Anyone starting IVF soon? Join me (2)

[purplemeggie]

I see we've filled up the thread and thought I'd better start another one. How's everyone doing?

Sending positive vibes your way shellster and blue. +++++

Welcome second. The poor responder category is a crap place to be in. I am nearing the end of my 9th IVF cycle during which only 3 eggs were retrieved. I couldn't control the quantity but I worked very hard on quality and put myself on a high protein / low carb diet after reading research that showed this increased the number of embryos that survived and I had two top notch (hopefully!) embryos transferred at day 3 if that gives you some hope.

Blue, you were being so negative about the number of eggs you would produce and you were pleasantly surprised. I hope it's the same with your current feeling. After having low milk supply with DS, I have done so much research and can assure you that your breasts would not be preparing for breastfeeding the second the embryo attaches to the uterine wall on day 6. This happans at week 4 as you can see here. Your boobs are probably just 'deflating' as the body is ridding itself of all the estrogen and injection hormones from the stimming.

I said I would get a blood test today, but it's all too much hassle trying to arrange a blood test around work hours and getting in to see the Dr for results. So I am waiting until Monday for my official blood test at the IVF clinic. Might do another home test in the meantime as I just feel that I am pregnant and tomorrow will be day 29 of my cycle so it should be positive by then.

Thanks Purple and Hoho for your well wishes, amidst your own sagas (don't know your story hoho but assuming you are struggling along with us to be on this infertility section).

Shellster I felt nervous when I logged in this morning, I was sure I'd be greeted with your test results!! Anyway, I see that you are keeping us waiting for another few days...

I'm impressed with your will power. I'm not feeling very tempted to test at the moment either. I was concerned with the 'disappearing BBs' because it happened in my last 2 cycles, which isn't a particularly good sign. I've also been feeling some twinges down there in the ovary area which is usually a sign of impending AF. I know I should stop torturing myself with symptom examination - it's a waste of time and energy. So hard to stay away from Google though!

I have my work christmas do this evening...need to come up with a few plausible excuses about the 'not drinking' situation. Or I'll do what I did last time and walk around with a glass of untouched red wine all evening.

Good luck shellster!!

Shellster - you're being very restrained! I'm really really really hoping that this is good news....we're going to be away for the weekend (Reykjavic for Mr Purple's birthday, hoping to see the Northern Lights....sooooo excited!) - but I shall be logging in whenever I can to see if there's news. xxx

purple, I don't know how restrained I am being. Just did my 3rd home preg test! The thing is I am sure I am pregnant, but I didn't feel that excited which I thought I would be after 3 1/2 years of trying, 3 rounds of Clomid and 9 round of IVF! I thought perhaps the reason is that I am just so used to things not working out and I didn't want to allow myself to get excited. So I thought seeing two pink lines might help me believe it. The trouble is, I am still only getting one line. Even this morning - day 29 - the first day of a missed period in a textbook 28 day cycle, it's still negative. So even though I can just feel I am pregnant, it makes me worry that something is not quite right for the hCG to still not be high enough to give a positive preg test. And after all Blue has been through with her repeated chemical pregnancies I can't help but think.

Blue, I totally get the concern if you know that's what happened last two cycles. You are right that symptom spotting is torture, but it's hard not to draw conclusions when you can feel these things going on and are waiting for an IVF outcome. The untouched red wine glass is a brilliant idea... except I reckon I'd cave with all our current stress and start chugging it down!

Okay, must be patient a few more days and Monday will finally provide an answer.

Shellster, keep trying. Some women only get a positive HPT reading on their OTD or afterwards. You're still in the game. Not long until you'll know for sure.

