BFP after IVF - the journey continues (part 2)

[HopefulllHolly]

SENSITIVE CONTENT

Continuation of previous thread for anyone with a BFP following IVF to support with anxieties and other worries that come along with pregnancy after infertility.

@AnnieStar12
@DippyDuck19
@DogMummy87
@Edf
@Fluffyted
@Leaf86
@LouP87
@Natty2
@SETTC87
@ThePeachGoose
@jas1996
@lemonyfox
@oliviagrace2307
@summerchild92

Please tag anyone else I’ve missed accidentally!

@AnnieStar12 pleased all is well! Cute little scan photo too 🥰

@HopefulllHolly ah I have the positive birth company saved on my favourites somewhere. Just hadn't got round to looking at it!

I feel the same - I don't want to be in lots of pain. At the same time I don't want a full epidural. A mobile epidural still allows you to walk around but not all hospitals offer it so am going to ask at my next midwife appointment.

As for the other painkillers. They're all opiates. I feel soo spaced out and dizzy with the lowest dose of codeine and I don't want to feel like that (and probably worse) on stronger opiates like diamorphine and pethidine. Once given they take 30 mins to kick in and then last for approximately 4hrs. I don't want to feel like I'm off my face for that long 😂
Remifentanyl is another opiate but controlled by me. So it goes in IV. And every time I press the button it delivers a dose. Kicks in really quickly but is also eliminated from the body quickly too. So you take it with every contraction a bit like gas and air. But at the same time if I don't like it I don't have to use it for every contraction so hopefully not as spaced out! Again not all hospitals offer this so need to check.
Opiates also make baby drowsy - so I feel like something that the body gets rid of quickly is better 🤷🏻‍♀️

I can't believe am nearly half way!!! I'll get to 20 weeks and then want to get to 24 weeks. I feel like that's the last big milestone! Hopefully will be feeling full kicks by then and can start to relax!!!

@DippyDuck19 Ah thanks that’s so helpful - I think we have the same mentality when it comes to what we want or don’t want so I’ll probably ask the same. The last thing I want is baby being a space cadet (and ideally not me either).

It’s amazing you’re almost 20 weeks - so exciting! Definitely with you - 24 weeks is the last milestone and where I feel like im going to let myself enjoy being pregnant at last. I love my little bump but I want to be able to get really excited and I haven’t quite let myself get there yet - always excitement and total fear mixed together!

@HopefulllHolly it feels soo bizarre. I go from one extreme to the other with excitement and fear! Every week DP lets me buy 1 outfit for baby but then the next day I regret it!
Once the 20 week scan is out the way hopefully will feel a bit more excited. I've booked an appointment at mamas & papas next Sunday to try out prams and car seats. I still probably won't buy until 24 weeks though.

@HopefulllHolly @DippyDuck19 On the epidural thing, if helpful - I had one in my last labour and it was pretty amazing. You get a little button to self administer the dose, so you have total control about how much you feel, or not. I was only in established labour for a hour or two as I had to be rushed in to have a c-section cause of the position of the baby’s cord. But while I was in labour I really really appreciated the epidural, and wished I’d been given one in my previous births!!

I like your approach @HopefulllHolly about there being no medals for enduring pain! Sometimes feels like there’s a whole ‘positive birth’ world who try to convince women to endure pain in childbirth. I did some of those courses in my last pregnancy and found some useful bits, but also took some of the advice with a pinch of salt!

Im having crazy pregnancy sleep patterns, hence the silly time being online, haha!

Oh and also, my scan confirmed placenta has gone right in front. Bit sad as guess that means I won’t feel strong kicks for a while.

@AnnieStar12 awww Annie, what a lovely scan 💗🥰

@ThePeachGoose thank you so much for your message! This is so reassuring!
i knew about the RH neg thing, and I was almost 100% sure I was a negative, but like you said, usually in the first pregnancy this doesn’t cause any problems. I think I should have gotten the shot at 24-28 weeks pregnant but as there was a bleed, they give it immediately (in the first 72hrs), so I think it’s good that we went when the spotting started. It is already gone today but whenever I go to the toilet I get anxious od what I will see 😬👀

I thought getting pregnant would be the hard thing with us, but getting through all the scans, staying pregnant … seems even harder now. 😬🫣 Keeping my fingers crossed for everyone that all the scans go well and that everything turns out just fine!!

@summerchild92 sorry to hear about your scare the other night! Hope you were ok yesterday, and had no more bleeding? I know what you mean. It's taken such a long time to get pregnant in the first place and ever since that final bfp I don't think the anxiety has stopped! We'll get there!!

