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Accepting your done having babies
3

Ding3kids · 04/08/2017 23:19

My youngest is nearly 6 months, she has 2 older brothers aged 2 and 4. My OH wasn't keen on a 3rd but I'd talked about it since first being pregnant with number 1. Now having our 3rd I can't stop thinking about one more but know OH is dead against. In my head I know with 3 we can still have little luxuries and fun holidays that 4 might stretch us a bit more.
How do you shake off the feeling and accept your done?
Thanks

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Florriesma · 04/08/2017 23:27

it's easy now when they are little.
Now imagine 4 sets of after school activities. They will all be different!
Helping 4 dc with homework - you will probably have 2 doing sats at the same time anyway. 4 lots of reading/spelling Times tables . Now factor in about 10 (not an exaggeration) short notice school events/ term,4 lots of fancy dress for school at short notice plus donations and clashing birthday parties for at least 2 of them.

Moving onto secondary and start with 4 mobile phones/tech etc. In fact wander round pc world and jd and imagine handing you wages over to them.
I have 3 which is great but there is less time now they are older and more expense than there was when they were babies. I no longer need childcare.

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Poptart4 · 06/08/2017 15:36

How old are you ding3kids? Do you still have afew years to decide? Right now you have 3 kids under 5 which is alot for anyone. Maybe in afew years when your 3 are older and more independent your hubby would be open for another if that's what you really want. Or maybe once your out of the baby stage you'll decide you don't want to go back.

Do you really have to decide right now that your done?

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ricepolo · 26/08/2017 13:41

I've just had #4 and am struggling to accept that we're done. Realistically, I know we are and it's probably just my hormones screaming at me to get pregnant again (he's only 10 days old so am still very hormonal!!), but it's still really tough. Meeting your baby for the first time is so magical and it makes me weep (literally) to think that I'll never have that again.

I'm trying really hard to think of the positives of being done: I've got a great job lined up for post mat leave and there are hobbies I want to pick up again, as well as just enjoying watching our children grow up.

My other trick is to leave the option of another open. We'd always said that DH would go for the snip after #4 was safely here, but I've asked him to wait. I think that if we keep the possibility of another baby alive then it won't feel so hard: so I can keep telling myself that we'll have another in a few years, to give myself the breathing space to accept that we're done. It's going to be a very gradual thing for me, so this is the best way to allow my feelings to progress to that point.

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