Anyone else just starting their journey ?

[TTC73]

DH is going for his sperm sample to be tested today and hes so nervous and the GP wants me to have some blood tests done and swabs at a later date. So nervous of what to expect and terrified of the possibility of IVF I've heard its so painful ?
We've been trying to have a baby for over 3yrs with 2 chemical pregnancies so far

@Rubberduckies that is exactly it. I think we'll keep trying for the next few months. We're on holiday next month, in August I have the fibroid removed, in September I'm on work trips so it might even be October before we would start IVF. I don't even know how to 'start' IVF, is there any prep involved? I need to get in touch with the private clinic to understand how it all happens. I had a HyCoSy on Monday so fingers crossed I'm one of those people that gets pregnant while waiting for IVF.

@thisisouryrfx18 I think I just need to get my head around the idea of IVF. Obviously this never was the route I thought we would take but the end goal is the same regardless of how we get there.

@FingersXssd83 that is a lot to take in for you. Hopefully when you have all the info you'll feel better about how to proceed.

@LillyLeaf I know what you mean!

Today has been hours of calls to NHS and private clinics trying to figure out the process. I have an info evening on Tues followed by an appointment with the consultant a week on Monday. The nurse kindly told me that my results didn't look like there's an issue, so the fast track think could either be DH's low morphology or the fact I'm 35 in Aug.

The thing I'm freaking out over is my job situation. I literally handed my notice in last week, not thinking this would happen. My new job is a step up and in another city to where I work/live. I'm not sure that I'll be able to manage appointments although you can have most scans very early apparently.

My friend who's been through IVF is calling me tonight to help me decide whether I ask to stay in my current job (if they'll keep me!), go unemployed (so frustrating as I've worked hard on my career to get this new job) or be honest and tell my new employer (this surely is a no go?).

It feels like such a mess on top of being told that I need IVF.

I hope everyone else is having a better day

Regarding the process, this is what CARE talked me though today. I'd imagine NHS would be very similar

1 Consultation with doc
2 Treatment plan (1-2 week)
3 Consent form/ injection lesson
4 3-4 Scans (can do early at 8am)
5 Egg collection
6 Egg Transfer

7 Two week wait

I hope this is useful x

@LillyLeaf i know i didnt meant to sound harsh its a lot to wrap ur head around and as i said scary thought putting ur body/mind through all the stress. I think that all the time how did i end up here why could i not just get pregnant?!

@thisisouryrfx18 not harsh at all. I've been reading up on the process and I feel a bit clearer about what is to come.

I was doing ok today then stupidly looked on social media, big mistake, now I feel crap. There's nothing like someone showing off a big pregnancy belly that feels like kick in the stomach. When the day comes when I eventually am pregnant I will never post scans or bellies.

Sorry to hear that @LillyLeaf, I know the feeling - sometimes walking merrily around town I get a bit of a jolt when I see someone with a pregnancy belly. It's a reminder of my sadness about the situation. We just have to take care ourselves x

@FingersXssd83 Could you start the new job & take annual leave when you need to get to appointments? If necessary you could mention you need it as you are getting medical treatment that you didn't previously realise you would need. But of course starting a new job can be stressful so you may not want that while going through IVF. Hard situation

@FingersXssd83 that is a really tricky situation. I guess it depends on how much you want the new job over the current job. I agree you could tell them you need medical treatment, they don't need to know the details. I guess the long commute with morning appointments would be tricky. I'm sure you could make it work.

Had my blood test ✔
Really annoyed at our GP receptionist though as i went to collect DHs 2nd test pot and forms on my way out and she tried telling me it was a blood test he needed not bothering to look at his records and then when she did look and see it was Sperm Analysis she just handed me a slip of paper with the lab details on ?!?! No pot no nothing the waiting room was packed and loud so i didn't fancy shouting DHs medical info so she could hear what i wanted but im definitely putting a complaint in about her unprofessionalism as the last receptionist we saw just refers to it as "the test" and gets us the pot and plastic wallet with the forms in.
So annoyed for DH

Thanks for your reply @EstrellaMay and @LillyLeaf

My head is feeling a little clearer today...

The job is so much better than my current one and with flexi time and remote working opportunities, I'm going to go for it. I don't see why I should be held back in my career.

I'll just tell them I have some medical appointments that I need to attend which I wasn't aware of before I started (technically true) and will use some annual leave as and when.

