Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Original poster

We need an 'anonymous' egg donor/egg share Liverpool Women's Hospital,I'm a private patient.Can anyone help?

89 replies

tw33qj60 · 04/08/2015 20:03

Hello! My husband and I have been trying for a baby for nearly five years. We had a course of IVF few months ago but unfortunately my eggs did not respond as they should have and were advised we would need to use donor eggs.
We are on a waiting list at Liverpool's Hewitt Centre,We have been advised that the best way to speed things up would be for us to find our own donor. Our preference is for an anonymous donation so we were wondering if there is anyone out there thinking of egg donation/egg sharing who would be willing to help us out?

We are paying for the treatment so if you are between 21 and 35 years old want to go through privatly financed IVF and willing to share the eggs you will get help towards your treatment.OR we are looking for a kind donor to help us.

The egg donation coordinator has given us a unique code number so that anyone contacting them on our behalf is recognised in this way.
If you think you can help please call Liverpool Hewitt Fertility Centre on 0151 702 4212 and please quote the Reference Number "569R".

Thanks for reading & good luck to all!!

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 06/09/2016 15:04

Thistle - have you looked abroad for donor eggs? Esp if age is on a countdown and NHS ivf stops at 40

Prague comes highly recommend and cost about £4K and flights

Much cheaper then uk

Abroad is usually confidential as well. And child can't look for their donor

Plus in uk it will be on your medical notes that you used a donor so a small chance your child could find out years later

Donors in uk have no such rights and child at 18 can contact them

Lm6705 · 09/09/2016 10:46

I'm
36 years old with 3 beautifully healthy boys. Aged 12, 3 and my baby who's just turned 2 in the last two weeks.
I wanted to donate some eggs to help others as my best friend had horrendous trouble conceiving and I watched the IVF fail and miscarriage after miscarriage then the final egg donor and a lovely boy was born all be it 4 and a bit months early! The heartache my friend suffered was horrendous so I thought I'd donate some eggs.
Turns out I'm too old!!! Full stop to that then.
Don't drink, never smoked, never taken drugs and don't have any illness in my family and I'm stopped in my tracks because of my age.
So sad.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/09/2016 11:47

A lovely thing you were going to do but yes they have age limits for egg donors. 💐💐

As the younger you are the better quality the eggs should be

Tho I have good eggs for a bird my age and friend who is 10yrs younger has poor quality - tho that's rare

Lm6705 · 12/09/2016 16:01

Yes I know a few people who have really poor quality eggs and very few eggs that are a lot younger than me.
There should be a testing process for anyone wanting to donate below 40 years old say?

OneLongDay · 12/09/2016 16:14

Is there a specific website to look at to see if your suitable to donate, from my quick google search it's coming up a few different things

Lm6705 · 12/09/2016 17:27

Wish I could help. I'm as far down south as you can get for one though.
Second I'm 36! I have 3 perfectly boys - the last of which turns 2 very soon.
Such a shame they put an age on egg donation, it's something I have been looking into as a few of my close friends struggled to Concieve and my bestest friend had egg donation.....
My eggs may be of better quality than someone who is 5 years younger than me, they should offer a test / maybe then more people could be helped in your situation.
Really really hope you find someone; do not give up hope xx

Wifey1990 · 12/09/2016 17:54

Hi, I have just had my fertility op and am a perfect candidate for egg donation. Need IVF but have to pay the fee and can lower the costs by donationating my eggs. Please feel free to message me Smile

Thistle13 · 16/09/2016 22:07

Friends 123.
Hi, thanks for your advice, we tried to change our nhs funding to a private clinic and after months of waiting was told we was refused due to the clinic not being under our local ccg.
my GP told me she's unaware of any local clinics that will change us over :-( x

Thistle13 · 16/09/2016 22:16

Lm 6705
Hi Lm 6705, it's so frustrating when you see kind caring ladies like yourself being refused when you are offering to donate your eggs.
36 is a young age and like you say your eggs could possibly be in better condition than a lady 10 years younger.
this is why there is a shortage of donors due to this age restriction, it makes me so sad :-( x

Thistle13 · 16/09/2016 22:27

OneLongDay.
Hi, im not sure which website to go onto to see if your suitable, I know that if your interested the hospital will do the specific tests etc x

Moojay · 30/09/2016 16:33

I want to help. Very close relatives that are struggling with infertility so I have seen the heart break it causes. I have two children, however both were born via c-section. I have asthma and am over weight. I'm not sure if this affects me donating eggs at all?

