Anyone seriously struggling with the emotional side?

[findingsomeone]

I've had another baby bomb and it's knocked me sideways. Really struggling with this one, it's crippling me.

Whatever your story, is there anybody else here just in the absolute pits emotionally with infertility at the moment, who would like to rant/whinge/sob?

I'm sorry @findingsomeone, that does sound like a shitty week. Hope things go well at the GP. Are you asking for a referral for emotional support or practical/medical things?
I'm struggling this week. I came off the meds over a week ago from our cancelled cycle and I still haven't had a bleed. Pain, cramping and fatigue (some endometriosis stuff) but no bleed yet. I gave up trying to carry on as normal yesterday and went to bed with painkillers and a hot water bottle. If it doesn't come before the weekend, we're probably not going to be able to fit in another cycle before Xmas. It's such a long, frustrating road.

Oh @Dragonlady3 how frustrating hope it appears soon.

They rang me Tuesday in the end. It was just to get a referral put through to the recurrent miscarriage clinic, which they have said they will do. I am sure the wait will be forever but at least it's something else in progress and that I can kid myself I have some elements of control over this

Yes, sometimes it feels good to get these things in progress. Have you had any tests previously for the recurrent losses?
I've had two back to back ectopics and they have no idea why and no idea how likely it is to happen again. It's so frustrating.

No, nobody has seemed very interested. I do think it's a luteal defect or low progesterone but allegedly the nhs doesn't believe in those. I'm on Angus cactus this month as well to see if that makes a difference. It is hard enough to even get a positive test but then to be unable to cling onto that ends up a double whammy!

Yes I have heard about progesterone being a common issue. On my last IVF cycle I was taking a high dose of progesterone pessaries for a week before transfer and my levels were still low so I had to add in injections. I guess it's easier to manage in that sense with IVF as the timings are so exact. The testing progesterone levels is quite a new thing though apparently, they only started doing it routinely about a year ago.
I've still got no sign of bleeding today. Still cramping, exhausted and all the symptoms but no bleeding. Im ready to drink some red wine and scream into the abyss.

I'm sorry @Dragonlady3 that's crap. Red wine sounds like a good shout. I've got a dozen Krispy Kremes 🙈

Been a little while but I'm back, got confirmation today that my pregnancy is anembryonic as feared. First visit to the EPAU tomorrow to get the ball rolling with ending the pregnancy. Sorry to be back here but hope everyone's doing okay.

I'm really, really sorry to hear that @clhsgirl. Even when you expect the bad news, it's not any less devastating. I hope at the very least things are straightforward at the EPAU tomorrow and you can get the physical side of things sorted quickly. I found the waiting really hard, I couldn't grieve while we were still in limbo.