@ThePeachGoose glad to hear your 12 week scan went well! My due date is just 8 days before you 🥰

@HopefulllHolly glad you had a good first Pilates session. Mine start on the 2nd for 7 weeks! Also signed up for our local antenatal classes which start in Nov.

@AnnieStar12 such a lovely scan! Glad all went well and hopefully relieves some anxiety

@Natty2 yes, no more fresh blood, just minimal brown spotting as I think things need to clean out 😬 and hopefully this is a first and the last time this happened to me 😥 it really is scary! Hope we all get safely to the end.

I think I’ll be able to calm down once I’m so far along the baby is viable 😬👀

@summerchild92 gosh so scary- glad all is ok tho! I had bleeding really early on and still months later have to check everytime I wipe, it’s such an anxious time!

@AnnieStar12 what a perfect scan pic! My sonographers need to up their game!

@ThePeachGoose yey for a great 12 weeker, another milestone ticked!

i agree with @AnnieStar12 my epidural last time was magical haha! @HopefulllHolly fully agree that no medals for pain- I had to have gas and air just to be induced and fully aware my thresh hold for pain is tragically low! I am fully planning another epidural for sure, I could control how much i pressed the little button (a lot) and was able to bounce back pretty quick. I always thought water birth but wasn’t allowed due to various risk factors as I got closer so give me the drugs! (Understand everyone has their own preferences tho so each to their own!)

10 days till my 20 week now (2nd sep at 20+4) then off to turkey with the fam for a week and will be 23 weeks The day after I’m back and just a week off the magic 24 weeks which is the next milestone 😊 I found last time things went a bit quicker after that too as you start to see midwife every 2 weeks so really broke it up for me (I start 2 weekly appts with midwife from 25 weeks

sorry if I missed any other lovely updates, was lots to catch up on!

I’ve been very quiet the last couple of weeks as tying things up at work before holiday and had a colleagues wedding away over the last few days, but I’ve been catching up on all the messages!

@summerchild92 so sorry you’ve had such a scare. I’ve had quite a few episodes of bleeding since 5 weeks, the latest being two days ago (19+4) - firstly I had a hematoma which has now gone, one bout of “unexplained” and latest I’m pretty sure (TMI!) was because I had been quite constipated for a few days and the strain caused a bleed.

I had my 20 week anomaly scan this morning - baby boy is doing well, all normal so far which is great. My placenta however is low lying and quite near the cervix, with blood vessels lying very near it too. So I’ve been referred for a consultant scan in 4 weeks time, will have another scan at 32 weeks to check if my placenta has moved, and also booked in the 36 week scan whilst I was at it! So the blood vessels and placenta near the cervix could also explain the little bleeds I’ve had too.

Luckily I’ve only been advised of no strenuous exercise (no chance of that anyway), as I’m flying out to Greece on Monday for a couple of weeks, was worried they would say not to fly, but apparently this early on it’s still ok.

@LouP87 thanks for sharing your story! It’s so stressful isn’t it? 😬 But it reassured me that there’s still a possibility everything will turn out okay and to not just expect the worst!

have a lovely time in Greece!! 🥰☀️

Honestly I think I’m going to start a list about things I now know are “common” in pregnancy/IVF that no has ever heard or been told before it actually happens to them - all of a sudden everyone you speak to tells you how common it is etc and not to worry. Would have been nice at the start of this journey to be given a list of everything that is so bloody common!

@HopefulllHolly do let us know how your obstetrician appt goes and what sort of things you cover in that. Haha yeah, I’m so happy with my booklet! I noticed that all the ladies come into appointments and give reception their folder (and they do seem to collect quite a bit of stuff in there) and I just wanted to be one of them! Pleased to hear that your pilates went well and that they started nice and easy. You’re inspiring me to get going with something more structured like that. Hope that your massage today was amazing!

thank you @DippyDuck19 and i hope you’ll have a lovely weekend away and you’ll get the chance to take your mind off things and relax ahead of your next scan.

thank you @AnnieStar12 I’m loving this lindex brand and not just for bras, thanks for the recommendation. Your scan looks adorable! sorry that the placenta moved to the front, hopefully you’ll feel some kicks soon enough

thank you @Natty2 my due date buddy!

thanks @Edf I agree with you that my sonographer needs to step up their game as well! I remember someone in this group got a lovely printout of their 12 week scan, all framed in this beautiful card. Mine not only was blurry, but it got stuck in the printer so it looks like an accordion lol luckily I had a private scan the week before and I got a much better print out. If this would have been my first scan since the 6 week scan and I was full of pregnancy hormones, I think I would have cried at how little the sonographer cared about my big moment lol

good to know @LouP87 that you’ve been allowed to fly with a low placenta. Have a lovely time in Greece! Hope you won’t get any more bleeds while away and that you can relax and recharge your batteries.

