Inheritance

[FlipFlops4Me]

My MIL has just died and DS and I are the executors of her estate. The estate goes 50:50 to DH and DS (our only child). There will be about £85k cash and the proceeds of sale of a nice semi-det bungalow with gardens, garage etc.

DS and DIL very much want to let the property. We don't. DH and I had always said that we would use our share of the estate to bring our own house fully up to spec (will cost a good £65k) and to have a nice cushion. We are retired, DH is housebound and I am his carer. DS says we can have some of his share of the cash to put towards house repairs so that they get done anyway.

However DH pointed out to me, quite rightly, that if we let the house then he will get share of rent but he doesn't have a great life expectancy so realistically he will not exactly get the benefit of the investment. I see his point of view totally.

DS says he doesn't want a lump sum sitting in the bank when he could have a share of an investment property. I feel he's being selfish but I see where he's coming from.

If it comes to it, can I force a sale. The will states the assets should be sold and funds distributed but reserves power to delay sale if the executors wish. One does wish, one doesn't!

Anyone got any advice? I don't want to fall out with my DS over money but DH and I had so counted on this money to make our old age more comfortable.

If he bides his time by another 12 - 18months he should be able to get a mortgage, but only for a house he lives in. If he puts the money in various savings accounts, he'll be ready to pounce... hopefully he'll have a bit of a wait on your money.

moneysaving expert is a good place to look at long term fixed rate savings accounts.

I'm an IFA and i'd not be investing it for him!

If he cannot buy your DH’s share of bungalow and you don’t want to let the property then it has to be sold, you shouldn’t have to justify your reasons for this. Having a rental property doesn’t bring in a lot of money after expenses, repairs, accountancy, insurance etc. When my father died, my brother wanted to keep the house, we agreed on half of the value of the house each and he paid half of that in one amount and then to pay the balance at £1,000 per month until the whole amount is paid. We have 50/50 share of the house until he has paid, as agreed with our Solicitor who recommended a document being drawn up.

I have had a chat with the solicitor who will be dealing with the Probate. She has confirmed that unless both of us want to delay the sale the property must be sold and the funds distributed. So although he won't like it one bit, he's going to have to accept the fact that it's being sold.

The solicitor totally agreed that a long term investment for a 74 year old in dodgy health is a daft idea. And we both agreed that DS will just have to wait a while and he'll get this place! And in the meantime, he must invest his money elsewhere until he has accounts and can get a mortgage.

I wouldn't want the limited time i have left with my husband spent managing a massive renovation project.

Selling bungalow is by far best way to approach. If son then wants to invest his share of proceeds then all power to him. At your life position an investment property is going to cause you headaches.

What about your DH keeping all the cash, DS then getting a larger proportion of the house, to reflect he isn't getting a share of the £85k cash, and DS moving in to the bungalow, paying a 'rent' to DH for the proportion he owns, which in effect would be paying DH's share of the property in instalments. I would assume that was significantly less than DS is paying in rent at the moment. DS would then be able to save towards a BTL if he wanted to, with the money he is saving.

The situation is more complicated, but you get the money you need to do your own property, plus an income for a period of time, which may come in useful in the future

IT does get messier this way, but could that work as a compromise?

So with a valuation of approx 300 k and cash of £85
I recall a 50% share will be reduced by 5% because a 50% scare is less desirable but will check on that.
He might be £100 k short of .
Could you keep the cash and your son live in the house.
How much is his rent at the moment.

I offered that they could live in the bungalow and got turned down flat. I told him that I'd taken legal advice and the position is that unless DH agrees to defer a sale, the property must be sold. I said that we wanted to sell.

He absolutely lost the plot, effing and blinding and calling me every name under the sun. He finally stomped out saying that after the funeral I needn't expect to see him again. He very much reminded me of how he was when he was 2 having a tantrum!

All I can think is that he has shown me that his parents' comfort and safe, secure housing is not his priority by a long shot. Shit happens.

They just left - I am in shock I think. He was so very angry; red faced and furious. Mainly because I wouldn't back down I think, but I am looking out for my DH here and I will make sure he has all he needs to be comfortable for the rest of his life.

I’m sorry your DS was so unreasonable. Money does crazy things to some people. Stick to your guns. I hope it works out well in the end.

I’m so sorry, but you can’t please everyone, especially where money is concerned. We had a problem with my sister in law, my brother had died previously so my Dad left money to the grandchildren and to sister in law. She would have preferred all the money go to her, so she could distribute to her DC. It was only £15,000.

I know. Most men in their 30's inheriting £180k from their grandmothers, would be thrilled to bits. Not pissed off because it's not going to be more in the long run! I pointed out that a long term investment wasn't viable for DH and I but he didn't care at all, just said it was for him. (Expletives deleted).

And he's angry at how much we plan on spending on this house, although it will be his come the day. I dunno - I've never been sworn at like that before. It's very sad.

Fuff him, leave your share of the house to charity, if he wants to be an arse about things, that will teach him.

Jesus! Your son sounds deluded! He sounds greedy and spoiled. Most people would be over the moon with a £1000 legacy these days. Stick to your guns.

I know. He does sound greedy and spoiled and I am so disillusioned. I'm hoping that when he's had a weekend to think about things, he might begin to see it from our point of view but if not, well, so be it. The share of the estate due to DH is enough to keep him comfortable for the rest of his life, and I am happy about that.

Frankly unless he apologises quite quickly, I'd change my will and leave him nothing at all. Entitled brat.

Believe me, I'm thinking about it. I support a number of charities that would be thrilled to inherit my estate! If he knew how much I pay them each month I think that would probably piss him off too!

The will will envisage that the property be sold, the keeping of the property would need to be by specific agreement. I suggest you get some legal advice

I am fuming for you. He sounds like an entitled, selfish brat. I'd be thinking of changing my will sharpish and would tell him that. I'd also be telling him it is absolutely none of his business what you spend of YOUR money on YOUR house. So sorry you've had to go through that. People can be very disappointing.

I’m so pleased you stood firm OP. It cannot have been easy. You’re DH and you sound like a solid team

I didn't yell, I just took an onslaught of sheer foul mouthed abuse and then told him to leave.

Unless he apologises for his language and that tirade, I don't think I want him back in the house. It really was unprecedented and it was very personal.

I'm still stunned by it.

Very sorry OP.

Your DS is very short-sighted, leaving aside his rudeness. I was only reading today about how the territory for small-scale landlords is difficult and becoming more so.

Your son sounds appalling.

You could let him know he might not inherit your house - you could need to spend it all on medical or care home costs. Your quality of life, especially at your ages is paramount.

He has shown exactly why you should not be in business with him. Sell the house and he can buy himself a flat surely?

If he wants an investment then putting his £180k into a stock market tracker would give better returns than property anyway.

Wow! He's shown a very ugly side of himself.
He's extremely privileged to get this windfall, and he's acting like you are trying to scam him.
A working man in his 30s who can't get a BTL mortgage with that kind of L2V? Very suspect. I wonder what's going on there?

Yuk :(

that sounds horribly upsetting

you Deserve to be comfortable and stress free, hold your ground

How incredibly selfish of your son - I'm sorry OP, you must be devastated. I can't believe he's ignoring the fact that you and your husband need to prioritise your comfort and health given your ages and your husband's condition.

Please don't back down, you have the right to sell the house and use the money for your own needs. Unfortunately, this may irrevocably damage your relationship with your son, but it's because of his unreasonable behaviour.

FWIW I always think inheritance skipping a generation is weird, your MIL should have left everything to your husband.