FET/IVF - January 2023

[Jane1284]

Hey

I would love to get a group together of some of us who are undergoing IVF or FETs in Jan. I found it really helpful to have the support of those going through similar last time (Nov 2020).

My story: I am due to start my first FET in January of my one and only frozen embryo. The embryo is from a cycle in Nov 2020 when I was almost 36. I have low AMH and AFC and it was my first and only NHS round. I got 4 eggs all which miraculously fertilised, 1 made it to day 5 and was put back in with a fresh transfer. Sadly it did not stick. 1 egg was left until day 6 and it finally made it to blastocyst. It has been frozen. Rather than having a FET back then they advised me to do a banking package of 3 cycles due to my low AMH/AFC so in Jan 2021 we started our first private IVF cycle with the same clinic (Kings). Once again I was on max stims (gonal f and menopur) and it looked like we would get 4 eggs again but when I woke from EC they told me they only got 2. I had a bit of a breakdown. I was so upset going through all that including over £2k worth of drugs injected to only get two eggs. It felt even worse as I had let myself hope it would go well. Out of the 2 eggs only 1 fertilised normally. On day 3 the embryologist told me it was average quality and she wasn't sure it would be good enough to freeze on day 5 if it even made it that far. I couldn't handle the thought of going through all that mental anguish to not have anything to freeze so I made a last minute decision to go in for a day 3 fresh transfer. I had zero expectations but somehow that average embryo stuck. I was so stressed all pregnancy and worried about everything but amazingly I gave birth to my first baby in Sep 2021. He is now 14 months and I am turning 38 in 2 weeks.

Now it is time to get back on the IVF/FET train. I have been for my initial scan and blood tests. The scan was fine. Still not many follicles but not significantly worse. Waiting for a consult with the Dr next week for an update on my AMH (can't wait.... ) where she'll also decide on our protocol. I am leaning towards a medicated FET just so we can plan it a bit better. If that doesn't work then it is back to a 3 cycle package of IVF.

I hope I haven't bored anyone reading this to tears. Would be great if anyone else out there would like to be a cycle buddy? :-)

Will keep testing! This morning was darker! X

Aw it is achievable. Let me know if you have any questions as feel like I’m a veteran now. Best of luck for your cycle!x

Yay thank you! Hopefully this is the year for everyone x

Can someone please talk to me about your ivf experience. I am on day 5 of stimulation but having a really bad time as the clinic am with have limited speaking staff and the doctor I seen today was so rude that I wanted to just sit and cry. I walked out of there so fast.

I had so many questions and I felt like I was the child and she was the teacher . So many reasons why am so sad .

Today I had my first scan and she said you have about 10 follicles and all measuring 8 to 11 .

After that she said you didn't sign if you want to freeze your eggs . I said I don't want to freeze my egg. She reply with I don't think you will have any to freeze anyway but am the professional and am telling you to freeze them.
Then she tippex out my no answer and gave me the pen to tick that I want to freeze them. Then she said make an appointment for Monday. Have a nice day

That was it !!!

Am emotional fell like this is not going to work anyway. I paid nearly £8000 cash with no help and I feel I have just flushed my money down the toilet.

I have not told anyone not even my friends about my treatment and I just need someone to talk too.

@SusanTurner
I don't have any experience like this, but although my clinic's admin can drive me the wall all of the staff have been really lovely. Definitely you should complain about this. Put something in writing asap and if you are not happy then you can go to the HFEA, although it's more difficult to complain about "manners/attitude" etc, but I'd still go for it.
Out of interest, why don't you want to freeze?

@SusanTurner Also, you say you have not told anyone? Are you doing this as a single mother? That's how my 2 DDs were born, and it's more of a thing - you are not so alone. xxx

It's not even the attitude. The first time I came I told the ladies at the front I need my prescription as the doctor told me to collect them on my way out. They said no you need to pay the while amount first. I left baring in mind I was meant to start the birth control the next day then get a flight back to England . I called the doctor and was in tears that they didn't give me my medication to start. I cam back in hour later to get the prescriptions.

I have to google everything my self and tell them what I am meant to be doing.

I don't want to freeze as I don't want to go back to that clinic again and I will have treatment in the uk instead of coming here to Germany.

No am doing this with my partner but because we don't have kids together he feels that people will think there is something wrong with him as I have got children myself. My youngest is 9.

The subject is sensitive to him and I said that I won't tell anyone if it makes you uncomfortable. He is very supportive but I just feel like I need someone to vent to as sometimes a female can relate to your symptoms or how you should feel.

Am not really someone that likes to complain but after hearing that I only have 10 follicles and that it's not good and the way she said it made me feel like what's the point .

@Lucy5yearsttc Congratulations 🎉

@SusanTurner I’m so sorry you’ve had a bad experience with your clinic. I’d report it, they seem very insensitive.

