The All Things Donor Conception Thread

[foxinorangesocks]

Thought I'd start an ongoing thread for all mnetters that are having, thinking about having or have had treatment using donor eggs or sperm or who are considering/have been a donor. Come and talk about all stages of using or being a donor, from exploring the idea of donor conception and pursuing treatment (or not) to parenting donor conceived children or being a donor- all in a supportive and encouraging space. Whilst I say All Things - this is NOT meant to be a thread for expressing concerns over the ethics/morals of donor conception in negative/forceful/hurtful ways. Please start a thread elsewhere for this.

lauren, snotty braces young bird reckoned it was because i still owe money to debt collectors, not bothered really as i have other options, the apr was 7.9%, i did one last night through experian, the apr was alot higher, but i may just ask my brother or my parents, as my parents just lent my brother 40k for his new flat as he couldn't get a mortgage as he's self employed, my brother is supposed to pay my parents back by February, by trying to get a mortgage once he's been at the flat a few months, so someone will have the 5k to lend me by Xmas, or i could just wait til i've saved or just take a loan with the higher apr, i would have paid it off in a year anyway!! so many decisions and choices!!
will see what happens tomorrow at the gp and then i'll decide my next move!!

Only just found this thread... I always feel bad coming into an infertility thread as far as I know I'm fertile I just lack sperm (single lesbian).

I'm on my second cycle of DIUI which I'm paying for privately.

hi juneybean, i was originally going to have DIUI, but ovarian reserve is too low, so had to have DE ISCI instead, which was unsuccessful so in the throws of which option to take next!!

Ohh I'm sorry :( Did you fund it yourself? It sticks in the throat a bit when you pay out and it doesn't work! If my second go doesn't work I'm going to have wished I spent the money on IVF instead!

yes i did, so have a few options now 1) get a loan to fund next ISCI
2) save up for next ISCI
3) ask gp for a funding request for IVF on nhs, which i'm doing tomorrow
so fingers crossed number works!!
yes i does hurt but as friend said i could have spent that money on drinking and going out every weekend easierly over the past 10 years, but i haven't i saved it up!!

It'd be interesting to see if you could get funding! It might set a precedent for other singles :) Fingers crossed for whatever you choose.

I've got another scan tomorrow to see how my follicle(s) are coming along (there was only one yesterday at 12mm) my clinic is closed on weekends so I'm praying that we can aim for Monday instead...

Hello juneybean, I recognise your username, are you on goodreads? (Ignore if not!). The infertility title is a bummer even when you're infertile! I prefer fertility challenged but I started this thread so all stuff donor could be discussed and here seemed the best fit. I think because it is a particular way of building a family and I wanted to touch base with a mini community thinking over the same issues about what it all means, how and if you share it with your child and so forth. I can't wait to get to the stage now where I am a donor parent, embrace it and do my very best by it. Do they match the sperm donor to your likenesses or do you get to select parameters?

Bob sorry that you didn't get your loan. Really hoping your gp can help you unpack if you are entitled to funding. Is diui really not an option? Was it the fsh that was high?

Hi Juney

Welcome!!

My area do fund single ladies and same sex couples but I don't know if they fund single lesbians

Are you using known donor? Its funny I posted on pride angel when I was desperately looking for an egg donor and put a pic of me and dp on, I got inundated with lesbian couples asking me for his sperm!

Sideshow that's rubbish about the loan, I'm sure you will get there though

Thank you for the welcome!

foxinorangesocks I am on goodreads but username is jefnerf on there... (it's possible I've mentioned my MN username on goodreads as I opened the Book Vipers group if you're in that)

I got to pick my own donor based on my blood test results (I'm ridiculously rare being CMV and rhesus negative!) but I had a shortlist of 5 donors and a friend helped me to whittle him down to one. So he looks a lot like me and my family and has already had a proven pregnancy.

Lauren which area are you in if you don't mind me asking? I am seriously considering IVF for my third cycle (I only bought 3 vials of sperm!)

My donor is from xytex in america (so my child can access his details when they are 18)

Juney so am I! I'm o neg and Cmv neg!

Im under Oldham CCG, Oldham and Tameside & Glossop my old CCG are both very generous

I just had my 3rd failed ivf yesterday, first time using a donor, we used Care Manchester, where are you?

