The dreaded 2WW - support and suggestions welcome

[Dia12]

Hi guys, I’m 38, with MFI and going through first round of ICSI. I had a single 5day blast transferred yesterday and so my dreaded 2WW begins. I’m trying to distract myself but so far not doing a great job.
I’ve read lots around what you should/shouldn’t be doing this time but I think there are no conclusive instructions.
Common suggestions are to:
-Rest for 24-48 hours
-Gentle exercise
-Eat a balanced diet avoiding processed and high sugar foods (specific foods like pineapple and raspberry tea are nonsense!)
-Avoid sexual intercourse until pregnancy established as this can cause disruptive contractions of the uterus.
-Avoid hot baths, sauna and steam room.

Following these instructions seems like the easy part, the hard bit is trying not to symptom-spot. The scariest part is that any symptom could be just as much a sign of unsuccessful pregnancy as it could be a sign for successful pregnancy!!
For the record, I’ve not experienced any symptoms so far. I was however curious about what the little blast was up to in there and I found this really helpful guide:

www.drmalpani.com/knowledge-center/articles/ivf-egg-implantation-procedure-what-happens-after-embryo-transfer

I thought others perhaps might find it useful. Would also be great to hear from others going through the same anxious wait.
Wishing everyone the best of luck x

*too

Why is there no edit?

Thanks @Catinthecorner
It's just so hard I'm quite emotional on and off. My embryos were quite low quality which is why I'm concerned...if they are going to make it they would need to be extra tough
(I had 2 implanted to give me a better chance because of the low quality)

Iv had cramping on and off not much else symptom wise which could well be my AF approaching but I'm trying to keep my mind off it- i can't.

2 days to go..

@itonlytakesone

Two of my friends had two low quality embryos put in on day three as a last ditch fuck it let’s give it a go.

One is pregnant with twins. The other has twin toddlers.

It seems like the embryo quality doesn’t always make that much difference.

Try and remember normal people (god it’s so long since we were normal) wouldn’t know at this stage, wouldn’t be obsessing over meds, and folic acid, not doing strenuous stuff, eating right, avoiding alcohol and rare meat, etc etc etc.

@Catinthecorner
Wow i bet they were both trilled! Definitely worth a shot then. The thought of twins excites me but slightly terrified me they put two in hoping one might take. Also as none were suitable for freezing they would have discarded the second one if I'd decided to only go for one. The other two i had were discarded.

Anyway I'm going to try and relax because there's nothing we can do just wait. Thanks for those positive stories and yes like you say normal people don't have any of this they are super stress free at this point!

Heya, I have on and off AF-like cramps, breasts were tender due to all the drugs, they feel normal now. I also feel less bloated and less heavy. I don’t believe in symptoms. When we were TTCing like ‘normal’ people I had all the symptoms in the world but was never pregnant. I find working and having ‘normal’ life helps.. apart of not being able to drink alcohol and coming up with excuses for it. Hope you are coping well, not long to wait! Allow yourself not to think about it and forget that something might be going on down there for a while xx

I also find bfp is not the ultimate success unfortunately. Success is final healthy baby. We have a long path:
Blood work/ tests - check
Diagnosis, treatment plan - check
Waiting list/ finding funds - check
Responding to stims - check
Collecting eggs - check
Eggs fertilized - check
Cells grow to day 3 / 5- check
There is an embryo to transfer - check
There are embryos to freeze
Bfp
Heartbeat scan
12 weeks
Full term pregnancy
Healthy baby

Remember that bfp is just a step and if you don’t get it it doesn’t mean that you are thrown all the way back to start.. couple of steps back and next time you might have better chances for ultimate success! Good luck!

Thanks @Viletta
Great advice and you're right it's the milestones along the way you just need to chip away at. I'm so grateful that i even got this far in the treatment and that there was a 'choice' for the embryologists, I trust that they have given me the best chance with what i have..the rest is up to nature.

Going to relax and see what happens.

@viletta and @itonlytakesone

You’re both being so sensible and relaxed about the whole thing. I wish I could shake the absolute conviction that my cycle has failed. Two days to go

@Catinthecorner
Believe me I'm doubtful mine has worked. You never know yours might. Is it all our first cycle?

I'm not going to be able to test until Sunday because I'm godmother at my best friends christening on Saturday and having my make up done. Figured a day later won't make much difference but if i test and it's negative I'll probably have to let my friend down which i don't want to do. Hope the hospital will understand. Might get AF before then anyway but if not then i can wait until Sunday morning

@itonlytakesone

I’m full of admiration for you. I’m not sure I could do godmother duty right now.

