Starting IVF/ICSI this month - anyone want to join the journey?

[Rumplestrumpet]

After over 2.5 years TTC, we're FINALLY about to start our fertility treatment this month (ICSI). My nurse and husband forbade me from chats and forums, but after following MN threads over recent years I think it would be a great help to share the experience with those going through the same thing.

Anyone else want to share the joys/terrors of belly injections, hormonal madness and a series of medical professionals poking around your nether regions?! And, of course, hopefully a BFP at the end of it all

Oh sweet Allchat i'm so sorry to read your post. It's not necessarily the end, but of course continuous bleeding is not good. I've not been in this position before but from what I've read, if it were just a chemical pregnancy then it could well seem like a normal or slightly heavy AF (hence why many women don't even realise they're pregnant) .
I hope you DH can give you the support you need - spell it out to him if necessary ! Thinking of you tonight, sending hugs.

allchat I really hope you are wrong but I also know you know your own body. I hope your dh has got home by now.

hen that actually makes a lot of sense. I have 50 ICs so was planning to poas every day after et. now I feel you've justified it, and given me a solid argument against dh! and £10k, yikes. fx it works!

No DH. Im not very happy with him tbh. I know its difficult to leave work but he could have said his wife was sick and just worked till 9pm or something.
Bleeding heavy but I think I'm over the worst of it or hope so anyway. My fear now is lying awake alone in the night in pain. Annoyingly run out of Ibrubrofen. Only got paramol
Already been on google seeing how fertile one is after a miscarriage. How sad am I. It's never ending. One dissapointment leaves you grabbing to find some hope. Utter crap. X
Night guys. X

Oh Allchat I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you are fast asleep and not in too much pain.

Battery, I take great comfort knowing that you had negative depressing days during your stim phase and it didn't affect your follicles continuing to grow, or fertilise. But even at day 6, you had more follicles that were much closer together in size than mine and having been through 8 previous cycles, I know the odds with these numbers for my body. But I must smile at you giving me stern words about remaining calm and then pulling BFN's out of the bin to see if they've changed! But I can't call you a hypocrite...

lil, thanks for the advice to not panic and I am sure we will both be hypocrites too when you are going through your cycle in a few weeks and are panicing, and I am offering this same 'stay positive' advice back at ya!

rubmples, that's another reason I like the acupuncture. I chat about why I am there and what has happened in my cycle since I last saw her and it doubles as a venting/counselling session.

Oh, and battery, I had a whole bunch of cheap preg tests from ebay. After my Dec 13 IVF transfer, one was negative within the time limit but later had a very faint but definite positive line. And just like you, even though it was past the time limit, none of the others had done this so I thought it really could be positive. No future tests were positive so it must have just been an evaporation line... and a cruel trick since none of the others changed to positive after the time limit.

allchat. What a horrid, horrid experience.

I know how awful this whole situation is and I find myself wanting to find the perfect words to make you feel better, yet struggling as I know there isn't any.

With my 3 years of TTC and 8 IVF cycles, I often wish I could at least get a hint of a BFP to show that it can happen isntead of month after month after month of nothing. But this just seems even worse to be on such a high and to feel that all the years of pain and TTC are over and then to miscarry. Just awful.

Taking the emotions out of it and to take a practical approach like hen is with her 2ww and daily POAS to get as much info as possible, I think fertiity hormones are on high after this and it does seem likely that your FET will implant if that happens in the near future.

I often see people get a negative IVF and then a positive FET, or a few with a natural pregnancy as was your case. Really does seem to show that our fertility hormones are on high after an IVF cycle

I also know of one lady who conceived the month following her miscarriage and another lady whose hormones were on overtime and she released two eggs and conceived twins following her miscarriage. I hope this is the case for you and it can only increase the chance of your FET working.

Sorry if that is offensive. I know this is such a sensitive subject. Just hope this helps you have light at the end of the tunnel. Thinking of you beautiful xox

Thinking of you this morning Allchat . I'm so sad for you, this is just awful. Like Shell, I wish I had the perfect thing to say, but of course there is nothing.

I hope DH was a comfort when he eventually came home. You shouldn't have to spell out exactly what you need from him, but perhaps he needs to hear it - it is no doubt hard for him to hear (and I'm sure he thinks working hard and earning the money to pay for treatment, children, etc is a pretty significant contribution), but he maybe needs a bit of help understanding.

Take care of yourself, and don't worry about the next steps just yet. Yes, I've heard plenty of stories of increased fertility immediately after miscarriage. And of course you have a frozen embie waiting for you, AND the knowledge that you can also conceive naturally. But for now just be generous with yourself, take it easy.

We're all thinking of you.

