Anyone doing ivf at 40+

[lucieloos]

We're considering doing a couple more rounds of ivf at 40.5 years old. We have 2 children already but still feel someone is missing.

Is anyone else starting or already having treatment at 40+ and would like to share the journey?

@Anxiousbuthopeful Sorry this is such a tough round for your, good luck for Thursday, really hope the embryo hangs on. Have you/clinic considered day 3 transfer? If the transfer is included in what you have paid anyway, it might be worth considering. I know blasts are preferred, but if you only have one, there is sometimes a theory that it could develop better back inside it's home rather than in the lab.

Dear @IslandStars - I asked for day 3 but the clinic is pushing for day 5 on the basis that they trust their lab. At this point I think the chances are so slim for this round that I’ve stopped arguing.

@Anxiousbuthopeful understand, it’s hard to go against clinic advice. We pay so much money, that we have to mainly trust that they know best.

Just heard that embryo is doing fine at day 3. I know there’s a 50+% chance of it not making day 5 but that’s the news you to now.

That’s great xx

I set up a thread about mild ivf a few weeks ago, just asked the ladies on it their ages. All using the clinic brand I’m using Create.

Hi @Anxiousbuthopeful are you transferring today? Fingers crossed that you are and that it goes smoothly.

I'm ovulation tracking using the Clearblue digital tests. This is my second day of flashing smiley faces so my LH levels are rising - waiting for my surge now (when the flashing face turns to a static one) which shouldn't be far off.

Fingers crossed for you. I am getting ready for my first FET after a successful fresh cycle. Feeling very nervous, and the drugs are hitting me harder this time.

Hello ladies

@lucymills1234 Are you testing once or twice a day? I have just ordered some CB, as internet cheapies didn't work for me. Says i can do an FMU with these, so at least that's more convenient, but if i test again in PM it will mean 4 hours without a pee!

@Anxiousbuthopeful Hope everything is ok

@SerendipitySunshine Good luck with your FET, hope you are lucky again!

Thanks so much. This all feels more final. Last time we were younger, and had three potential cycles to go at. This time it's last chance saloon, and as we are older (and have less disposable income) another cycle isn't really possible. Aaargh - I realise this is nothing compared to all the people who have multiple cycles not work, but it's a tricky time emotionally for us.

Hello ladies. My embryo didn’t make it to day 5 but we defrosted a banked one which is now aboard. So nervous and scared!

Lots of luck @Anxiousbuthopeful

@SerendipitySunshine I’m sure it’s still stressful, even when you’ve been successful, IVF still manages to throw punches somehow!

@Anxiousbuthopeful Sorry your embryo didn’t make it, must be so upsetting after going through a round. Let’s hope you have a lucky one onboard.

Hi @Anxiousbuthopeful sorry that you didn’t get a blast thing time but it’s good you had something to transfer, after all the prep.

@IslandStars this will be my third FET and each time my clinic has me test twice a day. I’ve never worried about holding for 4 hours. I’ve had a surge result in the evening before (the static face) after a flashing fact in the morning to indicate rising LH, so I’m not sure how it works but the tests seem sensitive enough to know the difference whatever the ‘dilution’.

@lucymills1234 Thanks, good to know you don’t have to hold for 4 hours, I thought that did seem a long time, especially with a more expensive test!

@IslandStars I did wonder after I typed my message last night if I was giving the right advice so looked it up... They do recommend holding for 4 hours so technically, you should.

Will share one piece of advice though to avoid a panic I had on a previous FET - when you're testing, use the same holder right the way through your cycle. On a previous round I bought a kit of one holder and 10 test sticks. I started testing really early ('just in case'!) and ran out of sticks whilst I was in the flashing smiley phase. So I bought a new box and took my next test with a stick from the new set and the holder from the new set. That test showed the empty circle, which made me worry that I'd somehow missed my surge.

I called their careline in a panic and they said the holder retains information - so when you start testing at day 8/10/whenever it takes that hormone level as a baseline. Then when hormones start increasing above baseline it recognises rising levels and then the surge. If you use a new holder midway along, it will treat that day's result as baseline so won't know your levels are rising or even surging.

Before that I'd assumed the test would work by detecting a certain level in the same way a pregnancy test does. Now I know it's actually building up a picture based on previous results. They did say after a few days of not using the holder the information isn't retained, so you are back to a blank slate the following cycle though. Sorry for the long-winded explanation but as I say, this made me panic once so maybe it will help someone else!

@lucymills1234 Thanks for much for the extra info and checking! Natural FETs are causing me more worry than medicated lol. It's just because i haven't used OPKs before and the One Step brand that i bought to test just didn't work for me. I was trying to save money for a practice month.

I did read on my CB box that 4 hour hold is recommended, so may try to for my PM test, but should work with less. Good tip on using the same reader/holder though, i would not have thought of that at all, thanks!

