IVF October/November 2021

[TheSnufflet]

I can't see that anyone else has started one yet, so I thought I may as well!

Just got my calendar through today and will be downregging in three weeks time, starting stims in late October, with EC provisionally in early November. This is my second round, which will now be ICSI-only after my last one ended up with a total fertilisation failure

Anyone else on the same sort of timeframe?

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 Sadly not. I wanted to stay at my first clinic as it's so convenient and they don't work with access. So it's a 3 cycle package which works out cheaper than 3 individual cycles, but there is no refund option. It was quite painful having to spend so much of our savings. Tbh I think my reasons for going for it were mainly psychological- it helps thinking we have 3 gos lined up so it doesn't feel like it's all hanging on this one. Even though obviously we always have the option of doing another single until finances really do get in the way, it's just helped me
mentally somehow
I briefly thought about access and hoped they might be an option if these 3 don't work out (bit worried I won't be able to let go ever! ) But I guess if we end up with 4 failed cycles behind us they would probably not take us.
I'm sorry they wouldn't give you the refund option - how long did the assessment take?

We went with access on a two cycle multi package which was basically a much cheaper option than paying clinic directly - we were offered a 3 cycle refund package but it was more money up front, £15000 rather than £10000 so we didn’t do it. Now bitterly regret that, as we are about to have our last two embryos transferred and if it doesn’t work then no refund :(
I feel a bit annoyed as the doctor at Ox Fert discouraged us from refund package and made out like we had a great chance of being pregnant after one cycle, and that definitely affected our decision.

@KatRee we were the same, it's only 2 cycles, but it's great knowing we have more than 1 chance. Although we got 4 good blasts this time, I have a feeling it's not going to be an easy journey, can't help but think we may have to keep going, so have been putting money by so have as back up if we do need to try after these 2 cycles, meds are £1000+ each time on top of what we have already paid too, it's crazy money!

@Gensola we were advised we had atleast a 60% success rate if icsi was successful which luckily it was, but obviously implantation wasn't, what they also didn't explain was whether that was 60% chance per embryo transferred or per EC!!! Feel the figures we were given may have been very optimistic!

We are with access on 3 cycle 50% refund which we paid £12,000 and then £1,000 for medication! Although we did get a loan to pay for it to help us out a bit! Just gives us reassurance it’s not our only chance! I have a clinic round corner from me but have to travel to main one in Nottingham a lot which is a pain as it’s 45 min drive! But hey it’s what we do isn’t it! X

The financials are definitely the biggest stress for me now - I feel like I could do 10 egg retrievals if only we had unlimited funds. I saw some stats yesterday that suggested most people have a very high chance of getting there eventually with repeated goes, but it's really not that easy is it?

Had call from embryology this morning. Of the 5 eggs collected 2 were immature, 2 fertilised normally and 1 fertilised abnormally. Not really surprised as all the follicles were different sizes. As last time we had 10 embryos at this stage and ended up with only 2 blastocysts, I am not feeling very hopeful this round

I do have a 4BC on ice from last cycle, so can have that transferred on day 5 if these embryos don't make it

@KatRee nope I never thought I would be in this position where I have to pay to have a child! Aww it’s hard isn’t it to stay positive but wishing you all the best!

I had another scan this morning EC is Monday just waiting for times and when to trigger! Feels like it’s come around very quickly!!!

So called my manager today told her I had to be off Monday for a hospital appointment - she’s unaware what it’s for! Everything was fine and sorted.. they then changed my EC to Tuesday!! Luckily I sorted it but timings with this process have been the hardest for me to deal with ha ha!

@PositiveeVibes the exact same thing happened to me for my transfer - they said 15th and I booked Monday off and arranged lots of cover/rescheduled meetings and then they called to say it’s now Tuesday 😵‍💫 and it made ME look like a dick and flaky even though it totally wasn’t my fault. Enraging!

@Gensola yep my manager was like as long as you’re in Tuesday as she has an appointment! So so annoying!!! Other half booked his night shift off today too just a nightmare! I said to nurse definitely Monday yep yep it will be! Makes us look like idiots!! I don’t need that extra stress ha ha x

@gensola and @positivevibes just reading your posts about work it is really hard all this uncertainty of days isn't it. I told my boss what I am doing as felt it was easier to be upfront but as he is a man it was a bit funny apologising for all the change to appointments as I said it is all due to timings of when things were ready and you could see his mind ticking over for a few seconds until he said oh yes I understand 😆. Was supposed to be EC on Monday but said at last scan a few follicles were catching up to the bigger ones so got another scan on Monday and then ec hopefully on Wednesday.

Wanted to ask if your are or did take the day off for ec and also what about the day after did you feel OK to go back to work? X

@Tiger86 yes I was told by my clinic I’d need 48 hours off work for EC as they use IV sedation and you’re not safe to drive for 48 hours and they even said I had to have a responsible adult with me for the first 24 hours.
Apart from that I was in a lot of pain both times and definitely wouldn’t have been able to go into work the same day, or even the next day. I got OHSS first time round and was off for a week. The second time I was much better and went back after 48 hours with no issues.