Happy Bank Holiday everyone!

Hi everyone! Hope you’ve had a good day and have lovely plans for the long weekend!

@DippyDuck19 That’s so cute your partner lets you buy an outfit a week 🥹 I bet you have some cute stuff! My mums bought some adorable little things - most recently a really chunky knit cardigan which I keep imagining cuddling her in 🥲

That’s good to know re: epidural! I thought it was just one injection and then you’re numb, didn’t know you could keep topping yourself up @AnnieStar12. Other than a natural birth with epi I haven’t thought too much - I’d be prepared for an emergency caesarean but you can never plan too much for birth and I think overplanning can just lead to disappointment and fear if that’s not what happens. As long as baby (and me) are safe! I don’t fancy the recovery from caesarean though tbh - it’s mostly that that made me changed from wanting an ELCS. I’ve never had surgery before - having the egg collection was the most I’ve ever had done and I was terrified (for no reason because I had a fabulous experience - it was like a lovely sleep!). Super annoying your placenta is at the front too 😔 I’m sorry! I’m really frustrated with mine today because I really want to feel something. And definitely get you on the sleep patterns - I wake up at 12, 3 and 5 every night without fail. The dreams/nightmares don’t help either!

@Natty2 Hope you enjoy your Pilates too! We only have a small class of 5 so it was good as you get more one on one. Was lovely to move my body too!

@Edf Thanks for sharing your experience of an epidural too! I do also fancy a water birth as I’ve watched too much of that delivering babies programme and they all look magical! Haha on the low pain threshold - I have always been convinced I have a very high tolerance for pain (horrific period pains the last few years that almost paralyse me with how painful they are 😖 god I don’t miss them!!) but I reckon I’ll be an absolute wimp in childbirth! I guess when you know the pain will end and you’ll have a baby from enduring it kind of makes it a different, more bearable pain though? We shall see - you can laugh at me after when I say how horrible it was. 🤣

@LouP87 🥹🥹 hello!! So lovely to hear you’ve had your 20 week scan and everything is perfect! Congratulations!! Fingers crossed your placenta moves up before birth - you’ve got plenty of time for it to move I’m sure! Hope you have a wonderful time in Greece. I am very very jealous. Eat all the tzatziki and bread for me and hope the sunsets are gorgeous. Take lots of pictures of your bump
too! (I’m really sad I won’t have any really of me pregnant!)

@ThePeachGoose Youll be proudly wafting that little booklet around 😊 Definitely would recommend doing a pregnancy exercise class - it was nice meeting new mummy’s to be too and they are all local to me. I don’t think I’d have the motivation to self motivate myself to do any online exercise to be honest. I’m fully in sloth mode atm! I had my massage and waddled home and fell asleep (luckily she’s only like 6 doors down my road!). Was a nice way to spend my afternoon but now I can’t be bothered to make dinner, we have nothing in that I fancy (my cravings are very specific and change daily), and I just want to carry on napping! 😴

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend however they are spending it. I’m charging my batteries ready for the hurricane that is my partners dad visiting 🤣🤣

Hello! Hows everyone doing? Hope you had lovely weekends!

Im having a full hormonal meltdown this week 😣 yesterday I cried in marks and Spencer because I couldn’t find any food I wanted. Today I’ve been so anxious I had to go see the midwife to have her check the heartbeat. On the way I slipped on a manhole cover and have really hurt my wrist and hand and I turned up at the doctors covered in mud and in floods of tears. She was so sweet though and made me a cup of tea and gave me a hug and a long chat about anxiety in pregnancy. Feel much better and less insane although my wrist is not good at all! 😖

@HopefulllHolly awww, you poor thing. That sounds horrible and it must be scary falling over in pregnancy, glad the midwife was supportive. Hope you can have a relaxing evening x

I’m currently at the hospital waiting to be called in for my midwife appointment hoping they’ll listen to the heartbeat!

@AnnieStar12 Thanks! Thankfully I kind of did the splits and my hand/wrist took the fall but it shocked me! Definitely ask them to have a listen - i got the impression they don’t freely offer it out but I was talking about anxiety and she did it. Hope it goes well!

@HopefulllHolly she wouldn’t do it, said not before 25 weeks and now I feel like crying! An overreaction I know, but just didn’t find her very supportive or friendly.
I have an appointment with the consultant obstetrician tomorrow so will see what he says/does, hopefully he’ll be more friendly as he was the one who looked after me in my last pregnancy.

