Please or to access all these features

Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Anyone else just starting their journey ?

715 replies

TTC73 · 23/05/2018 06:23

DH is going for his sperm sample to be tested today and hes so nervous and the GP wants me to have some blood tests done and swabs at a later date. So nervous of what to expect and terrified of the possibility of IVF I've heard its so painful ?
We've been trying to have a baby for over 3yrs with 2 chemical pregnancies so far Sad

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
EstrellaMay · 03/07/2018 22:18

And yes I totally agree about the life on hold thing. My husband will suggest holidays / events in a years time and I'm there thinking ... but we could be doing IVF ... or even pregnant?? It's not the worst part of infertility but it is irritating. Just had a beer there watching the football ... one of the few upsides of period coming!

LillyLeaf · 03/07/2018 22:21

@EstrellaMay absolutely agree. My fear is that there is something wrong with my eggs or that they just won’t implant. That’s why I’m trying to think of IVF as more than one cycle. The first cycle will be a learning process. I have never got a single BFP, surely there is something wrong.

'Unexplained' just means they can't see any issues with the tests they have run and you have been trying for a while.

LopeyLopez · 03/07/2018 22:35

Thanks all.....ugh, very exhausting and emotional day; will update tomorrow when less tired! One embryo transferred; now just waiting! 😞🤞

CatRen27 · 03/07/2018 22:49

Just came on to say i hope it went well @lopey. I'm so pleased it's actually happened now, looking forward to the proper update! Fingers and toes and everything crossed for you!!! Xx

CatRen27 · 03/07/2018 22:58

Sorry for your bfn @cariad, it always, always sucks huh. Are you anxious about the move towards ivf?

So I'm annoyed. My body is really messing with me - long af, then 3 days of spotting, and then I ovulated four days effing early on cd14! We only managed to dtd once on cd13 so i feel like we've wasted the cycle. Couldn't dtd on the day of ov as I had horrible food poisoning then the next day dh came home from work at 1am (which is pretty common at the moment.. Not exactly conducive to getting his swimmers in the right place..), so I'd already gone to bed. Urgh. So one more cycle and then ivf. Sorry for rant, i feel a bit robbed!

EstrellaMay · 03/07/2018 23:00

Good luck with the waiting @LopeyLopez - hope you can find a way for the time to pass quickly

thisisouryrfx18 · 04/07/2018 05:15

@EstrellaMay @LillyLeaf 100% agree its nice to have answers in a warped way

MynameisJune · 04/07/2018 06:22

Just catching up with everything @cariad2017 sorry for the bfn but so pleased you’ve got a plan and are starting IVF this month!

@lopeylopez good luck for the tww, I’m keeping everything crossed for you.

I’ve been trying to stay away from TTC talk as due to some issues at DH’s work we’ve had to put a hold on our IVF plans until at least September so it will be October at the earliest if we are lucky with appointments etc. As we are unexplained then we are still trying naturally anyway.

Af also decided to mess about, showed up two days early then ended up only lasting 1 day with a day of spotting afterwards.

@catren so sorry to see you here and for your chemical’s.

Cariad2017 · 04/07/2018 07:20

Lopey - congratulations on being in the 2ww. That’s supremely exciting. I can’t wait to read the rest of your update!

Mynameis - Have you POAS? That sounds as though it could be implantation bleeding... (And apologies if I’ve asked you exactly the same question before - my mind can be like a sieve when it comes to these things). Sorry you’re having to put your IVF plans on hold, but I shall be keeping everything crossed that you get that elusive sticky BFP very very soon.

CatRen - that does indeed sound very frustrating. I have however lost count of the number of people who seem to get upduffed from one well timed sh£& in a cycle, so it’s definitely not over until the red lady sings.

MynameisJune · 04/07/2018 07:28

@cariad2017 I did last night but only a IC and with no hold and a bfn as expected. I’m tempted to do a FR as I’ve never had a period so short and erratic. Although we barely dtd last month so it’s unlikely and probably more just my body deciding to cause further reasons to worry. I’m CD11 as well so I’m sure a bfp would have shown up by now even with no hold and no fmu

Cariad2017 · 04/07/2018 07:28

CatRen - I’m just petrified the first round will be a disaster and we’ll end up having to cancel with nothing to put back in. Realistically, from a work/ life perspective it’s going to be a struggle to do another cycle this year so if it doesn’t work out next month, it may well be January before we can start going again, which feels like a lifetime away.

DH has also made such a huge effort to improve the quality of his SA - including cutting out lots of the things he really likes - Coffee; alcohol; red meat etc. and I know he’s going to struggle to do so indefinitely, so I worry that this is our best shot...

Cariad2017 · 04/07/2018 07:30

Mynameis - I think CD11 in the evening on an IC with no hold is very early. I’d wait two days from the bleed finishing and then do a FRER first thing. That way you’ll know for certain. Keeping everything crossed for you. Xxx

MynameisJune · 04/07/2018 07:31

@cariad2017 sorry that was badly explained. I’m 11 days after my ‘period’ so if it was implantation I’d expect to have seen something by now even at night.

Cariad2017 · 04/07/2018 07:32

Mynameis Sorry - I read that as 11dpo rather than CD11. That does sound strange. I’d have a go with a FRER if I was you just in case.

LopeyLopez · 04/07/2018 17:08

Thank you so much for your support @Cariad2017 @MynameisJune @thisisouryrfx18 @EstrellaMay @CatRen27 . This thread is really keeping me going during this difficult time, and hopefully what I post could be useful to those of you who have not quite started with ivf.....

