BFP after IVF - the journey continues (part 2)

[HopefulllHolly]

SENSITIVE CONTENT

Continuation of previous thread for anyone with a BFP following IVF to support with anxieties and other worries that come along with pregnancy after infertility.

@AnnieStar12
@DippyDuck19
@DogMummy87
@Edf
@Fluffyted
@Leaf86
@LouP87
@Natty2
@SETTC87
@ThePeachGoose
@jas1996
@lemonyfox
@oliviagrace2307
@summerchild92

Please tag anyone else I’ve missed accidentally!

@HopefulllHolly your update has made me chuckle. I love your determination to get the colour of your cot and lovely of the lady to help you. These pregnancy hormones make us crazy!!!

I was 24 weeks on Tuesday! Thought the anxiety would be better but now I just worry about movements 🤦🏻‍♀️ and have also developed swollen ankles today 😞

DP is starting the panelling on the weekend. Am quite excited now to get started. I do feel like I need to nest and get things in order. Even though I have loads of time!!!

@Fluffyted excited to put the pram together. Think I will put it together sooner rather than later as my dog will be terrified of it don't to get her used to everything new.

@DippyDuck19 I know I’m totally ridiculous aren’t I. It turned up and it’s the colour I thought it was (same colour as our hallway basically 😂).
Oh bless you on the swollen ankles - at least we’re going in to winter where they won’t be on show.
Exciting your partner is starting the panelling! It feels nice starting stuff to be honest. I just want to get to the stage where we’ve built all the furniture and I can put all the little vests and everything away but that feels like a very long way off yet!

Sorry ladies, I’ve had a bit of a manic time dealing with a flood in the living room from the bathroom above, which we’ve only gutted and re-done like a year ago. Uuuuhhhh luckily the fitter agreed to come back to fix it.

I wanted to reply to @Sierra26 as I know how stressful that can be. Bleeding in pregnancy, especially if brown and without cramping is not automatically a cause for concern. I had a few drops of dark brown blood in week 3 before OTD, but still too late for implantation, which then reduced to a brown discharge, sometimes watery, for the next 2 weeks or so, that would increase the more active I was. My IVF consultant did the hcg tests and they were doubling as normal, so that calmed me down. At 6 weeks we had our viability scan finally and all was great and we could see the heartbeat, then 2 days later I had A LOT of red blood and big clots gushing out at the rate of a pad per hour so I was sent to the A&E, who then referred me to the EPU the next day and things were still fine but we finally discovered that it was a haematoma, fairly common in IVF 😅 so I had the brown discharge for a few more weeks and after it went away for a week, at 9 weeks I had another small red bleed from the placenta growing over the cervix, which then turned into brown discharge and eventually went away after a week or two. The placenta must have moved. I should mention that I took my pessaries rectally all along and I still got bleeding, so there’s lots of reasons why it could happen, with the DTD being one of them for sure. My consultant actually told me at the 6 weeks scan to avoid activities that elevate my heart beat as well as intercourse, and he said it could even be a leaky blood vessel.

In all of it, the EPU have been brilliant and got me in the next day every time I reported a bleed. They see people even before 6 weeks so if you want some peace of mind sooner, definitely give them a call and they might be able to do the hcg blood tests but definitely a scan. Even if you wouldn’t see a heartbeat before 6 weeks, they should still be able to confirm that it’s in the right place and the embryo has all the right elements developing (sac, pole etc), but obviously you’ll get more out of it at 6 weeks. Because of my haematoma, the EPU has also kept me on progesterone until week 16, and they would have upped my dosage if I weren’t already on the max dose already. So can’t recommend enough visiting your local EPU when you're stressed about bleeding. Best of luck and hopefully you can enjoy your time away!