Ahh I'm at QEH in Gateshead, Tyne & Wear. To be honest I never asked my GP (had a paranoid feeling she'd try to talk me out of it) so have no idea if they offer funding to singles.

So sorry for your BFN :(

Do you have a timeline written anywhere about a typical IVF cycle? It's not feasible for me to take time off work so would probably have to wait until next August when I usually have a load of time off work.

Thankyou! I told Bob to do this....

Find out who your CCG is (clinical commissioning group) call them and ask who deals with assisted conception and/or effective use of resourcing, ask them to send the assisted conception criteria for your area by email to you, this will tell you exactly what they fund, if its not good try your families ccgs and considering moving GPs if you find a close one that does, most GPs aren't even clued up themselves, like I said mine fund same sex and singles but you have to 'prove' infertility so they aren't just funding you for sexual orientation, they ask that you have 6 self funded cycles of iui for eg that have failed before you can access it

I will give you a time line for ivf give me 5..,.,

Ok there's 2 types of ivf a long and a short protocol, as a rule a short is used in ladies who have lower egg reserve, below is an example of short but clinics will differ slightly

You jump straight into a stimulation phase

Day 1 of cycle start bleeding
Day 2 attend clinic for bloods and scan then start injections that night
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6
Day 7
Day 8 attend clinic for bloods and scan
Day 9
Day 10 attend clinic for bloods and scan
Day 11
Day 12 attend clinic for bloods and scan
Day 13 trigger shot at night
Day 14 nothing
Day 15 egg collection
Day 16
Day 17
Day 18 egg transfer

Then test 2 weeks later

You will inject on all the days, some ladies carry on injections for a few days longer depending how they respond, you would also start pessaries to support your lining at transfer too

Long protocol has an extra period of 'down regging' before where they switch everything off and put your ovaries 'to sleep' before restarting, this is sometimes by using the pill, or a nasal spray/injections every day, you might down reg for 2-6 weeks usually where you will usually have 1 scan at maybe day 21 to check its worked, I actually down regged for 65 days it went on forever

The steps above would proceed after the down regging period

Oohh thanks for this, I really appreciate it. Why do they do the downregging?

Firstly to take control of your cycle medically, I had to down reg for the donor cycle as there were 3 of us in it (1 donor/2 recipients) so we all down regged to 'sync'

I guess maybe your body responds better after a forced switch off i'm not sure to be honest, the ladies on short are usually on it as switching it off can be quite risky as its often harder to restart again after

I'm sure there's a better medical explanation!

most of my scan appointments were at 7am leaving plenty of time to get to work

Ahh I wish my clinic was open so early, it's within an nhs hospital so they open at 8.30am.

Had another scan today and follicle is 16mm, have taken my pregnyl this morning with IUI taking place tomorrow! Eek!

hi everyone, how are you all??
today is a great day, the GP said i can put in a exceptional funding request, she asked me lots of questions and is going to speak to another GP(she's new to the surgery)to check how to do it all, i took all the paperwork i could think she would need and asked to have my FSH and LSH blood levels checked again, so fingers crossed!!

Oh that sounds positive!

Had iui this morning, now just taking it easy :)

hope all went ok juneybean?
do you have to take ant medication afterwards, or just hope the sperm find you eggs??

Yes all went well, cervix was being a buggar to find but got there in the end!

Feeling a bit delicate now and got some bad news immediately afterwards so that's weighing on my mind!

I'm not taking any further medication, just hoping the sperm find the egg!

Congrats juney! Glad it all went well for you. At my last transfer I'd held on too long with too much in my bladder and was in some serious pain. My cervix decided nothing was passing through it (seriously, everything had clenched!) so it took a bit of effort too. Sorry you've had bad news, nothing too serious I hope.

Clinic did my final scan today, everything looks great - triple echo clearly visible, fibroid behaving itself and keeping well out of the way, lining is 10.1mm. I've emailed the Spanish clinic with the scan report and pictures so should hear back by the end of today about transfer. Flights and hotels are all booked, this is a go!

No thankfully nothing serious, just lost a load of work for August so a little bit broke! Also making the 2ww go really slowly...!

Glad your scan went well!