TTC 18 months or more -moving on to IUI/IVF/ICSI part 3

[bluebird3]

We have relocated from the conception board where we were previously chatting under the thread 'ttc for 10 months or more'. A lot of us are now long term ttc-ers and are going through infertility treatment or looking to take steps in this direction so we feel this might be a more suitable home for us!

Feel free to stop by and say hi and hopefully we can share the journey together and make it a little easier along the way!

jamon I can't answer your question about the down regging...I never had to do that bit with the protocol I've been on. It's sooo frustrating to have things put back but it will be here before you know it. Only a couple of cycles now!

I am reading a good book...called Small Great Things. It's by Jodi Picoult (she's amazing) and has helped keep my mind a bit busier!

Hey how is everyone doing? Blue I love reading, def helps distract me & take my mind off things.

Managed to get through to the fertility clinic this morning, our appts should be going ahead "as far as they know." She did ask several times what date my letter was sent out & that I'd def accepted treatment, so sounds like we may have just got through

Hey everyone. Well, I had my baseline scan today and we finally have the go ahead to start our cycle, having had three weeks on the pill. First injection of gonal f tonight. It came at a cost - I'm down to 5 follicles - but at least we get the chance to try and for that I'm grateful.

My clinic give no lifestyle advice whatsoever for stimms or cycle optimisation. I've read on here about high protein intake, milk and lots of water so i might try that. Need to be a bit careful though as I've tied myself up in knots for the last 8 months with supplements, Chinese herbs, acupuncture, and none of it made a difference to me as shown with the cancelled cycle last month. I have the ISWTE and the ZW books but I really am starting to believe my ovaries will do their own thing regardless. I'm on maximum dose hormones so I'm thinking there's really very little diet-wise that can match that for impact. That said, is there anything anyone thinks I need to know or anything you were told to do by your clinics that you could share? Hope everyone is doing ok.

Great news nolm . To be honest my consultant said that very little apart from maternal age and drugs make a difference. I did these things though as I like to feel I'm "doing" something:

No alcohol from stimms

Stop supplements (except ttc one) a week before transfer

Drink 2l of water and 1l of full fat milk a day - helped with the headaches

Lots of oily fish, leafy green veg, avocados, seeds, nuts, olive oil

Hot water bottle for stomach after injections

Keep feet warm - socks

Fab news angel. Sounds like you made it in by the skin of your teeth!

nolm that's great you're getting started. I also didn't get any advice and as dh is a doctor he is very sceptical of any advise e that doesn't have sound medical evidence behind it. I stopped all alcohol and caffeine from stims and tried to drink loads of water to counteract all the bloating. Best of luck!!!! Keep up updated with how your follies are growing. :)

Great news nolm, fx the follicules grow well!!

Got letter in from fc clinic this morning, pre treatment consultation is on 29th Sept, all feeling very real now

Great news angel. Do you know how long it will be to begin? I think I'm cycling again in early November. Will be here soon but I'm trying to loose a few lbs before then!

Also...can I have a little moan? I saw an article someone on Facebook shared called 'The pain of stopping having babies.' I just wanted to be like...F off!!! Try the pain of not having babies and see what that's like before you complain about having, and making the choice to stop. Urrgghhh!!! It really rubbed me the wrong way.

Great news you have a date Angel and god yes that's irritating blue!
Sorry I've been quiet. Been waiting to have my appointment at the clinic. We've decided our plan for the FET now. I'll be starting downregging when I get AF at the beginning of Nov (8 weeks away ), and having the transfer at the beginning of Jan. Urgh the process takes so long. We're working it around a long haul flight in Nov. The clinic said they wouldn't want me to fly if I got a bfp so we can't transfer till after that. The things we are doing are: scratch (again), aspirin (again, but this time only from when I start oestrogen tablets), transfer 2 embryos this time and then progesterone pessaries 3 times a day instead of 2 times. In the meantime I'll focus on work and losing some weight ideally before my holiday!

