Azoospermia - Donor Route Support

[Blue234]

Hi everyone!

This thread is dedicated to those of us navigating the azo journey and considering or have chosen the donor route.

I thought it would be great if we could share our experiences, offer support, and help each other through this challenging path.

Looking forward to hearing your stories and supporting one another along the way.

I am happy to start this thread by sharing our story:
-After around 1 year TTC, we were diagnosed with unexplained non-obstructive azoospermia back in March 2024. We were given 30% chances of finding sperm with MTESE but my partner decided he wanted to try all we could before moving to option B.
-We had MTESE done via NHS in August 2024 and unfortunately it was unsuccessful. We had lots of discussion before the surgery and we had agreed that we would good via donor route if the surgery wasn't successful.
-We have now been referred for a NHS funded IVF cycle using sperm donor (funded by us) and currently waiting for the clinic to call us to have implications counselling.
-In the meantime, we are currently in parallel the process of finding a suitable donor.

I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now. On one hand, I’m happy and excited that we still have a chance to become parents and the idea of a future baby brings me so much joy. But on the other hand, there’s still a lingering sadness about what we’re going through, especially when I think about what my partner is facing.

Even though I know it’s not all about genetics, who hasn’t dreamed of having a baby that looks like their partner or a blend of both of us? While I believe I’ve mostly come to terms with this, a part of me still feels a bit heartbroken.

Choosing a donor is challenging. We try not to overthink it and even find moments to joke around while browsing profiles, but there’s so much to consider. One thing that particularly worries me is the possibility of our child wanting to contact the donor when they’re an adult. What if the donor isn’t kind to them? I know this is something far off in the future and out of our control, but it’s been on my mind lately.

Sorry for my long message, I will stop now! But just thought of sharing some of my thoughts to start with!

Looking forward to hear your stories!

@Magix86 @StarJasmine93 looping you into this new thread :)

Hi Natalie, welcome 😊 I'm so sorry to see this, it's such a draining process and it really takes it out of you! My partner tried meds for a few months then had an mtese which was unsuccessful sadly. That was in September. We knew we wanted to proceed with donor sperm if it didn't work and we'd had a lot of conversations about this prior to his surgery. It doesn't make it any easier and I think he's found it difficult with the pace of things moving forwards after his surgery, as it's all been very quick. We have found a donor via our clinic's own sperm bank, and this is funded for our 1 round of nhs treatment, due to start next week.
We had implications counselling which you have to have before proceeding with donor sperm. This was really helpful to consider the decision we've made and any questions we had. My partner has also listened to the male infertility podcast and has joined a WhatsApp group for other men in similar situations. He's found that really helpful to hear from others and navigate the feelings around it all. It's a grieving process and I'm not sure that grief will ever fully be gone. But we're looking to the future and our ultimate aim of having a family - our route to get there will just be a little different to how we initially planned.
This thread here is full of support so please share any more questions you have. Are you going privately for further treatment? The donor conception network is another great resource too.
How many eggs did you get in your collections? Did your clinic offer any info on why the rounds failed? Just wondering if they felt it was likely to be the sperm quality and if they suggested anything else to you, or if they said another mtese would have a similar result etc.

Thank you for sharing.

So we are going to take a break from it for a while and to get some money together for a couple more rounds. We are going to continue with a private clinic.

So the first collection, I collected 17 eggs and the second cycle 8. So the embryogist struggled with the vials from the microtese, but they confirmed that they were good embryos. We have a consultation on 14th to go over everything with them

Hi Natalie, welcome to the group none of us thought we’d be in, but I’ve personally found so helpful the past few months.

For us, we received the news a year ago that my husband has a genetic condition which means he’s never produced sperm so a slightly different starting point. I agree with @Magix86 those forums were very helpful for my husband, and lots and lots of communication between the two of you. Implications counselling is a condition of donor I believe and again for us very useful.

