age gaps

[happytobemegs]

Me and my oh would like to start trying for baby no3 September/October time after dd2 turns 1. My mum said it could be a bit early even if we don't conceive straight away. I was just wondering what is the age gap between your youngest and baby? xx

15 months to the day!! Bit of an accident….

There's 3.2y between dd1 and dd2 (I would have liked a smaller gap but dd2 took 2y to show her face!). That's a bmnice gap.

Dd1 will turn 6yo next month and dd2 will be 3yo soon.

I think we may start trying again this month (!) so if we conceived straight away unlikely there would be a 3.6y gap between dd2 and dc3.

I think we would give it 6m and review it then so atm looking at a 3.6y-4y gap (so an approximate 7y gap between dd1 and dc3).

I think that I would only give it one year this time. Couldn't do through the endless/fruitless months of ttc, plus as we wouldn't like to have 4 dcs (unless twins!) I wouldn't want a 3y gap, then anything more than a 5-and-a-half y gap really between dd2 and dc3 (plus factoring in my age - not old but not far from 35).

*nice gap

And, if you did conceive immediately when your dd turns 1yo, that's a very ordinary 21m/almost 2y gap.

I have a friend who has exactly 21m between her first two, and 4y3m between dcs 2 and 3. She found the 21m gap hard (dual nappy changes for a while; toddler tantrums & a newborn; toilet training & a tiny baby). She once said she wished she'd waited a little as she liked the gap between my two.

But it's swings and roundabouts. There are ups and downs to all age gaps.

For example, my friend has her baby with her all day whilst her eldest two are at school, whereas if we were to conceive this month, I'd have a school and nursery run to do with a newborn in tow (I now see why my friend has that 4y gap ... )

It's not always possible to have the luxury of choice, of course.

The mums I see who have a school run, a nursery run and a newborn- I don't know how they do it! Do they sleep at all!

I like an easy life so the idea of double buggies/ double nappies, sleepless night with toddler tantrums and potty training would totally overwhelm me.

But many women do it...

I had 3.5 years between my eldest sons (heaven, loved it) then when my youngest son was 16months my twins were born (massive surprise) I found the small age gap extremely hard. I found it hard as my son was still a baby but had completely differs needs from my twins. He's now almost 4 and the twins are 2.7 and things are getting easier but it's been a very hard few years and I really feel like I missed out on a lot of Harvey's babyhood as I was pregnant and ill or tending to babies. I do feel really guilty about it. Having said that they play so nicely together now and are so close and that makes it worth the struggles.

Oh and we used to get through 400 nappies a month in the early days

15 month gap here. Love it

4dcs 19, 20 and 22 month gap. When my eldest was in reception, my youngest was born. It was really hard work (and it is still hard work, but they are 8, 6, 4 and 3). However, it now feels like the it was sooo fleeting. Such a short while in the baby haze, that if you want to get it over and done with, it is probably the way to go.

That said, I am really enjoying my time with dc4, but I wouldn't have wanted a 3 or so year age gap (I didn't have enough time!).

1 year gap almost exactly (missed by 2 days!) between dd1 and ds1. they are now 2y 2m and 1y 2m, and I want to start ttc dc3 soon! dh isn't 100% on board with my madness yet, so depending on if I convince him and how ttc goes, we could have 3 under 3!
My two are soo close it's wonderful, from my experience, they benefit so much from close age gaps. dh is one of 4, all close together, and loved it. I only have one sister 3 years younger and although we got along, we didn't really have much in common once we got a bit older. Especially once we hit teenage years.
Although close age gaps can seem daunting and hard work, there are so many benefits both immediate and long term. I really wouldn't have it any other way.