Thanks everyone. Feeling a bit emotionally and physically weak to reply to each in turn. DH didn't come home till 4.30am. Enough said. He said he'll pick up dd1 from school though. He took her this morning also. I can't face school or other mums now.
Cramping eased about 1am. I'm still bleeding bright red but I haven't passed any clots yet which is bit worrying as I'm not sure of that means it's still to come and it's going to get worse.
Dd1 went to school crying because she wanted me. She knows something's up.
I'll write later. I really need to drag myself out of bed and make some breakfast. Xx

Also, I'm really sorry if I'm dragging this thread down. I don't mean to, but I just feel really supported by you guys. Hope I'm not putting the shits up anyone too much. Xx

You're not dragging anything down, Allchat - we're in this for the highs and the lows. We need to remember that it's not all BFPs, happy pregnancies and perfect babies. The whole journey is hard, and scary. We're all with you right now. Drag yourself out of bed, give yourself some comfort food, and climb back in if you need to. Maybe you could have a cuddle on the sofa with DD after school, make it a movie afternoon, maybe have her favourite treat?
Take care

Btw Whittle - how was your EC yesterday? I hope it all went well. Any news on fertilisation yet?

Awww Allchat I'm just so, so sorry. I was thinking of you last night and hoping you were ok.

...and please put any thoughts out of your head about dragging the thread down or anything like that, as Rumple so rightly said, we are here for the highs and lows too.

Do you really need to get out of bed today? You should be putting yourself front and centre at the moment, and if you want to batten down the hatches and opt out for the day, the world will still be there tomorrow.

Yes, whitte how was it? Sorry, I have been so wrapped up in my own POAS odyssey I have really lost track of what is going on with everyone else

Don't apologise hen I would be totally the same. EC went good didn't need to panic but hated feeling out of it all afternoon. They got 5 eggs but had a call to say only 2 fertilised. So am going back in tomorrow for ET as there are only two. The embryologist was very positive but I am a bit disappointed and already thinking this won't work. They said if we are happy hey might put both back in. Am gutted there will be none to freeze as don't know if I could face the whole thing again

Hi there. I started my stimm medications 6 days ago and was giving a 450 dose of gonal f to take because of my age 42. I was also given luveris to take along with it. I must say I was really scared at the thought of injecting all this medication in to my tummy, especially with it being such a high dose and not knowing how my body was going to react to it all. 6 days forward and I am really haven't experienced any side effects as yet, thank god, except for the occasional ache and twinge in my ovaries. I hope it continues that way because it is such a worry. I can totally understand how you feel about it all. I had my follicle scan done yesterday and there were 3 follicles on my left ovary, nothing on the right. I know that's not many but I still feel so hopeful and optimistic about it all, just hoping for a miracle to happen and also praying every day that it will work for us. I have to take my first cetrotide injection tonight to stop ovulation so that's 3 tummy injections tonight and then another follicle scan tomorrow morning. So wish me luck x

Dear Allchat

I am so, so sorry to read your post thing morning. It is just not fair. I am thinking of you xxxxxxxxx

allchat, you put tears in my eyes when you are going through this hell, and you are worried about giving us the shits. We would move heaven and earth to change your situation if we could. I know how nice it is to vent away - please rant all you need.

hopingformiracle, I am on 450 Puregon and Luveris too! And today is day 7 for me so I am just one day ahead of you! My day 6 scan showed 2 follicles on left ovary at 11 and 9mm, and smaller ones on right that I worry won't catch up. Can I ask, what day did you add the Luveris?? My nurse had me add it today/day 7, but she is not a good listener and I worry she got the instructions from the Dr wrong. I have a scan tomorrow morning too so we shall report back together (although I am in Australia so 6 hours ahead)

... err actually I am 11 hours ahead over here hoping... and obviously need to go to bed!

whittle, I have been there and totally understand the concern when you start with 6 big follicles and end up with 2 embryos and feel like you are watching the numbers evaporate. Let us know how you get on after ET. Hopefully they tell you how top notch those two look and that will give you some reassurance.

Yeah just hoping they don't deteriorate over night and we can get them back in and comfy. Still hat will be will be out of our hands now

Of course it's disappointing Whittle, we get our hopes up and imagine dozens of follicles and plenty of embryos, but realistically that rarely happens. 2 embies is fine - and you have to remind yourself that it only takes one. You just have to stay positive. I only had 2 embies in the end, and we aren't allowed to transfer both so I have one frostie. You could probably chose that if you prefer, but if they allow you to transfer both then it's worth considering (and understanding what their FET success rates are, as it can vary). I hope you feel better once you have the embie settled inside - I know I did.

Hoping - I love your positive attitude - we have to make the most of what we have and hope for the best! Good luck for the scan, hoping your get your little miracle :)

I know rumples I keep telling myself it only takes one but am so scared they won't survive the night as there is only two. I'm sure they would have said though if they didn't think it eould

Would even

Just came back from my day 8 scan. The lady doing the ultrasound didn't say a word. She gave her paper to the nurse which said that I have a 14mm, 11mm and 10mm and 6 others less than 10. So I have no idea if the 6 less than 10mm are at 8-9mm and likely to be ready at the same time as the larger 3, or if they are 4-5mm and have no way of catching up.

I thought I would feel some relief after todays scan, but I still have no idea if I will produce 3 measly eggs (and probably cancel as the cost is not worthwhile for small chance of success) or if I will have 9 eggs! Hopefully I will at last get an answer at my next scan on Monday!

whittle, going away for the weekend and might not have internet access. Will check tonight before I leave in the hope that you can report some good news and that you can enjoy your weekend knowing you have two growing safely inside you. What time is your transfer?

2pm shellster assuming they call this morning with good news fx will keep you posted