IUI & Fertility in SSC

[solanks]

Hi everyone,

I've struggled to find any groups that are focussed specifically on same sex couples trying to conceive (that do not have any fertility issues).

My partner and I are currently on round three of IUI using donor sperm. The first two tries we did we attempted the natural route (so no medication and no ovulation trigger injection). We decided to go down the medicated route on our third try and are currently in the two week wait, waiting for our results today!

This whole process has been emotionally, physically and financially challenging, so much more than we ever expected, and we would love to hear from other same sex couples on this topic who are in a similar situation to ours. We want to exchange stories, offer each other support, give advice and also recommendations (as there is so much conflicting information out there and each clinic's protocols vary too, which we found bizarre).

Looking forward to hearing your stories; be they successful, unsuccessful, or even if you are completely new to this journey ✨

@solanks yes I agree the how of an announcement is very impactful.

good on you pushing forward with your complaint. I feel like we should have done the same but the admin And stress of just attempting the treatment I have found draining so haven’t pushed forward with complaining which I should have.

i have found out a bit more on the protocol. It starts on cycle day 19 and you take norethisterone (sp?) for 7-14 days and then once you stop you get a withdrawal bleed and then 5 days after stopping it you get scanned and start stims for 10-12 days. Apparently this is to help control the timing of everything. I don’t really get the point of the norethisterone if you have an iron clad regular period like I do? I’ll have to ask the nurse when I eventually speak to them.

annoyingly this month I can’t start because the timings just do not fall in a manageable way, so it’s going to be another month before I actually get started on anything.

on the to do list this week is some more admin (🙄) and arranging some more bloods that are needed, so that will keep me busy.

Hope everyone is doing ok!

@Quickdraw23 Just wanted to hop on here and message you as I’ve just found out that my friend’s wife is about to start this same treatment, and referred to it as the long protocol. Like you, she will be on norethisterone for 10 days, then you have a bleed, and the first scan on day 3 (subsequently followed by stims as normal). She said the following about it: “The pills basically just put you into an even space hormonal-wise so they can predict the period rather than going off a natural cycle. The theory is then all of the follicles can come to the surface rather than just those auto selected by the body.”

She knows a little about it as she had one cycle already as she was donating her eggs ✨ This is her second cycle for herself now.

Not sure if any of this is helpful but it just made me think of you when she was speaking about it.

I hope the next month goes quickly for you (I’m sure it will as you sound quite busy) ☺️✨

Thanks so much @solanks that is really helpful!

Just an update: AF arrived today (test day was tomorrow) so our 6th and final IUI wasn't successful unfortunately. We'll be referred on for IVF so probably won't be a huge amount to update on for a bit as there will be a bit of time for the referral to go through etc. I'm feeling really down and disappointed of course. I'm going to try to embrace the natural break from it all that will occur. My body will have a break from hormones etc. (as we've done 6 IUIs back to back) and I'm going to try to focus on other things in life as much as I can. Not easy when I've always wanted to be a Mum. I guess IVF may provide some insight into why it hasn't worked so far, with extra tests etc., or perhaps we were just unlucky. But yeah, sadly not good news to update with but all part of the process I guess.

I hope everyone else is getting on okay 💕

So sorry to hear this @strawberrylaces12 it’s really difficult for you. Do you know what the waitlist is like? Hopefully not too long for you.

I’ve started learning a new craft skill (I am not crafty at all but DP is and I agreed to join in) and we have picked a really good tv series that has lots of episodes. It has helped to have a couple of really absorbing things to do over the last few weeks while we have been waiting around for news/stuff. But I empathise totally on it being difficult to focus on any thing else when you are going through this x

So sorry to read this news @strawberrylaces12 😓I know it couldn't have been easy to do 6 back-to-back rounds of IUI and I truly admire your strength and resilience. I know that everyone's path to parenthood is different, but I think what helped me a little during our knockbacks is knowing that we were not alone on this journey.

