If you grew up in a big family.....

[DuggarMother]

Did you like it?

How do you feel about it now? Would you recommend it?

They aren't, really. Unevenly distributed would be more like it.

Sorry, it's a side issue. It seemed to be coming up every few posts, though!

Yes let's just build more and more houses, roads, buy more and more stuff and have 7 kids each. I'm sure it will all be fine.

Very similar experience to pag and holy here. No. 8 of 9. My parents had completely given up even pretending to care by the time the youngest of us arrived. They started out as educated,wealthy interested parents and ended up tired, uninterested and poor. The youngest of us were dragged up. My oldest sister snd brother who assumed far too much responsibility for us, but had benefited from the original interest, money and time moved on to university and we were left to our in devices. Benign neglect.

Now that I have my own children I'm quote cross about how little interest they took in my life. They couldn't tell you what I studied at uni, never helped out financially and never came to see my graduate from anything.

I agree with a pp, those with large families perhaps have a different viewpoint to their children. I know my parents certainly had no idea how we feel about it. If asked they would trot out a "Waltons mountain" line.

All of that said, when my parents were terminally ill, having a large number of siblings certainly made it easier. Bar one sister I am very very close to my other siblings. We genuinely love each other's company and have frequently forgone friendships in favour of hanging out with each other.

I would not recommend a lrage family unless you have an enormous income, multiple staff and the patience of a saint.

Ooops, forgot to answer your questions - yes I liked it (three older sisters so there was always some childcare if Mum was out at work), but they were old enough that we were never competing for attention because their world and mine very different - I'd be in bed when they would be up, they were away in other parts of the country when I was in my teens (in fact, our Mum took in an Iranian student around 3 years older than me, as he went to the same school (early/mid 70s, before troubles in Iran over loyalty to the Shah)... and his father travelled - no idea what his work was... perhaps a diplomat or spy (!) :)

So many typo's sorry. First post ever and I have no idea how to edit.

Space is not the issue, it's about resources.

Minerals, water, fossil fuels food. THat is the issue.
If anyone sees this is a side issue are seriously deluded. The population of the world has grown from 2 to to 11 billion in only 80 years.

On a finite planet, nothing physical can grow indefinitely.

www.populationmatters.org/issues-solutions/natural-resources/

im the youngest of 8. it had its pros and cons. were lots of problems but lots of good times to. cant really say if it was a good or bad thing

WhamBam - Welcome We can't edit. Keeps the conversation flowing, cock-ups & all.

I'm one of five. I loved it, although of course you can still feel lonely when you are in a crowd. My parents had plenty of money so we still had our own rooms and overseas holidays, horses etc so that of course helps loads. Four of us are very close now as adults. My dad was always at work but I suppose he would have been even if there were less of us. My mom was always at the sink though, which perhaps she wouldn't have been if she had less children. I remember going to my cousins house, there were only two of them, and thinking how quiet and boring it was! I think it's great from the perspective of a child as long as there is enough of the basics but I definitely couldn't do it as a parent!

A lot of the "bad memories" chime with me - and I"m an only child. My parents were very busy with the business of survival - I got myself to school from age 8 - by 11 I was a latchkey kid fixing my own tea. My parents never had a strong sense of me as an individual - and didn"t "see" a lot of things in my life (they struck me even then as quite naive and inexperienced in the issues of kids/teens).

I never had decent clothes or ostentatious gifts - partly since we weren't rich - but mainly as I wasn't vocal enough to push for my needs beyond what they felt I needed.

I installed myself at uni via National Express coach and a holdall - 2 years prior to which I;d been a 5 days per week housekeeper/cleaner for my manchild-father while DM worked in another town.

It seems that large families can amplify some pre-existing tensions (eg money) - but these problems exist in families of all sizes.

Thanks garlic

Thing is, not everyone is having seven children. Not even close. I think more people are purposely childless than ever before, and the age of first time mums is going up. If you start having kids at 36, you won't have nearly as many as if you'd started at 22 (obviously). The population will stabilize itself.

Hmm looking at bigbluestars figures not sure the stabilisation thing is really working out. It's selfish - justify it to yourself if you please but that's the inconvenient truth.

YY, Cheerful. 25% of women now reach 45 child-free (one in four women, for the fractionally challenged.)

Oh please cheerful - that is a vacuuous argument.
50% of the populations of China and India are under the age of 24. We have an exponential global growth.
Anyone who has more than 2 children is contributing to this growth.

Well, I'm the one in four, bigblue, so some poster on here's had my two

I'm one of four, so big-ish family. At the time I don't think I really noticed, but now I really appreciate it. We all get on well, and it's great when we all get together, lots of noise and fun. Also lots of lovely SIL's and BIL's to add to the family!

Oh yes garlic- and that is why global population is stable.

Oh wait- but it isn't is it. So your reasoning holds no water.

I am one of 8. Didnt like telling any one I was from such a large family. people judge. I love it now though and prefer being with my family more then any of my friends! much as I love them. You cant beat family .

I was going to add "25% in several European countries, including ours, the USA & Canada", bigblue. But I thought Mumsnetters could work that out for themselves, or look it up.

Seems I was wrong. Have your back.

Anyway, why are you pushing your world agenda on a thread about big families? Can't you find a more appropriate topic for your particular angst?

bigblue

why don't you start a new thread about overpopulation? it's a good subject on its own.

But I feel this thread is not so much about arguing, but memories and personal issues. which is interesting.
starting an argument is not.

Populations in the West are gradually declining, which brings problems of it's own (too many pensioners being supported by too small a working population). The obvious solution is to have more people moving from over populated parts of the world, but that brings it's own issues as seen by the growth of right wing racist anti immigration parties across Europe.

Oh and I grew up as the youngest of four and rather wished that my mother had managed to have the other children she wanted (miscarriage before me and then a miscarrage and still birth after me).

My big sister did a lot of mothering for me, which wasn't so great when she and my big brother both left home and my next sister up ignored me (four year gap too big for us to have much in common). I went from having a lively home with lots of people around to being pretty much on my own and it was very lonely. I also felt I had much too much of my mother's attention.

Interesting contrast to my cousin and best friend who was the second of seven and felt she never had any time with her mum. All families are different of course but I think the more children you add into the mix them more challenging balancing all their needs are (finances weren't an issue in my family).

So overpopulation has nothing to do with having lots of kids.

I think the subject is very pertinant.
Just because Western countries have relatively stable populations does not compensate for the fact that planet Earth is at crisis levels.

Be a nimby of it makes you comfortable though.. As long as you are fine eh.

Of course it has to do with having lots of kids. But at the same time it matters how many people are having lots of kids. If there are fifty people having only two kids each, that's still more people than if you have fifty people and 49 of them remain childless, with the remaining one having a dozen.

I have two kids (well, one on the way). I don't know if I'll have more. But I know, oh, eleven people immediately off the top of my head who are not having any and won't be, through choice or infertility. I know far more with only children who will remain only children.