Advice on having another baby when mine is 2

[AdiVic]

Hello

I have heard that bringing another baby into the family when the first is around 2yo is, to them the equivelent of loosing a loved one???? Is this a load of rubbish?

I want a second, but I dont' want to cause pain to my first, or not give her the time she needs. I would rather have another before DD is 2. I had my 1st in January this year.

When is the best age to inflict a sibling on a child? (or am i being soft)

I wasn't too sure where to post this, I think a mum who has a few children would be quite an expert - hence in larger family section.

Not sure inflict is a the word I would choose when thinking of adding to my family (lol). I have had small gaps and largers gaps. Larger gaps are def easier on parents in my experience, found small gap hard work. But its up to you and your family and what works for you.

There are pluses and minuses at every gap - don't dwell on it, just make sure you and dh/dp are ready and involve your dd nearer the time the arrival is due.

I have 5 (soon to be 6) children and my first 4 all have an approx gap of 2 years. Very hard work in the early years but it's been so worth it, my 2 boys would be lost without each other.

My children (my youngest is 2) are all so excited about their baby brother who all being well will be joining us in December.

None of my children have ever felt that having a brother or sister was a sad occasion or like they'd lost a loved one !
Far far from it, we have always kept time aside for the older children when a new baby has arrived, fairly easy in the first few months when baby sleeps a lot anyway. Then i've always involved the older children in whats happening with the baby.
Everyones family works differently ofcourse but for ours the 2 year age gap (despite the hard early years) has been great and definately worth it. The kids wouldn't be without each other either and love being at the same school together too which is lovely

Everyones experience is different. I have four kids, my age gap is approx 3 yrs between them.

Do not let what other people say put you off. Do not look back either, wishing you had gone for another one.

You willl be okay AdiVic

All the best!!!!!

I had 15 months between my first two, a 3 year gap to the second and exactly 2 years between number 3 and 4. Every one has pros and cons - and none has been a gap I wouldn't do again.....

Good luck!

I have exactly 2 yrs between 1 and 2 (birthdays a couple of days apart) and 2 yrs 2 months between 2 and 3. It is what it is. They have lots of fun, fight, get jealous, play. It's hard work. I really wouldn't worry about the age gap. Every age gap has its own hardships!

DD1 was hugely jealous when DD2 was born. Neither of them had any problems when DS was born. FWIW, my neice was 4 when my nephew was born and she was hugely jealous too. I think any first child at any age will be jealous when a sibling is born.

And the advantage is that at such a young age they soon forget.

If you do go for it, I'd say encourage them to interact from day 1: "Your baby brother likes holding your finger" sort of comments.

I have a cherished memory of DD1 (age 22m) holding a big, fluffy teddy as big as her baby sister saying, "Now I'm playing with the teddy. Now you can play with it. [plonks teddy on top of 1m old baby] Now I'm going to play with it again."

You do have to be quite chilled about that sort of thing with that age gap, I think, or they feel your nervousness and start to resent the LO.

I have gaps of 18 months, 30 months and 22 months between my four. My favourite gap is the 18 month one, Dd1 and 2 are so close, yes they fight but they also play well and would be lost without each other. The 30 month gap seems huge developmentally but both big ones very good with their little sister. They all adore DS never had jealousy issues, DD3 is very jealous but of the older 2 not DS.