Anyone here sick of the comments and posts how easy it is for childless / childfree?

[EL8888]

Anyone else sick of the post on Mumsnet and on Facebook etc about how “easy” people with no children must be finding the lockdown and how hard it is for those with children etc? How people with no children must have lots of spare fun time to spend on themselves, plus it’s so easy for them to work at home. Well, none of it’s that easy actually. When fertility treatment is on hold and time is going by all the time (especially unhelpful when you’re in your 40’s). Never mind the key workers, people with ill family and friends etc

One person even posted about how angry she was, they have it so easy

Can no one accept all of this is tough for everyone?! Rather than claiming others have an easy ride

@Syncrows l have had a lot more of the second sadly. I never realised l lived in a charmed existence with no hard work or tiredness!

Hugs, OP. Infertility is a pile of shit. It is upsetting that people's treatments have been put on hold indefinitely.

Wow @rhowton on an infertility thread - well done 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

@wherethecloudsaregoing this is exactly what l mean!!!!! Unless they have an interesting “sense of humour” (make of that what you will)

golden what has your comment got to do with Anyone here sick of the comments and posts how easy it is for childless / childfree??

You are right OP, it is tough for everyone for a plethora of reasons. I think when a lot of people say it they are just thinking of themselves, as in, before I had children I would have found this easier. Rather than having any sort of empathy, or maybe to go as far as the intellect to realise that everyone's experiences are different, everyone's struggles are, and just because they x years ago might have found it easier, not everyone will. Sorry to hear about your treatment being on hold . It isn't a competition, and people seem to have lost sight of that in a lot of cases.

I am childfree and it's certainly not easy for me. My husband is still working in a healthcare setting (not NHS), while awaiting test results which might put him into the 'vulnerable' category. Until he knows he has no grounds not to continue working. I'm worried sick about him, and my elderly parents and my sister who is also vulnerable but thankfully has been furloughed.

I'm not trying to claim my circumstances are any more terrible than anyone else's, but giving this as an example of everyone's situation being different, and the childfree couples you are envying almost certainly have problems of their own, even if they are 'childfree' (by choice) and don't have the additional stress of infertility.

This is coming up in Active conversations, which is why I think you are getting the posts that you are. I don’t think people always check/notice which section they are in

Pointing out grass isn't always greener. You can't measure someone's misery.

@SubjectMatterExpert yep lm guessing it’s a quiet day and that’s why it’s showing on active posts. This isn’t usually a problem for posts in infertility l don’t think

Agree. It makes you wonder why some people have kids. They seem to find looking after them so hard and inconvenient.

I don’t think it is taboo to say that on MN, actually, former, I’ve certainly seen loads and loads of threads complaining endlessly about the tediousness of life with children and crossly comparing it to a life prior to their existence where the young, slim, beautiful OP and her handsome husband whizzed off on city breaks at a moments notice.

A lot of that discontent is nothing to do with children and everything to do with growing up: we get grey hair, we get wrinkles, and even if you don’t have children, your friends do - and for all the posts bemoaning the loneliness of being a SAHM, I can tell you there are few things as lonely as being the sole one in your friendship group not to have young children.

No one wants to measure misery, but as the OP has said, a thread in bereavement telling the bereaved how lucky she was because elderly parents are such a nuisance would be responded to with (I hope) shock and disgust. I’m disappointed by how many seem to think it’s acceptable to have a go at the OP and prove her point (and I don’t give a rats arse where the thread is, it doesn’t excuse it.)

Agree. It makes you wonder why some people have kids. They seem to find looking after them so hard and inconvenient

This is unfair. I was desperate for children...I adore my two dc. I'd die for them without hesitation. However, if I could live another life, I'd probably never have kids knowing what I now do. There's nothing to suggest that someone who is infertile wouldn't actually hate parenthood too.

YANBU

former just what made you think that was a good thing to put on a thread for infertile women ... I could cry, reading this thread, it is horrifying.

You could post that anywhere on MN, you know you could, and the moment you decide to roll it out is here, now, really?

Sometimes I really, really hate this site.

Can’t those of you with kids just bugger off? This thread clearly isn’t for you.

Reading how much you love your kids is not helpful to any of us right now.

I can tell you there are few things as lonely as being the sole one in your friendship group not to have young children.

👏👏👏👏👏

Also- what difference does it make whether this post is on AIBU or Infertility? When the OP talks about fertility treatment in the opening post, is it really so hard for parents to have empathy?

@rhowton really?? On an Infertility thread? Wow. Just wow.

Can’t those of you with kids just bugger off?

Secondary infertility is painful, too. But point taken.

That's a lovely thoughtful post @makeitgoaway x

Secondary infertility is painful, too.

I didn’t say that is wasn’t. I’m sure being stuck at home during a lockdown with children is pretty tough too without experiencing any sort of infertility.

This is a thread obviously for childless people.

I think it was pretty obvious purple didn’t mean those struggling with secondary infertility, it was the ‘well I do love my kids BUT’ posts.

@formerbabe I can't relate in 2 ways

1. Because I don't have any kids to comment on a life with kids

1. Having kids to me is not just about my social life so to speak - how carefree and easy life is without them, being able to do what I wasn't when I want. It's not just about bringing kids up, struggling or not struggling. To me, having kids is making a family, a unit. This is the most important part to me - all I want from life is to have my family around me, watch my kids grow up, watch my kids hopefully have kids, be a grandparent myself and then be cared for by my own kids. This is what it's all about to me...

So yeah. I cannot relate at all. Because to me nothing in life is more important than having a family...