I'm miscarrying. Do I tell my corporate employer?

[Dixxie]

I have a busy job in a big corporate organisation. I'm in the middle of a big project but I think I'm having a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I'm at home today but wondering how I'll be feeling next week and if I will need time off? Will I have hormones everywhere and feel lousy? Do I tell my employer or just call in sick? It's a very male dominated environment...

Tell HR and ask them to inform your manager if you don't want to email your manager personally. You can always call in sick on Monday/Tuesday and this will give you time to talk to HR in more detail.

Tell them. I've done it and they were extremely kind and very sensitive to the personal nature of it. My male boss told me that his wife had miscarried the previous year and was so kind. I work in a male dominated workplace, too.

I can't tell you how you will feel next week because I don't know for sure how things will progress - in my first pregnancy I continued to bleed for three weeks and returned to work while having regular scans, then had surgery to complete the miscarriage and needed a week off after that. I also had a second threatened miscarriage, but the pregnancy was fine, and my son is now 9 months. Just tell your employer what is happening and that you will inform them if you require time off as a result.

Thanks for the advice. I'm worried attitudes will change if they know I'm trying for a baby... I'm probably worrying unnecessarily and it would be better if they knew there's a very good reason to be off work.

Thanks so much. Yes I think you're right and my boss is a good guy. J

I didn't say upthread but this has happened to me too, at 9 weeks. Small company but my lovely manager immediately cottoned on. I would just tell the truth. You will get nothing but support, understanding and non-judgmental accommodation.

it's awful, I know. Mine went on for around 5 days and involved a night in hospital to see if a D&C was required - it wasn't, and at 6 weeks I doubt you will need one. Have you spoken to a doctor? I would, just to get some reassurance. Be kind to yourself and [try to] stop thinking about work.