LyndaNotLinda · 30/09/2016 16:47

It is unspeakably cruel to pretend that you have used your own eggs to have a baby when you have used donor eggs. There could be all sorts of genetic anomalies that could affect your child and it is lying to them about who they are.

There's no shame in using donor eggs or donor sperm. Please, if you're thinking of using donor eggs, contact the Donor Conception Network and think very carefully before you decide to deny your future children the truth about their heritage.

IPityThePontipines · 30/09/2016 16:52

I agree with Lynda. There's also very valid reasons why most sperm and egg donation is not anonymous.

Thistle13 · 01/10/2016 17:31

LyndaNotLinda
I appreciate everyone has their own opinion and I agree that using an egg donor or sperm donor is nothing to be ashamed of, but you really shouldn't be so quick to judge.
Hearing you are unable to have your own children without another ladies help is devasting and heart breaking and really does make you feel like a failure.
I found out nearly 2 years ago now and still get upset every day when I see friends and other ladies around me having babies when all you really want is your own.
I know I am very lucky that I may one day have the opportunity to use an egg donor and I would be forever grateful to that special person for doing that so please don't judge me.

FedUpBird · 01/10/2016 17:42

I egg donated 4 years ago and produced twin boys...sadly I'm now too old at 38 but wishing all of you the best of luck

Thistle13 · 01/10/2016 17:47

FedUpBird
Thank you very much.
you truly are an angel for giving another lady a family she had always dreamed of, takes someone special to do that.

LyndaNotLinda · 01/10/2016 18:34

Thistle - I am the parent of a donor-conceived child. I have thought long and hard about the issues and done a lot of research on donor-conceived adults who were lied to by their parents.

I stand by my earlier post.

LyndaNotLinda · 01/10/2016 18:43

I should have also have said I wish you every success in finding a donor and having a child.

Thistle13 · 01/10/2016 18:45

LyndaNotLinda
When and if I ever conceive using a egg donor I will then think long and hard myself about which decision to make.
Thank you for your opinion.

FedUpBird · 01/10/2016 21:30

When I donated I had to sign a form giving permission for any child upon the age of 18 to find me. I also had the option of writing a letter about me for them to read.

It would be interesting to see whether the mother tells the boys that they were donor conceived, I will tell my children that they have a couple of half brothers in the world so if they do track me down then it won't be a shock for my children.

Moojay · 01/10/2016 22:22

My view, as someone who has been lucky enough to carry and birth my.own biological children is that any child(ren) born from a pregnancy using my eggs would not be my children, nor my children's half sibling. I feel that my eggs would become a part of the woman carrying the pregnancy, it would be the mothers blood, nutrients etc keeping that baby alive. It would be that woman's heart beat baby would hear during the pregnancy and be comforted by after. It would be the scent of that woman that baby would find comfort from and that woman's voice that baby would learn love from. Those things make a mum. Its more than biology sometimes.

LyndaNotLinda · 01/10/2016 22:38

I absolutely agree with you Moojay. But a child has a right to know their genetic origins. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Thistle13 · 01/10/2016 23:42

I totally agree with you Moojay and this is exactly my view and how I feel about receiving donor eggs.
I would always be thankful in my heart to the lady that's donated but it would be my husbands sperm that helped fertilise the eggs and like you say the baby wouldn't be able to grow without my blood supply and nutrients etc so all this makes it my baby in my eyes.
Also when they match a donor with a recipient they do thorough health checks on both the recipient and donor.
But it has also now been proven that a woman using donor eggs passes their DNA on to the baby due to the environment of the womb so the baby can come out with lots of similarties.
like I say we will think long and hard about our decision but it is a difficult time and we will make that decision when the time comes.
Thank you for your lovely words Moojay.

Moojay · 02/10/2016 08:26

Lyndanotlinda
Whilst you are entitled to your opinion do you really think this is the thread to express it?
You made the decision that was right for you and your family. Other families would make different decisions and that's ok.

This is not a place to slate those decisions.

LyndaNotLinda · 02/10/2016 10:06

Yes I do Moojay. Where would be a good thread to get this across? Do you think I haven't struggled with this very topic? Don't you think all of us who have donor-conceived children would have much easier lives if we pretended to our children that their parentage was absolutely normal?

But it isn't about us. Our children deserve to know where they come from, however difficult it is for us to have those conversations with them.