Azoospermia - Donor Route Support

[Blue234]

Hi everyone!

This thread is dedicated to those of us navigating the azo journey and considering or have chosen the donor route.

I thought it would be great if we could share our experiences, offer support, and help each other through this challenging path.

Looking forward to hearing your stories and supporting one another along the way.

I am happy to start this thread by sharing our story:
-After around 1 year TTC, we were diagnosed with unexplained non-obstructive azoospermia back in March 2024. We were given 30% chances of finding sperm with MTESE but my partner decided he wanted to try all we could before moving to option B.
-We had MTESE done via NHS in August 2024 and unfortunately it was unsuccessful. We had lots of discussion before the surgery and we had agreed that we would good via donor route if the surgery wasn't successful.
-We have now been referred for a NHS funded IVF cycle using sperm donor (funded by us) and currently waiting for the clinic to call us to have implications counselling.
-In the meantime, we are currently in parallel the process of finding a suitable donor.

I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now. On one hand, I’m happy and excited that we still have a chance to become parents and the idea of a future baby brings me so much joy. But on the other hand, there’s still a lingering sadness about what we’re going through, especially when I think about what my partner is facing.

Even though I know it’s not all about genetics, who hasn’t dreamed of having a baby that looks like their partner or a blend of both of us? While I believe I’ve mostly come to terms with this, a part of me still feels a bit heartbroken.

Choosing a donor is challenging. We try not to overthink it and even find moments to joke around while browsing profiles, but there’s so much to consider. One thing that particularly worries me is the possibility of our child wanting to contact the donor when they’re an adult. What if the donor isn’t kind to them? I know this is something far off in the future and out of our control, but it’s been on my mind lately.

Sorry for my long message, I will stop now! But just thought of sharing some of my thoughts to start with!

Looking forward to hear your stories!

@Magix86 @StarJasmine93 looping you into this new thread :)

Our messages crossed over, sorry! Haha yes, exactly the same with the height. My partner is 6ft 3 so we said a lower limit of 6foot but again I'm wondering if it's really that important when everything else fits. The ones we like are 5ft 10

Yeah and my FSH is 11 🙄 @Magix86

Thanks for thinking of all of these things for me xx

@Magix86 oops and again haha!

I think the average male height in the UK is 5'9!

Only you guys can decide what's right for you though xx

10 donors is great, and lovely to hear there’s two you love.

Funnily we had the opposite conversation, my partner is only 5ft 7 so he was like ‘go tall’. I said we’d be like Elf walking down the street with our child as I’m only 5ft 3 😂

@Disco24 that's really made me chuckle lol 😂 it's so funny what leads to our decisions isn't it.
I'm fully expecting more dilemmas once we get to see cmv positive donors. If there were 10 for the negative ones I'd imagine we could be looking at a much bigger number now! Will see what happens, the clinic haven't responded yet

Yeah do let us know when the clinic reply! In all honesty it’s so difficult with nature vs nurture. Some genes can skip a generation, you don’t know how much they’ll inherit of you and what those things together will look like. The best you can do is go on the things you don’t want to compromise on and gut feeling 💖

Oh my gosh. They've sent us a further 6 options today and honestly I'm close to tears! I feel like we definitely have our one in this selection 😊
The clinic said they've actually had a meeting to discuss stopping screening for CMV status as the risk is so small and they haven't ever found it to be an issue. She hoped that would reassure us if we end up choosing a CMV positive donor

Aww that's such great news!! So pleased for you @Magix86. How exciting.

Did they reach the 6 ft threshold? 🤣.

My clinic doesn't worry about CMV because the risk is so small. I'm going into this without knowing my status as they've said it's absolutely fine to do.

@StarJasmine93 yes!! 🤣 we have a 6ft, 6ft1 and also 6ft2 lol!!
It's good to know you've been given the same info about CMV status. It really doesn't sound like it's as important as I first thought.

Yayy@Magix86 so happy you feel like you have a good option, and of the right heights 😂

I agree with CMV, I was tested but my lab didn’t seem too bothered. The video with Emma the Embryologist about Donor she also says the same thing so it feels like the conversation there is shifting.

Hey Ladies!
Sorry but I didnt get any notification for your last messages, so I've just seen them by chance!
@Magix86 so glad to hear you have been given more options and you are quite keen on some of them. Thats amazing news!

The height point also was a problem for us! In the end, we chose a donor a bit shorter than my husband but at least taller than me. As you all said genes are a bit of a lottery! But I wasnt keen on a donor shorter than me.

On a second note I haven't been given very good news in the last days. I got the results from AMH and it has declined quite a lot since my previous test and it wasn't great already (@StarJasmine93 you are not alone here). So now it is close to be considered low...
Also when I was signing the consent forms for my IVF cycle I noticed that my treatment is set as IVF Long Protocol. I have contacted the clinic and they said that indeed the doctors recommended to follow the long protocol. I have queried them on the reason behind and I am still awaiting their response, but l guess might be due to my borderline AMH :( From what I have read so far this means it will take up to 6 weeks for egg retrieval rather than 2 weeks, plus it requires more hormonal medication.