Ah while I’ve been fairly relaxed since week 12 (I’m now 18 weeks) I had a proper panic attack this morning. Because of the flood and the water being off, I went out for dinner with a friend at a fancy Mediterranean restaurant in London last night as I figured it will be quite healthy. I mentioned on the booking I was pregnant, I told the 2 waitresses as well, but I did not expect to have to take the main one through the NHS list of things I can’t have 🤦🏻‍♀️ anyway, I listed a few things I can’t have including goat’s cheese, and that things should be cooked well, and in the end she said she’ll double check with the kitchen and let me know if there’s anything I can’t have. My ordering was quite stupid too as I went for the lamb kofta as I was craving it and starving, but figured since I mentioned I was pregnant and they checked with the kitchen, they will serve it well done. Nope. So plates came out, started eating, the restaurant was fairly dark, and the lamb kofta was charred on the outside and dry inside, figured it was fine. But then I noticed in the candle light that it was actually quite pink inside, after I’ve already had half! I stopped eating and was already feeling quite guilty, and then this morning I decided to re-look at the menu and google the Greek names for stuff and my god, a dish even had a goat’s cheese sauce despite specifically saying I can’t have that. I was so annoyed about the whole thing and so worried about toxoplasmosis mainly. I can only hope that I already have immunity since I used to have beef tartare quite often and that the odds are on my side. While lamb can be pretty bad for toxoplasmosis, Tommy’s say that they have only identified 190 cases in pregnancy over 5 years in the UK, though there could have been more. So there’s that. I’m having quite the week here! 😅 hope you’re all having a better week and making better life and food choices

@ThePeachGoose Oh bless you! Sounds like a bloody stressful few days for you! The bathroom flooding is not what you need. And treating yourself to a nice meal only to have all that worry isn’t great. Poor thing. I really wouldn’t worry about toxoplasmosis though - like you say it’s very uncommon. Do you have pets? You’re basically immune if you have a pet and I think you’ll have good immunity from your steak tartare if not. For what it’s worth I’ve been craving lamb and eaten a lot of just past pink lamb (I’m usually a rare meat girl) and had a bit of slightly pink roast beef last weekend. I think the risks would be minimal. Try not to stress! Nearly 20 weeks now and that’s an amazing milestone! Have you felt baby move yet? 🥹

Hope your next week is much lighter x

@HopefulllHolly ah thanks for that, I hope as well that next week will be calmer. No pets, just had an indoor cat growing up and I befriend the neighbourhood cats wherever I go, plus I did some gardening before getting pregnant. So if that didn’t do it, then the beef tartare definitely did, or tasting any burger mix before cooking. No kicks yet though I have felt something like a bubble popping one day this week and thought that that might have been it. Nothing since though but I’m still monitoring closely 🤞🏻

Gosh, what a stress! Please don’t worry too about toxoplasmosis, it’s super rare and it sounds like you’re being so careful in general anyway, I’m sure it won’t be an issue!

I think the only guidelines I’ve stuck to are no smoking, no alcohol and no raw fish…I’ve definitely had cheese I shouldn’t (it doesn’t count if it’s cooked?!) and pink meat, deli meat etc.

Has anyone else’s bump gone really hard now? Over the last couple of days mine is solid, like when I’ve eaten too much, but all the time!

I’ve not heard back from the hospital about my GTT test, assuming no news is good news and I do not have gestational diabetes!

Thanks @LouP87 good to know that everyone here is pretty relaxed about this stuff. Years ago the sister of a friend of mine had to terminate her pregnancy because of toxoplasmosis and I suppose that being so close to home, the risk felt way bigger to me, but looking at the stats, it must have been just incredible bad luck. If the forbidden cheeses are cooked, they don’t count, no 😆 I’ve had deli meats too as long as they were somewhat cooked or heated. Anyway, I’m sure it’s all fine, thank you!

Yeah, no news is good news usually. Can you check your test results via the NHS app if they don't appear in any of the pregnancy apps?

@ThePeachGoose Sounds like you’re being very sensible so I think you’ll be fine! I think you’d have symptoms if you got toxoplasmosis anyway? But it sounds like you’d likely be immune anyway. My little dog sleeps on the end of our bed (and usually ends up sleeping on my tummy under the covers) so I’d expect I’m very immune - he doesn’t leave my side really bless him (how he’s going to cope with a baby and less attention is another story! 😅). I’m going to really miss all the naughty cheeses at Christmas 😔🐽

@LouP87 Yeah my bump is really firm now and feels super tight and uncomfortable at times. I don’t know how my skins going to keep stretching! I can also feel babies position quite a bit now (not always) and if I poke her she gives me a kick. So that’s quite a funny new thing ☺️ Fingers crossed no news is good news on the GTT test.

