4 children?

[thefedupgorilla]

Hi MN

Ive got 3 children aged 1 yrs, 2.8 yrs& nearly 6 yrs old. would I be crazy to consider having 1 more? I am keen to further my career over the next few years but know if we wait a few more years then it wont probably happen ever. we are secure,both want this etc. anyone got similar age gaps?

I had no 4 the month before DC1 turned 6 so had 6, 4, 2 and newborn. 20 months later it has actually worked out well for us. There is always a combination of 2 or 3 that will play together. DC1 and DC2 can push DC4 in a baby swing for 10 minutes whilst I sort dinner or run upstairs to grab something for me.

It is busy and the laundry is constant. I have very little time for "me" as someone is always needing something. You have to be organised to get the school run in the morning fitted in but so do houses with only 2 kids. Bit of logistics fitting in all the after school activities and the younger two get dragged along with a ball to play on the grass next the church hall during ballet etc. But they know no different.

Things that helped were a cleaner to ensure at one point in the week the house was clean and I do Tesco Saver home deliveries - large grocery shops aren't fun with 4 kids in tow! I get 2 smaller orders delivered a week.

It is lovely watching them all interact : )

I have 4 - roughly 2 years apart, then 3 years till the last one

I agree that 4 works well for the children, and it's a lovely size of family, but it's exhausting for the mum. If furthering your career is really important to you, you might be better to stick with three

I gave up work 10 years ago, it was a professional career, I don't miss it, but if I did I would struggle to fit it in. Admittedly now two of mine have a chronic illness.

Children need you to be around in the teenage years - and with 4 that takes a lot of effort.

4 children is an expensive undertaking & holidays can become prohibitive.

Having said that, I am glad I have them!

thank you for your replies,food for thought. Dont want to live with regrets and know I would regret not having another child. my 3 are so close& its lovely watching them play.

Same as fresh
Mine are now 10, 8, 7 (she just had a birthday to mess up the pattern) and 4

I didn't find four any harder than 3 to be honest and now of course I know no different

I've just had no4 7 weeks ago, older ones are 6, nearly 4, and 2. I've gone back to work between each baby but luckily it's a family friendly profession so I can work part time. Lots of other woman I work with have big families, in fact a couple of them have 4 kids too, so don't think it's a problem in my line of work. I decided it was better to have then reasonably close together so I get maternity leave out of the way sooner as it is hard returning due to so many things at work changing all the time!
This is our last baby so I'll make the most of my final maternity leave!

You sound like you are almost ready to plan the 4th!

But I am not so sure if you would be able to further your career with four children? Sounds very hard and I would be interested to hear of you all with three or more kids who manage to do that.

I have three (5, 3 and 1) a lot of help, and also trying to work on my business and it can be frustrating juggling everything. I guess it depends on your line of work, but surely furthering career also means putting in the hours.. Good luck for whatever you decide!