Gee plan sounds good, & prob a good idea to wait until after your hols. Where are you heading to?

Blue that would have really annoyed me too, some people really do not realise just how lucky they are I've deactivated my fb account for the time being - too many inconsiderate silly twats on there for my liking. No idea when we'll actually start, ivf virgin here

Hey am I still okay to post here? I'd lost you on the 10 month thread and didn't realise you'd relocated.

No IVF in the near future for us but we are on cycle 18 and DH has a translocation which we know causes more issues than normal so it's a frustrating road. Geneticist meeting in January.

Hey ladies im sorry i have not been on in ages.

I have been trying not to think about the fact that i still have ages to wait for the IVF. I have not been happy as of late to be honest i feel like its impacting on my life in ways that people would never expect. Everyone thinks if you have no kids then you have tons of money and all the time in the world to enjoy your life. I dont think that they realise saving for IVF and preparing your body is the most boring and lonley thing in the world.. I have been thinking of you all. I hope all is well.

Sorry you're feeling so low @ScottishJaggyNettle. It's so hard when you're waiting for a cycle and have given up on trying naturally. Just feels like your life is on hold.
I've certainly gone through feeling distanced from friends who don't understand and the frustration of money issues with all that goes with IVF. The only thing I've found that helps is trying to find something to focus on during the waiting - whether it's a hobby, losing weight, anything really.
Vent away here. We get it.

I'm the same. Really feeling distant from a lot of people/friends these days. I've just had a massive Facebook purge. I've kept all my actual friends but deleted friendly acquaintances or people I knew from school but don't actual see in real life. I need to limit the baby bombs/children pics. I had a couple people I've actually fallen out with and every time something would come up on my newsfeed I'd get upset. Now I feel better...unburdened.

I'm focussing on losing weight. Starting slimming world. I want to lose a stone by next cycle in November.

Welcome bertie! Of course you're fine to join us. Sorry...what's translocution? If you don't mind me asking.

Hi Scottish. That's rubbish having to wait! Do you have a rough idea of when you will get to go?

Hi how is everyone doing?

Welcome Bertie

Scottish sorry to hear you're finding it tough atm, keep your head up

Back at work today & 2 more baby bombs. Cue all the "it must be something in the water" comments. If only it were that easy

Yes no worries. It means some of his chromosomes are mixed up/attached to each other so while he has the right amount of genetic material and is healthy, (called a balanced translocation) he has the chance to pass on either too much or too little to a baby (unbalanced translocation) which basically means the embryo won't develop properly. If they're relatively small issues then it causes birth defects but in most cases it causes severe enough issues that the pregnancy will simply stop developing and miscarry or it will just never implant.

However he could also pass on both of the mixed up genes (balanced translocation) or neither of them (baby getting healthy copies from me I think) both of which would result in a normal pregnancy with normal chances of implantation, miscarriage etc.

It's like if you took two jigsaws to a charity shop but you didn't realise that a piece of one jigsaw was accidentally in the other one's box. If somebody bought both of them they'd be alright because they'd just notice oh, this must be from that jigsaw and be able to move it across. If they bought two totally different jigsaws then they'd be alright because they'd have two intact jigsaws, but if they only bought one of the ones you'd donated, then they'd be stuck with a broken jigsaw or an extra piece which is useless to them. That's the unbalanced translocation.

It's relatively rare so not much is known about it but I've joined a facebook group to discuss it now which has helped me understand a lot, because I used to think it was 50/50 whether DH would pass on a broken gene or a healthy one, but it's not, for some reason they don't really know, it's usual for carriers with a balanced translocation to produce more unbalanced than balanced sperm or eggs. I think there's more stuff I can read to understand this better but it's really over the level of my quite shaky genetics knowledge, so I'm hoping that the genetic counsellor can help with this. Or I'll have read enough to understand it by the time we get there.