Strange question but when the clinic gave you your OTD how long after the transfer was it? I'm just interested if different clinics vary.

@PositiveeVibes glad you have EC booked in.

@KatRee hope you are feeling ok after EC.

@Tiger86 yes it’s been really hard with timings etc. But at least you’ve been open and honest! I work for a small company and don’t want to panic her ha ha! Good luck for Monday! I will be off Tuesday and then back day after, but I’ll be able to take it easy!

@Gensola sorry to hear about your OHSS but glad second time was better!

@Reefy thank you! How you feeling? When is your test day?

@PositiveeVibes I'm not feeling too positive again, just can't seem to help that. Well last time I was told 9 days after transfer but they said 2 weeks after EC but last time it was only 12 days & again this time I've been given a date of 9 days which is 2 weeks after EC. I just wasn't sure if others were the same as I spoke to my friend who is at another clinic & she said her clinic say 11 days after transfer.

Just wondering if everyone took partners or are taking their other half with them to the ec. I'm not sure if I would rather do it alone or have him with me in the room or not. I would for transfer day if we get that far but not sure for ec day. How do others feel about it? X

@Tiger86 mine came with me then was taken off last time with his sperm pot he did at home but this time he did it there so came did that then went & I text him a time to pick me up it was around 1.5 hours.

@Tiger86 At mine they expect partners to be with you for EC - I guess mainly as they need to give the sample and take you home afterwards, so may as well stay for the whole thing. Think we were there just over 2 hours

Hi @Tiger86 yes my DH came my egg collection as he had to provide sample.

@Reefy my clinic said 2 weeks after egg collection which would have been today but they don’t do bloods on weekends so it’s been booked for Monday.

@KatRee I hope the three embryos you have are good grades to make it for transfer, but you’re in a good position with the embryo you have frozen.

It is so hard working around work arrangements. In work in a school and this is my first cycle so it managed to fall within half term holiday although the transfer was first week back and I said my daughter was unwell at nursery!
I haven’t told anyone in my personal life about us doing a cycle although my manager and work colleague know we are struggling to becoming pregnant again. My manager keeps saying don’t worry you just need a good weekend away with the DH and you’ll see it’ll happen! They just don’t understand lol

@Reefy My OTD is 14 days after egg collection, but they gave me two tests and said to do another two days later just in case. They don't seem to do blood tests at mine, just home urine tests - really hope they are accurate! I'm on countdown to the 17th now - I've prettty much convinced myself I'm not pregnant though. I was even telling my partner not to get his hopes up yesterday!

@Tiger86 I definitely couldn't have gone back to work after EC. I needed two days off, but then after the embryo transfer I got OHSS and have ended up taking about a week.
If your partner is providing a sample he'll have to be there, but he probably won't be allowed to come in the theatre with you. Mine just came to do the sample, then went off to get a coffee, then picked me up after. You need someone there as the sedative means you can't drive etc. I felt fine going in on my own, the nurses were really friendly and put me at ease so hopefully you'll have the same experience :)

@Shaj123 It's so hard with other people's reactions isn't it. Comments like that are soo not helpful... I've also had literally 3 or 4 different people tell me they "almost" needed IVF but then got pregnant naturally at the last minute... well good for you!

We made the decision to tell people what's going on. It definitely has pros - it means people are understanding and don't mind that I'm not feeling very sociable etc. And I think I would really struggle to keep something that feels so huge a secret, so it's a relief to be open, and nice to have people check in that I'm OK.

But also does result in awkward situations, e.g. I didn't realise a family member I'm talking to frequently was giving another, who I'm less close to, day-by-day updates of what I was going through! Which resulted in an argument. And also some people are uncomfortable knowing what to say about it, etc. I think Christmas will be a bit awkward as everyone will know and I don't want our "thing" to be the couple struggling to conceive :(

So it's swings and roundabouts really. I feel so lucky to have flexible working though. It must be very hard working in a school with the restrictive timetable.

@want2bemum yes that's the same as mine. We got a little bag with a pot, 2x tests, embryo photo, scan photo & a key ring of a sperm 😂😂. No I don't think mine do the blood either as never been said to me. I know my friends clinic didn't give her anything not even a scan picture! Yes I'm the same too I don't feel anything!

@Reefy my OTD for FET is 11 days after transfer which I guess is 16 days after EC as my blasts are 5 days old. They recommend if BFN waiting two more days and retesting which is agony, for my two failed FETs I really resented the two extra days of pessaries and jabs knowing it was clearly over. For a fresh it’s 9 days past transfer so 14 days past EC and they don’t do the second test day, if it’s BFN then that’s it.

@Gensola yes last time I was 9 days too & it was negative but I tested the next 2 days too like you knowing it was over but still having to do the medication!

@want2bemum sounds horrible that they’re talking about your private business!

Well my period arrived this morning, thought the extra progesterone would have stopped it.
So first cycle didn’t work, had discussion with DH on how many cycles we will do and he said he doesn’t want to go into debt trying to have another baby and if it’s not meant to be then it’s not meant to be