BFP after IVF - the journey continues (part 2)

[HopefulllHolly]

SENSITIVE CONTENT

Continuation of previous thread for anyone with a BFP following IVF to support with anxieties and other worries that come along with pregnancy after infertility.

@AnnieStar12
@DippyDuck19
@DogMummy87
@Edf
@Fluffyted
@Leaf86
@LouP87
@Natty2
@SETTC87
@ThePeachGoose
@jas1996
@lemonyfox
@oliviagrace2307
@summerchild92

Please tag anyone else I’ve missed accidentally!

@LouP87 @Leaf86 I’ve just been looking at maternity leave today as well and was quite surprised to see that the statutory part, as little as it is per week / month, is only offered for 9 months. I have a bit more control over the pay though as my husband and I own our company, but we’re also the only two employees. We’re not keen to hire someone while I’m away, and probably can’t afford to, so I’ve started writing my maternity plan today and have been cramming my most important tasks into 10 keep in touch days lol what’s also funny is that I’ll have to process my own maternity leave. Atm I’m considering going on maternity leave at 37 weeks and returning when the 9 months of SMP is up.

@oliviagrace2307 congratulations on your baby girl! And pleased to hear you’re feeling more human.

@HopefulllHolly thanks for reporting back on the maternity jeans. I can already feel my low waist jeans digging into my bump so these days I walk around with the button undone lol but soon I’ll need to order a few pairs of maternity jeans as well to see which ones I like. So far I’ve only ordered some maternity yoga pants and a new sports bra and a workout top in a larger size because my old ones don’t fit me anymore! Everything was popping out when I went to my prenatal yoga class last week lol Sorry to hear about the migraines. Did you struggle with them before the pregnancy too? I’m pleased that you were able to get the rest of the week off and definitely try some headspace, breathing exercises, the massage will also help, to reduce the stress, as you’re right, it only makes them worse. Good idea to get a massage for shoulders and neck as pain can definitely travel up. If the migraine radiates from base of your head at the back, it’s probably that. Otherwise lots of great suggestions here to check for magnesium deficiency and cooling patch for relief. When I had my 2-day migraine recently (mine was from shoulder and neck tension) I used a 4head stick which I’ve applied on all sore muscles before going to sleep and I felt like it really helped cool the pain (as it’s levomenthol) until I could fall asleep. But probably best to ask your midwife before using 4head.

@DippyDuck19 ah I’m so pleased that the bleeding stopped! You must be much more relaxed now

@LouP87 so pleased that the repeat scan was nothing to worry about in the end, and that you were able to see your little guy again. Congratulations on feeling the first movements too!

My only update is that I have my first proper appointment with the midwife on Friday as well, at 16 weeks. I’m also finally stopping my Cyclogest then 🥳 bump is slowly popping and today I had heaps of energy. Trying to enjoy it and get things done while it lasts

Thanks @Natty2 @ThePeachGoose I feel very blessed to have one of each now and feel like my family will be complete ❤️ although would have been equally happy with another boy haha I was def preparing for another dinosaur and car loving little man! Hope you are both doing well?

@DippyDuck19 ahh how lovely having a baby shower at home! I'm currently planning my sister in laws shower for October so if you (or anyone on the chat) wants any game ideas, happy to share lol 😆

It is so lovely to be heading towards or passing the 20 week mark for most of us!

I also had my 16 week midwife appointment last week but absolutely nothing to write home about, I finally got my little folder to store my notes in and some free vitamins in the pack and my own wee pot (the glamour of it all lol) but I saw a locum midwife and everything question I had about anxiety or back pain etc it was met with "Speak to your hospital consultant" which I don't even have an appointment for yet grrr lol I did chase and they are still triaging which consultant I will see. Didn't get to hear the heartbeat I did ask but no that's for 25 weeks apparently 😕 but I had my private scan anyway at the weekend so wasn't a massive deal breaker. My 20 week scan isn't until 30th September, hoping time will fly!

