Do you ever want to scream when your friends with 2 DC moan about how hard it is?

[sweetkitty]

Have come in here for some tea and sympathy and have a little rant.

Most of my friends have 2DC some have 3, I have 4 (I know not a competition but still), a few friends in particular are always moaning about how much they have to do, how much washing they have, how much running about etc.

One friend in particular with 2DC is always going on about how hard it is, she told me 3 times today she was shipping her DC off to Grandmas for a few hours for a break. She's knows this is not an option for me (one gran dead, one gran abusive) so I feel she is being a bit insensitive going on about shipping DC off to Grandmas for some peace. She also harps on about how much washing and housework she has to do and I feel like screaming you have no idea.

Another friend with one school age DC goes on and on about the school run and how she hates Mondays as it is Rainbows day. I pick her DD for Rainbows (with my 4) and her hubby collects her so she doesn't have to do anything really apart from get her dinner and get her ready. Every bloody week she moans and moans knowing full well I take DD2 to Rainbows, hang about for an hour with 3DC then take DD1 to Brownies, luckily then I get to go home and my DP picks her up.

I know we made a choice to have 4DC knowing we would have sod all help but I'm constantly biting my tongue off with all it's so hard comments.

thanks for listening to my rant I'm the only one of my friends with 4DC so have noone to rant with!

bigger families

My aunt had 14 kids and never complained. Maybe the more you have, the less you complain, as you expect to be busier and have to put up with the drudgery.

Thinkingof4, I totally agree & was about to pay respect to Catus but got diverted by minor domestic emergencies & couldn't draft it right so had to send and school-run - story of my life - no wonder my childfree friends have abandoned me... good heavens I am a feminist and do not accept that my lot is drudgery - I regularly review domestic arrangements with my husband and older children to share the workload and get the support I need so that I have the energy to get out and earn a living / have some semblance of a social life. The 'hard' part of a large family I find is making time for conversations / dealing with emotional needs / the incredibly complex school runs for different aged schools, plus the juggling to e.g fit in health appointments and playing board games / homework with older ones when seditious toddlers are asleep.

SweetKitty, reading through the thread and what chimes/clashes, I am wondering whether the issue is:

• totally ok to moan at someone dealing with the challenges & joys of a larger family
• it would be quite a delight to have someone moan at me about something I didn't face day to day, e.g. emotional issues, something annoying about the detail of life that I hadn't had time to notice.
• but we are going to be much less sympathetic about moans which are related to juggling / regular chores / weekly routines etc. We have been to hell and back on this one and are totally bored and stressed about it so don't want to hear about your issues!!!!

Cactus
I can completely understand that
and I think that is why we have the large family, only child etc sections. So that when life does feel a bit much we can rant away with people who understand where you are coming from. I think it stops the my mil is a bitch, just be thankful you have a mil or my dh spends too much time at the pub, just be thankful you have a dh type of arguments

Sweetkitty- I have 4 and no help (just moved to the other side if world which has made it much the sane tbh but that's another story). Your post about people commenting how u get out house etc when you actually have no choice resonants. Generally the moaning i don't mind but I admit I get annoyed with SIL and her moaning about how her mum doesn't do enough. She lives next to MIL and gets daily help with her teenage kids (yes 15 and 12). She works 16 hours (could possibly work anymore hours apparently - I work 40 with 4 littlies but I can "pay someone to look after mine" apparently so that's ok- like I have FA choice as I have no grannies to step in. She doesn't know she's born

Sorry rant over