My week is definitely improving here as we finally fixed the leak and the water is back on, and I’ve also started to feel the kicks I think! I was telling my friend at dinner on Wed that babies are more likely to sleep when you’re active cause they’re rocked to sleep, and wake up when you’re resting, so thought I’d try that. I got into bed and I put a podcast on while lying there with the hands on my belly and after a while I could definitely feel light taps and thumps and lots of what I thought were muscle spasms, but after googling a bit, I think that that’s the baby! It’s really lovely to feel her and like there’s a human being in there. Then while having dinner later on I felt this fizzy feeling people describe and a slight tickle.

The only thing I noticed up until that was the feeling of a big bubble popping in my belly last week, but I must have been so stressed and busy this week with everything that I didn’t pay attention to anything else, but I think I felt muscle spasms. I just didn't realise that it could be the baby. I thought it’s another part of your bump expanding and muscles acting funny.

@ThePeachGoose thankyou so much for your thoughtful and detailed response, honestly don’t know what I’d do without this community. Googling can only get you so far, it’s heating from others who have been through the same thing that really helps. My husband is already a bit tired of my worrying 😂 but I’ve promised I’ll calm down once we know there is actually a baby growing, and in the right place. He’s very supportive but more logical rather than emotional, and I’m the sort who really needs to understand what’s going on. Maybe it’s an infertility/ivf thing, as my friends who found TTC easy have admitted they didn’t have a clue what was going on! I also have a health professional background so clinical reasoning is now an automatic way of thinking.

Your bleed at six weeks must have been terrifying, what a rollercoaster. I would never have guessed that such episodes could still lead to a healthy pregnancy before I started on this journey. Your case proves there can be all sorts of reasons!

I’m considering EPU, but I spoke to my ivf clinic yesterday who are going to test my hcg on Monday, and agreed at my request that I could increase my cyclogest dose to see if that makes a difference. I’m seeing less spotting today so I’ll give it a few more days before doing anything else. I retested last night once we got home from hol and got 3+ on CB and strong line on a cheapie which made me feel better. I’m now 5+2 and have private scan booked for 6+6 so not too long to wait.

Thank you so much again ❤️

@Sierra26 this community has been a huge help for me as well! Especially seeing how the vast majority of women in here went on to have positive viability scans, then positive 12 week scans and so on. The stats may be against you when you enter IVF, which does lead to extra trauma and stress that people who conceive naturally don’t experience, but the chances seem to be more on your side on the other side of the positive.

I would have never guessed either that such bleeding episodes with clots could lead to successful outcomes, but it didn’t take too much googling to find other positive stories. And while it all felt scary, I could compare it to the chemical I had in week 4 in the previous pregnancy and it felt nothing like that. With that one I had intense cramps almost like contractions, definitely worse than my usual period, and I had to roll into the fetus position, apply a heat patch and take Nurofen. In this I had none of that, just a minor discomfort, so it provided me with a bit of hope.

I’m pleased that the IVF clinic jumped into action as the hcg is probably the best way to provide some reassurance at this stage and increasing the progesterone probably a good measure as well. But your tests sound very positive too! Strong lines are always encouraging (by comparison, when I had my chemical, mine were very faint).

I was obviously very stressed during my first trimester due to my two red bleed episodes, you can’t not be! but on the plus side I ended up having scans every week or every two weeks (some at EPU, some at the IVF clinic) and we got to see our baby grow. It was very special. Once we got the week 12 scan and all nuchal tests / NIPT came back positive, I finally relaxed as I knew that the miscarriage rate drops to like 1% and I was happy to resume my normal life. Tbh I could just not be bothered to go back to another clinic or hospital for scans, as it takes so much time out of your day and you’re always a bit stressed right before. But while I’ve been very relaxed, I did hold off on purchasing anything for the baby or doing anything in the nursery. I think that the week 20 scan will give me the reassurance I need to know that this is truly happening. So yeah, the IVF trauma doesn’t completely leave you until your baby is in your arms 😆

Ah and a final thought as I forgot to mention it, because of my haematoma, I was told not to fly or do any intense workouts / activities that elevate heart rate, or have intercourse. When you get to the IVF clinic or you’re seen for the private scan, definitely ask them about any restrictions. Honestly everyone kinda gave me slightly different advice, but not flying was consistent.

Good luck and fingers crossed!!!

@ThePeachGoose 🥹🥹 Awww so amazing you felt little girl moving away. It’s definitely been one of my favourite moments of the whole process. And super glad to here the house leak situation is much better!

