Fresh IVF cycle Negative test at 6dp5dt

[Miarez]

Hi everyone,
This is my second IVF attempt, the first one was last year and it was so emotionally draining, I couldn't get myself to try again until this month. I am now 6 days post blastocyst transfer and I took a pregnancy test which came back negative. I know it's still early but I see so many testing positive from 5 days post transfer so I feel really deflated today. Did anyone test positive later on?

Thank you xx

@CoCoaButter85 I don't think a couple of glasses of prosecco would have caused it to fail, but I understand as I question myself a lot when things don't work out. For a lot of the time I blamed myself for maybe not trying hard enough ttc. I also eat sugary things more than I should, but overall healthy! I had a really good and proactive weekend, however just today I've started crying in a conversation with my friend, as even though I told her I didn't want to talk about ivf, she continued asking me questions about it and whether I should go somewhere else for further tests, if i should try another clinic. I absolutely know they mean well and try to help but I don't want to talk to anyone who isn't going through this as they don't have enough knowledge or advice that can help. I'm also going to ask the consultant so many questions this time around and will let you know what they say. My appointment is luckily this Tuesday. Cannot wait for the weather to cool down a bit! Hope you had a good weekend too!

@Miarez - I'm so sorry. I haven't told anyone yet this didn't work out (apart from my husband course). I'm sure your friends don't mean anything bad but unless you've gone through this yourself it is really hard to understand how hard this can be. I am visiting my parents next week. I mentioned them we are going through IVF but didn't give any further details. Have not decided yet if I want them to know or not. Haven't decided yet.

Next Tuesday! That's super quick. Hopefully you will be able to get some answers. Let me know how it went.

I was thinking about changing consultant. My clinic is well rated and the best I can afford so not sure if I will do anything about that. I think most specialists at the clinics are good and more or less they all follow the same principles. Only when things don't work out they start changing something. I asked this at the very beginning of the IVF. My doctor said that 2 transfers not working is bad luck and only after 2 failed ones they will see what do you diffent

@CoCoaButter85 I didn't tell anyone this round until I had to cancel a very big trip last minute as my doctor said I'm showing signs of ohss and recommended I delayed my trip 🥹 that was another hard hit to take but can only blame it on my bad planning. I have now told everyone I won't speak about it anymore, as I get very emotional each time.

@Miarez - probably for the best. I think sometimes talking about it just makes it worse. Especially if it brings you to tears than what's the point. Nobody can really change anything apart from the clinic (even that's not guaranteed) and you are already taking all the steps that you can.

I even started thinking that maybe it's karma punishing me for my past mistakes!! It's unfair and we just need to go through this. Some people have it easy and some people don't. We are just part of the less lucky ones.

@CoCoaButter85 omg even I was thinking this, that it's karma punishing me for something. But then again I remember that everyone has different struggles, and our is getting pregnant unfortunately. But we still have good chances and our time will come!

I'm staying optimistic but at the same time preparing myself for every possible eventuality. At least we are going through treatment so that's a step forward! Try to keep the tears away, do something that you enjoy tonight (I'm currently reading a detective novel!) and let's catch up on Tuesday 💐

@CoCoaButter85 my appointment was on 10th October, I got it completely mixed up!!!😂

@Miarez haha well done 😂

I was thinking about it yesterday and was hoping for some good updates! Oh well, it seems I will be sharing my update with you first after all

I was thinking about sugar intake exercise etc. I had some prosecco over the weekend and enjoying a cup of coffee now. See it as little pleasures more than anything. But should probably start cutting down. Yesterday realised that gained some weight (not overweight but my shorts are getting bit tight). Are you getting into healthy lifestyle now or waiting for consultation? It's important to be healthy but I don't think it is worth limiting myself completely.

@CoCoaButter85 I was really on another planet!
I have signed up to a gym and went to a class yesterday and I am so sore today but I love it. Since ttc I have put on weight and not exercised much and I was becoming unhappy about it. I'm taking this as an opportunity to get fit again. So plan is yes to get fit, eat healthy (mediterranean diet to reduce inflamation), take my prenatals and optibac probiotics, but I'm not going overboard either.

@Miarez so I had my consultation today (rescheduled it to earlier). So the doctor advised to have scratching of my lining through hysteroscopy which would hopefully help implantation. He basically explained that 85% of failed implantations is due to embryo (chromosomal abnormalities) and 15% due to the rest (lining, timing of implantation etc). In his view out of 3 embryos that I have it is unlikely that all of them are of poor quality. But I think after all 3 embryos are used up the he will advise to test next batch. he also said that I can start treatment straight away. But I had food poisoning over the weekend so we agreed that it makes sense to wait for the start of next cycle

He didn't mention anything about what i did after transfer, diet etc. the only think he advised on was alcohol, coffee, smoking, prenatal vitamins+ vit D. so based on that the likelihood that we did something to stop it happening is very very low.

i don't know how i feel after the consultation.. not happy about having to spend even more money on this. but I sort of feel I just need to get on with it. the novelty has worn off a bit by now. trying to stay optimistic but open to any eventuality.

oh, and my clinic offers 1 free counsellor session so will give it a go.

how are you getting on? hopefully in high enough spirits

@CoCoaButter85 oh my, I'm sorry you had food poisoning :( how are you feeling? Thank you for keeping me updated, interesting about scratching of the lining! I will ask my doctor too! At what point do they do that? How long does the FET protocol take? Doing another transfer is exciting and hopeful, I really hope this works for you! I feel the same, novelty has worn off, annoyed that we need to spend more money but feel that I want to get on with it as well! Also annoyed I have to wait so long for the follow up appointment but then again that might be a good thing. I have been keeping myself really busy so have been going the gym and doing new things, rather that being too much in my head. Good idea re counselling, I didn't want to do it this time around but if we get bad news again I will definitely use it!

