Secondary infertility feeling very depressed need support

[queenqueenqueen]

Feel like I could really use some support. I just feel like other than my husband I have nobody to talk to 😥 feeling so so down in the dumps today.

I'm so sorry. Offering a handhold, and also to let you know about the group below, who have a facebook group you can join with others who are going through the same.
fertilitynetworkuk.org/how-we-can-help/support-groups/england-groups/secondary-infertility-groups/

No link? Thanks x

I feel this. I feel like I can't even bring myself to have sex even though i'm ovulating as I can't handle the disappointment and don't believe this month will be any different. It's been 2.5 years and I'm almost ready to throw the towel in, but I am currently trying some new treatments for my endo and have the ball rolling for IVF - which I don't even know if I want.

I'm sorry, I thought it was pasted at the bottom of my message. can you see it now? xx
fertilitynetworkuk.org/how-we-can-help/support-groups/england-groups/secondary-infertility-groups/

I’m really struggling today too. My little boy is 5 next month and we’ve been trying since he was born. We’ve had 3 ivfs all resulting in a miscarriage and having some time trying naturally again with supplements but just got another Bfn and the reality is I know we are kidding ourselves. This is never going to happen! 😢😢😢😢

And can’t face the thought of getting in more debt to do more Ivf in case it doesn’t work. I’m actually sitting here thinking should I just go back on the pill. My heart literally can’t take anymore x

Friend has just announced her pregnancy as I came on this morning. Really struggling today 😢😢😢😢

Hiya,

I'm in the same boat, been trying since we had Our first child 2 years ago without a glimmer of hope since. Weird thing is, we conceived him the first month of trying. What can have changed so much?!

Anyway, sending out hugs xx

All I can tell everyone on this thread is that there are things that you can try to balance your fertility which GPs and IVF specialists don't know about - including abdominal massage and getting your bloods checked against what is optimal for PREGNANCY not just for the general public. I recently found out my thyroid is slightly underactive and I don't have enough iron (as well as having endometriosis, which I had removed via laparascopy). Here is more info on iron www.endofertilityspecialist.com/trying-to-conceive-with-low-iron-and-endometriosis/ and listen to the Endo Fertility podcast for more info on how you could help yourself. I've been trying to conceive for 2.5 years but only 6 months since I had my lap - I am not giving up and at the very least I hope to have great health and energy at the end of this!

Hi there thanks for your replies sorry to hear that others are struggling to but at the same time nice to know it's not just me in this lonely boat 😔

It's also my thyroid that seems to be causing the problems & just when I thought I had it under control at my last blood test it has gone up my periods are still all over the place just feel like this is never going to happen for me.

Seem to know a million and one people who are pregnant right now and it makes me feel so bad that I don't feel happy for them just jealous isn't that awful?

@queenqueenqueen I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling. I am too. I have a 7 year old son. Always thought I’d have two children. Fell pregnant with ease for him but nothing but miscarriage and IVF fails since. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it. Having a sob about it this evening after a pregnancy announcement by someone else. I’m not bitter and I am happy for them. It’s just a tough reminder of what we don’t have. I was 40 earlier this year 😢😢😢 hubby doesn’t want to do more ivf. Frustratingly we can afford it but i think he knows it will never work. They think it’s my egg quality which would make sense with my age. Ahh it’s just crap isn’t it?! Big hugs to you xxx

@sneakpeek1414 - Very similar here. Conceived #1 at age 35 in our first month of trying - no problems at all.

Three years on, we started trying in Jan/Feb this year (as we didn't feel ready before that - which now feels a bit naive and silly).

I'm now 38 (39 in October) and last week I got an FSH test result of 15.9, which is discouraging. I've booked more tests (AMH/AFC) at a private clinic in September, to see what our treatment options would be.

Of course, I've convinced myself it's all hopeless and am trying REALLY hard not to feel miserable and stressed, but it's so difficult. I've actually started researching adoption!

I didn't realise how much I wanted a sibling for our daughter, until faced with the fact that it may not be possible.

