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Original poster

How's old when you had your third and what age gaps?

50 replies

pinkletoes · 25/05/2017 21:31

DH and I have always toyed with the idea of 3! Currently we have 2 DDs aged 5 & 2. I can't decide whether I want a third but I'm 35 (we both are) and I'm worried if we don't try for one in the next year or two we might have missed the boat. DD1 came along first month we tried, DD2 took 7 months and a MMC which scares me a bit. Several friends have had MC recently, some quite late..I always thought I might like another at 38/39 (would like a few years on my career now ideally) but I'm worried about health risks / not being able to conceive.

Anyway I'm wondering what sort of age gaps mumsnetters with 3 have? When you had your third and if those age gaps are good / bad / if you'd do things differently if you had the time again. I know my own mum wanted a third at 40 and my dad didn't want another, it's her biggest regret. There's know knowing if she could have even had one but I know she would have liked to and also I would have loved another sibling (I think!)

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Original poster

pinkletoes · 25/05/2017 21:32

Sorry for the bloody typo in the title!!

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lilydaisyrose · 25/05/2017 21:34

I recently had baby 3 at age 36. I had my first child at age 27 (she is 10 this summer) and my second child at age 29 (he turned 8 this week. So I have 7.5yrs between DC2 and DC3 and 9.5yrs between DC1 and DC3. I would also like a fourth but have no room!

lilydaisyrose · 25/05/2017 21:36

I like my age gap. My two biggest are old enough to be fab with their baby sister and to play with her and read to her and keep an eye on her if I have a shower etc. I really would like a fourth in a couple of years so DC3 has a playmate though (I've 22 months between my eldest 2).

TheOriginalAngel · 25/05/2017 21:36

Had 3rd age 43. 2.5 year age gap. He is 4.

eastsixtieth · 25/05/2017 21:36

I have just had my third at 39 (and turned 40 in the past month) and my other two are 5 and 2 and a half.

ruthsmumkath · 25/05/2017 21:37

DC1 at 32, dc2 at 35 and dc3 at 38 (dc 4 at 42) 3 year gap between 1 &2 the 3 y 6 months between 2 &3 and 3 & 4 - longer gaps due to losses.

DarkFloodRises · 25/05/2017 21:37

I had mine when I was 31, 33 and 35 so quite small gaps. It was chaotic when they were little but now they're all at primary school and it's great. They get on well (most of the time!) and I was happy to get the baby phase over relatively quickly.

OhDearToby · 25/05/2017 21:40

I'm due my third in a few weeks. Dd1 is 7 and dd2 is 16 months so I've had a big age gap and now a small one.

I'd possibly like a fourth in 3 or 4 years.

DramaAlpaca · 25/05/2017 21:41

I was 29, 30 and 33 when I had mine, so less than four years between eldest & youngest. It was very tough at the beginning but got easier. I wanted to complete my family before I was 35 & I'm glad it worked out that way.

dementedma · 25/05/2017 21:42

I was 39 when I had Ds. This was after a pretty big gap.
Currently dd1 is 26, dd2 is 23 and ds is 15.

AppleOfMyPie · 25/05/2017 21:43

21 when I had my first, 22 when I had my 2nd, am 36 and having my 3rd. 14 months between 1 and 2, 14 years between 2 and 3!

Original poster

pinkletoes · 25/05/2017 21:44

I think I've always thought it would be lovely to have a 'little one' when my to older ones are starting secondary etc but my MIL pointed out that that would be really annoying for work / collections etc and I guess I hadn't factored that sort of stuff in. I love the freedom we now have as DD2 is a bit bigger but I just feel like I'll regret it if we just have the two. I guess that's another thread 'have you regretted not having another'!

OP posts:

Pallisers · 25/05/2017 21:45

I was 37 nearly 38. She was only a year younger than the next one but I didn't want to wait. I never had to play with them or entertain them (unlike first one).

Original poster

pinkletoes · 25/05/2017 21:46

Wow there are some big gaps! For those who have gaps of 5-6yrs between them how do you find it? I guess it could be annoying as older DCs aren't fully independent but youngest will need full time attention...I can see the appeal of having two DCs when in your twentys and two late thirties! Missed the boat with that tho!

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xyzandabc · 25/05/2017 21:49

I was 29, 31 and 34 when I had mine. The 1st year with a 2 yr old and a baby was hard. The older ones were 3 and 5 when baby 3 came along and that was much much easier.

They are now 10,8 and 5 and on the whole spend 50% of the time screaming at each other and 50% of the time playing brilliantly together and enjoying each other. I also think no. 3 has kept the older 2 young iyswim, they still enjoy going to the park and just running about which particularly some of the 10yr old friends have grown out of.

Newbiecat · 25/05/2017 21:53

I have recently expanded to 3! 2 years between my DD and DS1 now 61/2 and 41/2 and DS2 7 months. My son got to nursery and I sudddenly decided I wanted another! The older two are at school which helps enormously and they both love showing off their baby brother in the playground. The novelty hasn't worn off and I don't think it will!

Newbiecat · 25/05/2017 21:54

Oh yes, forgot to say- I was a month before turning 37 when I had number 3

Tsotofamily · 25/05/2017 22:04

I was 23, 24, 28 and 32 when I had mine.
There's 16 months between my older 2 then ds was just under 4 when dd2 was born and dd3 was just over 4 when dd3 was born. The older 3 all adore dd3 and she loves them back just as much. Wish the feelings we're mutual between the older 3 (they were great when younger but not so much now)

daisychainagain · 25/05/2017 22:05

My dc are 16, 12 and 19 months. Massive age gap. The older 2 are amazing with the little one.

keeplooking · 25/05/2017 22:12

I had number 3 when I was 44, and our older two were 10 and 8. Was so much more relaxed with the 3rd, than when I had a toddler and a baby. Wouldn't change a thing!

Whyisitsodifficult · 25/05/2017 22:22

10,8&4 here. The gap between my youngest and eldest is larger than I'd of liked but that was Mother Nature's decision! What I find the hardest is finding a common interest between eldest and youngest, my eldest doesn't really want to play 'baby' games or watch Paw Patrol. Equally if I want to take them to the cinema my youngest can't watch what's suitable for a 10 year old. Personally I would have found a smaller gap more manageable but sometimes you don't get a say do you. I would go for it sooner rather than later as who knows how long it could take to get your third. Best of luck not an easy decision.

namechangedtoday15 · 25/05/2017 22:27

4 yr old twins when Number 3 arrived. I was just 37 when she arrived (33 when I had the twins).

It did take a long time to conceive number 3 (nearly 2 years).

venys · 25/05/2017 22:34

Had mine at 35, 37 and 40. No problem conceiving and the third was the best pregnancy and birth out of the lot.

MotherofPearl · 25/05/2017 22:36

I have DD1 who is 9, DS who is three and a half years younger (so aged 5), and DD2 who has just turn 1 (so four and a half years younger than DS).

I had DD2 when I was 41. Had my mirena coil removed in the May, conceived in the August. I think you'd probably be fine waiting a year or two, but obviously I'm no expert.

BackforGood · 25/05/2017 22:46

Had my youngest when I was 37. At that point eldest was 5y3m, and middle was 2yr 10m.

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