Unplanned pregnancy number 4

[mymummymymummy]

Just done a test and found out I'm pregnant with baby number 4. I already have three lovely little ones - 8,6, just 4 and I'm not sure what having another one will do to our family. DH and I have been married for 10 years and I think another baby would put too much strain on our marriage - it's been constant sleepless nights for nearly 9 years now! (and I don't cope with lack of sleep well!) My husband didn't want number 3 (also a surprise - you'd have thought we'd have learnt that time!) but we went through with that pregnancy and he is really fantastic and hands on with all of the children. I'd have this child if I had his full support - as we make beautiful babies - but I already know I don't have which is hard. But in the reverse situation I'd be digging my heels in too. Logically I know that having a forth baby isn't the right thing for us but I just can't seem to get my heart around it. Has anyone else been in this situation?

Not been in a similar situation, I've only got twins. But I can imagine if I did fall pregnant again I would be. I personally think that you should go with what your heart says. There are always ways around things, and you've got time to persuade your husband. You never know, it could be a repeat of #3! Well, if you've coped with sleepless nights for 9 years already a few more years wont hurt!

But then again, you can't go it alone. I'd keep at persuading your DH, but if he still does not I would reconsider you're options. You can always TTC later on if thats what you want.

Why are you still having sleepless nights with children 4+?

Isn't it usual for DCs to sleep through well before 1yr?

It sounds like you just need time to get over the shock and sort out contraception for next time!

DC's sleep through before they are 1?! you are kidding me right??

I have three sons and it took till they were 2.5 to sleep through for the older two and number three still isnt...and Im expecting number four in a couple of mnths

I would suggest letting your pregnancy sink in properly and def discuss it with your hubbie...you never know he may suprise you and give a totally different reaction. Its a scary thought going forward with a pregnancy you are uncertain about initially but Im sure your gut feelings are right

Good luck!!

Tbh it's only on mn that I've heard of DCs not sleeping as toddlers.

I know that some DCs are more challenging but I still don't think it's the norm.

My 9 year often wakes in the night, along with my 5 year old... Ds 18 months usually slerps through!

I'm 27 weeks with number 4, this one was a huge surprise. DC3 is only just coming up a year, we have a very modest income and rent a 2 bed house - not ideal circumstances at all.

At first my head told me I should have a termination, but my heart and my gut said no. Luckily for me, DH is totally on side with me.

I know I've made the right choice, yes we will be skint and overcrowded for now, but I couldn't have lived with myself if I'd not kept this baby.

Give yourself a bit of time to really consider what's right for you, maybe go speak to your GP and see what support is available to you as well. Don't make any rash decisions.

Incidently, my DCs sleep through, but with this pregnancy I bloody don't!

Hi all, thanks for your messages. I think my heart has won. I can't imagine not having this baby now. Feel a bit mean towards my husband and can't even imagine how my daughters are going to feel about having to share a room but heyho that is the hand that life has dealt my family and whatever happens now it is better than the alternative. For the record my guys do sleep - but not every night. Statistically the more you have the less chance you have of a full nights sleep - and all are up by 5.30am most mornings which makes for very long days.

Firstly congratulations!
You have a really lovely age gap there.
I have 4 kids...
Dd9
Dd6
Ds3
Ds1

I think you'll manage fine. All 3 of your kids will be at school and you'll have a newborn baby to coo at all day!!

Seriously though, it will set you back to zero again.. But that's about the worst part of it. I cannot believe my baby is 1 years old now. It's truly flown by.

The best bits for me was doing it again one more time, for me. I really got to 'take it all in' and rounding up the numbers to 4 has been great too.

We managed to split no 4 bedroom into 2 as it was huge, so there's 5 bedrooms and we are up in the loft bedroom with an ensuite. 1 Bathroom between the 4 of them is fine now but might be tricky later, but they could always use ours upstairs. We got a VW sharan car,, bloody love it. It's automatic and it's the same width of a normal family car but just a lot longer.

We have zero family help, so it's just us, but oh works from home 2 days a week meaning he can help out.

Amy questions, just ask x

weatherall my nearly 3 year old still does not sleep all night lol

My fourth was a surprise but I wouldn't have it any other way. She is now 9 months old and absolutely wonderful.

My older children are dd1 15, ds1 13 and ds2 10. The massive age gap made things a bit worrying but the big ones have accepted the baby and fortunately adore her.

Good luck with everything