Infertility investigations/IVF in Scotland - thread 3

[itsmschanandlerbong]

A thread for those of us undergoing infertility investigations or treatment in Scotland.

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility/3742246-infertility-investigations-ivf-in-scotland

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility/4138992-Infertility-investigations-IVF-in-Scotland-thread-2

@2mumlife I think it's unlikely, it's like a regular period. I suppose I won't know for sure until they phone though. Hope you're not waiting too long for your call 🤞🤞

Clinic just called. Blood hcg came back at 21 so a very low positive. Its probably a chemical pregnancy but having bloods checked again later this week to compare. So, limbo now while we wait and see.

@itsmschanandlerbong Hope you get your call soon too, hopefully with some more positive news

@2mumlife I just got a call there too. My blood levels are right down so it has been confirmed as a chemical pregnancy. She said my notes will be reviewed on Friday and we’ll get a letter out following that with the next steps.
I'm so sorry they weren't able to tell you definitely what is happening. Being in limbo is awful 😢 hopefully yours will pick up. When are you back in?

I'm so sorry @itsmschanandlerbong. This whole thing is just a heartbreaking process.

@2mumlife how are you feeling about the wait?

I'm so sorry for you ladies going through this @itsmschanandlerbong and @2mumlife. So hard and so unfair after everything you go through to get to that point. I really hope you can take some time to be looked after.

@Scirocco - that sounds really painful. Can you speak to your clinic?

Great news on the frosties @GemmTryTTC. Hope the next while passes quickly and that you can enjoy it too.

Scan went fine, everything seemed to be in order and start Gonal-F tomorrow. Not back in for another scan until a week on Wednesday but got a crazy few days coming up so will be here before we know it.

@itsmschanandlerbong I'm sorry for your bad news. Take care of yourself next few days.

@itsmschanandlerbong @Scirocco
I should have been back in on Wednesday, but I'm presenting at an online conference that morning and car is in for MOT tomorrow so if it needs any major work I might not have it back by Wednesday morning, so the nurse said she'd just make it on Thursday and they'd take the extra day into account when looking at results. I feel weird about leaving it another day, but she said it really didn't matter. I'm now twitching now about whether to buy more pregnancy tests to keep testing even though the rationale side of my head is telling me to step away from the tests

@Scirocco I really don't know what to think. I did a quick google and there are success stories of people with lower initial hcg readings than I have having a continuing pregnancy. Nurse didn't sound too hopeful because I'd said I tested negative with a clear blue when I'd tested positive a few days ago, but the earlier positives were with FRER (I used them all early on and now don't have one to see if there looks like there is any chance things have progressed!)

@florafoxtrot it really, really is. The clinic have been really quite defensive about it, saying that it's normal to have a few cysts (there's no way this is normal - even I can interpret the ultrasound they took and recognise likely ohss when I see/feel it). They just suggest painkillers and rest. On the night when I was collapsed on the floor with the pain, there was a suggestion that I could go into a ward for observation, but a) it was the ward where I delivered after my miscarriage and I never ever want to go back there and b) I can do more frequent observations at home where there's a healthcare professional available 1:1 anyway. So, true to the reports that healthcare workers are the worst patients, I'm back at work popping paracetamol and being sick in the toilets between rounds!

@itsmschanandlerbong I’m so sorry, it’s heartbreaking. A big hug
@2mumlife the wait is the worse. Sometimes logical is not what helps our brain, you do whatever will help you cope better the next few days. Take care and think about you first.
@Scirocco I second maybe calling the clinic or your doctor? That sounds painful!!!
@florafoxtrot yay for getting started!! Before you know it stims will be over! Fingers crossed for good luck!

It seems my withdrawal bleeding is ramping up, I’m exhausted today after having my second Covid vaccine yesterday, plus this bleeding and some cramping I think it will be a hot water bottle plus paracetamol kinda week…! With all the egg collection, etc, I didn’t have therapy last week and I can’t wait for tomorrow’s session, I think it will really help me process all this!

@2mumlife, I'd maybe suggest getting another FRER and checking with that? I got a positive then a negative then a positive again and the middle test had been a different brand - Clearblue are really popular but I think they have a higher threshold than FRER for saying something's positive.

@Scirocco just seen your message! Maybe ask your GP or ask for another doctor/opinion? Can you go private? It seems to just leave it without being seen it can be dangerous! Please take care!

@GemmTryTTC it sounds like time to break out a tub of emergency ice cream, stat!

