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Original poster

3rd child at 37?

55 replies

kingfix · 17/08/2010 10:27

After my 2nd miscarriage last month I have lost all confidence in our once firm plan to have a 3rd child. I suddenly feel too old and too tired (I know many women my age are full of beans, but I am not).

But then I feel very sad at the thought of not having any more too.

So have any of you had 3 or more children in your late 30s?
I'd really like to hear from any who are a bit further down the road: I think I can more or less cope with the baby stage now but will I have the energy for 3 teenagers in my 50s?

or just tell me a smutty joke to cheer me up!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Ponders · 17/08/2010 10:32

Sorry about your miscarriage

But don't give up yet! I had a 3rd at 37, & a 4th after that & honestly, having teenagers around in your 50s is fantastic for stopping you really getting old & set in your ways, they just won't let you!

Good luck

Ponders · 17/08/2010 10:32

(& I have never been full of beans )

Original poster

kingfix · 17/08/2010 10:54

Wow, Ponders, that is a very nice story, thanks.

OP posts:

SwansEatQuince · 17/08/2010 11:03

I had my dd at 36 then ds2 at 47 - many miscarriages in between.

I'm 50 now and you somehow find the energy to play and chase after them etc but truthfully the last pregnancy and birth was a lot easier than the first two.

welshandproud · 17/08/2010 11:27

DD1 aged 31, DD2 aged 40, DS1 aged 41 DS2 aged 42

I know i'm one of the really really lucky ones to have had 3 healthy babies in my 30s. So Sorry to hear about your MCs but at 37 i dont think i could have given up quite yet.

welshandproud · 17/08/2010 11:28

sorry meant 40s!

Poshpaws · 17/08/2010 11:35

Sorry to hear about your babies.

I had my 3rd at 37. I was tired anyway, due to the other two(22mths and 5.5 yrs at the time).

DS3 is now 3 and I don't regret it for a moment.

Good luck with whatever decision you make

Carikube · 17/08/2010 11:40

Had DD1 at 35, DD2 at 36 and have just turned 37 and am considering DC3, though having seen that DH isn't quite as helpful as I would have hoped, am wondering whether DC3 would be a step too far as I feel quite tired...

[and I can't remember any smutty jokes atm]

orangina · 17/08/2010 11:48

I had dd at 37 and ds at 39. I'm knackered now (they are 3 and 5), but I think that sort of comes with the (toddler) territory (though suspect if I was 10 years younger, I would be less knackered, but that also comes with the territory, iyswim....

I felt VERY broody after ds and decided I would give myself until I was 43 to decide about #3. As it happened, it wore off quite quickly (!), and I'm more than happy with sticking at 2.

I think if you are up to trying again, you are certainly not too old.....

Good luck!

Original poster

kingfix · 17/08/2010 12:50

This is all very encouraging, thank you all!

Swans I admire you for keeping on going though many mcs. To a large extent it's the fear of another one that's putting me off trying again.

Perhaps I won't take the baby clothes to the charity shop for another few months, then.

OP posts:

pagwatch · 17/08/2010 12:55

I had DS1 when I was 32, Ds2 at 35. Then DS2 developed serious problems and I never thought I would have another child - I was tired and quite sad.
then life picked up a bit and DH and I suddenly thought we would have one last try. Six months to conceive or he would have the snip.

I got pregnant imediately which, at 40 was surprising but great. I had DD at 41.

Best thing we ever did and we feel very lucky. I am glad that, even though our circumstances are not the same as yours, we took a little time andthen tried when it felt right. All though I was very old

pagwatch · 17/08/2010 12:57

And Kingfix I am nearly 49 - 50 next year. I have DS1 who is 17, DS2 who is 13 ( with sn) and DD who is 7 and just bloody knackering.

But life is great

I figure I am older but I am far better at the strategy, negotiation and tactics part of parenting....

Original poster

kingfix · 17/08/2010 13:34

pagwatch, yes the years have brought me a certain degree of low cunning at least.

OP posts:

pagwatch · 17/08/2010 13:36

ROFL
Low cunning is a so much better way to describe it

MrsGokWan · 17/08/2010 14:51

I had my first at 37 after 5 years of trying and many miscarriages and my 2nd at 40 after 2 1/2 years of medical help and miscarriages and my 3rd at 43 after being told I wouldn't have any more :) , no miscarriages and I didn't realise I was pregnant for a couple of months.

Yes I get tired but it is getting easier as they get older.

wahwahwah · 17/08/2010 14:53

My mum had 5 by 37!

dottyaboutstripes · 17/08/2010 16:52

I had my 5th at 37 and my 6th at 39. I don't feel old at all and now we are having fun ttc lucky number 7 - we are both 40 :o

Good luck if you decide to take the plunge!

MUM2BLESS · 18/08/2010 08:23

Good morning Kingfix

Sorry to hear that you had a miscarriage, recently.

DONT GIVE UP THOUGH!

I Had my last child at 39 years old.

My kids are now 5, 9 , 11 and 14. I am 45 years and 6 months old. Well just over that. Usually you find children adding the extras to their ages

I also lost a baby before my daughter (9) was born. She would have been 10 in November. I did not wait too long as you can see before trying again. It made me feel better having another girl. My now daughter never took the place of the one I lost but it made it easier.

Just rest and have a think about what you would like to do. I know losing a baby is not easy.

Take one day at a time, do not rush into what may happen next year.

I am thinking of you and trust that all with be well if you decide to go again. I get the feeling that you may do that.

Its a personal decision that you and your partner need to make....

Original poster

kingfix · 18/08/2010 21:22

thanks again everyone. I had one of those lovley days with the children today, which reminded me that I am very lucky already.

I think I'll take a bit more time to mourn the miscarriage this time - last time I just tried to get pregnant again immediately - and see where we are when I feel a bit less tearful.

Very happy to know that you are all out there enjoying your families too.

Right, wine...

OP posts:

Original poster

kingfix · 13/09/2010 12:56

In case you want an update - we decided to go for it and yippee! a positive pg test today. I'm unsuccessfully trying to squash my excitement as there is a long way to go. But, yay!

OP posts:

bosch · 13/09/2010 13:00

Was just about to post about my 3 ds's (and two m/c) when I saw your last post - way hey! Congrats and best wishes.

(for what it's worth, my ds1 is 9 today! my ds3 is 4 next month and I'm 43. when you get tired, believe me, you will get over it!)

bigchris · 13/09/2010 13:10

Wow well done you! All the best xxx

mollymax · 13/09/2010 13:15

Congratulations.
I was 41 whenn dd3 born, 3 years ago. Also have dd1 and dd2 who are 9 and 11.
Dd3 certainly keeps me young.

Original poster

kingfix · 13/09/2010 13:49

Thank you! (trying not to count chickens)

OP posts:

PacificDogwood · 13/09/2010 20:53

Congrats !

And here I was going to offer you encouragement with my story: I had my first at 37 (after 4 MMCs) and am currently holding DS4 6 months - I am 44. And knackered. But delighted about why I am knackered...

Very best of luck with your pregnancy.

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