@oliviagrace2307 the way you're describing your 16 weeks appointment is pretty much what I'm preparing for as well. My 20 weeks scan isn't until 14 October and I won't see an obstetrician until 12 Nov, so it's a long while to go until I can get some questions answered if this Friday appt is useless.

Thanks for asking, all good here. Need to take advantage of this energy not just for work projects, but also to start sorting out the nursery! I have to get rid of a double bed before we can start thinking of buying anything for the baby. Not very keen on that but will definitely have more energy and drive to do it now compared to the third trimester lol

@ThePeachGoose Ah I know its frustrating that some midwife hubs from other experiences seem to be good and others like mine it's more just box ticking exercises. I wouldn't have minded but I had to wait nearly 30 mins for my appt as she was running over and then I think I was in there for a grand total of 5 minutes 😅 I'm hoping yours won't be like that fingers crossed!

Glad you are feeling the positive energy of second trimester and I totally get what you mean in sorting bits out for the nursery etc have you got a theme you'd like for your nursery? How you doing with baby shopping do you have ideas in mind for what you want? Ah its annoying trying to shift furniture FB marketplace is a godsend! Our plans have been thrown out of the window slightly as our plan was to have our DS and baby share a room which was plenty big enough and turn our DS little room back into an office as my DH needs the space as he WFH more than I do but as we've just transitioned my son out of cot to toddler bed, we are now looking into garden office sheds instead as I'd feel really bad if baby once she is big enough for nursery cot was to wake up my DS is a light sleeper and he will now get up in the night even if he hears me go to the bathroom and I try to be extra quiet so it makes more sense for baby girl to have her own space, DS can have his own space and my DH will work in an insulated space in the garden which I'm sure he will christen as a man cave lol but I'm now panicking over the thought of getting everything done and playing bedroom tetris!

We had our 20 week scan this morning and everything looks great with baby girl. Massively relieved and hoping I can try to enjoy second half of pregnancy.

The only slight hiccup is that they have said my placenta is basically totally covering my cervix, or at least so close that you can’t quite tell (so currently diagnosed as placenta previa). The consultant wasn’t 100% convinced it would move. I am due to fly to portugal for a short city break tomorrow (flying home Sunday) and they have said no restriction on flying (but obviously acknowledged that I am generally at higher risk of bleeding in the pregnancy going forward and will have another scan at 28 weeks to see if it will move). They confirmed that flying itself doesn’t increase the risk of a bleed. I’m still allowed to go to the gym, just no marathons or crazy exercise plans. Would you ladies still go or am I being reckless? My insurance will cover me as we booked before we knew it was full pp.

@DippyDuck19 Yeah I’ve always had migraines, mainly around my period so they’ve always been hormonal. It’s not been so bad today which is good.
We are having major issues with names - I am not discussing any of the ones we like with anyone now as everyone has an opinion and they put my partner off quickly. It’s bloody infuriating! I want some personalised stuff (seen really cute handmade cardigans) but I’m going to wait until she’s here.

@Natty2 Glad the midwife was better in person and you got to hear the heartbeat - sounds like she has nifty tools your midwife! Mine took ages to find the heartbeat too, and on my friends Doppler I could only find the placenta (makes a blood pumping noise) so it’s put me off getting my own!

@AnnieStar12 You are so lucky you get all those scans! I’ve been discharged to the midwife now so nothing more unless I need a growth scan for some reason. Wish I did get some more!

@Leaf86 Amazing news on the big 20 week scan! So pleased little one is doing well. And no you’re not being silly going away - you’ll be fine! I can’t see how it would make any difference at all. I think with an anterior placenta previa it does have a chance to move up, more so than a posterior, as you’ll do a lot more growing. Just see what they say at 28 weeks but they’ll probably leave it to 36 weeks unless it’s not moved at all I think - and you’ll just meet baby girl at 39 weeks instead! ☺️

@HopefulllHolly it's annoying when people give their opinion before baby is here but if you just use the name without telling beforehand, no one says anything!
All my back up names have been a no no with family. Luckily my favourite name has gone down the best. My mum even referred to him as that name the other day 🤦🏻‍♀️ hopefully I will still like it when he's here!

