TTC 18 months or more -moving on to IUI/IVF/ICSI part 3

[bluebird3]

We have relocated from the conception board where we were previously chatting under the thread 'ttc for 10 months or more'. A lot of us are now long term ttc-ers and are going through infertility treatment or looking to take steps in this direction so we feel this might be a more suitable home for us!

Feel free to stop by and say hi and hopefully we can share the journey together and make it a little easier along the way!

You're being very brave @bluebird3 and I really hope you feel some hope return some time soon. You're doing all the right things and looking to the future.
I'm feel very glum at the moment. I know it's the buserlin giving me the low mood but have literally argued with DH every day for past few days. Saturday night we stayed up until 3am to talk things through after a massive row because he didn't leave a dinner party when I was ready It took me 45 mins to get him out! I know it sounds unreasonable but as I said to him, I'm putting my body through the mill for us to have try and have a baby for us, the least he can do is help make our excuses when I want to leave instead of topping up his glass and getting involved in more conversations.
Everyone is driving me mad because I'm short tempered and irritable and I can't explain why. And I'm beating myself up because I'm drinking lots (well a couple of small glasses of wine) almost every night because of all the xmas dos - I'm out every night this week . It's impossible to not drink without making everyone think I'm pregnant (everyone knows we're trying and have been for a longtime) so I just have a couple of small ones but then feel like I'm not preparing my body properly for the FET. Urgh.
Am I next up for transfer on this thread? I think I am. 5 weeks and a bit till I'll know if it works...

gee sorry you're feeling so rough on the meds. It's really unfair a side effect of treatment is all the extra hormones and drugs that make us on edge. I feel like your leaving the party story could have happened exactly the same with me and dh. I wouldn't worry too much about a couple glasses of wine. People get pregnant all the time whilst drinking and if it helps you relax and not think about ivf all the time that's probably good. Will be cheering you on.

Haven't heard if I've had an interview or not but have spoken to my manager about dropping hours and working part time. They've agreed so I think that will be really good. I need time to sort myself out.

Gee sorry you're finding it tough, how much longer are you dring for?

Blue sounds like a really positive step with work, fx it helps to reduce your stress levels.

We had review appt at fc today & I'm not feeling too happy about it all tbh. The 1 egg that was collected wasn't properly mature, so it didn't stand much of a chance of fertilising, prob could've done with another day or 2 before egg collection. My oestrogen levels were checked when I went for my 1st scan & they were 1000 (it's meant to be about 1000 per mature egg) so apparently that should've been a "clue" that all wasn't as it appeared on the scans - I was just told the levels "weren't overly high" & to continue on my same dosage, & then the next day it was decided egg collection would be brought forward based on the size of the follicles. The most frustrating thing is how positive they made everything sound throughout the cycle, even as they were about to do the egg collection They've checked my amh again in case it's fallen quite a bit since last year, but I've to wait 3 months for another appt to get the results.

Just re-read that last post, sorry for sounding like such a whinger. Just finding this whole process very frustrating.

Hope everyone else is doing OK.

Angel I'd be very frustrated with that too, especially when they had built you up and not given any sense this could happen. Is there anything you can do to be seen sooner - call for cancellations maybe?

Gee hope you're doing okay. You sound so strong a lot of the time, please do cut yourself plenty of slack if you are struggling, it's completely normal. I can sympathise with DH issues - we had a horrific row last night and I went to stay at my parents. Emotions just run so high and arguments blow out of control with us at times. Xx

So sorry they couldn't give you better answers @angelazul how frustrating.
Thanks for your comments on me guys. I am trying to be kind to myself and some days are better than others. Am off for a baseline scan so another milestone today. I just want to beg them to do whatever they can to make this work but I know they are.
Will downreg for another three weeks before transfer which feels like a flipping age!! At least I have xmas and NY in that time and then a week off after transfer. I hope it works and I haven't wished my xmas away for nothing...

Gee I know 3 weeks seems like ages away, but it really will fly by, esp with Christmas & NY. In the meantime, just try to take it 1 day at a time

Sorry you didn't get better news at your appointment azul. I find it really frustrating that there aren't more answers when we go in for reviews.

I've just made my medical review appointment and found out my doctor that we've been seeing for the last 14 months is leaving for a year in January Md has no appointments before then. So now we will have a medical review with a stranger who doesn't know us or what we've been through. Great.

Good luck gee. I'm sure the next three weeks will fly by. Best to try not to think about it and get involved with all the festivities as much as you can. Better to do it after the holidays as I feel super depressed just having a failed cycle and am supposed to be in the Christmas spirit.

On another note, I am now an aunt for the first time. My sister, who told me she was pregnant during my mc has had the baby, the same week my next ivf failed. My niece is lovely but I'm also very, very sad.

Oh @bluebird3 what horrendous timing on both counts. Life really isn't fair is it? I hope you can enjoy some of Christmas though - at the very least the eating and drinking!

