IUI & Fertility in SSC

[solanks]

Hi everyone,

I've struggled to find any groups that are focussed specifically on same sex couples trying to conceive (that do not have any fertility issues).

My partner and I are currently on round three of IUI using donor sperm. The first two tries we did we attempted the natural route (so no medication and no ovulation trigger injection). We decided to go down the medicated route on our third try and are currently in the two week wait, waiting for our results today!

This whole process has been emotionally, physically and financially challenging, so much more than we ever expected, and we would love to hear from other same sex couples on this topic who are in a similar situation to ours. We want to exchange stories, offer each other support, give advice and also recommendations (as there is so much conflicting information out there and each clinic's protocols vary too, which we found bizarre).

Looking forward to hearing your stories; be they successful, unsuccessful, or even if you are completely new to this journey ✨

@strawberrylaces12 I am so sorry to hear that this round didn't work, it really is mentally draining. Sending you and your partner lots of love. It is hard to stay positive during this process, but that's the right thing to think, at least you are trying. Fingers crossed you are able to get a new donor quickly and you can go again next month.

Have the clinic mentioned how many IUI's they would recommend? Will the next one be the 4th?

@Twomumfamily thank you, yeah it's so hard. I briefly thought maybe we should take a month off or something but tbh then it will be a definite not pregnant situation so I'd rather keep trying for now.

It's usually 6 before considering alternative treatment like IVF I think they said. Yeah it'll be 4th next time. So maybe we'll do another 3 with another donor and then rethink if it doesn't work. It's frustrating when people who don't want to get pregnant do and those who really want to don't. I know the odds are quite small each month (as would a hetro couple chances each month) but I did have a bit of a wobble like I hope there's no unknown fertility issues going on. Obviously I've had the usual tests and all fine but there may be something. I know 3 cycles is still early days though.

I think I'm just feel quite mentally exhausted from this and work, I can't wait for my annual leave next week! 😅

So sorry @strawberrylaces12 it’s really really hard 😞 it is still very early days, and not necessarily a sign that there is anything wrong, though I know that in itself can feel very frustrating! I do have a friend who conceived on her 4th iui, so fingers toes crossed for you.

In hope you do loads of really nice and distracting things over this weekend x

@Quickdraw23 Thank you! I had a good cry and we went for a walk to get some air and I do feel quite a lot better overall now. All of the unknowns are just hard aren't they! That's good to hear about your friend. I know it's early days my brain just jumps ahead and catastrophises. I really appreciate this thread for support and being able to rant. My wife is so supportive but so chill about everything, I'm so jealous I wish I was like that 😅

And yes got lots of nice plans coming up seeing friends and family thankfully. Have you?

Sending you and your wife lots of love and strength for your next round @strawberrylaces12 ✨

Is it definitely decided that you will go for a new donor? If so, hope that process goes smoothly and quickly for you both!

@solanks thank you! It's not 100% locked in (or being mandated) but I think we will do just to see if it helps. We've already had a few different options sent through so going to have a proper look and choose over the weekend. But potentially seen one that we may go for. Thankfully as the clinic have the lab on site once we choose that's it sorted. Not like we have to wait for it to be ordered in or anything!

@strawberrylaces12 sorry to see your latest news. Sounds like you have a plan for your next cycle. I'm sorry if you've said before, but is there an option to increase or change any medication associate with the IUI?

@Quickdraw23 I'm rooting for you having better communication and/or a new clinic! They really should respond to you faster than that.

@Twomumfamily best of luck! Double trouble

Our latest news is we had an early follicle scan today (CD7) and it looks like one side is slowly gearing up for ovulation mid next week - I have 8mm follicle on one side with a couple of smaller ones there too. Lining is about where they want it to be. I sometimes ovulate very early hence a scan on day 7 (they wanted CD8 but don't do scans on Sundays). They seem happy with progress, so I'll be back again on Tuesday (CD10) so long as I don't peak sooner! Seems ok. Clear blue still giving me empty circles which bodes well.

Also, I feel weirdly smug that it does look like the brief pain I had on one side last month was ovulation pain (as that side isn't doing much at the moment).

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick thank you! They have been great so far, very efficient. I was feeling very pleased yesterday as I have managed to arrange 2 out of 3 baseline blood tests needed prior to my first consultation through the GP, and book the AMH test at a local private hospital, saving me a journey and the £200 cost of going the new clinic for them. I’m actually still £65 down for the AMH test, and no more pregnant than I was before that little burst of admin, so it goes to show how the psychology of “doing stuff” can make you feel better 🤣 It at least felt like a bit of a shift in the inertia anyway!

glad to hear things all looking good for you in the lining/follicle department! Is CD10 when you would have the iui normally? Or is that a further check?

good luck on the new donor front @strawberrylaces12 ! We bought 4 straws from our donor at the beginning of this process, so we could each have a couple of goes, so I am hoping we don’t have to end up changing, but it’s perhaps different with iui vs ivf.

Hope you’re all having a good weekend. We had a day off yesterday (a “just because day”!) and went to a thermal spa, had a pub lunch and bought some cheese. So generally keeping distracted from it all as lunch as poss 😆 we’re off to see All of Us Strangers this afternoon. I’ve heard it’s quite haunting but it’s had brill reviews.

anyway, well done folks, you’re all doing excellently 💙

@Quickdraw23 Sounds like great progress!

CD10 is the usual first scan day for checking follicle progress, with a usual insemination of CD12 or later I think. As this is the first IUI I've done there's no usual for me, but I've tracked my ovulation for a while and I've had a couple of CD9/10 ovulations so we went early to make we didn't miss the moment. It makes for a good benchmark regardless!