@Scirocco yes I thought so! I wanted to start dieting after gaining some weight with all this process but I’m not sure it would be wise 😆

@Scirocco Oh my gosh, that sounds absurd how you've been treated (or not as the case is). I'm not sure if I want to sit trying to compare FRER lines or not afer obsessing with trying to compare 6dpt, 7dpt and 8dpt. I guess if it looks no better between 6dpt and now I'd have a bit more of an answer. I think with my blood levels being so low though, my urine levels are going to be really hard to compare.

@GemmTryTTC Vaccine and bleed at same time sounds like a horrible mix.

@2mumlife it's not as bad as it sounds honestly, nothing chocolate won't make better to be fair.
If you think testing will not help you, fight the urges. If you think it might help you then go for it. If unsure, I'd say wait until the blood test and pamper youself in the meantime, keep busy and allow yourself to be sad if you need to.

@GemmTryTTC I'm been craving onion rings (the battered type) for ages, so agreed with DP that when she gets home we're off to get some.

@2mumlife that sounds like a very good option! We're off to the in-law today after work, she will probably feed us :D

@2mumlife this was the worst bit for me, the bit in between when you don't really know what's happening. I really, really hope yours increases 🤞🤞

@Scirocco I'm so sorry, I missed your earlier comment. That sounds painful and you can't help but think the worst. Best of luck for tomorrow, keeping everything crossed for you ❤️ maybe you should take some time off? Let your body rest and heal. Also your head must be going mad with different scenarios.

@GemmTryTTC I think will all of the hormones going on, the cycle after a cycle would be rough. Let yourself eat all of the good stuff 😉 I would also let yourself do that too @2mumlife!

So I spoke to my team leader and have taken the week off sick. I am never off sick but I think I need the emotional space to process this and to get myself back on my feet. My manager was very supportive which made me feel better. I distracted myself today by typing up case notes for work, I'll do a wee bit more tomorrow morning then the laptop is going in a cupboard until next week. I ordered a shit ton of vitamins recommended in It Starts With An Egg and have emailed a woman to enquire about acupuncture. I'm having some wine, pizza and chocolate tonight and I'm going to watch trashy TV and lie on the couch feeling sorry for myself. Then tomorrow I'm going to start a fresh, will get out walking again and start eating healthy. This is such a shitty process but I need to try and get it together to carry on.

I had another scan this morning. There was a heartbeat but the sonographer said the sac isn't the right shape. While I was in the toilet getting dressed, I could hear her say to DH (very casually) that there's a good chance "it'll just go ahead and miscarry".

So, he's distraught and I'm angry. And feeling really hopeless.

They said they'll rescan in 2 weeks (if no miscarriage before then), but I'm going to book a private scan before then as that seems a very long time to be in limbo.

Oh, and the cysts are still freaking massive, but I think slightly smaller than last scan.

@Scirocco Its really not on the sonographer made this comment to your DH and not you both, together, in a way that you could ask questions and take it in. I'm really sorry you're in this situation.

That’s so not on @Scirocco. Was this at the clinic?! So they’ll know the circumstances of the pregnancy? (It’s not ok in any event but you know what I mean)

I’m so sorry for you and hubby lovely. I sincerely hope sonographer is wrong and if you felt strong enough to complain then you absolutely should. Sending love xx

@sciocco I'm so sorry this is happening and also for the way this has been handled- that's awful. I'd definitely get a private scan booked, 2 weeks will feel forever.

Thanks guys, it was at EPAS, so they absolutely know the circumstances and my history, including that if this is a miscarriage then it's the third one we've had.

I'm mostly angry at how DH was treated, as his feelings seem to have been pretty much ignored through all of this and people seem to have forgotten that he's experienced loss too.

I think I've always been kind of resigned to the idea of things not working out, given that they never have in the past and I'm not hugely confident in the clinics. But he had hope and she kind of took it away, and that's not ok.

@Scirocco that is awful and so insensitive! I am so sorry you're going through this ❤️ Look after each other and yourselves and I agree with getting a scan in between, 2 weeks is such a long time to wait.

@Scirocco I'm so sorry you two had to go through that! I would put a complaint in, that was very insensitive! I'm glad you got another scan aligned, 2 weeks would be too long.

@itsmschanandlerbong It seems that you have a good plan going on this week! Let us know if you need to talk or vent.

I am trying to find somewhere to go away for a night or 2 me and my partner during our holidays in July, but of course it's too late (forgot about them because of stimms, thankfully my boss still aproved them), we would like spa, or nature (we love loch lomond) but I'm not sure where! I think we need a few days away!