I am still in shock. I have to keep reminding myself it’s real! The day after my 40th birthday (I wasn’t about to ruin my birthday with yet another blank test!), and after two solid years of trying, with low amh and fsh results, doctors giving us the blank stare of unexplained infertility (apart from the “you’re getting old” spiel) and one failed round of IVF with only two embryos left in the freezer, I took a test on my only child’s first day of school - just so I could get on with life and stop hoping lol - I stared at the test as a line appeared immediately.
The irony? This was the month I stopped taking my supplements - I hadn’t had acupuncture for two months after my failed transfer, I’d been absolutely smashing it at the gym and I went on holiday and drank 2-4-1 cocktails for 3 days straight.
up until this month I had been so stressed, so down, I had been searching these forums for any sign it might happen, for stories of hope. I honestly thought I’d never see those two lines again after 24 blank tests. I can’t believe it!
I just want to share because I hope this might help someone. If you’ve been struggling with unexplained infertility, had failed IVF, approaching or around 40 - it can still happen. No previous month’s outcome will dictate the next. For as long as you are ovulating - there is always hope. Our Bodies can let us down, but they can also be full of surprises.
I just have to hope this little one sticks now. But at least I know I CAN still get pregnant!
I threw all the rules out the window this month but I think why it happened now is two fold - I was relaxed and having fun rather than restricting everything and focusing only on the ivf. I thought this month would be a write off so I didn’t put any amount of hope or pressure on it.
however, I don’t think it’s as simple as saying - just stop trying and relax! If I rewind three months, I was preparing for my FET IVF Cycle - no alcohol, weekly acupuncture, healthy diet with lots of veg and protein. Lots of sleep. So maybe that’s what set me up for this months success. Who bloody knows!
Anyway, for anyone struggling to conceive, I hope this only brings you hope. I don’t mean it as a brag - I’m writing this for the version of me who searches for hopeful stories in the middle of the night worrying when or if it’s going to happen.
I’ll have a 5.5 age gap between my babies if this one sticks - not what I planned originally lol but this is what was meant for me and I know it will be perfect.
However I also feel like in the two long years of struggling I accepted fully that it would be the three of us. And the version of life was beautiful too. There are so many beautiful positives of having one child.
sending love to anyone reading this for hope. I hope you get what you are longing for xxx