Another room sharing dilemma

[allegretto]

I have three children: DS (11), DS (6) and DD (6). We live in a three bed flat and 11 year old has a room to himself and the twins share. We will be shortly moving to a four-bed but I want one room as a study as I work from home and it is impossible to work in the lounge with everyone at home.

DH and I disagree. I think that the two boys should share (which the eldest doesn't want to do but he could always do his homework in the study if 6 year old is being a pain) and DD should have a room on her own. DH thinks the twins can share for at least until they start secondary school by which time my older son won't find his little brother so annoying (maybe).

Meant to add: please give me your opinions, especially on B/G sharing rooms and how to make it work! Thanks.

I shared with my brother until I was 10 (only 2 bed house until loft was converted) & it was fine but he is 3 1/2 yrs younger than me so not sure if that makes a difference.

If it were me, despite my experience being ok, I'd do what you suggest & split based on gender when you move as my 9 yr old son is making reference to boobs & bodies (yr 4 & learning about it in school) & given your DC are twins & therefore the same age, it could become an issue.

As a compromise, do what your husband suggests & then when they start to become more body aware, switch rooms then? I doubt your 6 yr old will be less annoying at any age to his older brother though

Could you not set up your study in a corner of your own bedroom so the DC can have a room each?

Not really - our bedroom is small as it is and I need more space. DH also needs it sometimes for his work - plus it would double as a guest room. We might do that eventually but not now.

As a compromise, do what your husband suggests & then when they start to become more body aware, switch rooms then?

I think we'll probably do this, thanks!

I think it would be easier swapping them now when you change house, rather than a few years along. The longer your eldest DS has his own room the harder it will be for him to share. A new house makes a good time for change, as everything is changing anyway.

I have a similar situation where my DS12 would love his own room, and at the moment his younger brother could share with his sister, but I think it would be harder on my DS to have his own room then have to share again later. So we are sticking with the boys together.

DS and DD shared until they were 8 and 9. They could have shared for longer but we moved here and they didn't need to.

Why would your OH think that your older son would be more willing to share at 16/17 after all those years alone? I can't see that happening at all. I'd also make them share when you move or give up the study. I think up to 9/10 is ok for boys/girls to share but they could easily be starting puberty near enough then

Will your dd want to have a room by herself if she has always shared? We have recently done the opposite. Our Dd is12 has always had her own room, being the only girl. But has always ended up sleeping in one of her brothers rooms, she very really slept in her room, so now she shares with her younger brother and my 16 and 18 yr old have their own room do the first time ever.

Do you have much outside space at the new house? What about a summer house / office outside?

Could you not have the biggest bedroom and set up a study in there? If not I would have the boys share the biggest room and your daughter have a small room to herself. I wouldn't have the boys share then swap, tour eldest really won't want to by then x

Guest room?? You haven't got space to factor in a guest room...
That reminds me of someone I know who has four children (all girls). They live in a 4 bed, but all 4 kids share the one room because the parents insist on both a study and a guest room (which is used maybe 3 times per year) . < irrelevant>

What have you got downstairs?

Have you a separate dining room that could have an office corner? Could a conservatory be added to create more downstairs space?

It does seem crazy to not accommodate the office somehow else tbh.

You and dh have the biggest room and use part as a study. Your children can take it in turns to have the sofa when guests come.