Trying to conceive baby#2 following ivf treatment for #1

[lucieloos]

I thought I would start this thread as I can't see anything similar. We underwent many rounds of icsi and following a couple of bfns, and an ectopic pregnancy we were finally blessed with our beautiful daughter last year.

We recently started thinking about baby no 2 and had 4 frozen embryos of which 2 had been tested and found to be chromosomally normal so are meant to have a better chance. We didnt have the other 2 tested.

A couple of weeks back we had our first fet with one of the tested embryos and got a bfp super early at 4dp5dt. Sadly by 8dpt the line was barely visible and resulted in a chemical pregnancy. I've been feeling really down about it as this was meant to be a super duper embryo with no genetic problems which they said was the main reason embryos fail.

I thought it would be easier trying for #2 and of course it is in a way as I realise how lucky I am to have had a baby but I can feel the infertility fog starting to descend again as I realise although I've had a brief respite I will never be like my fertile friends and I do really want another baby and a sibling for my little girl.

Im feeling a bit negative at the moment. We will probably go back for the other tested embryo in the near future but I can't see how I would ever get lucky enough to get 2 bfps in a row. These things just don't happen to me so just not too hopeful about it at all. We said that if we used all of our frosties with no success we would be happy with what we have but already I am thinking should I do more fresh cycles. I will be 39 soon though so time isn't on my side for that.

Anyway just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation and would like to share the journey. Please come and say hi.

You guys are so lovely, it really cheered me up reading your messages. Means a lot. I had a good sob whilst DD was napping and then got my shit together for the afternoon. She is a good distraction. DH came home and I felt really sad telling him. We have worked our way through a bottle of red! Feeling a bit numb. We just reminded ourselves that nothing will feel as bad as CP from IVF 1 after 3.5 years of infertility. Spoke to a nurse at the clinic whom I don’t know (feel they have lost their personal touch lately) and she said I should keep taking the drugs and test in two days (!) even though I have a completely negative test, no line. I have made the executive decision not to do that as frankly those pessaries can do one!!

I asked her whether I should see a CP as a good sign and she said I should discuss with the consultant...Guess I am just trying to grasp at straws...

Aw jen. Enjoy the wine - small silver linings. It’s not the same feeling as failing ttc no 1 but it’s still awful - my heart goes out to you. Glad your dh is being so lovely.

And fwiw my consultant thought my CP was a definite plus - if I hadn’t had a CP I would have had to have a hysteroscopy before any further treatment. A CP shows your uterus is receptive to implantation. So it is good news - albeit a teeny tiny piece of good news next to a big hulking heap of shit bad news.

to you

Oh Jen, I'm so sorry. Be kind to yourself x

How are you getting on @Jenbot78? Hopefully okay (well as okay as you can be given the situation),

Aw thanks for asking, very up and down. Sort of manic/frantic googling and planning and feeling OK then suddenly crying a lot. Anyone who has gone through this, did it take a while for the hormones to settle? I feel like a wreck.

The clinic seem to think it's positive that I had a pregnancy test and put it down to the embryo being chromosomally not normal.I still feel that my complicated autoimmune thyroid issues aren't quite right (hair loss etc.) even though my TSH is ok. I need to just not try and panic about my age and get these sorted.

I have managed to find a couple of very decent thyroid/fertility specialists and I am going to try and slow down and really get to the root of what is going on before I jump into any more fertility treatment (and heartache.) If I'm honest I really haven't been right since DD was born and I stopped breastfeeding, swinging wildly between hypo and hyper. I finally stabilised about a month before the FET and was just about starting to feel OK. Perhaps the CP was nothing to do with this but I really just want to make sure all boxes are crossed before I carry on.
Although I am 40, I think (hope) that I am not completely barren as I had good AMH and AF for my age counts only two years ago although I know it can all change. Just trying not to panic because panic will lead me to jump in with both feet which I just don't think I should do until I am fully healthy.

I have also decided to see a counsellor to talk through some of the emotional side of things. The stress levels that I experienced when going through the cycle were NOT GOOD (one night I didn't sleep all night because I was so anxious) and I think I have a lot of unresolved trauma/stress from the years that we went through infertility.

Bottom line is, I'm getting my head and body together before I go again. I just haven't got the resilience physically and mentally to do it any sooner than probably January!! I hope this is a good plan, though obviously still worrying I will be too old if I need a full IVF cycle again.

Long answer to your question Ghengis LOL

Also that answer was all about me! How are you doing? Hope everyone on here is doing OK...

Hi everyone, sorry have been away for ages!

Jen I am so sorry about the CP, it's really cruel I've just read your update and I think that all sounds really sensible. I would defo want to look into all the thyroid stuff to make sure your body is as ready as it can be. I hope you managed to enjoy being away. I wish I had some advice on the anxiety but I have really struggled this time around and have ended up on anti anxiety medicine.