Ive booked my antenatal course with Happy Parent Happy Baby today which starts end of October. Was going to go with the Baby and Bump or whatever it’s called but just as I was paying it said every class is 4 hours on a Saturday and my weekends are my time where we get things done and spend time together, which will only get more important as we get closer to meeting little girl and spend our last few weeks just the two of us (and Rocco the dog 🐶). So the classes should take us to end of November and then I’m planning on keeping December free for us time and nesting/resting and starting to do some batch cooking for the freezer and things. I’m really excited for Christmas time (I know I’ll get shot for saying that on Mumsnet as it seems lots of people hate it). I love being cosy with the fire on and candles and knowing we’ll be a month away from meeting our little girl is going to make it even more special. ❤️

Oh my gosh @HopefulllHolly you have your next few months all planned out! Well done! What’s your due date again? Is it end of Jan? Either way you’re giving me lots of good ideas for activities to add to my list (e.g. batch freezing). Btw there’s some companies like Cook that also do new parent boxes that I’ve sent to a few friends and they absolutely loved. I think they usually come at discounted prices.

That’s silly, you should be able to enjoy Christmas without the guilt. Yeah, it does get crazy with family and office parties and expensive gifts and too much Mariah Carey, but my husband and I also love all the little activities that we do just the two of us in the lead up to Christmas (my husband bakes and builds a gingerbread house, we make spiked eggnog - though not this year! - when we make the tree, we watch a Christmas movie, and this year we’re actually quite lucky because we get to spend Christmas just the two of us so we look forward to cooking a lavish dinner with all our favourite sides without having to bother about catering to everyone else’s preferences 🤤) bring on Christmas I say!

Thanks again @ThePeachGoose ❤️ . I’ve been so afraid of it turning out to be a chemical pregnancy and that the spotting was my lining giving up naturally. For now I’m just dying to know there is actually a growing embryo in there, but think I’ll be similar to you in not wanting to relax until at least 12 weeks when most tests and scans are back. Interesting about the restrictions you were given, I’ll definitely keep in mind to ask about that if I need to. Prior to this I did a lot of exercise which im avoiding so far, and really missing it!

The spotting slowed since Friday and seems to have pretty much stopped… hoping I can chill out for a few days now. Maybe coincidence or maybe the increased progesterone, who knows. Also beta HCG today!

Good luck today @Sierra26 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

The bleeding stopping is a good sign! Yeah, I had quite a lot of restrictions. And I went from being quite active and doing yoga / pilates, sessions with my PT and swimming to just walking. I was so creaky by the end of the first trimester! But super happy when I was able to restart my PT sessions in the second trimester 😆

Good luck today @Sierra26 and hopefully the spotting stopping is a positive sign 🤞🏻

Hope everyone else is ok??

I went to the maternity assessment unit yesterday. Felt baby boy kick around 7am and then nothing pretty much the whole day so called for advice. They asked me to come in and checked baby's heartbeat! Beating away nice and healthy at 150bpm. The joys of an anterior placenta!

Hope it went ok @Sierra26 🙂

@DippyDuck19 Oh no bless you you poor thing! I think they sometimes get in funny positions or are facing backwards and you have times where you don’t feel them at all. On Sunday I was so busy with family I didn’t feel her at all all day but I think I was just distracted. She was fine at night though but it’s always in the back of your mind as a worry! Glad little boy is all good and his heart is beating away nicely. I can tell baby is getting a lot stronger now, I can feel her a lot more than before and they feel really strong at times, especially down low at night it’s like she’s plucking my insides or something 🤣🤣
Other than that all good! Did your partner start the panelling last weekend? We chose two paint colours for the nursery to try and decide this weekend - one is not what I’d planned and is a dark dusky pink (it’s called sulking room pink which I love the name of 😂) and the other is quite a dark sage green colour. Really can’t decide between the two but strangely I am leaning towards the pink which I definitely wasn’t planning! I was quite adamant no pink - but it’s quite dark and not hugely feminine looking so I think it could look pretty with the cot. Off to London today for work and dreading the long day, I have insomnia every night now between 3-5am and then fell back asleep this morning and my alarm went off at 5:45 and not back until 8pm tonight so I’m going to be so tired! But will be nice to see some colleagues I’ve not seen since starting ivf ☺️
Hope everyone is doing ok! Feel like we’re all a bit quieter now and just plodding along till due date really - which is no bad thing that the anxiety is waning! 😍

@HopefulllHolly sulking room pink is a lovely colour. I nearly chose this for my bedroom! (I'm not a pink girlie - but it's not a feminine pink).