@Leaf86 glad your 20 week scan went well! As for your placenta (I don't know much about covering the cervix) but if they said you were ok to fly then I would go with that!

@oliviagrace2307 any game ideas would be much appreciated ☺️

@oliviagrace2307 thank you! I don’t have a theme for the nursery yet. I would have liked to leave the whole thing for the third trimester, as I’m still wary of things going wrong (must be that IVF pessimism) but my husband has rightly pointed out that since we need to get rid of the bed first and it might take a while, I might as well get started now. I’ll probably feel more inspired and more positive about it all once the room is empty and I get closer to the third trimester.

We actually haven’t bought a single thing for the baby yet. I’ve spent most of my free time this week ordering maternity clothes and pregnancy pillows to try out, but I’ll go back to baby research next week. But so far my husband wants the vtech baby monitor, on pram systems we’re in between the Cybex e-priam and Bugaboo Fox 5 (we’ll need to book a consultation and try them out properly), and I’m nowhere closer to a decision on bedside cribs lol. Do you have a shortlist yet or have you started buying things? Ah and we’re going to inherit a gazillion clothes from our 1 year old niece which is AMAZING

Aaaah if you can make it work, it sounds like a great idea for each child to have their own room, both for sleep reasons in the short term, and for their privacy in the long run. I see these really cool office sheds on instagram all the time. I’m sure your husband will make the most of it and he’ll probably appreciate having some distance from the house and not hearing a screaming child on the background of every zoom call lol

@HopefulllHolly sorry to hear that you used to have migraines before the pregnancy too. I did read in my pregnancy book that you’re more likely to have them in the pregnancy if you had them before too. But it sounds positive that it hasn’t been as bad today! Hopefully it’s on its way out. In the grand scheme of things, you’re halfway through the pregnancy and you only had this one episode. Hopefully this is it until the baby is here! 🤞🏻

@ThePeachGoose Yeah it’s just been the last couple of weeks that they’ve become regular, before it was just the random odd one.
I think we’re going to get the Tutti Bambini Cozzee for a beside me cot - I read a few reviews and it seems to be well rated - I prefer the look of it too so slightly an aesthetic thing - the SnuzPods were second. Has anyone had these before?

@DippyDuck19 Yeah annoyingly me and my partner can’t agree on a name either, we like a few of the same but no clear top name. Annoyingly everyone seems to only ask about names and I feel so grumpy just shutting down the conversation now 😅 EVERYONE has an opinion. My partners dad just texts me random (ugly) names constantly - sometimes at 3am 🤣🤣🤣 I’ve stopped replying now.

@HopefulllHolly @ThePeachGoose we've bought the maxi-cosi iora bedside crib. Not sure if it's any good but got a good offer on it during Amazon prime day. Tutti Bambini cozee was the other one we would have got otherwise.

The Cybex Priam and bugaboo fox was on my list. The seat on the Priam though is narrow and I read reviews that little ones can outgrow it. I'm going with the bugaboo fox 5

Thanks @DippyDuck19 so very useful! I saw the same thing about the priam that it’s slightly more narrow but the review I was watching (The stroller workshop) said it’s not that bad that they would rule it out completely, but maybe it depends on the size of the baby 😬

The maxi-cosi is on my list too along with the tutti bambini, just can’t decide! Gaaaah

@DippyDuck19 Of course I have a list for what we are doing at my SIL shower and some of these I had for my baby shower with DS. I can't stand any baby games like trying baby food (yuk!) Or god forbid guess what's in the nappy. So hopefully these are a bit more sophisticated haha 😄 and hope they help!

Baby Bingo - Everyone gets a scorecard and we play a round of bingo. First guest to win a row gets a prize and first guest to full house wins a prize!

Baby Predictions - Guess the due date and guess the baby's birth weight

Don't Say Baby - Every guest when they arrive is given a pacifier necklace. We instruct them not to say the word "Baby". If a guest hears another guest say the word "Baby" they can claim the guests necklace as their own. The guest with the most necklaces at the end of the party wins a prize.