Twinkle I had a quick scan back and saw your update. That sounds really tough with work. I've definitely not had my head in the right place for work so know where you are coming from. How are things now? So sorry the last FET didn't work x

Glad all is going ok lucie and snow. Sorry to hear you've been feeling so rough Snow. Hope things are getting easier

I'm still not in any position to try again. I've not stopped bleeding yet post miscarriage and have just had my MRI last week. I'm waiting for the results now. My storage for my Frosties is due to be reviewed next month so I'm hoping I have some idea of what is going on in my uterus by then! I won't lie things have been very tough and am quite anxious about what is going to happen. I've been keeping myself super busy which is helping a bit. I'm over eating though and have gained a bit of weight so need to sort myself out

And so sorry about your FET too Ghengis

I've just realised my post might not even make sense! I think I mentioned when I was last on here that they where investigating me for a uterine anteriorvenous malformation. Unfortunately my Doppler scan showed the same problem and they also say some retained products. Ive had to wait for an MRI as it's risky to do a hysteroscopy without getting more information about the malformation. I'm still hoping it's all a big mistake and the MRI will show there's nothing there

jen do you have more Frosties?(sorry can’t remembwr) I think it’s a really good idea to properly bottom out the autoimmune issues -knowing you’re stable there will give you peace of mind if nothing else. And definitely counselling is a great idea, this is tough stuff and you need to look after mind as well as body. Good luck with it

nota I cant believe you’re still waiting to get to the bottom of it all. Hopefully you get the mri results back soon and they’re all clear. And retained products as well. Such shitty bad luck. Hoping for a swift resolution to all this - to you too

cupcakes what a rough time you’re having. I’m sure you just want to move on from it all and look forward. Snow yes one frozen left, but already planning what happens if that doesn’t work! I just don’t have any faith in it working.

Meanwhile frantically thinking about ££££ with my husband! Is so tough when you look around your house and think about all the little jobs that need doing that you can’t afford due to the cash. Fertiles will never understand...I think we are a very hardy lot, all of us!

As for therapy, yes I think a worthy investment. Also I do therapy with children and families and all sorts of things at work are triggering grief, sadness and anxiety all the time...I have to look after myself otherwise it’s just not fair on those people. Or me!

Thanks all for your lovely messages of support.

Work is better and is proving to be a good distraction. Inside I am still hurting. I am trying to organise counselling, think that will be good for you too @Jenbot78. I've had counselling before and really rate it.

We are going to see the sperm specialist again in October to speak about DH's results.

@NoCupcakesOrCocktails - I cannot believe you are still bleeding, how awful this has been for you.

for everyone struggling with this shit journey. Been on it over 7 years now with a brief respite when DS was born. Walking around with a heavy heart is so draining.

Hello everyone, it's been a while since this thread has been active but I thought I'd resurrect it!

Twinkledag How was your appointment with the specialist? I hope you're doing ok?

Cupcakes How are you getting on? I hope the MRI results came back clear, and that you've decided what to do with your frosties.

Jenbot Did you manage to get an appointment re. your thyroid? I hope all is well.

Hello to everyone else on the thread, I hope you're all doing well - can't believe it's already November!

I was back in with my consultant today - same old story. Tomorrow I do another IUI and then when that doesn't work, have a discussion about going forward. The protocol here is five IUI attempts then on to IVF/ICSI but given my age and that we're paying, she might change to three. Meh. I'm finding it very hard to be positive about any of this. I hope everyone else is in a better headspace!

Hi @GenghisKahnSchmitz I was thinking about this thread last night so your update was well timed!! Are you in the Uk? Just wondering about you having IUI as most people seem to go straight to IVF. I hope the next go works 🤞

I've had good news, my MRI results were good. There were some issues with some of my veins but nothing that stops me from trying ivf again. So I don't have an AVM, I was so relieved when I got the result. I'm already on my next FET. Currently downregulating, first scan is Friday so fingers crossed I can start the prognova.

How is everyone else doing?

Hi guys! cupckes that’s great news about your results. Hope th downreg goes well and you can get going pronto!

ghenghis keep plugging away. You don’t have to be positive all the time :)

As for me, I am still pregnant - due date is getting closer and closer. 10 weeks to go! Really hoping that you have your own positive news soon, and that everyone else is well.

Hello, great to hear from everyone! cupcakes fantastic news. ghengis positivity comes and goes I find, so don't give yourself a hard time.
Snow our good news story! Is so good to hear everything is going well.
Nothing to report here; been seeing someone about thyroid and had a big diet overhaul which is one the one hand tedious but on the other hand at least helping me to feel in control more.

Went to see the consultant from our failed FET. He was a right wanker, the lovely consultants that were there during our initial treatment for DD1 have now left. It was a really terrible appointment. Basically he said that we were complacent and just because we "got lucky" with our "live birth" (didn't refer to her as daughter or child) didn't mean that the FET was going to work.

Apparently the last little embie that is left was the least good quality. The grading system at CARE appears to be a bit different as when I have googled the numbers they don't match up to any other systems. So my DD was 1.5, the last failed FET was 2 and this one is a 2.5. Apparently the inner cell mass is good, the same as the 2 one, but the trophoderm (the outer shell) is a poorer grade. Basically it's not looking amazing for this little one. I asked him whether we should just sack it off and start again. He said no, we should go for this as it is a 25% chance and at my advanced age success rates fall to 13.5%. All in all a really cheerful appointment! The worst bit is that for the majority of the appointment he thought I was younger than what I am as he hadn't even bothered to look at my DOB. So most of the advice he gave was based on a 35 year old woman (he thought I looked younger, at least one bonus!)