Oh blue what rotten timing, life really is unfair sometimes, take care of yourself

Hi ladies

I’ve just spent a long time on the sofa reading your posts, it’s so heartbreaking but also reassuring to know there are other people going through the same.
I have had three CP so blue I am the same as you now, when I see a (faint) BFP I never feel excitement and every time I see people on these boards cheering others on with “a line is a line” I pray that for them it is and the line gets stronger.
Me: 29, DH:29 unexplained as of yet but I have a short LP which I think caused the CP, tried progesterone but never got bfp on it 🤷🏼‍♀️ So now trying trigger shots. Thinking about starting private IVF next year as I feel like we obviously can’t get and stay pregnant.
Blue my twin sister got pregnant when I first started trying so it wasn’t as hard but obviously she has a child now and I still haven’t got a bfp, my best friend is now pregnant too
So nice to see such a supportive group and I would love to have people to talk to.

Hi ttc. Welcome to the group. Everyone here is really supportive but we do sometimes go a bit quiet now and then. I know for me it gets intense around treatment time, then I go through phases where I do t have much to say as infertility comes with. Lot of waiting.

How is everyone doing? Looking forward to Christmas?

Yes sorry not to say hello! You're very welcome and so sorry hear about your journey. I hope the trigger shots work for you but rest assured ivf is actually not as horrendous as you might think. Just lots of waiting as @bluebird3 says.
I'm on oestrogen currently - a couple of weeks away from my first FET. Very glad of xmas and new year to keep me busy in the meantime although definitely not managing the healthy alcohol and sugar free lifestyle I'd ideally have (but is wholly unrealistic!).

Do you try and not drink? In the beginning I tried being good but that didn’t work so now I think YOLO, 16 year old crack addicts get pregnant so a glass of champagne can’t hutt... maybe it can!

*hurt

Agreed. I am two weeks off transfer and currently averaging about a glass and a half a day...

I don't drink alcohol or caffeine during the run up to a cycle or during a cycle but it's more bc I'm concerned about egg quality while they're developing. I'm pretty sure I have shit egg quality so don't want to do anything that might make them more shit. Not a medical opinion just my desperation!

I am going to try and cut down too, I don’t drink much and only have one coffee a day but my body hates alcohol so I will try. I’m 6dpo cramping and pretty sure I saw some pink tinged cm and no for me these are not good signs as I get them every month. Eurghhh

Can I just have a little moan. Been t feeling super cheerful today but made plans to meet up with a friend for coffee. Fried is lovely and went through ivf herself and has been really supportive. It's been a bit difficult since I keep having ivf failures and it worked for her the first time, but she's the only real life friend who really knows what this is like.

Anyways, we made plans for coffee this morning and she is currently 30 minutes late. I know when she gets here it will be due to the baby. I know things sometimes happen but I've been sat waiting in a cafe alone for ages. I finally gave in and just ordered a drink. Feeling glum.

So sorry to hear this @bluebird3 I hate it when people are really late. So rude. I get babies are unpredictable but thats why you should plan ahead and leave enough time! Hope you had a nice time when she arrived regardless.

Hopefully she turned up bluebird! I’m 7dpo cramping like mad so popped in for a progesterone test today to see if it has dropped since 5dpo when it was really high. If it hasn’t then I don’t know why I cramp so much!

Sorry for the moan yesterday. Friend eventually turned up. Turns out it wasn't the baby but holiday traffic. We did have a nice time in the end. It's weird bc I love Christmas so my emotions are all over the place at the minute. I go from happy and cheerful in the Christmas spirit to really low and bitter and depressed, wishing the holidays were over.

Trying to start today with a new gym regime. And by new I just mean actually going. Then going to see my dh's uncle and to visit and put flowers on his aunty's grave. A bit sad, but will be nice to remember her.

How's everyone else spending the day?

Hey @bluebird3 that sounds like a very kind and thoughtful day - fitting for Christmas.
We're working on our house (DIY) and then xmas drinks later. Finished wrapping pressies yesterday so feeling ready for the big day (although not very Christmassy). Just want to escape from the holiday season so I can avoid the inevitable boozing until my FET and OTD but trying to just not worry about things and enjoy myself.

Welcome ttc

How is everyone doing? I've been in a very reflective mood recently, I think we're only now getting over the shock & coming to terms with mil's death (it was very unexpected & quite a traumatic death), & our fertility problems have compounded that grief. The past few months have been unbelievably shit, but we're still standing & we've got each other, & some amazing family & friends. Here's hoping everyone can enjoy Christmas, & something better is coming for us all in 2018 xx

Just wanted to pop on and wish everyone a very happy Christmas. I know that this time of year can be bittersweet especially when visiting family with children and I hope that despite the inevitable moments of sadness you can all have some joy.

I hope more than anything that 2018 brings you what you all want, you all so deserve it.