My DP did the panelling on the weekend and has given the ceiling and skirting a fresh coat of paint. We are going to paint the room this weekend (I hope I like the colours I picked 😬) and then will be off to Ikea next week to pick out all the furniture. Am desperate to get all the boxes and bags of clothes I have washed and into a wardrobe! Baby has soo much stuff already!

@DippyDuck19 It is pretty isn’t it - I still like the other colour (I think it’s called pigeon) but the room is north facing so I am worrying it will feel cold. Probably overthinking it!
Wow sounds like your partner got loads done, well done him! Are you still going for sage green? I bet it will be lovely to put all the clothes away! We’re still planning to get the furniture end of November but I reckon I’ll get too impatient after we get the nursery painted and want to get everything ready. Mind you, we’re having coving put up in there this week and then painting that and the ceiling this weekend. Then busy the following two weekends so I don’t think we’ll get round to painting until the end of the month anyway 😅 and by the time the room has stopped smelling of paint it’ll probably be Black Friday anyway. I don’t think they’ll actually get marked down but you never know I guess!
Looking forward to seeing how your room looks - bet it’s going to look so cute 🥰

@DippyDuck19 glad to hear baby is ok! It's good that they got you in straight away to check.

I'll be 20 weeks on Thursday but scan isn't until next week, so desperately waiting for that! I've been able to feel small dull movements for just over a week now, but they are feeling abit more obvious the last few days. It's consistently in the same place so I'm sure it's baby!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Forgot to add- suffering from a horrible cold. I know some of you have been ill recently. Any tips to manage without meds?

@HopefulllHolly @DippyDuck19 Oh you’ve both got me interested in painting the nursery room a colour. I always do all walls white and have done for years now. But I feel like maybe this a good excuse to embrace some colour. Do you think it’s worth buying the F&B paints or getting equivalent colours in cheaper brands like Dulux?

As for movements, I’m still not feeling much at all :( if I lie down and really focus then sometimes I think I feel an occasional kick but it’s always a one off and I’m never entirely sure. Argh, it is so annoying!
I might get another private scan just to see some movements on the screen! I know the hospital will brush me off if I speak to them about no movement as I’m not at 24 weeks yet, the doctor doing my 20 week scan even said he wouldn’t worry about movement until after 26 weeks.

@Natty2 oh no, sorry you’re poorly. Lots of sleep and honey and ginger tea! Hopefully the next week will zoom by for the scan.

@Natty2 Oh bless you - get well soon! The only thing I’d say is plenty of fluids and sleep and like Annie says some hot water with lemon and honey and some paracetamol. It’s so crap being poorly and pregnant. My movements tend to be really low down like she’s kicking me in my privates 🤣 but I’ve had some at belly button height this week.

@AnnieStar12 Im very monochrome - our house is mainly all neutral colours with some navy and khaki thrown in, so I feel a little out of my comfort zone with colours but I figured it’s a baby room so why not be a little more playful. The farrow and ball paints have a depth of colour I don’t think you get with mixed paints, but having said that they are SO expensive. So the top half of my room I’m going to have mixed up in dulux and the panelling in the pink or green I’m having as F+B. I’ve seen a couple mixed of the same pink and they still look lovely though and my partner might have something to say when I splurge £100 on 5litres of paint 🤣🤣 so who knows I may end up with it mixed in the end!
I wouldn’t worry about kicks just yet - mine have only just started getting more regular and strong enough to feel much more and I’m 24 weeks on Thursday. Today for example I haven’t felt her at all so far and I’d usually feel her from about 7am - but I think it’s just because I’m moving around and stuff. If a scan makes you feel better then go for it though!

I’m loving reading about all your nursery plans, and a tad jealous too! I can’t wait to be able to move and give the little one his own space (and decorate it 😂)

It sounds like all the babies are being a bit lazy! I was slightly worried yesterday as I only felt him slightly a couple of times. Had my 25 week midwife appointment this morning and he is all good, heart beating away and he kicked the Doppler a couple of times.

she measured my bump - I know these aren’t very accurate but I’m just under 90th percentile on the graph, fine for now but reckon I’ll be in for some extra growth scans in the near future!

oh, and no diabetes for me!