So yesterday morning I got the dreaded call to say how many embryos had made it til day 5 (supposedly blastocyst stage, with much better implantation rates). It was not good news. Out of the 3 eggs that fertilised two were very slow growers, having still, on day 5, only reached a few cells. They were therefore not viable and to be discarded. The third was also a slow grower but did have some compacted cells, so was closer but still not yet at the blastocyst stage (believe me, all these terms will become common place to you. It becomes the next obsession, when you're at this stage: all the developmental stages and "grades" of embryos...!) However the embryologist said they would still "pop this one back in"! I wondered whether it was just to give me a feeling of completion, rather than it having any chance of working, because looking at articles about slow developing embryos things did not look good.

I googled like crazy as usual (WHY can't I stop myself?! Sometimes I wish there was no internet....!) and got quite upset. However my tears decided not to make an appearance until I was at acupuncture, having a pre-transfer session, which was fairly embarrassing! She kept saying "should I stop?" but I told her to carry on.

After crying like a baby at acupuncture and feeling very silly, I drove to have my embryo put in (you can drive for ET as there is no sedation like with EC). It was really fast and easy - again no pain, and interesting from a science point of view. You see a picture of the embryo magnified on a screen, and your uterus on the ultrasound. You see the catheter go in, and a "flash" of white on the US as the liquid containing the embryo goes in.

By this point the embryo had reached very early blastocyst stage, or "cavitating morula" stage, which means its cells were differentiating and its interior cavity was forming. This was good news at least, though still too early to call it a good graded blastocyst. The embryologist was quite cheerful and I wouldn't say optimistic but I liked her manner; I found the consultant really negative by comparison and he made me wonder whether it was worth the bother putting my embryo back at all...!

I was all done in 20 mins and went straight back to acupuncture for a post-transfer session (my bank account is just haemorrhaging money atm but I just wanted to say I'd done everything I could. Not sure I even believe in any of the acu stuff, as a scientist, but....it's made me relax and given me an hour to myself each week at least, so that's something....)

Now I am just trying to be positive without setting myself up for a HUGE disappointment when this doesn't work....which as we all know is a really difficult balance to strike!!

Best of luck all. I really hope my little embryo makes a nice home inside me. I just kept thinking, "it's coming back to mummy, where it belongs...." which is such a lovely yet desperately sad thought if you consider it might well not implant or develop any further, and just made me cry more..... x

thisisouryrfx18 · 04/07/2018 19:05

@LopeyLopez i literally had a tear in my eye reading ur post i soo hope everything works out for u hun..keep ur chin up this little bean could be a fighter x

MynameisJune · 04/07/2018 20:03

@lopey I am keeping absolutely everything crossed for you and this little bean that it’s a sticky one xx

LillyLeaf · 04/07/2018 20:34

@LopeyLopez that sounds like a very full on day. I have everything crossed for you.

EstrellaMay · 04/07/2018 22:22

@LopeyLopez Thinking positive thoughts for you from here.

EstrellaMay · 04/07/2018 22:23

And thanks for being so open.

Cariad2017 · 04/07/2018 22:54

Thank you for being so candid and sharing your experience Lopey. This will no doubt be invaluable when it comes to my own first cycle.

I shall be keeping everything crossed that this is IT for you.

AF arrived today as expected, bringing cycle 23 to an end. Knowing that our first cycle of IVF is in the diary has softened the blow a little.

CatRen27 · 04/07/2018 22:57

Ohhh @lopey i want you give you a huge hug. What a day you've had. I also had a tear reading that, you've got such an amazing approach to all this. We're all rooting for that little embryo! They are so detailed in the info. Knowing myself (also a scientist and avid googler) I'm not sure I should be trusted with it all. But how can you not find out, its so hard. Do you have some restful plans now?

LillyLeaf · 05/07/2018 08:08

AF arrived today with some lovely middle of the night cramps. Off to work feeling like utter shit. Have to put a happy face on and pretend everything is fine. I feel like people must look at me and think why isn't she pregnant or have a baby, it's so stupid.

thisisouryrfx18 · 05/07/2018 15:29

@LillyLeaf uve literally just described my day soo sorry hun. My period came this morning aswell i knew it was coming seen a temp drop past few days. But it means my luteal phase was only 12 days this cycle im going to mention it at my nxt docs app..soo frustrating and depressing felt like crying all day but had to put a brave face on aswell feel like screaming at ppl leave me alone!

LopeyLopez · 05/07/2018 18:16

Thanks again guys.

Sorry for af arriving @thisisouryrfx18 @Cariad2017 and @LillyLeaf . At least you are making plans and inroads into this dreaded infertility. Once things get rolling with ivf trust me it all flies by.

@CatRen27 I'm working full time so no time to chill, but also no time to get obsessed (well, less...!). Trying not to Google too much....or only googling success stories of 5 day early blastocyst transfers!! Of which there are actually loads....of course there are a million more failures but I guess people don't post about those online, and anyway I don't want to read about them.

I'm getting the usual tww cramps and twinges which will soon start to drive me crazy, but tbh I think I'm getting more used to it....I had "symptoms" pretty much every one of the 18 cycles we were ttc naturally, most of them thinking I was "definitely pregnant" that cycle...! So I will try to not read too much into it. My poor womb and ovaries and vajajay have just been through a lot of trauma after all, with all the drugs and needles and canulas....it's no wonder really that they're a little on the cramps, sore side....!