3rd child at 37?

[kingfix]

After my 2nd miscarriage last month I have lost all confidence in our once firm plan to have a 3rd child. I suddenly feel too old and too tired (I know many women my age are full of beans, but I am not).

But then I feel very sad at the thought of not having any more too.

So have any of you had 3 or more children in your late 30s?
I'd really like to hear from any who are a bit further down the road: I think I can more or less cope with the baby stage now but will I have the energy for 3 teenagers in my 50s?

or just tell me a smutty joke to cheer me up!

I can’t believe you got back to me! Thanks so much. I suppose part of me is wondering if I’m going for a third because I’d like a girl (I have 2 boys now!) I know there’s no guarantee and I feel bad for even saying it but I’d like to see what being a girl mum is like. Obviously if we went again and had a boy, I’d love him with all my heart. I suppose I always pictured having 3 kids but now I’ve 2, I can’t imagine coping with 3. I’m always tired, my 11month just wants to be on me all night and my 2.5 year old won’t eat a vegetable at the moment just pasta!! But I know the years are short and these times will pass. I suppose I worry how I’ll cope with 3 and if I’d find it very stressful too. I’ve a bit of time to think about it because we’d want to wait til my oldest is starting school at 5 so we don’t have to pay for 3 in crèche!! Hmmm ... food for thought!

I just love the idea of a big bustling, chaotic, love filled family! My godmother has 5kids and when we’d call over there’d be someone crying, someone fighting, something burning, a dog barking, but everyone laughing! Then when we went home to my quiet house (3kids but my brother had moved away) it just seemed a bit quiet!!

I felt the same about a busy house - I was an only and my best friend one of three.
The little kid years were amazing but totally overwhelming for me. Really joyful and great memories - but the photos show a very messy house and we were both tired tired tired.
There were times I felt I wasn't coping but I wish I could go back and give myself some slack.

I liked talking to people who'd grown up in big families about what they had liked and not liked to reassure myself that it's nice for the children as well as for me.

It sounds like you've got a bit of time to make your choice. Definitely worth thinking about the chance of twins - I'm not the only person whose third was two!

@kingfix I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread. We had fertility issues conceiving DD who I had at 37 after two rounds of ICSI,

In the summer we decided to TTC, guessing that fate would probably decide we will only have one. Well, I conceived naturally straightaway and then I had the scan- twins! I’m due in May.

I’m really pleased you came back to update us as I was very anxious about our lives being utter chaos but to hear that it’s all worth it in the end and you wouldn’t change it is exactly what I had been hoping for. And I l’m glad you are getting some decent sleep too.

First at 36, 2nd 39, wee surprise at 40. I don't feel old. But I do feel too old fir a 4th.

I was 40 when I had our third. Feel I have less enthusiasm for playing on the floor (and am more creaky when I have to get up from it!) but most of it is still amazing all over again. We all adore him.