Any tips on how to cope with delays starting treatment...our clinic has a huge backlog and I'm struggling to cope

[Bexyboop7]

Just wondered if anyone had any tips for how to deal with the agonising delays between fertility appointments?
We've known for years we would struggle to have a baby due to MFI (DH had mumps when he was 18 and lost a testicle). We tried naturally anyway for over a year then got referred to Leeds fertility last April. Due to covid our appointments keep getting pushed back, I waited over 6 months for an internal ultrasound and then another 6m for a hysteroscopy. Despite this we were told in our first appointment a year ago we would definitely need IVF as DH has no normal sperm.
We were told we should get a decision about whether we're eligible for IVF in January and it is now June... every time I call I just get fobbed off saying there is a massive backlog due to covid and we'll get a call as soon as an appointment is available.
I feel like I'm losing my mind and we haven't even started IVF yet!

Hi
Can you not afford to go private .. it’s something I would do now since the covid because even when covid wasn’t around in 2018 when I did my cycles it was still a wait and time game so couldn’t imagine the waiting now
I was luck my girl was born just before the covid came out but would defo go private now to save some time
Also I’m from West Yorkshire so I was with halifax fertility and egg collection at leeds
Good luck x

I would also go private. A fully private clinic (ie not part of an NHS hospital) probably only has a wait time of a few weeks

Hi @Bexyboop7 I feel ur pain! We first went to fertility clinic in 2019 and found our pretty quickly
We had to do ivf due to mfi. We had to be referred to another hospital as our local clinic didn't offer ivf. By the time we waited for the referral to go through covid hit and we were constantly delayed! During this time (about a year after us) my friend went to her Fertilty clinic and the wait wasn't as long and she had ivf before us. I was over the moon for her but gutted for us! We finally got our call this year and after a few ups and downs we are in our tww. All I can say to give u hope is once the ball gets rolling it's quick! I know it's hard but try and enjoy ur time together before 🤞🏻 u get pregnant! Now the country is opening up go have some fun xxx

Hi @Bexyboop7 How have you been getting on? I am waiting on an IVF decision with NHS and similarly losing my mind! xx

We are a bit further forward @Elliesh which hopefully will give you some hope! we've been approved for IVF now and waiting for a nurse consultation to put together a plan...who knows when this will be, hopefully we'll get started before the end of the year, ideally in the next few months. It was starting to drive me a bit crazy so I've tried to just focus on small steps forward rather than dwelling on how long it's been. We made a complaint to our doctor about the emotional impact of all the delays but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. What stage are you at in the process? Hope things start progressing for you soon x

Glad you are getting closer @Bexyboop7, the waiting is awful isn't it and sounds extreme in your case. Covid doesn't help but your wait times sound agonising and does sound like there's been an element of fobbing you off at times.

We have male factor issues as well and are just waiting for funding to be approved, so we could be on a similar timeline. Hoping we'll be able to start in September/October - fingers crossed.

@Bexyboop7 I feel your pain. I’m with Leeds, I was referred last June, I needed 3 scans as they did the wrong one originally (all with big time gaps between them), they missed my follow up appointment as someone had changed my phone number for the call and I wasn’t booked in for the procedure I need before I can go on the list for IVF. It’s only because I called them because I hadn’t had any letter through for the appointment that I found out I wasn’t on the list.
Leeds seem extremely disorganised, there was no apology that they didn’t call for my appointment and I was squeezed in at the end of a clinic so my hour appointment lasted less than 5 minutes.
God knows when I’ll actually get put on the list for ivf and when that will start - I need this operation first. We have been ttc for over 3 years now, I was referred when I was 32 and now 34 (just) and probably will be 35 before I start ivf. I just wished I’d known on day one how long it was going to take as we’ve delayed things and would have made different choices if we knew there was such a wait or gone private.
Looking at private clinics it’s frustrating to see Leeds fertility is one of the few in Leeds, create and abc have a clinic in Leeds but you need to go to Manchester for the collection and transfer.

Oh no sorry to hear that you've been having a bad experience with Leeds too @DancingDog that's so bad about them missing your appointment. We've had to chase for almost all our appointments and even then it's been over a year for initial tests! I think they have a good success rate overall when compared to other clinics but just very big and disorganised and it feels quite impersonal. Our doctor called my husband by the wrong name in our last appointment really hope you get your procedure soon and you can move forward with IVF.

It's hard knowing what to do isn't it, if we'd have known we'd probably have gone private too but seems a shame to waste a free round when there's no knowing if you might need more rounds. Definitely won't use them if we do need to pay for more rounds, I'd rather travel to Manchester!

@want2bemum thank you early! Really hope you are able to start soon too!

@Bexyboop7 @DancingDog sorry to hear you have been messed around. I am with Leeds also and it has been a long mess around with waiting for letters to be typed for weeks just to get booked in. Then being told wrong information about appointment times/locations! Trying for 2 and half years. We have just had our appointment and confirmed we can proceed with IVF! He said it should be early Autumn, fingers crossed!