wwyd outings becoming difficult

[Dorsetmama]

Tbh, my kids don't get out much. This is mostly due to living in a rural town with not alot to do, plus not having own transport. I am planning on taking driving lessons in the new year. We go to school, we go to the park, walk the dog. The after school clubs that they could attend are age related and are not on the same days, and as we live a mile away from school its not really viable whilst I don't drive.
We take occasional trips to events or to the cinema etc... But im finding it increasingly hard to cope with them out and about. They are ok doing routine stuff like the school run.
And if i take one out on his own he is usually fine.
I pay as much attention as possible to each kid when we go out together, but if I'm slightly distracted by shopping or ordering or paying it all seems to fall apart. My eldest, autistic, is usually fine. In fact quite the other end and it tends to stress him when his siblings act up. One of them is also under investigation for ADHD so this probably contributes towards the problem.
They are 9, 8, 6 (nearly 7) and 5 (6 in 6 months) all boys.

Anyone got any ideas?

I have four children with similar age gaps (one with ASD/ADHD). They are older now (aged 11-15) but I have to admit that taking all of them all out on my own has never been relaxing.

Here are some things that did work:

• Meeting up with other adults with children, which seemed to dilute the stress.

• Taking a picnic to a playpark and arranging to meet other families there.

• Kids am and autism-friendly showings at the cinema.

• Nature walks in the woods, especially if they could take cameras or look out for specific things.

Things that didn't work:

• Shopping (DS2 used to wander off until he was late primary age)

• Large museums (unless I had another adult to help)

• Beaches (unless deserted so I could easily see where they were).

• Soft play (expensive for four, and it tool ages to find them all when it was time to leave).

God i would never go to a soft play on my own!!

I also once made the mistake of Monkey World and i had to climb this enormous net to rescue my youngest who froze with fear, then it took ages to find the rest of them.

Picnics tend to be good, so I will do more of that in the good weather.

I like the idea of cameras, do you use disposables so they can all have one each? Or just let them have a go on yours? Im soon to be single mum and im worried about the necessities getting done when they have to be with me. Online ordering doesn't always work out, and then there's waiting in doctors lounges etc...

They have discipline. And i think I'm consistent. Not perfect obviously.
But i dont want to be frightened of taking my kids out!!

I'll have to persevere with making friends, but people seem to be oddly wary of large families... Or maybe it's because i have all boys!

I looked out for offers on compact digital cameras and bought them for their 8th birthdays (spent about £30 on each). Grandparents contributed towards them. These were a really good investment as the children used them almost daily until they were old enough to have mobile phones. I think it worked out cheaper in the end than disposable cameras. They also used them to make dozens of stop motion animation movies using Lego.

people seem to be oddly wary of large families

Yes, you soon find out who your true friends are.

Wow thats cool. Ds2 had one but it was too cheap and used up more batteries than a wii remote.

Im going to keep an eye out in the sales

Dorsetmama - I've just brought my dd a camera for Xmas, it was half price (£15) at toys r us. They had a few to choose from too

I have a similar age range, 9, 7, 5 and almost 4. My 7yo has ASD and is my trickiest dc. Her anxiety levels are really quite high.

More structured outings really suit us: movies, swimming etc. and also going out with a groupofother children and adults! Yes, I find a lot of others find me with 4dds an oddity, I'm sure the mere numbers put a lot of people off, but also I think the people I've known since I meet dd1 at nursery don't find us all that strange! I also do a lot of the motivating for getting groups out.

It is really hard work though, but I'm less stressed because I'm with other adults. It is a lot harder being at home with them!

On Sunday morning the 3 oldest dds have swimming lessons. I usually take all 4 swimming by myself. There are other dc from school and they usually all have fun. Could you do something like that's?

Thanks Tsoto I'll take a look

imip our local pool has a 2 kid per adult rule unfortunately, unless they are very strong swimmers which they are not.

I could look into swimming lessons though.

I may have to bite the bullet and attend the kids clubs after school and just hang about. There must be other parents that wait.

I'm new to this town, been here about a year, about time i put myself about a bit, ha ha. There are some lovely mums.

Don't you ever get worried about what they'll think if one of the brood play up?? People seem to automatically think "she's got too many to cope with"

Yes, ours has that rule too. 1 can swim and is over 8. I manage by alternate swimming classes covering us and a friend from school usually being in the pool. Come July it will be easier as dd2 turns 8. This has all taken a significant amount if planning, but I think their is no easy way.

I constantly worry about dd2 behavior as she has ASD PDA. I'm sure many people think I can't cope! 4dcs I can cope with, ASD is a massive struggle. I felt relieved once her diagnosis came through as it proved I wasn't incompetent, we have genuine issues. But I'm cross about not being believed.

You're after school club actually sounds good. If all DCs can go, I'd say you'd have secured yourself some good mumsnet time!

Well, the clubs dont accept all kids at once. But whilst my eldest two are doing their club i could attempt to sit and watch with the younger two. But im not sure how well it would go in practice.