I managed to get through my Christmas party without having to explain the booze dodging. Come Tuesday I may well be helping myself to a large glass of vino of this doesn't work out. The ovary cramps have been on and off all day. I'm still only 7dp3dt though so I guess it could be caused by anything...including the evil progesterone. Under normal circumstances my period wouldn't be due until Sunday but I guess my cycle had gone out of the window. I'm sure I'll find out if it's AF soon enough

I did an uber sensitive test when I was pregnant with DS and it only showed up as a very very faint line the day my period was due. Try to keep positive. I'm tied up in knots keeping everything crossed for you

....and for you too, Blue.... xxx

Bizarre that you get ovary pain when your period is due rather than uterine pain blue. In contrast, I never get ovary pain before my period yet now that I am quite sure I am pregnant and my period is late, I have had a shooting pain from my ovary a couple of times over the last couple of days. So for me, I thought it must be a good sign while you are thinking it is bad. I will be like you now, nervous every time I check in to see what your latest news is.

Yes Purple, trying to be rational and tell myself that like you, I tested for the first time at day 34 with DS and even then it was a faint line so it would have been negative a day or two earlier. Rational me says I know my body and I know the uterus feeling that comes and goes it a pregnant feeling and I know my period is late for the first time ever since TTC # 2. But after so much IVF and failure, everything is panic and just waiting for more bad news, so this part of me says that the standard is to wait until the day after a missed period to test which for me is today, yet it's negative, so something must be wrong.

I will have my blood test Monday which will be your Sunday when Blue's period is due, so we will both be ready with a big glass of vino that day.

Just checking in on you ladies before setting off for our weekend. Not sure if I'll be anywhere near a computer until Monday pm, so in case I go quiet, I'll be thinking about you and wishing you all the luck in the world xxx

I had more feeling in my uterus this afternoon and thought 'mm, that feels more like pre-period cramping as opposed to the usual 'i'm pregnant feeling' I've been having. Didn't think too much of it as my period is late and I know I'm just being paranoid. But I just wiped downstairs and went numb when I saw blood. It's too much to be implantation bleeding. Besides, I didn't have implantation bleeding when I had Max so I can only conclude it's all over for me.

I am however convinced that like you Blue, something did happen and it did try to implant as I definitely had the pregnant feeling before today and my period is never this late in the past even when I've taken progesterone. Either way, it all means nothing in the end if I still am not pregnant now.

I have to go on holidays on Monday and was all prepared to go away pregnant and try to contain myself and keep it secret until I passed the first 12 weeks. Now I am wondering how I am going to cope.

No wonder the pregnancy tests kept coming up negative.

Thanks Purple, that's very nice of you. Have a lovely weekend.

I woke up at 4am this morning with cramps in my ovary area. Yesterday it was mainly on the left, today on the right. Very weird. Anyway it's not super painful so I'm not going to take any painkillers, I'll just see what happens. I wonder if I might have a cyst? I think that can happen after ET sometimes.

Anyway it may well be AF. I'm on so much progesterone that it's unlikely I'll start to bleed, so I'll just have to wait for the HPT results on Tuesday. Psychological torture! Can't wait for this to be over. If it's a BFN I'm going to open the Baileys and have a massive cry.

Shell - still hoping the blood is not what you think.
Fingers still crossed for you both

Shellster, just spotted your message - I didn't see it earlier. So sorry to hear about the bleeding, I can't imagine how you must feel. You know your own body so I'm sure you can draw your own conclusions, but I do know that many women on this forum and elsewhere experience bleeding and still get a BFP. You're going to go in for your beta test, right? You definitely should. That's the only way you'll really know what is going on, even if it is a chemical preg.

I'm so sorry about this. Poor you, I feel quite emotional about it. I'm pretty convinced I'll be in the same boat any day now. It's just awful - sending you a big hug x

hi I'll be starting my first cycle in January. I've just turned 40, I got pregnant naturally in September 2013 but had a silent miscarriage at 11 weeks. Been trying almost a year. Both me and hubbie have had checks and no problems. But we want to try as I feel I'm running out of time. Anyone else my age. I have this psychological barrier that I'm 40 it won't work. However I know many women older than me that have conceived. Mixed feelings about Ivf as there is nothing physically wrong. We are funding privately as it isn't funded in our area and hubbie unfortunately has two daughters from previous marriage. Scared.is this normal

Hello and welcome Mrs. Few of us the wrong side of 40 on here...I'll be 42 in Feb. away from home at the mo and just checking in on Shellster and Blue but I'll post properly when I'm back.

