Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Original poster

Anyone else just starting their journey ?

715 replies

TTC73 · 23/05/2018 06:23

DH is going for his sperm sample to be tested today and hes so nervous and the GP wants me to have some blood tests done and swabs at a later date. So nervous of what to expect and terrified of the possibility of IVF I've heard its so painful ?
We've been trying to have a baby for over 3yrs with 2 chemical pregnancies so far Sad

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
thisisouryrfx18 · 03/08/2018 19:47

@SpringLake great idea hun i was txting my friend and we were thinking either a spa day or afternoon tea with prosecco decisions decisions lol

SpringLake · 03/08/2018 19:57

One this month. One next month (and I hope you won't be 'allowed' to by then!). And one idea I keep coming back to... in some cultures they believe the child chooses the family, and yours is just waiting in line... and will get to be first in the queue just as soon as they can be... when the time is right. All these other family members who are 'getting all the luck' are clearing the queue for you to get yours! :) it's a comforting idea to hold on to!

thisisouryrfx18 · 03/08/2018 20:20

@SpringLake yh sounds like a plan..thats a sweet thought thanks hun i am a strong believer in fate guess its just being tested recently..i hope ur looking after yourself aswell we need these treats to keep us going x

SpringLake · 03/08/2018 20:33

@thisisour things are OK here... AF arrived just this morning. been keeping busy. We have one probably more go before the first appointment. I just hope they find something simple to fix! ... whilst simultaneously hoping I don't need any surgery! (SA is all fine for us)

thisisouryrfx18 · 03/08/2018 20:41

@SpringLake im the exact same i have this cycle as one last attempt to get pregnant before my appt..im doubting itl happen but need to keep trying no other choice. Hope AF doesnt last long too long for u its always a kick in the teeth it doesnt get any easier does it?

SpringLake · 03/08/2018 21:25

@thisisour it sure doesn't! and I can see it chipping away at my dh's dreams too which makes me more sad than I am for myself!

thisisouryrfx18 · 04/08/2018 09:02

@SpringLake that is one of the toughest parts of infertility i feel bad telling him every mnth when af arrives. I keep telling him not to get his hopes up but u can c that he does its soo cruel. Ive resigned myself to the fact its not gojng to happen without some kind of intervention and ive told him that but hes a positive upbeat person, i thjnk thats part of the reason i feel soo angry recently. We re gd ppl but we cant have this baby we want soo bad but every alcoholic/druggie jeremy kyle type can at the drop of a hat.!..Sorry rant over

thisisouryrfx18 · 06/08/2018 16:39

@SpringLake how r u doing hun has af started to ease up? im currently going insane! Another 8days until i can even test trying my best to keep busy but its beyond hard

SpringLake · 06/08/2018 19:39

@thisisour Yes thanks, it is. Had my day 1-7 blood test today. Is there anything else you can do now in advance, to keep constructively busy? I'm running so low on ideas I'm going to have to start researching how to put a will together!

thisisouryrfx18 · 06/08/2018 23:07

@SpringLake thats gd how long do u have to wait on results? Lol i know im the same ive been trying to declutter the house and decorate..i was weeding all day in the garden yest geez whats my life turning into haha

SpringLake · 07/08/2018 16:39

@thisisour Only a few days, hopefully. Though I suspect I won't be able to understand the result! Hope you have planned something good!

thisisouryrfx18 · 07/08/2018 16:50

@SpringLake they didnt even go into detail with my bloods just said nothing abnormal to worry bout

SpringLake · 07/08/2018 17:02

This was arranged by the dr so I need to take a print out copy to the clinic appt... so will see all the detail. May 'Google' it when I've got the sheet!

thisisouryrfx18 · 07/08/2018 18:22

Mine too but doc just seems soo indifferent fx my gynaeo will b more helpful..

Original poster
TTC73 · 08/08/2018 22:36

What are you all telling your employer's to cover for your appointments ? Or are you just honest with them that your planning on having a baby in the near future meaning Maternity pay/leave etc ? Terrified to be honest with my boss about my appointments because they might just sack me while they can to save on the maternity pay and cover. Ive had it happen to friends by spiteful bosses who take it as a personal threat when a woman wants to have a baby Angry

OP posts:
squirrelnutkins1 · 08/08/2018 22:55

That's nuts! What basis did they give for sacking her??

