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Original poster

Working full time with more than 2 kids?

13 replies

Lieveke77 · 09/08/2014 18:42

Are there any full time working mums with a career and 3 or more kids? How do you find it? What are your challenges?

I work full time with 2 kids a 3 year old and a 5 m old baby. I would love to have a third (if possible I'm 39...). I enjoy my work and get lots of energy from it and sure sometimes it's hard work/stressful too... A good friend recently scared me off saying having a third will make it impossible to have a career (she has 1 would have liked more). If I don't try now it might never happen and might regret it later on in life however I don't want to stop work/give up my career.

Any advise or thoughts would be so much appreciated!

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BettyNettle · 10/08/2014 08:11

I am trying to cling onto my career and it is very hard (we have three kids, 6, 4, 2). I don't work full time though but want to build up my own business, so I think that me being flexible with my work actually means that the kids always take preference over my career. If you have to be in the office then you have to be there, and you won't be so tempted to take time off to watch another school play, etc etc.

You will need a LOT of help around the house and with the kids.

The thing is that babies / toddlers are very easy, it is only when they are older and start having appointments, clubs, places to be that it becomes very difficult to coordinate with a ft job, on top of all the educational stuff you want to be doing with them, and the regular running of family and house, and think about the school holidays.

Sorry this sounds negative and good luck!

Muddlewitch · 10/08/2014 08:19

I don't work full time but do 29 hours a week, am a single parent to 4 children ranging between 3-14.

It is hard work and a constant juggling act, but it can be done. You do feel constantly pulled in both directions and the mummy guilt can be a bit overwhelming, but I think a lot of mums find that regardless of their situation.

Being organised is the key, and dropping your standards a little bit. Am seriously thinking about getting a cleaner for a couple of hours a week as the housework is hard to keep up with.

Pastperfect · 10/08/2014 08:22

I work FT with 3 DC.

It is hard, I have a role that covers two continents and travel a lot with no family locally.

You can have a career but there are times you will wonder whether it is worth it.

I'm not sure it is true that it gets harder as they get older but it certainly doesn't get easier - the DC are easier to leave, we can talk on phone and bedtimes become more flexible but there is a constant pressure to be available for play dates, other activities and clubs.

Sanity was only restored in our house when we employed a fabulous nanny. It has been a trade off - more years of accepting a large proportion of salary will be spent on childcare but it had restored order and actually means I can focus on my job.

melissa83 · 10/08/2014 08:24

We both work full time with 2 and its not stressful and we havent needed any help as place is tidy as we arent in it. Chores only take a couplr of hours a week. Im having third next month and having 2 weeks maternity.

Dh is back at work next May and has decided to do for 4 12 hour shifts so more like part time as still has 3 days off. We are still having more children after this and I dont see it as a problem.

Mumof3xox · 10/08/2014 08:26

I work between 24 and 36 hours a week and have 3 dc

Two are primary school age, youngest 16 months

I have just separated from their dad, but to be honest I was doing everything on my own anyway!

I am slowly starting to become more organised which is helping but some weeks I spend my entire weekend tidying up

whatadrain · 10/08/2014 08:41

I am a full time teacher and I have three children - 2, 2 and 9. I'm constantly exhausted and broke from nursery fees. One of the other challenges is the fact the the house is a mess (permanently) and no clothes ever get ironed!

I love my job though so it does feel worth it. I feel like the time I spend with the DC is quality time as we make the most of it by going out to the zoo or the beach etc rather than sitting around watching CBeebies, which is probably what we would be doing if I was always at home.

Tips I would give would be to do a big online shop once a week, cook all your meals for the week on Sunday and freeze. Also, school dinners rather than packed lunches and clothes laid out the night before make the morning rush a bit more smooth!

WaxyDaisy · 10/08/2014 08:43

I have four kids and work almost full time in a fulfilling career. It is doable, but only because DH is v supportive and does everything 50:50. Also we both work v locally. Childcare has been a challenge sometimes.

Original poster

Lieveke77 · 10/08/2014 08:53

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts! DH is supportive he makes the dinners, we have a cleaner and a pick up nanny for a few days a week. As the kids are in nursery it's still easy (8-6) but with school holidays and 3pm finish it will be harder. We don't have family here.
But somehow when I'm 60 or so I probably would really regret not having a 3rd vs thinking I shouldn't have had DC3 because of all the hard work/expenses?

OP posts:

BettyNettle · 10/08/2014 09:11

Hehe! I knew we couldn't put you off

And you've got a good setup in terms of help.

Pastperfect · 10/08/2014 09:21

You sound like you're sorted - I would strongly suggest swapping the pick up nanny for a FT nanny in advance of the DC starting school. The financial impact is worth every penny.

We negotiated some additional responsibilities with our nanny for the hours when DC were at school - picking up dry cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking etc. which made a huge difference to our lives.

Now we're a bit further along the line we also have a housekeeper and so between them they really do keep me sane and it means that the time I am at home is spent having fun with the DC.

Suzietwo · 14/08/2014 08:13

I have a baby, 2.5 year old and 4.5 year old. I work f/t but my office is in my home. 2ishdays p/w I spend the day in meetings away from home.

When my third was due my bloke tried to go p/t but they wouldn't agree. In the end he quit and became a stay at home dad as I earn around 6 times what he did.

A nanny might have done the job for us, rather than having him quit, but I do think it would have been tricky for the nursery/school years.

So yes I work f/t with a good career but my bloke has given up work

MultipleMama · 15/08/2014 21:02

I plan to go back to FT work a year after #7 is born! I didwork from home (20hrs a week) until recently when it became too much. I work until the end of the month when my notice finishes and that's me done excluding freelance work. I enjoyed working from home as I could be with the DC - we don't want a nanny raising our kids, we had them we raise them, but we do have a part-time housekeeper, she's amazing!

DH works FT. We manage fine though it's hard sometimes. We make it work :)

Good luck if decide to go for #3 :)

aubreye · 22/08/2014 12:52

I work full time with four kids. DH is often abroad as well. Since DS has been born, we have been through four au pairs, all young and lovely. The first two left us when they got married and the other was going back to university. At the moment no. 4 is great and is going to pick up all four from school from September onwards!!!

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