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Original poster

Help to get over broodiness!

15 replies

2sons1hubby · 21/03/2011 13:13

I know there are a few similar threads about 3rd children but my problem is that whilst I would consider a third (and am quite broody sometimes) my DH is dead set against it. I need help to try and get over broodiness for 3rd as I can see myself getting a bit obsessed and I want to avoid arguments with DH. I need to just accept the lovely boys I've got as my complete family. Any suggestions?

OP posts:

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cara0705 · 21/03/2011 14:12

i have 2 daughters and the thought of having another which might i add could be another girl would would probable have me pinning for another lol.

i have no advice than to just apreciate ur 2 boys and you never know ur DH might be the one asking for the third.

good luck whatever the outcome is.

Rilith · 21/03/2011 18:12

Buy a dog?? Not quite the same I know but they can make you use your time up and you can pamper them and cuddle them??

Original poster

2sons1hubby · 21/03/2011 20:43

Rilith - ha ha i would think about it but we've already got a cat who rules the roost!

My sister in law just had her second son so I'm hoping some horror stories about lack of sleep and jealouse siblings will help out me off. Although that is now 4 boys in the family and no girls. Sounds like a challenge!

OP posts:

kitkat1000 · 21/03/2011 21:28

i felt exactly the same last year. I have 2 DD age 5 and 3 and have always wanted 3 children. When my youngest was 2 i was DESPERATE for a 3rd child and me and DH rowed all the time about it as he wasn't as keen- more because of lifestyle issues really (he didn't want us to be skint and have rubbish holidays!). We did try for 3 months but after noticing he barely came near me:) i finally realised that if i did get pregnant he would end up resenting me and i wouldn't have been able to enjoy it. I gave up the idea and i am so glad i did as now my youngest is 3.5yrs i've realised that i was probably only broody as i was nearing the end of baby age and now i'm at the other side i am grateful my DH was more level headed than me! I stil haven't completely ruled out third but i doubt i'd go back now - most people i know who have 3 kids are skint and have stressful lives and never go on holidays! (i'm sure not all though!). Plus EVERYONE of their husband tell my DH to stick with two (men more honest than women!).

Original poster

2sons1hubby · 22/03/2011 17:32

That's really interesting - it sounds really similar to our situation. Thanks for telling me!

OP posts:

hollyfort · 22/03/2011 23:00

kitcat,
we've got four under eight and are going to stay in a villa in france for a wk in the summer (we're not millionaires!), so i guess that flys in the face of people who say that people with 3 kids never go on hols. I think if you want to have another you want to or not want to and people stating holidays as a reason not to have anymore well........................

idobelieveinfairies · 23/03/2011 13:04

For me it hasn't gone away (6 years since sterilisation) i don't think it ever will, i just love being pregnant and having newborns around me .

Good luck!

kitkat1000 · 24/03/2011 19:00

if you read my thread hollyfort i said "most people i know who have 3 kids are skint and have stressful lives and never go on holidays! (i'm sure not all though!)." Of course people can have holidays - i just said people i know struggled. My brothers both have great jobs and 3 kids and struggle. If you desperately want 3 kids then of course you should go for it. 3 kids would have caused financial worries for us as a family and not allowed us to do all the things we want to do with our daughters - i've now realised giving everything i can to 2 kids is more important than the whole family struggling to bring up 3 (just cause i wanted another) and not giving them the best of everything - university, hobbies etc.

buttonmoon78 · 28/03/2011 07:25

Currently pg with #4. For us 2 worked. 3 didn't. Hoping 4 will! TBH, I'm getting my tubes tied after this one. Like Fairies, this feeling won't ever go away for me but I think 4 is my limit and I find pg increasingly troublesome so although my emotions would sway me into a 5th, logically it would be a baaaad idea.

I think you need to listen to your DH and really talk about it with him. If you both decide no then do give yourself time to grieve for the baby you're not going to have. It can be quite a killer. I know - I grieved for 7 years before we actually decided to have #3

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Original poster

2sons1hubby · 28/03/2011 13:57

Thanks Buttonmoon.
I do feel really sad that it's not going to happen. And I think it will take some time to improve.
x

OP posts:

ugglyduckling · 25/04/2011 22:27

i would love to have number 3 but like you DP is not keen. i have 2 DD they are fantastic but i hanker after a boy. i know there is never any gaurentees but there is just something inside which makes me feel incomplete. DD number2 is only 4months old and the sleepless nights and full time work still havent put me off. I long for one more. DP has 2 children from aprevious relationship who stay with us very regulally so one more for us would make 5 kids and 2 adults! to me it just sounds wonderfull but my DP thinks i live in a dream world. he thinks i should be satisfied with what i have? maybe he is right? maybe with time this feeling inside will go? or maybe i can convince him!!!!! any advice?

whatcakeydid · 01/05/2011 19:49

i'm nt sure but i get the feeling that if i wait for a bit, there might be a chance of convincing DH when the time is right to try for no 3. Maybe if you wait (your DD2 is only 4 mnths) his opinion might change?

hmmmtricky · 17/05/2011 09:49

Hello - I'm in the same position. Have two already - DS 3 and 2 months, DD 21 months and really want a third. I am "lucky" to have one of each so I'm not hankering after a boy or girl in particular - just another child - I love babies/toddlers/children but I love the idea of a larger grown-up family too. So it's not just because my youngest is at the end of the baby stage. I'm one of three and think two seems a bit neat and small. Just incredibly broody really. Was crying all night on Thursday when DH said he really thought it wasn't right for us to have a third. Silly eh? The thing is, I DO appreciate how lucky I am to have two happy healthy children and also know I am far far more fortunate than lots of couples but it doesn't stop you wanting another one, does it? Am hoping my DH comes round. In the process of moving house at the moment too and I think he might be worried about too much stress at once. Also, the 16 month age gaps between number 1 and 2 wasn't the easiest way to do it I suppose.

Let us know if any DPs change their mind! Ugglyduckling - I agree with whatcakeydid - as your DD2 is only 4 months there is definitely a good chance your DH will come round! Hope so anyway.

lovechoc · 05/07/2011 21:13

I've been broody on and off since DS2 came along, and DH is dead set against having any more. I've accepted his decision and know deep down that having any more would be daft in this financial climate! It's going to be hard long-term raising two children, let alone struggling with three or more.

Men tend to think logically about these matters, they don't let emotion get in the way.

andypandypuddle · 20/09/2011 16:25

I have just had no.5 and he is 5 weeks - I am already broody for another! However, I have now accepted that, whilst I'm sure I will continue to feel like this for quite some years (I am 34) - we are almost over our limit in time, energy, finance etc and I must prioritise the children we already have. Reading these boards, many many women feel permanently broody.. I guess we just have to accept it and move on to enjoying the 'next phase' as children grow up..

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