Cut the Cord - There is a ball of string on a table with stickers. Guests have to cut the string and tie into the size they believe is closest to Evas baby bump and add their name with a sticker to the string. Closest string size to your bump size wins.

@ThePeachGoose Ah makes total sense about planning the nursery now if it will take time to off load the bed. I'm sure Pinterest will become your friend for deco inspo! Your buggy and cot choices sound good too! And inheriting clothes from family is super super helpful! We have only bought little lady some Lilo and Stitch vests back after we had 12 week scan lol mainly because my DS loves Stitch and I wanted him to help choose something for baby. But I did sort through my DS old clothes and got the gender neutral newborn/0-3 clothes out but it's not a lot eek so will def need to build up a baby girl wardrobe! There's stuff I'm reusing from DS like big things pram, car seat etc but getting new cot mattresses, wardrobe, bottles, new nursing pillow etc but we haven't made a dent in any of that yet will wait until after 20 week scan then start chipping away.

Thank @oliviagrace2307 for the ideas. My mum has bought predictions cards already and wants to play guess what's in the nappy too 😂 I like the don't say baby and cut the cord games!! Will add those to the list.

@ThePeachGoose I think what sold it for me with the bugaboo fox is it's soo easy to steer one handed which would be great for when I walk the dog. It also feels fairly light (compared to others).

@Leaf86 congrats on the 20 week scan! And enjoy your trip :)

@HopefulllHolly I have a list of potential baby names on my phone. Everytime I come across a name I like I put it on the list. If anyone asks me about our name ideas I just say I don’t have any ideas yet, and then invite them to give me some ideas. If I like any then I add them to the list! I learnt from my last pregnancy not to share what you’re thinking as people will only put you off or say their opinion or something annoying like “oh I had a crazy ex girlfriend with that name” haha! I think we’ll just aim to have a shortlist in time for the birth and then see what she looks like and which fits best.

@oliviagrace2307 @DippyDuck19 baby shower planning sounds fun! I did one that was quite sweet at a friends do, we were all given a little card to write a message or piece of advice on, and then each card was put inside a newborn nappy so she had a little note in each early nappy change. I can’t remover exactly how they attached it but must have been in a hygienic way!

@DippyDuck19 ahh glad the games are useful! Haha aww bless your mum with the nappy game I know they are insanely popular at showers in the US and I think if I wasn't squeamish about it I could give it a go lol I just really enjoyed having my friends around me and having a nice time at my shower so I'm sure you will get to do that. I forgot we also had 'Fastest time to change a nappy' - my mum works as a Health and Social Care tutor and she had access to those lifelike baby dolls so she borrowed one from work and we had a stopwatch and everyone got to have a go at changing nappies on this baby doll, my auntie ended up winning but then again she's a pro as she had 7 kids lol 😆 she's had to be quick!

@AnnieStar12 ooh that's a lovely idea writing little inspiration messages and putting them in the nappies 😀 what a nice way to keep a mama going, I'll have to look online to see how people do it. We are for my SILs shower asking guests to bring a little book for the baby instead of a card so we can build a little library for the wee man which I think is so nice. As much as I love cards I know not everyone does and they end up going to recycling or hidden away whereas if people write the same messages in one of their favourite books it's something mum and child can look back on all the time. Are you planning on having a shower for your little lady?

@oliviagrace2307 I didn't ask, but do you have a nursery theme yet? And would you recommend anything from the baby gear you already own from your DS? But I’m with on waiting until after week 20 to buy anything extra.

Outside of the usual suspects, I’m trying to come up with a list of essential items one should have on day 1 for a newborn, but it’s actually quite funny as some people might love one item, whereas others hate it with a passion lol. This article from Emily Oster sums it up https://parentdata.org/the-best-baby-items-and-the-worst/?utm_medium=newsletters&utm_source=Digest-preview_article&utm_campaign=9/8-Free%20Digest-Article%20Teaser I assume that it’s all down to individual preferences for both the parents and the baby, but if anyone has any recommendations, I’m here for it.