@Miarez - it wasn't full on food poisoning but upset insides and tummy for a couple of days. So decided better to wait for another period to start.

I think the scratching would happen mid next cycle. And then following cycle is when they would do the transfer. So overall month/cycle preparation and then another month is when the embryo transfer happens.

That's a good thing. Otherwise getting depressed and fat on top of everything else doesn't help. I'm trying to do the same. Also thinking of some house projects. At least organising my office to begin with as it's complete mess. Also very busy at work. Yesterday at work one of the contractors told me about the 12 week scan photo. I was like yes I'm happy for you but at the same time feeling very sorry for myself.

Wanted to ask you what are you doing with coffee? I'm a massive coffee fan so since found out that transfer failed have been indulging having a cup of coffee a day. I know I should cut it down but it gives me so much happiness.

I'm glad I can talk to you here. Don't have anyone in real life that would understand. My husband but I think he's doing it for me more than anything. I don't think he will be too devastated if this doesn't work meanwhile I will be x

@CoCoaButter85 that's a longer process than I thought, I'm not looking forward to playing the waiting game again!
Ohhh it's always upsetting for me to see a baby announcement, scan, etc. I would be happy for them if I wasn't so consumed of my own journey.
I have a coffee in the morning and I don't even feel sorry about it. I think we are going through enough to take all the joy out of life. However, after the embryo transfer my plan is to have decaf instead!

Glad we can chat here too! I can't speak to friends about it as they don't understand and always say the wrong things which end up upsetting me more. I take every question very deeply, where for them it's maybe just a question! Like " so you guys are not trying naturally anymore?" To them it's a question, to me it sounds like "so have you guys given up and taken the easy route?" ( not easy!). It's too much going on emotionally to not take things in the wrong way!

@CoCoaButter85 also, have you thought about doing acupuncture this round? I was considering doing few sessions before and after transfer.

@Miarez - I did come across accupuncture a lot. I don't think there is certain evidence that it helps but I know that some clinics even recommend it. The scratching will cost quite a bit so I don't think I will want to spend more this cycle. But might give it a go for my third transfer. Depending on what they suggest I should do.

I think it is worth trying. At least this way you know you did your best

@Miarez - so I had my free session with a counselor on Monday. It was nice to speak to someone in person who understands and has been through it herself. She was older than me so felt like speaking with older sister or aunt. (have no friends going through the same and my mother and dad had no issues whatsoever). So it was useful to have human interaction. She was of an opinion that it is ok not to speak to people about it and sort of cocoon yourself from outside world for a bit. Follow 'will this help me or harm me' approach. I said that the novelty has worn of and I just want to get on with it rather than getting too emotionally invested. Which she said is healthy attitude to have

I was also recommended to look into Fertility Network for more info which I haven't explored yet. We discussed 2ww and keeping yourself busy, occupied seems to be the best approach. So glad I had it but wouldn't be happy to pay for it just yet (it's costing a lot already)

Hope you are keeping well

@CoCoaButter85 nice to hear from you! I'm glad the counselling session was helpful and I am glad that she agrees with our approach currently. I find it easier now to say to anyone that asks me anything about ttc that I don't want to talk about it. Keeping busy is the key I think, I have been doing that and exercising as well and I find it really helps. Not sure how crazy I'll go over next time' s 2ww but I will def have to try to keep busy. I am also keen to go ahead with our next transfer, the whole wait feels like it's taking forever.

I just hope we'll manage to get a transfer before Christmas. If it's BFP we can start new year with new hopes ahead of us. And if not - at least then we can enjoy few drinks between festive period to help drown the sorrow.

I'm not eating very well but definitely keeping up with exercise routine. It certainly helps with mental health too.

It's 1st of October already. Let me know how your consultation goes when you get there. There might be

@CoCoaButter85 Almost there! Counting down the days to the appointment now! I have been researching online different types of FET protocols and how long they take and I didn't realise they take so long😅 also the trip I had to postpone due to risk oh ohss was moved to early December and I am not cancelling this again, so if the treatment falls over this period I kignt have to wait until after. When do you have the uterus scratch procedure?

@Miarez - nice to hear from you! It does take forever! I actually enjoyed having time off from IVF and not thinking about it. Not that it was very relaxing time but at least kept myself busy with different things instead. I feel my period should start anytime now (lots of sharp pains so hopefully it's not going to be horrible one). Consultation with a nurse this Thursday, so if period shows up tonight/tomorrow I think she should be able to give me an indication of a date. Will let you know after consultation.

I think you should definitely go ahead with holiday. We are already putting so much of our lives on hold. Enjoy yourself and then New Year and new beginnings. And they might be able to turn it around quickly for you. Never know! But being in hol having to take all the medication is not much fun x

@Miarez - I'm actually dreading to start all of it again. Not looking forward to it all. The medication, limiting exercise, diet, constantly thinking about it.. I know I will be fine and get through it but it was nice being able just to forget about it for a bit

@CoCoaButter85 actually you are right, I also have been enjoying focusing on something else, exercising, seeing friends, not thinking about it. So I'm def not looking forward to driving myself crazy again either and also limiting exercise ☺️☺️ one step at a time, I'll update you tomorrow!

@Miarez - good luck today! Hopefully you will get some answers!