I hope the wait for IVF isn't too long and I hope that during this period you take some time for yourself, and as you said, focus on some other things✨

If you need to chat or anything feel free to DM me. We're all here for you xx

I've just caught up with the whole thread. Sorry to hear that the sixth IUI hasn't worked. Look after yourself.
I'll be starting reciprocal ivf with my wife soon. We've had all the checks and organised donor sperm. We're both going to have the stimulation rounds first as they usually do freeze all for reciprocal cycles at this clinic anyway and i'd rather have embryos in place ready to go. I'm mostly anxious about age (i'm 33 now), so having them all frozen now makes me feel more secure even though nothing is ever guaranteed. We're in Ireland so things are a bit different here. No funded anything, so we always knew it would be private and pricey. Fingers crossed it all goes well now. Quite nervous about all the medication.

Thanks everyone! I think once the IVF referral is made (I don't think it'll take too long for them to put the referral in as they were already preparing paperwork just in case) it's pretty quick according to the IVF clinic information evening. They contact within days of receiving the referral apparently which is good. Obviously there will be the initial consultation and tests etc so we're looking at June at the earliest if not July.

Although I'm glad for a bit of a break I am an impatient person and just like to push on with things. Probably not ideal as I'm feeling pretty burnt out at the moment. I've tried to work on it but it's just the sort of person I am 😂 I think I'm also keen to see if extra tests reveal any issues as there haven't been any issues raised previously but I'm obviously questioning my fertility a bit at this point.

I've officially pushed for a formal complaint about the delay with the funding in our region and I've also emailed our local MP (not that that will do anything). But if no one raises these issues then they'll never know. We've had to spend about £8,500 so far on IUI (which hasn't given us any success) just to be eligible for one round of IVF, it's madness. At least our IVF round will be funded, so it'll be a break from paying each month. But if that first IVF round isn't successful we're back to paying thousands. It just pisses me off and obviously even more so with how I'm feeling at the moment. At least I'm directing my frustration into something worthwhile with the complaint. It probably won't benefit us now anyway but I want others to be able to benefit from better funding. I just don't want them to keep delaying and delaying it. Otherwise people are going to age out of the system as they'll be waiting for the funding to come in and then they may be too old to be eligible for treatment.

Anyway sorry rant over, it feels good to type all that out! Sorry I've not been very supportive in here recently, just feeling mentally drained and pretty down. Also feeling stressed with work. But onwards to IVF I guess! Sending lots of positive vibes everyone's way 💕

@rivierliedje Hey! How exciting that you'll be starting your reciprocal ivf soon! With reciprocal ivf do they do the long or short protocol and do you know which one you'll both be having?

From the sounds of things your partner will be carrying first and then you'll go a little later on? My partner and I started our journey officially last year, though we bought our donor sperm in 2021 (she is currently 35 and I'm 34), we both want to go through pregnancy and she is going first as she is older with a lower AMH. I won't have much time once things progress on my partner's side, so I totally get why you want to get the ball rolling sooner rather than later! I will really have to get my skates on when the time comes.

Sorry that there is absolutely no support where you are in terms of funding btw. Hopefully that will change in the near future.

Blimey already been contacted by the IVF clinic to book in my follicle count scan, AMH test, and then a consultant appointment the following week at the end of May. Got a lot of forms to fill in now.

@rivierliedje best of luck with the reciprocal IVF and with the stims, egg retrieval etc.! Such a shame that there is no funding at all. It's bad enough that it's only one IVF after funding x amount of IUIs here. I really hope they bring in funding for Ireland soon. Is the lack of funding the same for cis straight couples too?

Thanks. I will be carrying first (hopefully), but we are doing the stimulation rounds at the same time so hopefully all going well we'll have embryos from my eggs ready to go for my wife for a second child later on.

There is funding for one round of IVF which only came in in September. The restrictions are very tight though: no donor sperm or eggs (which is why we don't qualify), strict BMI limits, under 40, alcohol limits, no children together etc.

Our clinic is also very quick at communication, which is great.

Hi everyone just joining this thread. My wife and I had our son via IUI a few years ago and are now TTC via IVF for our second child as two cycles of IUI were unfortunately not successful. Unfortunately it resulted in a chemical pregnancy and now we're looking at another 10K and going through it again. It's a tough gig and we're trying to remind ourselves how lucky we are to have one beautiful child etc.

