Siblings sharing a room - bedtime is hell

[OreoHeaven]

I'm in desperate need of advice, help and support.

Two of my children share a bedroom. They are 4 and 5. Bedtime is hell on earth.

They will not go to sleep. They constantly sneak off downstairs, rampage, jump about, play, fall out/squabble and then expect me to sort it out which is just as I am getting my toddler to nod off which typically results in the toddler being wide awake.

I've tried seperate bed times and I am in desperate need of inspiration/handholding as again I'm in tears due to frustration and I've spent the evening shouting which I hate. Don't know why I even do that as they ignore me.

Parenting is so hard at times. I've no energy left for anything else. The house is getting on top of me as I feel like I spend my entire day feeding and clearing up after the feeding. I'm suffering with crazy roaring pmt which is skewing my emotional stability I know.

Any tips on how you successfully get your children sharing a room to sleep?

Could you do three bedtimes by age?

So night one...eldest downstairs in front of TV snuggled under blanket for 15mins or so, younger two stories together, then settle yongest with lights out and take middle DC to bed, bit of quiet music or similar if they stay in bed and bribe of extra story if they stay in bed till you return. Return downstairs, story with eldest then quietly upstairs for second short story with both older children if they've been quiet.

When my elder two were young we approached bedtime with three stories of their choice and if they messed around they lost the choice of one of their stories, then a story, then the choice of a second story then that story etc. It was very effective as quite imediate reward for being good. If they were good I had more time for the stories so bedtime was no longer.

Thank you. I will try that. I might also try everyone back downstairs after baths for milk and then stagger it from then?

Have you tried story CDs? Of my younger 3, I get the eldest to listen quietly to a story while I put the younger 2 to bed. It has made a huge difference to bedtimes x

Really feel for you x
Ive certainly been there ,
We've just pit our 2 year olds cot into our four year olds room, at bed time we put the 4 year old (plus her own pillow and teddies, how she likes it) into Our bed and when they've both fallen asleep she's transferred into her own bed . We let her sit up with some books before she drops off and tell her its bcos she's the 'big girl'.
I admit I'm a bit of a hard arse when it comes to bed time, my OH is much softer (which can pee me off sometimes). I give them a drink before they go upstairs and make sure they've had a 'last wee' before tucking them in. If they come down the stairs a second time I get my mean horrible mummy face on and it dsnt happen a third time ! I know some pple find tht unkind, but I Need those few hours between their bed time at mine and I tell myself its very important fo lr them to hav solid sleep . Several of my friends and my sister have children who dictate bedtime and drive them insane (my niece will stay up past 10pm and she hasn't watched an evening adult tv program in th last six years !
Its reeeeally hard to b firm when ur tired , but I guess thts my advice, if they think they can get away with taking the piss they will !
Good luck 😊

Could the older one share with toddler? Then you could settle toddler while the others play quietly or draw or something, then get the 4 year old storied and cuddled, then read the 5 year old a story downstairs, by which time the toddler might be asleep.

I feel your pain by the way, I have 4 kids split between 2 bedrooms. Last night the 3 yo was in the 6 yo's bed pulling his hair and prising his eyes open.

I would put 4 year old in your bed and 5 year old own bed. Transfer 4 year old later on once both asleep

Thanks for all the advice.

My 5yo is really playing up at the mo. He doesn't take us seriously. Any discipline he laughs or shuts us up with a brief and insincere sorry. He thinks he can behave how he wants because a sorry fixes everything.

I dread bedtimes.

Actually I dread the time when I start doing dinner through to when they've gone to bed because it takes about 4/5 hours and by then I am on my knees. I've had enough.

DH doesn't get home until well after bedtimes and it can be hell here, even with 'fixes' in place I still find it exhausting.

I try and put them to bed in age order with half hours gaps, on a good day the previous one is asleep by the time the older one creeps into the room. While I am doing bedtimes anyone not in bed must be doing something silent.

In the past I have done reward charts just to break the bad habits, I've told them what's expected, if they do it the get a sticker etc...or I have banned certain toys or TV dues to really unhelpful bed behavior at bedtime. The bedroom windows are also completely blacked out (in an emergency you can wet a window and tin foil will stick to the window and block out light) and the landing light is a low watt bulb.

I do dinner earlier than I think I should and I eat just before I serve theirs up so that I'm not hungry and snappy later on. I try and tidy up as they are eating pudding so that I don't return to a mess once they are all in bed. On a good day dinner is a re-heat or something that went into the oven/slow cooker a few hours previously, that way I am less frazzled once the dinner, bed and bath routine starts.

If it's looks like it might all kick off and be really tricky I don't bother doing baths and just shower them in the morning if I need. When they are back at school the smaller ones sometimes get into the bath before dinner as they are so tired and this makes the after dinner bit easier.

It all looks really easy written down but there is nearly always the happens to make it more complicated!

It's definitely all about routine (which doesn't always work!!)
Loads of exercise, my kids are like dogs and need a good walk every day. Tea time, then quiet time after tea. No electronic gadgets after tea.
Bath time then supper (toast, fruit,milk)
Teeth then youngest ones story time. I read the older ones story in the livingroom then they have to go to bed silently when wee one sleeping . It doesn't always work and I sometimes have to wait longer for the wee one to go to sleep. I have even settled one of them in my bed before to get some peace!!