But it’s not something that stops or goes away, very much like grief. Just the other day my husband had a reflection moment, and worries about his bond with our future child. But there is a lot of amazing resources, and these thoughts are outweighed by the love he can’t wait to give.

We also have our Nurse appointment next week and we’re doing donor IUI, so hopefully starting next cycle!

xx

I’m sorry @Nats140 I just read your post in the other thread. I’m really sorry that sounds really hard, and having to consider such a financial implication is just so unfair. Do you have to continue privately? And will you have to have a new egg collection?

It's so difficult. We have found all of the money so far on our own, with no help.

Yes, we have to continue privately. Yes, I will have to have another egg collection too. X

Hi @Nats140, good to see you've joined our thread bit also sorry to see you here xx

Our story:
Been TTC for a little over 2 years but found out quite early on that husband had non obstructive azoospermia. It took us a while (via NHS) to get to the stage where my husband had all his tests to try and figure out "why". We never found that so it's unexplained which I think is what most of us find! He had his MTese in September and it wasn't a success. Similar to @Magix86 we had discussed the donor route in advance of the MTese procedure so by the time we got to the surgery we had already decided. We have accepted that our path to parenthood is just a bit different to the usual case. That's not to say we have fully come to terms with it. Some days are easier than others but we both know we want to be parents and we really want to experience pregnancy and birth and so the donor route feels like the correct route for us.

If I could try and give any advice it would be to talk to people (whether that's friends/family if you are comfortable with that, or us on this thread, or to listen to podcasts... ). The same advice for husbands!! The WhatsApp chat that @Magix86 recommended has been really helpful for my husband. It's set up by Shaun - one of the hosts of the Male Fertility podcast. The QR code to join the WhatsApp should be on page 1 or 2 of this chat.

Hope the above helps and here if you have any other questions or just want to talk. Sending love xx

Hi everyone, how are you all doing?

@Magix86 have you started your meds yet?? Must be soon right?!

@Disco24 did you have your appointment yesterday?

@Blue234 how's it all going on your side?

Update from me... Our donor sperm will arrive at our clinic tomorrow 😊. We also have our nurse appointment next Thursday to discuss the treatment plan and timings. So excited that it's all happening 🙌. Just want to know when we can start.

How's everyone getting on with the healthy lifestyle?? I feel like I'm nailing it in most areas ... High proteins, good fats etc. I'm not drinking... But I can't stop eating sweets 😂😂.

Hey @StarJasmine93 that's awesome news!! Hopefully you'll be able to start pretty soon then 😄 that must feel amazing. I'm guessing they'll confirm next week what day of your cycle you'll start meds and what meds you'll be taking?
I had an appointment today to go through meds and show me how to do my injections etc. I start norethisterone tablets on Thursday, my alarms already set in case I forget ahaha
The nurse really put me at ease and I'm less anxious about something going wrong now 😅
@Disco24 hope things went well for you yesterday!
With the diet- I've managed so much better than I thought I would reducing my caffeine! I'm generally eating healthy and planning more protein, more fish and veg etc. But definitely still have the odd treat here and there so don't feel too bad about the sweets!! We can't be perfect all of the time lol

@Magix86 yes I'm so pleased! They said it could take 8 weeks from us choosing our donor and it's only been like 3.5 weeks so I'm chuffed. I assume they will be telling us when we will start and what meds I'll be taking yes. They actually asked me for the dates of my next couple periods so perhaps they might pull a plan together ahead of the meeting. It's all great progress anyway 😊.

Oh that's exciting that you start so soon! When will you start injections? Is the norethisterone to start your down regulation?

Hi ladies 👋

@StarJasmine93 amazing news that it arrived yesterday! It sounds like it’s all go, how exciting. So next Thursday you find out which meds and your treatment plan? And you’re doing IVF?

Woohoo @Magix86 congratulations on making it to medications! You’re officially starting, so glad they put you at ease I’m still nervous about the needles 😅 so is your next step egg retrieval?