Hi @rivierliedje very exciting to hear about your plans. Really hope it all goes well for you both. Totally empathise with the lack of funding situation as we live in a part of the UK where we have to self fund also, and it is so expensive! Fingers crossed for you!

hi @Catwoman1985. Congratulations on your first child! very sorry to hear about the last two IUIs and the chemical, it sounds really tough going. Was the chemical pregnancy after IVF or IUI?

great to hear they have at least been speedy with getting started on your initial IVF tests @strawberrylaces12 !

How's everyone getting on? 😊

I had my AFC (follicle count) and general scan today at the IVF clinic which was all good. The consultant seemed pleased that I have a good amount of follicles and looking healthy. Had my blood test for AMH so should get that result back when we see the consultant again next week to discuss the treatment plan.

The consultant was really nice and said from what she's seen so far prognosis looks good (obviously need to see what the AMH etc. looks like too). She put my mind at rest about how even though we've had 6 unsuccessful IUI attempts it's well within normal fertility remits... which I did know but nice to have the consultant say that, as I was getting a bit worried about my fertility. I didn't sleep well last night worrying about it all but now I'm feeling more excitement than worry/dread which is good!

Really glad your appointment went well! All sounding very positive! Sounds like things should be moving quite quickly for you as well

I am sitting waiting for my period which is two days overdue 😢 I never feel brilliant in myself when that happens, I feel all bloated and tender, so hoping for its arrival soon for my physical comfort as well as it being the start of the treatment cycle.

@strawberrylaces12 Hey! Really impressed with how quickly your NHS funded IVF turnaround has been 👏Also great to hear about your follicle count and I hope that your AMH comes back good also. How are you feeling about change over from IUI to IVF? We never wanted to do IVF but when we made that decision to move over and started the process it turned out to not be as scary as we thought 😊

@Quickdraw23 Sorry AF is running late though I am sure she'll show herself very soon. Feels like only the other day when I said that the wait time will go quickly, and here we are :)

I don't want to go into too much detail right now about our ivf journey, but what I can say is that things are going well so far and we are 'waiting' to see how they progress 😄We have an important appt next Wednesday so will likely touch base around then.

My best wishes to everyone who is about to start or going through treatment at the moment. Baby dust to you all ✨🤗

@solanks best of luck for next week!

@Quickdraw23 I hope you can get going soon. The waiting is just excruciating.

@strawberrylaces12 that's great news on your IVF appointment!

Welcome newer people! Although I'm mostly lurking in this thread now I'm pregnant, I'm keeping my fingers very crossed and am heavily invested in all your journeys 🍀❤️

Small update from us. Our little boy was born last week and is doing well. He is absolutely perfect. I’m departing this thread now but I wish you all the best in your journeys.

Thanks @ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick 😃

How many weeks are you now? 😮

@solanks 15 😮

@Mumplus01 congratulations 🎉

Hi Everyone,

I had taken a break for a few months from Mumsnet and how lovely to come back to exciting updates from everyone!

@Mumplus01 Congratulations on your baby boy, glad everyone is doing well, lots of love to the three of you!

@solanks Fingers crossed for you and your partner!!

@strawberrylaces12 Glad all your pre-testing has gone well. It is nerve-racking going into IVF but once it gets started it actually goes quite quickly (or it did for us). Glad your funding came though quickly, do you know when you are able to start the cycle? Wishing you the best!

@Quickdraw23 Ah the dreaded wait! Hopefully AF will come soon, how are you feeling about this cycle? Sending you lots and lots of positive thoughts.

Quick update from me... Unfortunately, my injury is ongoing and I am going to be unable to carry any time soon as still in physio/rehab. So after lots of going back and forth, we are going to move onto reciprocal IVF and my wife is going to carry my embryo!

Bit of a change of plan but feeling rather lucky to have two uteruses (one perk of being a same-sex couple I guess). Everything is ready to go just have to wait for the embryos to have been in the freezer for 6 months (some weird rule) and then we can try another transfer, so will hopefully be trying again in the Summer.