@HopefulllHolly she wouldn’t do it, said not before 25 weeks and now I feel like crying! An overreaction I know, but just didn’t find her very supportive or friendly.
I have an appointment with the consultant obstetrician tomorrow so will see what he says/does, hopefully he’ll be more friendly as he was the one who looked after me in my last pregnancy.

Awwww @HopefulllHolly that fall sounds awful!! But you did amazing for trying the catch yourself & protect your bump!!
Gosh I'd have been in pieces. I'm so glad that your midwife was so lovely & supportive and made you feel better, that's really what you need!! I hope your wrist isn't too bruised & damaged and feels better soon.
The anxiety during pregnancy is so much worse than I expected!!

Ohhh thats really annoying @AnnieStar12 I think some midwives are super lovely & others not so much 🙈 I was unlucky in mine too and she wasn't supportive & wouldn't listen to the heartbeat. I had my obstetrician appointment last week who also wouldn't listen to the heartbeat but she was the loveliest lady and made me feel better about everything so that really helped.
I can see why people buy their own at home devices to hear the babies heartbeat 🤣
I hope you get to listen to the babies heartbeat at your obstetrics appointment 🤞🏼

@AnnieStar12 Thats so weird!! I don’t honestly get why they wouldn’t? Bless you I’m sorry!! Mine is a community midwife so she said any time before 26 weeks to text her and I can pop to see her for a listen and after 26 weeks to go the maternity unit. Maddening how they wouldn’t entertain it for you!

@Fluffyted Aww thank you. It was in the middle of the road which didn’t help and I just got up and burst in to tears. Not helped because I’m so anxious and hormonal at the moment. How are you doing? Hope everything is good!

@HopefulllHolly sorry you've been feeling soo anxious and to have a fall to top it off! Hopefully you've not hurt yourself too badly. On the plus side, it sounds as though you have a lovely midwife!!!

@AnnieStar12 rubbish your midwife wouldn't listen to the heartbeat and hopefully the obstetrician does!!!

I've been anxious and hormonal like I could cry at anything the last few days!!! The hospital cancelled my 20 week scan this coming Thursday. They rescheduled for Saturday but I was driving when I took the call and didn't clock the date. Annoyingly I already have plans that I can't cancel! I tried calling the antenatal ultrasound department at least 30 times over Friday and today and couldn't get through!!! So rocked up there today after work and asked them to reschedule. The receptionist was equally confused why they offered me a Saturday appointment as this isn't something they do! They also had no other appointments next week so am going to another hospital slightly further away on Tuesday. At least it's booked in and not too much longer to wait!

@DippyDuck19 Sounds like we’re both in the tearful stage! Bless you. Sounds like a nightmare with the appointment and not ideal you’ve had to delay it but not too much longer. I don’t count the weekends anyway so you only have a short week this week and before you know it it’ll be Tuesday! Mines on Weds next week 😊 How come they cancelled the first one anyway?

Oh yeah I’ll be fine - my hand is black but at least I landed on that and not flat on my back like I should have! And yes my community midwife is the nicest lady - I think she’s roughly my age and just very sweet and understanding. I’m really lucky to have someone so nice! I think I felt baby move on Saturday but since then I’ve not felt anything so my anxiety has been awful ever since. I just got home and having a lie down and I think I can feel her now though. Can’t wait until they are strong movements though so I can calm down a bit.

@HopefulllHolly yeah I have a busy weekend this weekend so will make the time go quicker!!! We also have an appointment at mamas & papas to try out prams and car seats. Wanted to have the scan beforehand but never mind, it's not like we are buying anything yet.
That's exciting you've felt baby girl move!!! Don't worry about how strong the movements are or how often. When I first started feeling movements they were soo faint and every 3-4 days. They'll get stronger and more frequent. I now feel baby every day usually in the morning and then after 6pm he has a mad hour! Wouldn't say they're like kicks yet but definitely more noticeable than before and still can't feel anything from the outside much to DPs disappointment! The joys of having an anterior placenta.

@DippyDuck19 It’ll go quickly I’m sure! We’re already at Wednesday tomorrow! I’ve kind of picked out pram and newborn car seat but I’ll be interested in hearing what you pick! I’ve basically picked the lightest pram and the safest car seat (but my god the car seat is expensive for something that won’t last a long time!!)
Thats so good you feel baby every day! Must be much more reassuring when you have that. So exciting! I was looking today and baby at 19 weeks is about a foot long - that’s crazy to me! Feels like that’s massive!