In my head I am thinking that we need to be realistic about the likelihood of another fresh cycle but of course we need to give this little embro a chance too. But not feeling all that hopeful after what the guy said!

Only 10 weeks to go Snow?! That feels like it's gone very fast. Glad that all is going well.

He does sound tough going Jen . I'm also not really sure how you can be complacent - of course everyone wishes and hopes the treatment will work especially if it's worked before?! How odd. When are you thinking of starting again?

Great news about the MRI results Cupcake, and good luck at your scan today. Hopefully it'll be all systems go!

Yes, I'm abroad and starting with IUI is standard as a certain number of attempts are paid for by the state (though I guess they'd skip to IVF/ICSI if there was an obvious reason). They're quite hung up on the fact that IUI worked for DS so want to keep trying that way - I don't mind a few attempts but I'm conscious of my age and the fact that they like you to have a cycle off in between, and that lots of things close down over Christmas/New Year so it just feels like time is ticking away (which I guess it is )

@snowdayfet so glad to hear everything is going well. Can't believe it's only 10 weeks to go!

@GenghisKahnSchmitz I get that! It's hard not to worry about age. Treatment and all the waiting in between takes so long! Still hoping this IUI works but if not that they let you move to IVF 🤞

@Jenbot78 that sounds such a horrible appointment am I right in thinking we are at the same clinic? I'm with care Manchester. There has been a lot of change with doctors and we haven't seen the same doctor more than once since starting again. We've not had any bad experiences though yet luckily. The doctor at our last appointment wasn't too cheery though about our chances! I've started prognova and am hoping for transfer in just over 2 weeks. I'm totally wishing the days away as I'm so impatient!

Yes almost there!

jen sounds like some tough decisions to make. I’d be tempted to do another fresh but not sure.

Just one week to go Cupcake. I hope the time is going by quickly.

As for me, I go for my beta bloods on Wed but have done a hpt (or 20) and it's another negative. Gah.

Has anyone watched Private Lives? I just watched it the another night and enjoyed it though I do have a question about stabbing techniques - I just pull out a bit of skin and push the needle in no fuss, while in the film the husband comes at her like Quentin Tarantino to Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction!

Hello everyone,
I have been following with interest this thread for some time. Congratulations to all who have been successful so far.

I was lucky enough to have a beautiful DS at the start of this year and for this I am eternally grateful. I am now beginning to think about trying again, although no AF as yet due to BF.

We have 2 good quality blasts in the freezer from the cycle that produced our DS. (35 year old eggs)

However, I am toying with doing a fresh round, before I get any older (now 37). We had several rounds of treatment with multiple transfers to get our son, so I know we don’t make amazing embryos.

Do any of you have any advice or suggestions on this? I know that an FET is physically much less demanding than a fresh cycle.

Thanks in anticipation

Im sorry it's a negative @GenghisKahnSchmitz here's hoping it's a late BFP. How long is the 2ww after IUI? I've not heard of private lives, will have to look it up! As for injection technique mine sounds similar to yours and I'm a nurse! I just pinch a bit and go for it 👍

@Grandmastersnitch tbh I would be tempted to use up the blasts first if it were me. I've never had frozen until my last round though and I wouldn't rely on banking embryos. I think that's just because of my history. I had 3 fresh rounds with no frozen and only ever got one blast from those fresh rounds. I do get what your saying though about doing it though at as young an age as possible! Hopefully someone can offer you better advice

I've been in today for a scan and my transfer is booked for a week on Wednesday so the end is in sight!

Great news cupcakes! Hoping this is your lucky round.

ghenghis ugh sorry about the bfn. Hoping you still have some hope? But iui stats really not great in terms of percentages so hoping that at least you can move quickly.

snitch I would probably use the blasts first too, I can’t see much difference even if you needed to do another fresh at the end it’s only be a few months difference (am assuming you don’t have pof or any other kind of indicator of poor egg deserve?). That said, I know people who do extra fresh cycles to get more embies for potential subsequent babies - don’t know if you’re thinking even further ahead?! But if not I’d probably just go for the Frosties first.

Thanks cupcakes and snow for your advice.

I have no POF, our issue has been mild male factor all along, so we have had 4 rounds of ICSI in total.

I was coming round to the idea of using the Frosties first.

Wishing you all the best with the transfer cupcakes and to you snow for the pending arrival.

Only a week to go Cupcakes, hopefully it goes quickly for you!

Thanks both for the sympathy, I had my beta today but know it's a bfn for sure. And unfortunately the 2ww is actually a 2ww, which feels like forever, but I have already made an appointment to discuss our options with the consultant at the beginning of December so feeling slightly proactive.

Good luck with your decision Snitch, it's tough as can see both sides of the argument.