I was told a bleed didn’t mean anything one way or the other. I haven’t seen AF yet but I’m on so much progesterone I don’t know if that’s just stopping it

@Catinthecorner not sure how I'll do it to be honest. Her son is 8 months old she has two boys, all of my friends now have two children. Iv not told anyone anything so the expectation is there for me to just carry on which I'm finding hard but I'd rather that than everyone knew. I feel embarrassed

@itonlytakesone don’t be embarrassed. I’ve basically told everyone. I was pretty much forced into that position (for boring reasons my husband’s work had to know and apparently data protection isn’t a big deal to them). It’s helped me to take back control of the narrative.

@Catinthecorner
I think it's the having to update people on how it's going at each stage and the fact that it could take quite a long time with several ivf cycles that's putting me off telling people. I'll carry on hiding it as long as i need to. Then if it doesn't ever work then they don't need to know i ever wanted children. Whatever way you do this it's going to be hard. People who can get pregnant probably wouldn't understand how this feels. You guys do though.

I'm actually thinking positive tonight and I'm looking forward to feeling nice on Saturday with my make up being done (never had it done before i always do my own) if my test is positive it can wait - if it's negative at least my make up will stay on if i wait until Sunday!

I’ve actually been surprised at how many people came out of the infertility closet once I started being open and matter of fact about it. I figure, I don’t try to hid the fact I need glasses to see, it’s just a thing about me. This is just a thing too.

So yeah. Since I came out I’ve talked to maybe ten couples in our social circle who’ve been there done that/are there doing that when it comes to ivf. I’ve talked to people in our outer circle who’ve adopted. I’ve talked to a friend about how scared she is that she hasn’t met someone yet and might end up childless because of that and another friend who doesn’t know if she waits for marriage or just goes for it now and fuck the potential financial insecurity.

I’m glad you feel positive. Enjoy looking nice and the christening on Saturday.

I get asked a lot if we are planning to have children, what are we waiting for, when we’ll have one etc.. I just say we are working on it and clever people get it. My close friends know and families. I find it’s easier to be open about it but I won’t tell my colleagues.

@Viletta @Catinthecorner thanks, you both just know how i feel. I don't feel like the only one going through this. and all at the same time!
I only know of one couple of friends who have had ivf they just welcomed their daughter a month ago. None of my friends have had problems. Probably lots of people at my work have but Iv not told anyone at work.

I'm really hoping we get what we want in the end, although I'm not expecting it to be easy!

I had no idea so many people close to us had a fertility issue or had lost a child until we started talking about it.

I had to give up work to move for my husband’s job so I’m hunting right now. I’d probably not bring it up, but if someone asked I wouldn’t hide it.

@Catinthecorner @Viletta
Well this is certainly going to be an interesting weekend for us all...
Whatever the results please let me know and I'll let you know about mine xx

Hi all, I’m out my AF came this night. It’s full on with clots so I do t think it’s the spotting that is fine.. good luck to you ladies! We don’t have the money for the next cycle right now so will start saving again

@viletta

I’m so sorry. That is truly bloody shit. Have a large glass of your preferred poison tonight.

@Viletta
oh no I'm so sorry that's awful news and so close to test date. My new book just arrived Iv heard people saying it good... 'it all starts with the egg'. I got it from amazon looks perfect to use in preparation for another cycle you should buy it too?

Give yourself time to get over this then get back on track for round 2 whenever that will be & never give up. I know how heartbroken you must be though I'm so sorry thinking of you x

Hi both, went out with colleagues today and had a drink. I now only hope there are no complications like ectoplasm pregnancy as I bleed quite hard and it’s really painful.. otherwise surprisingly not too down. I feel like I have to stay strong for people who are around me, family and husband. Will give us a break and start again. Thank you for your lovely support. Good luck!!

As I told everyone pages back mines a negative. Started bleeding 30 minutes before the hospital called to confirm I’m not pregnant.

@Catinthecorner so sorry to hear this:(( do you have any frosties? Have a rest, get back to normal life where you can eat, drink and what what you want. Get some energy for the next cycle. You’ll get there one way or another!

@Viletta @Catinthecorner
Hi i did my test this morning didn't look at it until just now this evening. Just wanted to let you know my results and i got a BFP. I'm really happy but feel so bad about your results

Keep going don't give up!! thanks for all your support it's been invaluable chatting to people who know our situation and how tough it is. I know also bfp is also only a step and lots could go wrong along the way so this is only the beginning for me. I survived the christening too! Shattered now though. Xx