SpringLake · 09/08/2018 05:52

I am fairly confident that won't happen with my boss... but when I need to, I'm intending to invite him and another (woman) colleague to a meeting and confidentially tell them both. Not to be shared more widely. They both (and me too) are part of the union... so I'll have backup! I did read that Health&Safety are happy to be confidentially told first if you're not ready to break the news to your closer colleagues. Could be a useful approach. Or you could find some other (non infectious!) medical condition?

thisisouryrfx18 · 09/08/2018 09:03

@TTC73 i just tel them i have hospital appts so far they dnt ask ive told them in advance and i get them as my day off..im also part of a union luckily. Ur friend could take them to claims court

LillyLeaf · 10/08/2018 10:47

How’s everyone getting on. I’ve been off MN for a while. Well the dream of getting pregnant on holiday didn’t work out and we gave it a bloody good try too. I think it’s clarified there is no way we’ll conceive naturally. Good news is I’ve had my fibroid removed, we’ll get in a few more cycles before starting Ivf probably in October (still clinging onto natural conception). My work is stressing me out a bit because they keep suggesting I go on work trips in Oct/Nov and one is a Zika place too. Not sure what to do, I don’t want to tell work I’m going through this. I think I need to speak to the clinic again as I don’t understand how often I will need to go into the clinic and when. Could I make up a health problem that would not allow me to travel? Work is wanting to book flights and I’m not sure how long I can fob them off.

Oh and my friend recently had a baby and called it my favourite name so that was that felt like a kick in my stomach.

@Thisisouryrfx18 sorry you’re feeling so down. I was also thinking of looking into counselling. I never knew this would be so hard. I’ve never experience this pain ever. I have days at work where it’s all I think about. Seeing a pregnant women can make me feel so crap and turn an ok day into an utter shit one. I walked pass someone a few days ago telling her friend she is pregnant and I thought FFS get out of my face!!

thisisouryrfx18 · 10/08/2018 18:12

@LillyLeaf thanx hun feels better in a weird way to know im not the only one..i got af the other day in work horrendous having to carry on with my day as if nothing was wrong. Sorry ur hol plan didnt work x i think we should all brave it and tell our work they need to be sympathetic and give us time off when we need it but its easier said than done, its crazy tho isnt it?any other health issue would b fine sumthin else to stress about!

Pumpkin18 · 10/08/2018 18:31

I had a meeting with the director of the company I work for today and at the end he asked if I was ok as he knew I was a bit upset last week. So i told him that we had been advised we would likely need ivf if we wanted to start a family and it was a bit of a shock - he was really understanding and said whatever appointments i need to attend that's fine with him and to just go. I didnt want to lie to him and as it is likely to affect work slightly in the coming months I thought he should know. Luckily I work for a nice company who understand that the staff are human!

thisisouryrfx18 · 10/08/2018 18:58

@Pumpkin18 thats luvely that he took the time to ask if only more ppl were that understanding

Original poster
TTC73 · 10/08/2018 20:07

It wasn't just one of my friends its happened to 5 of them so far each time they came of Mat Leave and their bosses waited around 3 months each time and then fired them on the spot or gave them notice letters. They came up with the same excuses of overstaffing or the job was no longer available but the other colleagues told each of them that the boss moaned about them Been off and taking the piss the whole time they were off !! So im wary as my boss is a total tightwad who sounds like this type of male boss who thinks women should be punished for been pregnant on "company time"

OP posts:
Original poster
TTC73 · 10/08/2018 20:08

Hopefully i can start clomid in a couple of weeks around 25th though so things are getting exciting again

OP posts:
Miss83 · 10/08/2018 21:01

Im quite lucky in work... Not told my boss but he is really laid back so happy for me to just go, not interested in seeing my letters ect. I have told two of the women on my team. I have a one to one next week so I may bring it up.

Lillyleaf so sorry it didn't work out on holiday.... It's good you don't have long to wait for October... Fingers crossed for you. sorry about your favourite name going to.... My sister told me she likes my boys name.... She dares steals it!!

thisisouryrfx18 how you feeling now? Not long to until your appointment, the month is flying by!

In other news.... As part of referrall they wanted to know that my MMR was done and even though my mother is convinced i had it there is nothing in my file... So guess what I had to have on Wednesday Confused my bloody MMR!!! Have to go back in four weeks for my second injection which means; I can't risk getting pregnant for 10 weeks! Not that I think it would happen... But when you want something so bad and hold on to that glimmer of hope every month! OH has his appointment with our GP Wednesday, so I'm tagging along to.