in your experience, which is the harder leap?

[catalani50]

from none to one, one to two or two to three kids?

I've got two DS and although the logistics got harder when DS2 was born, there is nothing like the complete utter shell shock of going from zero to one..!

Am curious what others thing, as I contemplate having a third!

Probably from zero to one. I have four. The more I've had the easier it's become. I'm more confident and less panicky I don't question myself or my parenting anymore either.

10 to 11 as quite a big gap!!

Zero to one. Although I loved it and didn't have any problems it still a shock to the system.

I've four adult DC and there were times when they were teens and young adults where I felt there were too many a lot of them 😂. It's not just about when they are little. Iyswim

0 to 1 by far the hardest.

2 to 3 was a doddle.

I have 4.

Hardest was 1 to 2.
Easiest was either 0-1 or 2-3.

I think the age gap makes a difference as well as the nature of the baby. Dc1 and 3 just slipped in and were 'easy'. Dc2 was an unhappy baby (but a lovely toddler). Dc4 has just been a worry from the 12 week dating scan on...

2-3 was the easiest by far and most enjoyable.
0-1 will obviously be difficult for everyone as nobody really knows what to expect. 1-2 was quite difficult, I remember feeling worried that I wouldn't love another baby as much as I loved dc1, how to have a routine with 2 etc.
It took longer to adjust to having 2, but with the 3rd she just slotted in 😊

I found 3 to 4 hardest. This was probably because no1 was then at school, so I had to get three ready to take and collect him. Also no4 often needed a feed around 3 o'clock, which wasn't very convenient.

I like this post! I have 2, planning/really want a 3rd asap. 0-1 was a massive shock, 1-2 was a breeze. I see a lot of negativity about 2-3 so this post has been a really refreshing (and reassuring!) change

FourForYouGlenCoco - that's what I thought too! I keep reading posts about "don't have three kids it'll RUIN YOUR LIFE FOREVER!!!!!!"

The chaos and additional logistics of the different ages, and spreading yourself even thinner terrify me about three. But equally, I feel spread pretty thin anyway and the house is a disaster anyway and the noise levels always out of control..so really, would adding an extra one into the mix change all that much..?!

I just need to persuade DP...

2-3. Not only were we outnumbered, but dc3 was brain damaged at birth so we had way less time or available emotional energy to maintain the same levels of interaction and care for the other two. It was a very hard few years. By the time dc3 was about 5 or 6, I could have contemplated 3-4, but dh had already had the snip as a result of dc3's drama.

2-3 meant a lot of changes. Bigger car, bigger house (or shared bedrooms) plus then the additional expense of going out. E.g. Most family tickets are for two adults and two children. Holidays often meant extra expense of two rooms or a two bedroom apartment as most rooms had maximum occupancy of 4. We used to sneak an extra child in places like a travelodge when visiting relative street or uk
City breaks but obviously you can't sneak a baby on a plane.

Don't get me wrong I love all of mine and wouldn't change them or send them back. Just wish I had really thought about the additional logistics and expense.

0 - 1 undoubtably.

Once you've done 1-2 then you've kinda learnt how to multitask and it sets you up for expansion!

I have dcs bOrn within 5 years. Dc2 had ASD, which has certainly thrown us a lot of challenges. It does take away some of the one to one time, but when the other three dc are together, I find it really easy!

0-2 (helpful).
Twins, not a flippin' clue what we were doing!

2-3 was the easiest, although it's still bloody hard work.
1-2 was the hardest.

Dc3 is only 3 months old but so far:

1-2 was hardest (short gap)
2-3 has been far easier & a delight (longer gap).
Ages 5, 4 & 3 months.

I found 0-1 very hard, then 1-2 incredibly easy, then 2-3 was very difficult and I struggled for a long time. The washing is relentless and i struggle to stay on top of the housework whereas everything just seemed manageable when we only had 2. I wouldn't change it though.

I only have 2, several reasons but one of them is I found 1 to 2 such a shock. I was very lucky that I found zero to 1 ok.

0 to 1
Then 2 to 3

1 to 2 was a doddle in comparison!

But I think age gaps and circumstances have a great effect, too.

I have 4

2 to 3 was my worst simply because #3 had silent reflux and screamed 18 hours out of 24 and they kept saying it was "a touch of colic"

#4 was an utter breeze after that!

1 to 2 was the hardest for me (we have 4).

2-3 was the hardest by far for me, much worse than 0-1.

3-4 was the easiest.

1-2 was the hardest probably because number 1 had medical issues diagnosed at this time and needed a few operations and we had a significant family bereavement. 3-4 was a bit tricky as number 4 was unplanned and it took some emotional adjustment. Can hardly remember 0 days!

0-1, she's lovely now and still only sleeps 8-9hrs but more socially acceptable in a 12yr old. The other transitions were easy although hotels and needing a 4 bed house are the only bug bears with three now.

Someone i know with six kids said it depends on the temperament of the baby how hard the jump is.

0-1.Nothing quite like that 'oh my god it's my responsibility to keep this baby alive and well and when will I ever sleep or shower again?' realisation, I found. 1-2 and 2-3 were easy in comparison.