IUI & Fertility in SSC

[solanks]

Hi everyone,

I've struggled to find any groups that are focussed specifically on same sex couples trying to conceive (that do not have any fertility issues).

My partner and I are currently on round three of IUI using donor sperm. The first two tries we did we attempted the natural route (so no medication and no ovulation trigger injection). We decided to go down the medicated route on our third try and are currently in the two week wait, waiting for our results today!

This whole process has been emotionally, physically and financially challenging, so much more than we ever expected, and we would love to hear from other same sex couples on this topic who are in a similar situation to ours. We want to exchange stories, offer each other support, give advice and also recommendations (as there is so much conflicting information out there and each clinic's protocols vary too, which we found bizarre).

Looking forward to hearing your stories; be they successful, unsuccessful, or even if you are completely new to this journey ✨

PS. I have started bookmarking baby things on eBay and Facebook Marketplace... we do already have some baby things but I draw the line at buying a pram already. Does anyone else do this?

Wondering what everyone's thoughts are on trigger shots. Necessary? Depends on numbers?

Again it's one of those "research is mostly with infertile people" problems so I'm hoping there's some wisdom here.

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick I found it so difficult not to look into baby bits when my partner and I started our IUI treatments last year. I saw myself slowly wondering into the baby aisles in supermarkets and also got so close to reserving a bundle of goods including a pram as it was such a good second-hand deal and figured it would save us money down the line! However, when our first and second attempt failed I stopped all of it as I felt it started to add pressure to me and the process and it also started to toy with my emotions a bit. It's such a personal journey for us all and I think it's important to do what feels right to you :) x

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick The trigger shot really helps when it comes to timing insemination and better controlling ovulation. We only had it on 1 out of our 3 attempts, but if we were to repeat them all again, we would definitely have it on more of those attempts. We felt that when we did take it on that last try it alleviated some of the stress and worry that comes with trying to get the timing right for IUI insemination.

@Quickdraw23 Lovely to hear from you again and thanks for dropping in :) I hope all is well with you x

Hoping everyone else is getting on ok with their journeys ✨

This month is going soo slow for my partner and I! We are literally counting down the days to our appointment at the end of Feb 😩

Thanks @Twomumfamily all good here, just awaiting some blood tests next month to inform our next steps.

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick similar to @solanks i had a cot bookmarked and did find myself scrolling a bit for baby stuff, but I got deleted everything and stopped looking when our first couple of embryo transfers failed, as it was a bit too painful. I’m not going to look again until one of us is 12 weeks pregnant i think. But it’s really fun imaging things and there’s nothing wrong with it if you enjoy it 😊

one of my lovely friends has very gently let me know she’s pregnant today. Her wife had a baby a couple of years ago. They are the loveliest people and I’m so happy for them. I am fully determined not to let my own poor experience so far make me bitter towards others. I really don’t want to be like that.

Thanks for the reassurance of normality @solanks and @Quickdraw23 ! For us it's been helpful to really think about some of our options - like cot/crib/moses basket and bottle warming/making systems - ahead of time. But it's very difficult to not get carried away and actually buy things before we're even pregnant. We are thinking of decorating the room soon though, because I think with the fumes I wouldn't want that going on when pregnant or with a baby, so it's a balance. I've officially started my "admin cycle" now, so I'll be having some blood tests and scans this month ahead of our first attempt cycle mid Feb.

Update from me: 2 negative tests today (I thought I maybe saw a faint line on one but may have been line eyes). Also had some spotting this afternoon/evening so unless it's relatively late implantation bleeding (I'm around 12/13 DPO based on when the trigger shot was) then I think I'm out this month. I got spotting the day before my period last month, never usually do so not sure if the fertility hormones have impacted on it. Also didn't think I'd get spotting/a period on progesterone, I assumed it would start a few days after I stopped it if I had negative tests but we'll see! Feeling a bit down, but it's only attempt 2 I guess, so if AF does start we'll have another attempt next cycle. If AF hasn't arrived tomorrow I'll do another test and then probably stop the progesterone pessaries if it's negative still. And then contact the clinic on Monday.

Sending lots of positivity to everyone!

@strawberrylaces12 sorry to hear about the negative result. Whether it’s attempt 2 or 6, it’s still hard as we all carry that hope with us. Wishing you luck that the next rounds the one.

@strawberrylaces12 sorry to hear about the negative tests. Can I ask - did your clinic ask you to test on a specific day? I think mine is quite strict about waiting 14 days because not all tests are good this early.

@Ivffirsttimer7 thank you!

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick yeah it was to test yesterday (14 days after the treatment and trigger shot). Also tested again today just to make sure, and it was negative. More spotting too this morning which I think is going to lead to full AF in the next day or two. I'll stop the progesterone pessaries as of today so that'll probably lead to AF arriving properly.