My period has arrived! I’ve called the clinic and left a message, hopefully they get back to me as soon as possible. Hopefully I’ll have down regulation scan by next Friday and it’s worked this time. Keeping my fingers crossed!

@SusanTurner I feel you, I also haven't told anyone apart from one friend. And can you imagine that one friend got pregnant now - total shock to her, not planned. And I have no one to talk to again because I don't want to add to her burden. I also know how you feel being pushed around like that, I have a similar feeling in Spain. I sometimes feel they just want the money and they pity you as it won't succeed anyway. But you need to stand up and demand your treatment to be to your liking. I complained and I have also received a great support from the psychologist. so if this clinic offers psychological support, book it, it is needed.

I have been given prescription before I paid a full amount but I have been continuously reminded I need to pay. Once I paid, they didn't even bothered to acknowledge full payment. I found that totally unprofessional - as any business you'd issue a receipt of payment no? I also needed to email three times to check if I need to buy the medicine that will be administered or they will provide that for me. I needed to remind them I will start with the medicine myself although the doctor said they will email me with the time slot. I am now in the process of stimulation and have no information on my donor procedure (I am suppose to share my photos, they should have asked me questions...nothing is happening yet but I will travel to have my FET in early Feb so I would expect them to be in touch...).

So no, you are not alone in this. Happy to chat anytime if you need it. But please keep the positive vibe, your body needs it, the process of the whole stimulation is hard enough already, try not to add to it. Enjoy every day with something small, something that makes you happy. I will share again what my psychologist said a couple of days ago "do what feels right not what you think it should feel right." Go, get that baby! Stay brave and strong.

I'm sorry about the situation; is there one friend or a relative that your dp would be happy for you to talk to?
I still think you should freeze your eggs - you can get them transferred to another clinic/country.

Thank you ❤️

I appreciate this , really means alot. I had no proof that I paid . They didn't even email me to day thank you for the payment . I also over paid as I didn't know how the money would convert to euros . I had to go in and ask for the overpayment.

Sometimes I feel just one slight comment can just switch off all your hopes. I was meat to be on 200 a day of stimulation injection but they changed their mind before I started to 150 and I just don't think it was right for me . I feel I should of been on a higher dose.

Also when you go in and you have your viginal scan you have to walk over from where your undressing to the chair with nothing covering you , nothing to wipe yourself with or anything . So the next time I made sure I had a long top on cause some ladies don't want their partners to see them naked or who ever else is in the room.

Good thing my partner sees me naked but image adding that to your stress list if you were uncomfortable with your body.

I know this is bad but today I had a cigarette 🚬 I just felt like fuck it . I been so good and eating so well having all my vitamins and no coffee and I love my coffee 😋

Any of you are welcome to wats app me or snap me as I would appreciate the chat as I feel like am in a black hole and only talking to my self .

I hate crying in from of my hubby cause I know he gets upsets as he feels I don't have support because he does not want anyone to know .

I wish there was a wats app ivf group where we can all share our experience and you get a reply straight away if you need help with anything.

Like me when I didn't have a clue how to inject then watched a you tube video over and over again .

I wish you all the best of luck ladies even if I don't get pregnant I will still be happy to hear your stories. All my friends are pregnant right now and although am so happy for them it does make me feel sad at times when they send me scan photos and I can't do the same. Also when they said your turn next or you got a baby in there or what !!!

I keeping using the same story we are not having kids yet maybe later 🙃

I don't really want to as am worried that later on they might make a comment like your ivf baby then everyone will get upset that I didn't even mention it to them.

My friend that I really wanted to tell just had an abortion at 3 months . I didn't know her boyfriend told me only because I was telling him off for drinking all the time . He explained why and it helps him cope. I dint want to judge her even though I don't agree with it. So it's best I don't talk to her

Am happy your period has arrived lovely. Its strange cause when mine came I was screaming and jumping around with joy over some blood lol. My hubby was kissing me and told me to get in bed and he will get the snacks and hot water bottle . Bless him even though am having a bad day he always says stop googling it's OK

hi ladies

i posted further up the thread whilst I was getting my head around what to expect.

medication was delivered today. DP is at work and I just had a little cry to myself. Feeling very overwhelmed seeing it all in front of me.

did anyone else feel like this?

@SusanTurner I'm sorry your clinic was so insensitive. 10 follicles realy isn't bad. I've heard of ladies with loads of follicles have no success and then some with only 1 or 2 end up with a baby. You really don't know until you fertilise them and have a transfer so it was really unnecessary for your dr to be so blunt. I hope you're feeling a bit better after having a few ladies to speak to on here.

Woohoo for the period @Lauralozzle - keeping everything crossed for your downreg scan!