Basically it's a numbers game though. It means 50-80% of embryos we'd produce are nonviable. We can expect to wait 2-5x as long (or more) than most people to get a healthy pregnancy and to have more miscarriages along the way. So the first thing apparently they can do is offer clomid which should make me release more eggs which means we have more chances to get pregnant each month. I quite like the sound of that option (especially as clomid is taken by mouth, I hate needles!) but I don't know if it would work for us or not because our pattern currently looks like I get pregnant but then miscarry, although I haven't been pregnant for a year. The main thing they say if you're not coping with having multiple miscarriages is to go for IVF with PGD, so they can look at the embryos before implanting them and only implant balanced ones, but I think that's quite a long way off for us and I feel quite wary about it. But we might end up there eventually. At the moment although it sounds morbid, I'd prefer to get the repeated miscarriages back again because at least it felt like we were getting somewhere.

Hi girls how are you all doing?

Not much to report from me. We're on cycle 22(?) going through the motions until October when we call the nurses and press the IVF button. Some days I manage fine, others I cry and cry. My best friend is pregnant and that in particular is hard to bear. I hate my jealousy but I can't help it.

Gee how come they won't let you fly? We're planning a trip to South Africa in January - which would be just after our transfer. Do you think we need to reschedule our trip? Fx for your next round, I hope transferring two embies does the trick for you

Scottish when do you start?

Bluebird fb purge is a good idea. I'm avoiding as bombarded by Kate Middleton pregnancy everywhere 🙄

Bertie that sounds incredibly difficult information and choices to contemplate. I hope you and your DH are managing to navigate it as best you can together. The group must be a big help - Facebook can be good for some things hey.

Hi all. Sorry am on phone so can't scroll back much.
Bertie - welcome and sorry to hear of your struggles. All I would say is don't be scared of doing ivf - yes it's hard but I'm not sure I would say it's harder than trying unsuccessfully month on month which I find incredibly hard. That said, you have been pregnant before so every chance you could be again. However, if PGS could help you get the right one in there, don't be afraid.
Jamon - I know exactly how you feel about good and bad days. I am a proper rollercoaster but to be fair I rarely cry anymore which is either good or concerning if I'm actually numb to it all. My clinic have a very clear rule that once embryo is transferred in you cannot fly until you've had the 12 week scan (and even then I don't think they advocate it at all for assisted conception pregnancies). We were also planning a long haul flight and would have flown the day after my 6.5 week viability scan if I had a bfp. The clinic said obviously they can't stop you but it's too risky - the pressure changes in the cabin and lack of moving about and the germs in the recirculated air I think. But mainly they said it's because if you got on the plane pregnant after such a hard time getting pregnant and then miscarried, you would always blame yourself and the heavy bleeding could be hard to manage on a plane. They said obviously some people travel for IVF and then have to fly home which is unavoidable, but they said if it's for a holiday and therefore a return flight over about 2 weeks, it's just not a risk they advocate taking in their clinic. Was gutting for me as it's delayed us 2 months getting started again but I have to agree, if I got a BFP and had a successful scan and then lost it on the plane, it would be the shittest saddest holiday ever and I couldn't forgive myself. That said, speak to your clinic, be honest about what you're planning and they can advise you. At least with your DHs job you can reschedule until later in your pregnancy or after the baby is born if you get a BFP and you wouldn't lose any money right?

I have been watcher of threads for a while and wanted to introduce myself.

I am 34

No BFPs ever...

Around 12 months ago I started going through NHS checks after TTC for 9 months Hubby all clear and me all clear until a HSG which showed both tubes were blocked and we were directed to IVF. At that point I didn't want to waste anymore time so we went private.

The private clinic advised to have a further investigation prior to IVF, I had a Laperoscopy and Hysteroscopy (small internal and keyhole op) which showed that there were no issues with either of my tubes or overies and everything looked healthy, die test was clear in both tubes however I appeared to have a partial septum uterus...

I was advised this was most likely the cause of our problems so I had a further op to have it removed. Op went well and I was sent away from the clinic (having spent close to £8k...) but with a good prognosis and message that everything now should be fine and to try again right away.