@CC81 sorry to read this, I feel the same. It's so disheartening as my levels seem to have gone up again so yet again feels further away from ever happening.... told ourselves if nothing by Christmas I'm going to come to terms with the fact it just isn't meant to be 😭 AF arrived today and totally feeling like shit
This cycle 21 days and the one before that 18 ... Want to go to Drs again, my gp has been fab and supportive but I know there really isn't much more they can do . Feeling so depressed ..

Am actually seriously considering counselling. Just have no one at all in "real life" I can talk to about this,

@queenqueenqueen - We've had similar conversations about when to stop trying. It's so tough.

I always said I wouldn't be one of those people who makes myself miserable about it for years on end. Easier said than done, though! We said our 'soft deadline' would be when I'm 40. But we'll see.

I don't want to discuss it in real life either, as then it'll become a factor of the way people look at us and treat us (especially if we're unsuccessful).

Also started my latest period 3 days ago, so feel equally rubbish!

Have you looked into private treatment?

@CC81 no wouldn't go down that route I don't think, just think that it perhaps isn't meant to be for us I already have two children and I feel greedy for even wanting more...I think probably if I hadn't been through the miscarriage this would have been so so much easier to deal with x

@sneakpeek1414

Hiya,

I'm in the same boat, been trying since we had Our first child 2 years ago without a glimmer of hope since. Weird thing is, we conceived him the first month of trying. What can have changed so much?!

Anyway, sending out hugs xx

I could have written this. 18 months of trying for a second. One failed round of IUI, starting IVF hopefully next cycle.

I’m in the same boat, one DD who is 7 years old, we started trying when she turned 5, wish we’d started sooner. It’s been two years and not a hint of a positive. Feel myself pining for another and a sibling for my DD all the time. I hate wanting it so much and not being able to fully enjoy the three of us. The desperate wanting is almost worse than not being able to have a second

@FieldsAndSun and @campas (and everyone else) - Do you mind me asking your ages?

Just interested to know if others are trying with ageing ovaries, like me! I'll be 39 in October.

I didn't feel ready to try again until our daughter turned 2, but now I wish we had. Although I may have had the same test results for years and simply didn't realise (because our first was conceived so fast).

I'm 34.

I did have a shite labour and birth for my first, and I think something has gone wrong there.

Conceived him straight away! I still feel like I'm in shock over all this

CC81 I’m 35, we conceived DD first month when I was 29...part of the reason we waited 5 years was that in my idealised world DD would be in school and I’d have a baby 1:1 again. I never thought I’d have problems because DD was conceived so easily and I was still relatively young when we started trying for no 2 (33). Though now I wish we’d started trying asap....
In my case it worries me that I started trying when I was 33 so it wasn’t initially an age related problem. So what was it? It’s unexplained... I feel like it could be a terrible unfixable thing they just haven’t discovered. We’ve had so many tests but at the back of mind I think they’ve missed something that has made me permanently infertile 😞
I’m doing clomid and an HCG injection this month. A few months of this then we are thinking IUI then IVF. I desperately want another child and a sibling for DD, I can’t let go of this dream but I’m aware it’s consuming me and I’m scared of where it will take me if it fails.

Can’t talk to anyone in RL, they are either pregnant or have newborns. I’m in with a highly fertile bunch of friends...I’m actually actively avoiding them at the moment which feels very isolating, but I just can’t bring myself to see them coming over their babies

Cooing not coming!!!

Sorry for the essay! X

I do relate to how you all feel. I have a just 2 year old and have been trying for 12 months. I can’t get my head around the potential of no siblings for my gorgeous son who I am eternally grateful for.
I was 37 in July so feel like my time is running out. I’ve had the test which show low AMH (6.3) but an ok AFC.
Spoken to one consultant who I just felt wasn’t for us and another today who I liked. So next cycle is a monitored Clomid cycle and IVF if we’re nowhere in 3 months.
It’s hard - you all have my sympathy and fingers crossed for positive outcomes x

I'm 33, but my husband is 15 years older than me so he's getting worried he will be too old soon 😭 he's so supportive of me wanting this (and think secretly really does too) but think Xmas is going to be our limit. Completely agree - I feel at times Im not even enjoying the family I have as I'm just getting so totally consumed by all this xx