From me, we had our nurse appointment yesterday, BMI is under 30, signed all consent forms and we’re booked in the 27th for my baseline scan and to start clomid, that should be day 2 of my cycle so hoping it plays ball 😂. The aim is first insemination that cycle! Feel equally terrified and excited, but someone has to be in the 15% that succeed right?! 👶💖

Food wise I’ve been pretty good. Seeing my sisters at the weekend for the first time in months so going to enjoy a glass of wine before going back to tee total. I’ve enjoyed the hangover free life it’s got to be said.

@StarJasmine93 our messages crossed! I hope they get the dates and plan together based on your cycles that would be amazing!

@Disco24 @StarJasmine93
Yes so norethisterone is to delay my period so they can time an egg collection for the clinic dates - I'm not sure if it's called down regulation, I'm a bit lost with all the lingo lol!
The injections start on 23rd and first scan on 28th, so looks like I'm following @Disco24 by a day again haha 😀
Egg collection then set for 5th December all being well 🤞🏻
@Disco24 what injections do you take? Clomid is a tablet isn't it? Absolutely enjoy your wine this weekend!! You deserve it 🙌🏻 nothing to say you won't be in that 15%! I'm really rooting for you.
@StarJasmine93 they do seem to be pretty good at planning ahead so hopefully your plan will be all sorted out when u go in.

Oh wow this is crazy! Then your egg collection is down for the 5th, and that’s when they’re predicting my ovulation for insemination. So our cycles will be exactly the same 😂 After all the time and changes it’s crazy how we aligned. Hoping it’ll fly by for us both 💖

Yeah Clomid is a tablet, and I’ll do Progesterone pessaries. My trigger shot is an injection, but I actually have zero room to complain as it’s just one, so do not give me sympathy 😅

@Disco24 great news that the appointment went well 😊. Yes I'm doing IVF... My AMH restricted us getting funding for IUI unfortunately. I have everything crossed for you that IUI works for you!!! Would be amazing for you not to have to go through IVF.

So funny that yours and @Magix86 treatment cycles are exactly the same 😅. Hopefully I'm not too far behind you both 🤞

How's everyone's husband's doing?

@Disco24 I'm laughing out loud at how we've ended up on the exact same dates, after everything we've been through!! How amazing is that tho 🥰
Ahh just the one injection, you'll be fine!
@StarJasmine93 doesn't sound like you'll be far behind at all 😊
My partner goes through phases to be honest but he's not the best at communicating what's on his mind at those points. His most recent concern was whether he'll be able to bond with the baby, and worrying how he'll feel if people make those comments like they do of how the baby looks him etc. I want to do another counselling session with him but he's not keen right now.

It really doesn’t sound like you’ll be far behind at all @StarJasmine93, let us know what the nurse says next week please.

Crazy isn’t it @Magix86, but very happy to be on a similar timeline to you all. Nice to not feel so alone after the past 2 years. And thank you both for your support 💖

Bonding and whether they’ll like my him has come up recently. He’s a little concerned about not knowing or getting answers until they’re here, but his friends (who have children naturally) have been good saying how they felt similar with theirs before they were here.

Seen someone share this last night which I thought was useful to remember, and I often forget, so you may too.

https://www.jenniferrobertson.co/blog/balance-fertility-journey

Hi All!

@StarJasmine93 that's great news! glad to hear to managed to get the sperm much earlier than expected!

@Disco24 @Magix86 glad to hear you treatments plans are progressing and you already have the date for insemination/embryo transfer.

And the most funny part is that I am hopefully also going to join you on the journey :) After quite stressing 2 and half weeks and a lot of chasing, finally the sperm reached our clinic this Monday and I have my nurse appointment booked for next Monday. So @StarJasmine93 we might be almost aligned on dates :)
I am a bit anxious about what the nurse might say on Monday about my treatment but fingers crossed she will put my mind as ease too as @Magix86 said!