I am feeling a bit negative about these news to be honest. Looks like everything will take longer plus might be more challenging than expected. I was quite hopefully we might be able to have at least egg retrieval before Christmas but I dont think this will be the case anymore...

I know I should be focusing on the ultimate goal rather than the timelines, but this journey is just feeling so long and we haven't even started :(

Awww @Blue234 I'm so sorry!! I know exactly how you feel. I was probably the lowest I've been throughout this whole journey when I got the news last week about my AMH.

However, seeing the clinic today has made me feel so much better. I have low AMH but my doctor says I've still got as much chance as anyone else. However, he's said that we should opt for IVF now instead of IUI and so we will be trying to apply for funding under our new ICB. The number of eggs we collect will probably be single figures but as I'm early 30s, he says the quality will be good which is really important.

He mentioned that I'll likely need higher dosage etc but I'm at the point now where I'll do anything to get going with this process now. He thinks it will be quite tight for treatment this year now so maybe a January start for us 😐. We will see...
I'm going to push as much as I can.

Just praying we get funding!

Sending you lots of hugs ❤️❤️❤️

@StarJasmine93 thanks a lot for your message♥️

I am very glad to hear that you are feeling better after discussing with doctors and figuring out your options. Definitely your age is on your side, which is great news! This is also where my concerns are, I am not as young as you :( so lets say what doctors tell me.

Keeping finger crossed for your IVF funding to be approved soon!🙏

@Magix86@Disco24 cant stop laughing about your comment on you looking like elfs next to your kid 😂😂 you made my day! This reminded me of when I was only looking for cute baby pictures when I started looking at donor profiles, even if they didnt share any features with us😂I think we should be able to write a book on how to go through this process with a bit of sense of humour😂🫶

@Blue234 I’m glad I could offer some humour especially with your most recent news. I’m sorry you got that news, and finding out it would take longer. I’ve never heard of the long protocol before! Hopefully they can get it started asap if that’s the case. We’re here for you throughout it all regardless 💖 what’s your next step?

@StarJasmine93 I’m so glad your appointment went well!! Sounds like you have a good plan in place, and I can see why starting with IVF makes sense in this scenario. Higher chances too!

I had my HyCoSy Friday. I took pain relief before and it was no where near as bad as friends / the internet had made out to me! A little period pain feeling but all good, just stayed on Ibruprofen the rest of the day. The Doctor was really happy and decided to just give us our IUI protocol there and then! So now we’re just awaiting the nurse to call to kick us off and pick up medication and we can start. That could be 4-8 weeks depending on space at the hospital, but I’m going to call today and see when the next appointment is. In January it’s 2 years since we started this journey so it would be nice to be started by then.

@Blue234 when do you next get to speak to the doctor? Is long protocol the one where they give you the pill as part of the down reg? Keeping everything crossed for you. I'm totally focused on egg quality now so making sure I take all the right vitamins and eating well. Have you heard of the egg and sperm salad? Lol.

Have you heard of Melanie Brown? She's a big name in fertility nutrition. If you haven't listened to this, I would recommend https://open.spotify.com/episode/1Huyupx3sRDm9fKrQEZLcb?si=4JghL3CYTM6eMYO-jofgjA

@Disco24 so pleased to hear that your HyCoSy went well and not too painful!!! I think I got unlucky because I found it very unpleasant.

That is so exciting that you will be starting soon!! So great ☺️. Are you doing medicated IUI then? What sort of meds do you take for that then if you don't mind me asking? Is it to kick start your ovaries or?

🤣reading my message back and sorry for the million questions

@Disco24 thanks a lot for your message! Glad to hear that Hycosy went better than expected. Also great news that you were given the IUI protocol already. Keeping fingers for you to get an appointment asap.

My next step is to get the genetic matching test with donor(hopefully by the end of next week). If hopefully results come back ok, then we would next to send the straws to the clinic and once they receive them, we will need to book a nurse appointment and then hopefully we should be able to start. So lets see how quick things move on. Was hoping to start in November but lets see!

@StarJasmine93 yeah the long protocol includes a phase called down-regulation before ovarian stimulation.

Haven't heard about the egg and sperm salad. What is it?

In fact you are very right about the egg quality, I should be focusing on that if thats something I can influence (given that AMH thingy doesnt have any solution...) Will definitely have a look at the podcast you shared. Thanks for sharing!

Hey everyone, so much to catch up on! @Blue234 I also missed some notifications before but not sure why!