Hoping that I get preggo naturally in the meantime x

@TTC73 receptionists are the worst theyr always soo rude at my docs i wouldve said he needs a pot aswell for all the other ppl knew could b for pee etc i know its a slightly different shape, but ive gotten to the stage i dnt care who knows. My oh got his pot n paperwork for SA yest and thankfully the doc gave it to him and was really nice about the whole thing. He told him to try taking folic acid it can help sperm quality its been shown in recent tests ( its not endorsed by nhs but cheap and worth a try). When i was making my appt for blood tests the other wk the receptionist was making a fuss that i wanted the bloods taken on a certain date, i just told her straight the tests are to c if im ovulating so i NEED them on this specific date end of.. that shut her up! Lol

One of the lab guys who did Dh's sperm analysis suggested Folic Acid too.

I'm enjoying reading 'It starts with the egg' at the moment and she talks about taking folate, the natural version, rather than folic acid, the synthetic version.

@Rubberduckies hmmm interesting

Very tempted to buy that book @Rubberduckies x

Well thoroughly fed up. Period started today taking us to cycle 20 or 21 I’m not quite sure I’ve lost count. We literally did everything we could this month.

I’m not getting anywhere with the hospital. Appointment on the 14th May for information and swabs and bloods and had nothing since. We have a letter writing up that appointment and what was discussed but no actual results. Surely it shouldn’t take 6 weeks to get blood work back and to test for STI??!! I mean the STI tests should all be clear because my husbands have come back clear but still! He did his next SA on Thursday so maybe they are waiting for the results from that?! Just wish there was some sort of idea or time frame or flow chart to know what to expect.

Soo sorry hun x @MrsJones17 yh the waiting is the worst it takes forever for blood results!😠 OH is fonin for his SA appointment if its even open today! God knows how far away thatl b its ridiculous that we even have to think about it but im considering going private with some of the tests just to push things forward, if only we were rich eh?

Although the NHS is amazing and we're very lucky in the UK to have it, I have found that they add to my stress levels. Trying to get appointments with GP and get pass the receptionist, trying to get GP phone appointments with the only doctor which knows anything about fertility, appointments with hospitals only to have them cancelled, trying to get 2 hospitals to communicate with either, just spending hours on the phone trying to speak to the right person. After about 6 months of TTCing I did think we might have issues so started saving for private treatments. 14 cycles later we have our 1st consultation tomorrow with a private clinic to discuss what we should do and work out the costs. I've looked into 'access fertility' where you buy an IVF package of 2/3 cycles and you can also buy them with refund options.

@LillyLeaf yh we re lucky that poor ppl in desperate need have access to healthcare but in my experience the nhs are an utter disgrace. Even when it came to family members facing cancer the waiting lists are disgusting, and cancelling treatments and appointments! The money they waste on the most simple of things telling ppl to throw away crutches etc when they dnt need them why cant they sterilise them? They have no common sense id rather seriously ill ppl had priority over us obvs but when we re forced to pay into a system that never helps us when we need it it does make me v angry..sorry rant over lol

Morning all.

@Mrsjones17 I found the waiting ages between starting investigations (first gp app) to getting diagnosed (with mfi): actually about 7 months for us....which when you're 37/38 and time is ticking is frustrating and stressful....

However, when we got the diagnosis things moved very fast....from the app where we got told it was mfi and we needed ivf basically to have any chance of conception, to me starting injections ready for egg collection has been just over a month. Maybe we were very lucky with the lack of waiting times for treatment, I don't know, but I have been impressed with the speed of things lately. Almost too fast! I felt rushed into it a bit, perversely, since it's all I've been hoping for for years (the chance to be pregnant...)

Don't despair. Keep on with the appointments and tests. You will get there in the end.

I had a scan yesterday to check how the follicles are maturing with the stimulation drugs, and will have egg collection on Thursday. This Thursday!!! Excited and nervous. Hope they are ready, and that I get enough! Good luck all x

@LopeyLopez gd luck for thurs hope its gd news x

Omg this Thursday @lopey! Best of luck, hope it goes smoothly, tell us how it goes xx

Thanks @CatRen27 and @thisisouryrfx18 !!

Fingers, toes, everything crossed for lots of lovely eggs!

Well oh got his appointment to hand SA 12th of july was the quickest uuughh

@LopeyLopez wow that is very exciting, fingers crossed for lots of eggs.

We went to see the private clinic today to discuss going for IVF. The cost has really freaked me out, the cost of the drugs is insane. I've been working on acceptance lately just to stop myself feeling shit about having IVF but now I'm back to this is not fair!

@thisisouryrfx18 I know it's more waiting, I don't think they take long to get the results though.