Hello ladies! So I just noticed that the clinic gave me an OTD for August 17th. Which seems a long way away given i has a frozen blast transfer yesterday. Do frosties take longer to implant? Is that the thinking? What’s your experience?

Hi @Anxiousbuthopeful sorry I only just saw this. Was it a day 5 blast you transferred? My clinic says test at home 11 days after transfer of a day 5 FET - day 1 is the day after transfer, not the day of. So after a transfer on August 5th, my clinic would say test on August 16th, only a day earlier than you've been given. If you had a day 3 transferred the test day is usually a bit longer. It's obviously personal choice but I'd say hold off until the test day they gave you if you can (or 1/2 days before if you really struggle!). Lots of people do test really early but I wonder if it makes the wait worse rather than easier.

@IslandStars glad you could make sense of my ramble! When is your procedure?

I got my surge on Friday eve and in for a scan on Saturday. They say all looks ok so I'll transfer on Wednesday. A few things are playing on my mind though. First of all my lining on Saturday was 7.9mm - with both previous FETs it's been 13mm+. They say 7-8mm is the minimum window so it's fine to proceed, but I am a bit worried that it's not thicker. It is trilaminar at least. Never thought lining would be something I'd need to worry about, clearly that was a false sense of security!

Second is that although I picked up the surge on Friday night, I noticed EWCM yesterday. Previously, I've noticed the mucus and then got the surge afterwards so the two things have been almost consecutive. It makes me wonder whether timings are off.

Clinic say neither are anything to worry about but you know how it is, if you have any doubt in your head it niggles at you with the worry that you aren't going into transfer with the best odds.

@Anxiousbuthopeful Sorry i missed your update too. How are you getting on in terms of symptoms? I had terrible headaches after my FET, but that must have been the meds. My clinic does a beta at 9 days, so that's very early compared to home testing. I think 11 days past 5 day transfer is standard for most home tests.

@lucymills1234 Good luck for Wednesday! Glad it's all moving along. My procedure is in 2 weeks time now, cannot wait to get it over with.

I take it your lining may continue to thicken up to Wednesday anyway? I think the main criteria for clinics is that you are at the minimum 7-8mm at the time they schedule the transfer. In terms of EWCM, since this is only the first month that i've tracked ovulation, i did notice that i got CM after i had ovulated, so i don't think there's necessarily a set rule for it, but i know what you mean, if there is the slightest thing to worry about, then we will run with that and worry!

I bet you can't wait @IslandStars - do you know yet the next steps on your transfer? Do you have to wait for a bleed and then schedule on the next one, or do you go straight into it?

Apparently your lining doesn't continue thickening once you start pessaries, the progesterone changes it in terms of make-up and it can actually get thinner. I know I should rely on the clinic's experience when they say it's fine, it was the variance from previous times that made me worry (not that those attempts have ended well anyway).

IVF really does mess with your thinking, once I had a transfer date I had to stop myself plotting out on a calendar when the next transfer might be if this one failed...

I know! I feel everyone’s anxiety. I have even had hypnotherapy. The lady told me I should visualise a wise internal assistant taking care of everything so I don’t need to fret. I thought that was rather lovely so am passing it on.

@lucymills1234 I'm hoping to go straight into my FET in a couple of weeks after the procedure, in terms of CD1. Two consultants have told me to get on with it asap as polyps can grow back and by the time i actually transfer, it will be around a month after the op, so that should be enough time for things to settle down.

Thanks for the info on the lining, did not realise the pessaries stop the thickening. There is just so much to think about and i hate having to look ahead on the calendar too when planning future things, like working out when is transfer/2ww/pregnant/another round etc! People say to take IVF in your stride and live in the moment, but it's impossible when you have to plan ahead in everyday life!

@Anxiousbuthopeful Thanks for the tip, i really need to tune my mind into that way of thinking! Hope it works for you this week.

Hi @IslandStars that sounds promising that there's not too much of a wait. Everything crossed you're now very nearly there.

Yes, IVF does make planning anything else really difficult. Whilst we were in lockdowns everyone was living in limbo, but now others are getting back to normal I feel very stuck in the IVF holding pattern. Every attempt that fails means normal life is suspended for another few months.

I guess the positive spin is that if I am ever lucky enough for this to work, I've already made most of the lifestyle adjustments that pregnancy demands!

Hiya I’m sorry I haven’t been on for a while. I have finished all my ivf transfers of my three euploid embryos and they all didn’t implant. Not a single one…. We don’t have anymore left and are unsure what to do now. Our consultant hasn’t contacted me since I said we had a negative result. Is that normal? Do they normally just finish with you once the last one fails or do they meet to discuss what comes next?

At a bit of a loss & finding this so hard….

@Anxiousbuthopeful good luck with your little embryo I hope it continues to expand and grow…

@lucymills1234 I think it is horrible re a chemical but I think it’s exceptionally promising that it implanted? That’s the first step and you made it past that. It’s a horrible outcome but it really is good news they implant…