Sending you hugs Shellster - lots of people do bleed as Blue says, so I' m staying hopeful for you xxxxx
Hugs for you too, Blue in this painful last few days xxx

Severe period pain last night and more onslaught of. blood this morning. I don't want to have false hopes and prolong the torture. This is my period - not implantation. Yes blue I will still get the blood test Monday as my clinic requires it. But I think it will be negative since the hCG levels were not high enough to be detected on a home test yesterday and the are only going to decrease from here on in.

Im so :( for you shell.
The wait and not knowing till the blood test is so horrible.

Shellster what awful news. I'm so sorry, I really thought this would be the one. You must feel terribly disappointed. I hope your husband is looking after you - I just don't know what to say. Sending you a hug xx

Thank you both. There really is nothing you can say blue. I have read others posts on here when they are going through similar and I remember struggling to think of what I could possibly write to be any help.

I too really really thought this was it based on:

• Feeling in uterus different to period feeling for 5 days.
• Period pain only starts immediately before period, as happened last night.
• Period being later than every before, even when I've taken the progesterone previous cycles.

So I really do feel I've had an early miscarriage.

I actually had to go out to work about an hour after the bleeding started and am working again first thing this morning. So it's been a case of trying to hold back the tears. As soon as I finish I will go home and no doubt ball my eyes out. Then somehow pick myself up and move forward. I feel most guilty towards my son. It's painful to look at him after an IVF failure and makes me start to cry. He is the one that has to suffer and grow up alone. I know I shouldn't say this when others on here are just dreaming of and will be grateful for one just. But that is just how I feel.

Anyway, nothing you can say. Just getting that rant off my chest.

So how are you coping today blue. I thought your official test would be a blood test as that's what you've had done past cycles. But you are doing a HPT on Tuesday as your official test? Did you have any signs and symptoms last cycles when you had implantation that you are getting glimpses of now, or are you just focused on trying to keep sane these last few days. Perhaps instead of my holiday to interstate, I should have booked a flight to your house and brought my own bottle of Baileys!

Fcking hell Shellster I'm sorry. It's fcking shit. I'm sorry I don't usually swear. It's just a fecking pile of shit.

I agree with Annie, it's just fcking rubbish news Shellster. Really unfair. You did absolutely everything you could to make sure this would work out. It's just awful when your period arrives too.. hopefully it will be over soon so you can try and mentally move on from this & #&%! cycle.

I'm still getting ovary twinges on both sides. Can't remember if I had those in my last two cycles but it doesn't really matter anyway as they both resulted in chemicals . Feeling a bit down in the dumps today.... your news hasn't helped, Shellster. Anyway still no sign of AF so let's just wait and see. I'm not having a blood test this time around... my clinic will be closed. Just going to do a HPT on Tuesday am, which is actually one day before my OTD. Can't face testing for the first time on Christmas Eve at my mum's house so thought I'd do the morning before, which will be 15 dpo. I think I'll get an accurate result on that day, right? 3 more sleeps and then I'll finally be rid of this 2ww torture!!

Devastated for you, Shellster. I was so hopeful for you this time. I know exactly what you mean about the guilt -my overwhelming emotion with each failed cycle hAs been that I have failed ds. But mine is that little bit older -old enough to understand that we have been trying to do something about it for him - and he does seem to accept that. Your when your beautiful boy is a bit older you will be able to explain to him that you did everything you possibly could to give him a sibling. It's all we can ever do as parents. Sending you a big hug and a virtual shoulder. I know how much this hurts and I don't believe for a minute that it hurts us any less because we're lucky enough to have been blessed with one dc xxxx

Big love to you too, Blue. Keep your chin up, honey xxx

I cant see any child/adult being upset if they know what youve been through to get here. 1 ivf is a lot, emotionally, physically, financially.
They seem to adjust in families with 20 kids or 1, and accept it.
Have a break and relax over xmas. Hopefully when you have a review they will have advice/ideas.

I must apologise for my outburst last night. . Sorry if I offended anyone with bad language. I was having a very low day and then had to go to a Christmas party.

Shellster I hope you're ok. X

Blue thinking of you too. Hope you're coping with the wait. X