@strawberrylaces12 Sorry to hear that you had a negative test, it honestly is so hard every time as @Ivffirsttimer7 said!

I had my egg retrieval on Friday, it went well and I felt fine straight after, however the last two days I have been nauseous and oh the bloat is so painful, they really didn’t prepare me. Just bloating today though which is a relief.

I didn’t get overstimulated so I can do a fresh transfer on Wednesday (fingers crossed we have at least one blast) just hoping this bloat isn’t mild OHSS.

@Ivffirsttimer7 Did you get very bloated after your retrieval and (if so) how long did it last?

@Twomumfamily yes. Bloated and sore. Had it on the Monday and felt ok by the Thursday evening. Were you happy with the amount of eggs retrieved? Did you get an update or do they leave till 5 days. We got the fertilisation update the next day and then they put them
away and don’t check till day 5 at the clinic we used. So we only knew we were transferring on our journey down! I remember lucozade and lots of protein helping after the retrieval.

Sorry to hear about your negative test @strawberrylaces12 it’s very hard. Hope you can have a restorative few days.

the bloat is rough @Twomumfamily ! I looked 3 months pregnant after my retrieval. Drinking lots of fluids helped. I felt pretty normal by day 5.

AF has now officially started, as expected. Just emailed the clinic to arrange the next cycle.

@Twomumfamily thank you! Great about the egg retrieval. Really hope that the bloating etc. settles soon!

@Quickdraw23 Thank you. We had friends over this evening and ordered pizza which was really nice. Just going to do lots of self care.

Also our clinic has counselling appointments included in the service so I've asked about accessing them just to see if it may help to talk through things.

@Ivffirsttimer7 and @Quickdraw23 Thank you, I honestly was not prepared for the bloat. It’s calmed down now and I am starting to feel more like myself - phew! Thank you both for your reassurance, I was starting to go down a panic spiral!

I was happy with the retrieval, they got 15 eggs and 11 fertilised with conventional IVF. We also don’t get a day 3 update we are just going in for our transfer on Wed this week, I guess if they haven’t called to cancel it we have one to transfer? I am trying to stay cautiously optimistic but aware that nothing is guaranteed, so just really hoping at least one or two make it to day 5!

@strawberrylaces12 Glad you managed to have a nice evening. It is definitely worth reaching out to the counselling service if you are struggling. It is such a hard journey and can also be a long one, so it is important to look after yourself!

@strawberrylaces12 So sorry to hear this. I hope the company of friends (and pizza!) helped distract you for a bit last night. Great that your clinic offers counselling and I agree that talking things through can only be a good thing. Is this service free or paid for?

Hope your Day 1-3 scans etc for Round 3 all go ok ✨

@solanks thank you yeah it was a really nice evening. It's included with the NHS service thankfully. Obviously we have to pay for the IUI part but the counselling is included for anyone even if they don't have to self fund which is great!

So I won't have scans until day 11 or 12, is day 1-3 if it's medicated? But yeah hopefully they'll be fine they usually are 😊

@strawberrylaces12 That's amazing. If you do go ahead with it I hope it goes well :)

My partner had scans on day 1-3 and another day 11-12 I think (from memory). She definitely had a scan in the first few days for all 3 of our attempts though (unmedicated and medicated). I think it's just one of those protocol things per clinic and it just so happens that our clinic scan that early on.

Hi everyone hope you are all having a good week.

I had my embryo transfer today which is very surreal, it was a little more painful than the IUI's but I assume that is because it is still tender from the retrieval. We had 4 good quality embryos (one implanted so 3 to freeze) which we were super happy with and some more that they are going to watch overnight and may catch up.

I feel very chilled actually, after the failed IUI's knowing at least there is an embryo there I feel much less stressed and more in control! What will be will be.

We haven't told anyone IRL that we have done the transfer, just so we can process whatever the outcome is together, just us. I have to say it is really nice to have this space to talk about it! So thank you everyone!!

xx

@Twomumfamily how exciting, good luck!! Do you have to take any particular medication during the tww?

I've been ill the last few days and I'm off work, some sort of chest infection/asthma flare up (usually my asthma is mild and well controlled). I've not been off work ill for ages so although I do get that guilty feeling of being off I think I just needed to allow my body to rest a bit. Especially with everything going on with the fertility stuff. I really need to let myself relax more in general, maybe this is a bit of a kick up the bum/reminder! My next fertility appointment is the end of next week so fingers crossed I'm all better by then.

@Twomumfamily So pleased to hear that the appt went well and 3 (possibly more) frozen blasts is amazing! Keeping everything crossed for you on the next stage of your journey ✨

@strawberrylaces12 There is something going around here atm and I've also felt a little rough the last day or two. I hope you feel better soon and manage to get some good rest xx