Now we are 6 months later and nothing happening...

So I have just started tests again with the NHS, as clinic won't even have a follow up with me without a further >£200. All hormone checks appear fine and AMH 24.6 which I am advised is positive, the only thing that ever appears slightly out is Oestradiol which is always on the low side but everything else is in range (I have been tested about 5 times now and always the same)

Anyway it would be amazing to hear from anyone who has been through anything similar! Or has any advice?

I just feel like every clinician I speak to has a different idea as to my situation, the NHS doctors I have met seem to completely discount the septum removal - so did I waste all that money? A doctor the other day even started talking about early menopause - which having no signs in any of my hormone tests ever was just so intensive and after my previous NHS misdiagnosis I just don't know who to trust...

Best of luck to everyone!! xx

Thanks for your advice gee, there doesn't seem to be much consensus online about this and it's something I'm going to raise with my clinic. You're completely right - if I miscarried on a flight or shortly after I'd blame myself. It's not worth it. I might talk to DH about doing the trip in March or April when I'm a bit further along. Well remembered with his job by the way yes you're right we can be last minute with flights.

Welcome hopetobelucky I'm afraid I don't know anything about the uterus condition you describe. Sorry you've had such a tough time of it. To clarify - have you had IVF?

Just read my last post and cringed. Cannot assume IVF will work. I would be further along in March or April - not will be.

Don't cringe jamon! It's ok to think positively. Hopefully you will be happily knocked up by then. My clinic also said wait to fly until 12 weeks, but in addition to the concerns gee raised they said they would want to ensure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy or if it was it would be managed as flying is risky. With my recent pregnancy loss/mc/ectopic (they were never able to diagnosis which) I had ongoing blood tests and different management route possibilities until what would have been my 12 week scan, before I was discharged from the EPAU. I actually had my last blood test the day I was leaving for holiday and they told me if it wasn't resolved then I would need to inform my travel insurance as it could be invalidated. I got the call with the all clear while sitting in the airport departure lounge! Super stressful. Never would have thought a mc would take so long to clear out.

hope that sounds really frustrating and I wish I knew about the uterus problem but I'm afraid I don't. My dh is a doctor and the one thing I've learned about medicine is there are not always clear answers to medical problems. A lot of medicine is trial and error and seeing what new information is gained from a treatment to then be better informed to try the next. So maybe the operation you had was needed so that you could eliminate that as a reason why you aren't falling and now they can look for other reasons? I would just say ask lots of questions and make sure you fully understand the rationale for treatment and if you leave and think of questions then go back to them. I often can't think of a thing sat in front of the doctors but have loads of questions later.

bertie thanks for explaining. I'd never heard of that. It sounds really hard but at least you know what you are up against and can make plans on how you want to proceed for now. I agree that IVF isn't as bad as you might think.

Jamon The early months of next year or so im told.They said i was just to wait on the letter and that it would be about a year. It feels like its been a life time.

Blue/ Gee up : I know it sounded like i was in a bad mood earlier. AF had arrived and i was a bit upset. Im feeling much better now. Its strange i feel like i turn into a diffrent person each month and then back to myself again once AF goes away. Im usally a happy cheery person but im beyond thinking i will get upduffed on a normal cycle... its just not going to happen and then when AF arrives i get a bit weepy about it. I refuse to torture myself thinking it will happen normaly anymore tbh. I have a lot of things that i focus on during the month and i had to lose 11KG before i was accepted on the list. So now im just focusing on keeping it stable.

Well I hope you're feeling better @ScottishJaggyNettle We've all had those days and understand the sadness every AF brings. Hope you had a nice weekend anyway. Well done on losing that weight - any tips gratefully received!! I started running again last week to try and shift some of the 12 kg I've gained since starting ttc.

@Jamon hope this isn't creepy but last night I dreamt you wrote on here that you got a bfp! Feel slightly weird saying that as we've never met haha. Just shows how much these threads are in our minds!