Hahaha this is so funny we are all aligning on times.
@Blue234 congrats on the progress!! So good that you have the sperm at your clinic and have your appointment next Monday. It will come around quick. Do let us know how that goes.

As my AMH is low, I think they will opt to put me on a longer protocol to give my body more time to react to the drugs.... Given where my cycles land, I can't see me starting this year 🤔. But just need to see what they say next week I guess!!

My period was a whole 9 days late this cycle!! So frustrating... Not sure if that's a sign of my low AMH or because I'm stressing and putting pressure on my body to "perform". I need to chill out 😂

@Blue234 wow amazing news! Did they give you an idea of what the appointment will cover? Crazy how we’re all coming together, going into 2025 much more positive!

I know you were feeling a bit overwhelmed last week, how are you feeling now?

@StarJasmine93 I am sure it is just the pressure and stress about the process what is delaying your period. I am actually worried that same might happen to me. If my period came when it should, we should be able to start this cycle. However if it comes earlier, my clinic already advised me we would need to wait for the next cycle as otherwise the scans would fall in dates when day are closing due to christmas. So let's see, I am Swiss clock but last month I had some delay and I am sure it is about the stress of this situation.

Also I will be in the long protocol due to the same reason than you, I have low AMH as well. But lets see what they say next week as well.

@Disco24 thanks a lot for asking! I am feeling better, I think it was stress plus hormones that brought me really down. But let's see what they tell me on Monday. They didnt mention what they will cover on Monday, but this is what the appointment note says:
-At this Treatment Planning Appointment, a Fertility Midwife or Nurse will complete a review of your consent forms and ensure you are fully informed and understand your treatment plan. They will answer any questions you have, and update your portal with your treatment plan, as well as create a prescription if your cycle is being supported by medication.

Wow @Blue234 thats great news!! I love how everything is working out for us all around the same time.
You'll have to update us after your appointment and let us know your plan. I find it hard not to stress about all this stuff but I find having dates in my diary helpful, and I look at it as smaller stages to get through instead of the thing as a whole.
I'm currently wondering whether I should continue to exercise during stims...I don't do too much or that often but do have a couple things booked in already that I'm thinking if I should cancel...

@Blue234 do you know much about the longer protocol and what it includes? At my last appointment, the doctor mentioned putting me on the pill again... I think this was to maybe control my cycle and timings.

Everything you are saying sounds the same as what I've heard and worked out... If I'm on a long protocol, given I'm currently day 3 of a cycle, my next cycle doesn't start until early December and then they'll be closed for Christmas so will probably be January before we start.

Good to hear you are feeling a bit brighter too ❤️. This journey is a complete rollercoaster 😬.

@Disco24 regarding exercise... I think it's still okay to do some moderate exercise. Like I wouldn't be running marathons or doing an intense weight session but keeping your body moving is probably not the worst thing.

@StarJasmine93 they sent me some time ago a leaflet on how the long protocol works but will keep you posted after my appointment. According to the leaflet, you start meds on day 21st of the cycle and you inject something called bureselin during 2-3weeks. Then you have a scan to confirm whether downregulation was achieved. If so, then you move to stimulation, which lasts around 2 weeks followed by the egg retrieval.
This is all I know for now, but I guess this might be tailored to each individual or maybe it differs depending on the clinic.

@Magix86 I will ask about exercising in my appointment, but i believe it should be fine as long as you dont train as crazy if you are not used to. I guess when you have to be more mindful about exercise is after transfer.

Thanks @Blue234 !
I don't know if I was just overthinking things but I didn't want to exercise while on stims, before my egg collection, in case I somehow cause any follicles to rupture??! I don't how easy it is to do that or it's even a thing 😅 just don't want to lose any possible eggs.
I'd kind of like to stay at home wrapped in bubble wrap for the next few weeks but know I also need a normal life and continue doing things I enjoy!
You can worry about everything little thing but you'll never know the 'what ifs' will you, and I guess what will be will be