In terms of choosing a donor we've actually narrowed it down to 2 (and both are shorter than we originally said we wanted 😆 - but both taller than me). We were about to sit and sign the form for our chosen one last night and then watched the programme 'born from the same stranger' and it's made me hesitant to confirm our choice and I now have more questions than I did before, including the age of the donor. It's so hard to choose! We've been ruling out medical conditions, profiles that didn't have much information, certain eye colours etc. We know there won't be a 'perfect' match but I really wish we could piece together 3 donors we like - one for the height, one for the pen profile and one for the good medical history 🫠 I have no idea how to move on from feeling this stuck and confused.

@Blue234 I'm so sorry about the news you've had, that must have been so difficult for you. It is good that you have a plan though, and I'm sure the 4 weeks extra will fly by 😊 I felt the same being told my partner would have 3 months of medication before his mtese but then the time went really quickly and I'm now glad it was the right choice to try everything we could for him.
From everything I've read it's definitely quality over quantity.

@Disco24 I'm so happy your HyCoSy went well and you have your treatment plan already! Looks like things are going to move quite soon for you.

@StarJasmine93 also really happy to see you had a positive appointment ☺️ I can see it makes sense to go for ivf rather than iui and you'd also hopefully have some embryos to freeze for future rounds too.

I love that we can all support each other through this, and share some humour along the way, it really helps!

I have a scan at the clinic tomorrow and then we have the doctors consultation next week. I'm a bit scared because I had a bleed the other day on cycle day 10 and I've literally never bled or spotted outside my period before. It's awful timing. But hopefully the scan tomorrow should be able to check this out.

Thank you for sharing that podcast @StarJasmine93 I’ll give it a listen, I’m also watching what I eat now, reduced caffeine and given up drinking (😢😂), so this is perfect timing! You’ve got to tell us about the salad! We got back off honeymoon last week and so I’m 2lbs over for my BMI so really need to shift that before we start which is a little stressful!

Yes, medicated IUI, it’s called ‘Super Ovulation’ on my letter which makes it sound more empowering 😂. So it looks like I’ll get a low dose of Clomid and Progesterone to ensure good follicle growth and lining, then a trigger shot before insemination. She made it sound so simple!

@Blue234 thats not long at all! It seems your appointments are happening quite frequently which is great! Even if it the procedure is longer hopefully just starting will help feel like the journey is still ongoing.

@Magix86 the donor choice element is so tricky. Have you had your implications appointment yet? I found that really useful to discuss these types of questions with her. Good to see you’re having appointments too, do you know what happens after your doctors appointment? It feels like you’re getting closer.

@Blue234 keeping fingers crossed for you on the genetic matching!!

I think I'll be long protocol too then by the sounds of things. It must be a low AMH thing as you say.

Here is the famous egg and sperm salad 🤣. It's essentially a really colourful salad high in natural fats etc https://www.ivfbabble.com/fertility-salad-by-top-nutritionist-melanie-brown/

@Magix86 what's the "born from the same stranger" programme? Where is it shown? I watched that documentary on Netflix - the man with a thousand kids I think it's called. Not sure if I would recommend watching if you haven't already as it's a little scary but it really made clear to me how important family limit is for me and my husband. But it's like we always say, there is no right or wrong in how you choose a donor, only what is right for you. Hope your scan goes well.

@Disco24 ooh super ovulation sounds great 🤣. I think I read somewhere that twins is more likely with medicated IUI!! I think because the drugs could make you release more than one egg. Not sure how true it is though. Would be so amazing for you to be able to fall pregnant through IUI and not have to go through egg collection and stuff 🤞🤞.

Is anyone's clinics closed over Christmas? They told us yesterday that usually from 3rd week of December into first week of January, they close so that limits the time we have to be able to start this year now 😐

Oh it looks delicious! I’ll definitely be giving it a try.

No I’ve not seen that programme either but also watched the one one Netflix. That for me just showed how you should not procure donor sperm outside of a regulated place, same as you @StarJasmine93.

Yes she warned us of that! The chances of twins is much higher, so that is plus change things 😂 but they wouldn’t inseminate if there were more than two follicles so max 2! I’d take anything at this point 💖

I also assume ours will be closed, but I will check thank you for the reminder!

I definitely need to improve my diet and work harder cutting out caffeine now!! Thanks for sharing 😊
Yes I also heard twins are more likely, especially with clomid!
I'm so excited hearing all the updates here.

We have had implications counselling yes, but think we might book a second appointment in to talk a bit more about these concerns/questions we have.

Born from the same stranger is on itvx - a 4 part series on donor conceived adults navigating the process after finding out they were donor conceived. It's really helped us to consider more about the decisions we're making and who we are choosing as our donor, and what might be important for our child as well as us.
It can be an emotional watch tho, just to warn you!
I'm not sure what happens after our appointment next week. My understanding is that funding is in place, all my scans, bloods etc will have been done, so I'm hoping it might actually be the start of deciding our protocol and agreeing a start date 🤞🏻

Yeahh they said to us if there was anything else we wanted we could contact and discuss with them so it’s definitely worth considering just to air those concerns.

Eeek so you’re maybe not too far off either! Would be great for you to get a plan in place.