@whomoon I'm sorry you had a little cry but it is completely normal to feel overwhelmed. It is such a full on process and it can take over our lives and feel so intense. I went through my two fresh rounds in Covid lockdowns. On the one hand it was good because I wasn't seeing colleagues or friends and didn't have to leave home apart from to go to the clinic. But on the other hand it was all consuming. As I couldn't do anything else all I thought about was my IVF.
Do you have any close friends you have told about your treatment or are you keeping it to yourselves? When are you due to start? xx

@Jane1284 thank you for your kind words, it does mean a lot.
we have told a few people, close family and close friends. We have been very open which has helped massively, but I sometimes feel it’s all I end up talking about as everyone is understandably interested and supportive, which in turn can be all consuming too.

I have generally been very good at managing my stress levels with it all. I seem to get emotional once I’m at each step, for eg, the very day my last period came meant that IVF was DEFINITELY happening, so I had a little cry. The moment we were at the clinic getting our final test results, I had a little cry in the reception area! I cry so easily, but once it’s out and talked it through with DP, I feel ready to carry on and take on the next step with my logical and calm head on.

Having never faced anything like this before - I’ve never been in hospital, taken medication other than antibiotics - it’s interesting finding out how I deal with things. Learning about myself!

I start norethirestrone next week, and then injections on CD2 of my withdrawal bleed 10 or so days later. There’s 2 twice a day, then from CD5 I add another one in. Seeing the needles and everything.. I’m not scared of needles, but it all just made it very real.

thank you for listening/reading! xx

Sounds like you are handling it all amazingly @whomoon . Take each step as it comes, deal with the emotions and then take on the next step. That's all you can do. It's great you're letting your emotions out and discussing with DP. It is a lot to take on and we all deal in our own ways but it sounds like you are doing great considering.
Does your clinic offer counselling? Ours offeres 1 session included per round. I found it helpful last round. Not sure if I'll do it this time.
Sounds like you are on a similar number of needles as I was. I had gonal f and menopur and feramadel. The last being the worse for me. My DH has an awful needle phobia so I did the injections myself. After the first couple it was much easier. My top tip would be inject into your fat. My tum has a nice fat roll so that was ideal :-)
Good luck and any questions we are all here xx

Just catching up with everything whilst waiting for my scan.

@SusanTurner sorry to hear about your experience at the clinic. Agree with others though, 10 follicles is nothing to be sniffed at, I got 10, 8 eggs, 7 fertilised and 6 made it to day 5. I'd encourage you to think about freezing- as pp has said, you can then move them to a clinic in the UK and you're not just starting from scratch again.

@Lauralozzle glad AF has turned up for you and things can start now.

@Lucy5yearsttc congrats! Fx for a sticky bean.

@acaciabluebell how was your scan?

@Jane1284 I've got thay Alex Jones show on record - will have to catch up.

Thanks @fourfrosties we’ve got this!x

@whomoon mines sitting on the side waiting for my af to arrive to start when i first received the meds i left them in the box but i thought maybe laying them out nicely and organised would make me feel better and it seems to have worked i hopefully start my injections for my very first cycle in a couple of days

Thank you @Jane1284
thats exactly what I’m focusing on, one step at a time. DP is fantastic and is reminding me of this too.
yes our clinic does do counselling and I actually hadn’t considered it. Perhaps the further along I am in the process I might think about going to one, so thank you for reminding me it’s there. How did you find it on your last cycle? Was it worth going to for you?

DP said he is doing my needles thankfully! Although I will learn myself too in case he’s not around all the time. I have a good chunk of fat to grab hold of so plenty of choice there! A friend suggested getting arnica cream too as I bruise easily. Did you have any bruising from it?

@zarascan47 that sounds like a really sensible way of dealing with the amount of medication. I first opened the boxes and just looked in shock of the number of them. Then went back to it later to have another look. When my DP came back we looked at them all a bit more and we’ll have a proper look later to double check everything is there.
It really is all about putting things into tiny steps to cope with how overwhelming it is.

@whomoon we had one session of counselling over zoom in my TWW when I was losing my mind and feeling hopeless after only getting one egg fertilised. I think I was hoping they would fix me and make me feel like the old me but obviously that was never going to happen. It was nice to talk to someone. Probably comes down to you finding the right counsellor for you who makes you feel comfortable. Definitely worth a try if it is included!

I had a little bruising from the needles. Mainly the feramadyl (or however it's spelt!) as the needle was thick. I liked the bruises in a strange way. So weird! Good your DP will help :-)

@SusanTurner sorry to hear you have had a difficult time, and it's very unprofessional of them. I do think quality over quantity isn't a bad thing in my experience. My first 2 rounds I had the 20+ eggs etc but never had any left to freeze and they weren't sucessful. My third round, we tried a lower dose, so although i haven't been sucessful yet (praying with this frozen transfer) out the 4 eggs collected, all fertilised, all made it to day 3 good quality and had 3 blastocyst, so by far a better round with less numbers.

@whomoon just take 1 day at a time and try to relax.

Everyone on this group seems so lovely and supportive :)
I'm looking forward to hearing everyone's successes soon!
I start my meds tomorrow eek and day 8 scan booked for next Friday.