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick by medication do you mean stims? I haven't needed a medicated cycle as I develop follicles and ovulate naturally. I have had progesterone pessaries to support the luteal phase but tbh I'm not sure if they've done much/helped. But I'll ask and see if there is anything else that may help. I think it can just be down to chance and 3 attempts is still relatively low in chance I guess if we look at stats per attempt. Fingers crossed for the next few. Good news about your scan! 😊

@Quickdraw23 Thank you! We've now chosen the donor and they've got proven fertility so who knows maybe that'll help. Fingers crossed for the straws that you've got! That sounds like a brilliant day what a great idea 🥰 yeah we're away this weekend to see friends so that's been really lovely to keep me positive and distracted. I'm also on leave next week thankfully as I was finding work very busy so having a week off will be nice, lots of nice plans in with family and friends. It makes such a difference having nice (but not too busy) plans in, doesn't it. Really good for the mind and soul!

@strawberrylaces12 I guess I do mean stims. A stimulated cycle is a medicated cycle at my clinic, sorry for the confusion. Unmedicated would be literally just the sperm going in to you, nothing else taken. Any luck choosing donor #2?

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick at our clinic medicated refers to stims too I think which I don't need. I just wondered if there was any other medication that would be offered at some clinics. I'm still doing unmedicated. The progesterone was more of an additional thing that may help/to try alongside.

Yeah we've chosen another donor now. They've got proven fertility so maybe that will help, it might not of course as a lot of it is chance and also could be something on my side. But trying to remember it's still early days and relax a bit more about things, easier said than done! 😅

CD10 scan this morning, and I have a follicle at 14mm. I'm taking that as a good sign. I haven't peaked yet on the Clear Blues but I suspect either this evening or tomorrow that might happen. Soon! Aaaaah!

Ooh that's great. I hope the peak arrives when you'd like it/when is best for you! Fingers crossed with it all, keep us updated 😊

@strawberrylaces12 That's great news about your new donor and it seems to have been a fairly quick and hassle-free process for you both too!

Like you, my partner's tests all came back clear, though we still got recommended (and opted for) a medicated cycle of IUI (we did 2 natural and 1 medicated). She was on a low dose of letrozol (2.5mg) that was taken over 5 days. The one thing I found advantageous of doing a medicated cycle is that it was far more closely monitored and we felt that we had much more control, which we liked. I think she also had an extra follicle grow too from memory. I'm not saying this is the best or right thing to do, but if we were to go back and do them again, we'd have probably gone medicated from the start.

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick Ahh that's great progress! Bet you cannot wait to get your peak and it sounds like it'll be very soon (if not already) :)

@solanks that all makes sense. I've had two follicles the last couple of months (likely from the trigger shot as I only had one the first month) so I'm not sure if with extra medication if I may over stimulate and get too many follicles and they'd cancel it? I also currently seem to have found a sweet spot of going in on day 12 and being either at peak or close to peak. I think if I needed to go in lots of times each cycle trying to fit that around work would cause me more stress as I'd have to cancel appointments (I work for the NHS) which I'd struggle with. But I will try and discuss it this cycle to see what they say for future cycles as it may be beneficial still. Thank you for that info, definitely something for us to consider and discuss going forward 😊

@strawberrylaces12 Possibly! I think this is why they started us off very low as they didn't want to run the risk of abandoning a cycle due to overstimulation. It sounds like you have a great plan in place that works for you and I'm a big believer in advocating for yourself on this journey. Our consultant actually pushed for medicated cycles from the very start, but we were adamant (and insisted) on trying at least one or two natural first.

@solanks ah that's interesting. I'll mention it again to our clinic but before they had said I didn't need a medicated cycle. But worth me bringing it up again for any future cycles. Thank you for explaining it 😊

@strawberrylaces12 The variety of advice/protocols given per clinic will never cease to amaze me lol!

All the best on your next cycle and keep us posted :)

We have our nhs appt coming up soon and can't bloody wait to know what comes of it and what our plan will be from there.

Still no peak, but I keep reminding myself I'm only on CD11. This is my third day in a ray of "high fertility" flashing smileys. Third day of significant EWCM too. I'm testing twice a day so it's possible this evening's will be a peak, but I'm doubtful. I took a sneaky test this afternoon and it was still only high fertility. Bizarre. But in a way I think it's "careful what you wish for" because judging by my follicle growth I'd only be at about 16-17mm now so that's a little on the small side/borderline.

I keep all the sticks in a row so I can see progression and it's definitely not a faulty stick reader. I have a photo of my tests from last month and the peak test was so very clear and much stronger. Who knows. They booked in a "just in case" scan on Friday in case I haven't peaked by then, so either way I'll have more info by the end of the working week.

Hoping to have a strong pair of ovulation test lines later this evening or tomorrow morning.

Loving all the information and discussion about medicated vs. unmedicated cycles @solanks and @strawberrylaces12 . Very helpful. Our clinic suggested it was pretty much up to us - my numbers looked good enough for them to try unmedicated but I think they'd be open to us switching it up if we have no joy after a few cycles.

fingers crossed do you @ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick !

my clinic were also reluctant to let me try medicated iui in case of overstimulating @solanks

great news on the donor @strawberrylaces12! I also work for the NHS and have clinics which I hate cancelling at the last minute during fertility treatment. With IVF it is perhaps slightly more predictable when you will need a scan/transfer so I got quite good at guessing which days to block out and made lots of apologetic phone calls and juggled lots of appointments when it came to crunch time!

my first couple of blood tests came back normal this week, that’s my only update 😂 I am getting my AmH done tomorrow which will be interesting to see if it has changed from this time last year, but other than that it’s quite quite down this end at the mo.

I’m keeping hopeful for everyone 👍🏼

Peak! Thunderbirds are go!

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick Good luck for your IUI - Fingers are crossed for you!