@DippyDuck19 I remember when I looked at a few prams that the bugaboo was lighter than the cybex, but I’ll test them properly during a consultation and see how I feel. We live in a hilly area and our house is up on a hill, so the e-priam in particular is very attractive to us. But I also have like 5 steps to the house which might be easier to tackle with a lighter pram like the bugaboo. I can also leave the pram in the car and carry the baby up. Decisions, decisions. I won’t know until I try them out, but I found your earlier review of all the prams very helpful.

@AnnieStar12 oh that idea with the nappy messages is so sweet!

Question about pregnancy pillows. I remember that a couple of ladies here got the bbhugme one. How are you finding it?

I keep reading it doesn't work great for petite women (like myself), so I wonder whether to even test it.

@ThePeachGoose I have the bbhugme and also petite. I quite like it purely because I can mould it into a shape that suits me.

@DippyDuck19 ah fantastic. I thought that it's quite shapeable too, so I was surprised by some reviews. Hitting Buy! Thank you

@ThePeachGoose for me the only downside is it's pricey!!! There's a good video on YouTube about the different ways you can use it. I tend to start off cuddling it, wedge a bit under the bump to keep level and then have it between legs. Come the morning I have it in a 'U' shape from bump, between legs and along my back so I can roll back off my hip slightly (which is sore by the morning).
Sometimes I use a a 'V' pillow if watching TV in bed.
And you can also tie the ends together to make a doughnut shape. I put my bump in the middle so I can lie on my front for a bit (can't do it for long mind) but DP will rub moisturiser on my back in this position like a mini massage 🥰

@DippyDuck19 it’s like the Rolls Royce of pregnancy pillows lol But lots of people seem to love it so I thought I should start there. There’s not as much agreement on other brands. I love that you can use it in so many ways and that you can use it for massages too!

My bump isn’t super big yet, but my biggest issue (since before the pregnancy) is that I get guaranteed upper back and neck pain when I sleep on my side, so my husband has encouraged me to start trying out pregnancy pillows early, before I actually have to sleep on my side. 🤞🏻 that the bbhugme works for me

hey ladies! long time no speak, although i think that’s a good thing as it means i have less anxiety and am not spending as much time on here 😅 sooo lovely to hear everyone just progressing nicely🙊
we had our gender scan last week, add another girl to the tally! the girls really are taking over this thread💕 went for a little excited girly shopping spree on saturday and it was so nice to buy some girly little baby grows and get excited finally, i’ve also ordered some wallpaper samples from munk&me (obsessed if anyone needs nursery inspo!)

and my other half has been collecting the bargains from the staff shop at his work (boots head office) so we’ve got a snuz basket for £20, silvercross 360 isofix car seat for £40, uv steriliser for £15, loads of mam bottles! so accidentally have more than i would’ve wanted at this stage but got to snap up the bargains😅 also love the pram chat, i always fancied a bugaboo fox or a cybex priam but upon looking in JL they are all pretty chunky!! so think i’m swaying towards the bugaboo dragonfly, its similar to the fox but a bit more of a “city version” which is handy for my petite frame. i also really wanted the tutti bedside crib but have just discovered the snuz studio and that is a very lovely looking alternative, that’s very well priced! 🙊

also - looked at private antenatal classes and had a minor panic, the november course for jan/feb babies was sold out so i’ve booked onto the january course for march/apr babies but im due feb 24th, lets hope i make it to the final baby first aid session when im 38 weeks! 🤣🙈

20 week scan in 2.5 weeks - can’t wait to join you all on the other side 😀

@jas1996 Ah I’m so glad you posted! I was worrying about you! So so pleased for you - a little girl! 🎀 She sounds like she’s spoilt already 🥰 How amazing your partner gets all that stuff so cheaply - that’s the car seat on my list for post newborn and it’s so expensive! Love that wallpaper too - I’ll have a proper look today as I’m still stumped on the nursery - I just can’t visualise it and it’s stressing. Glad you’re not feeling anxious anymore 😊 that’s great news!