Anyone starting IVF soon? Join me.

[Shellster52]

After 3 full failed IVF's last year, I am about to embark on my second last attempt. I started an IVF thread during my last IVF, and everyone got pregnant but me. So I swore I wouldn't do that again this time. But I find myself wanting to chat with people going through what I am, so I am starting the thread again. Join me as I seem to be a BFP magnet!

Oh yes - if it was only a day 2 transfer making this quite early for pre-AF then it must be a positive sign! Fx

Thank you. That is exactly what I needed to hear.

Off to put the finishing touches to the roast, now.

Hi all - I left Paris and I'm in LA now. Got to say, it's a good job I'm not mid-IVF at the moment. Flights and time differences are messing with my mind, and I wouldn't want to be trying to work out when to inject myself. I love it here - sunshine and blue skies. Wish I was staying for more than 4 days!

Purple - stay strong and hold on until your test date. The bleeding isn't necessarily your period. Try and stay away from Dr Google too...there are 100s of posts out there with good/bad stories about bleeding and none of them are about you! They will turn you into a nervous wreck. Annie, not sure how you are getting along but I'm sending you some PMA and keeping my fingers crossed.

Shellster that's great news about your husband. Hopefully he'll start feeling better about himself and want to stick with the new lifestyle. Definitely a good thing in every way!

Blue - I wish I'd read your post half an hour ago....guess what I've just been doing! Thank you for the reality check. You're right: they are not me.

It's been quite an emotional day. My lovely Dad - who doesn't know that we're nearing the end of our 2ww - in fact, doesn't know that we have done another IVF cycle at all, although he knows that we were planning to - sent me an email about one of his students whose family (from abroad) have a history of adopting and would be prepared/able to help us to navigate through the red tape if we were to adopt in their country. Might we consider this if our plans to have our own child don't work? This is not good timing! I'm not able to consider anything about babies/children without dissolving into tears at the moment. But this is serious Plan B, time...

I read this post yesterday and didn't comment because I read your first comment Purple about the bit of spotting and I just went into panic mode on your behalf and didn't know what to say. And now today more posts about spotting and turning to tears at the thought of babies. What an emotional wreck IVF turns you into. Must do even more so after telling yourself this is your last IVF. I looked into fostering if IVF doesn't work out. Even looked up re-lactating as that went pear shaped with my son and I truly felt deprived of a part of motherhood not being able to do it. But like you, all this made me cry because it was not what I truly wanted. Mmm, I still don't have much better to say today. Just want to fix the stress for you because I know how terrible it is... but it does seem logical that this different fresh blood spotting means something different.

What a job you have Blue! Yes, you are right. Great news about my hubby. Now if only I could bloody stick the the high protein diet and stop finding junk to eat I will be able to feel like we've given our next IVF our best shot.

Oh purple I'm sorry you have some bleeding and I hope it goes away and you get your BFP next week. Sending masses of positive vibes to you.

I'm back home from 4 nights away and although I'm not officially meant to test until Monday I couldn't resist a test at 9 days past 3 day transfer. Sadly it's a BFN....

I was feeling twinges this week but it must have been the progesterone . I'm running out of hope but there is still a little bit of time left..

Another BFN this morning day before test day. I'm so upset I can't do this again as I have no holidays left until April 2015. I really thought I had a chance im so stupid for letting myself believe this would work and that I was feeling queasy etc etc ... This is so hard i need to find ways to cope. I want to quit my job so I can take time to do it again soon this is my last chance. Maybe I should work on accepting I'll never have children

Sorry for splurging all that sorrow out on the thread. I've had a good cry now and feel better. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Most of you have been through this and coped very well and know I can find the strength and means to do that too.

Annie - firstly, I'm so very sorry - I know how low and miserable you are feeling and there is nothing I can say to make that feel better, but we're all here for you - splurge as much as you want and need to xxx

Secondly, this thing is much bigger than work, so if you want to do it again, then you can find a way. You might need to be more open with work than you would choose, but they have to treat you fairly over this as it would be sex discrimination to do otherwise. If you really don't want to discuss it with them, then could you get your doctor to sign you off work for the treatment time? I know it's much harder for you logistically than for most of us because you have to fly somewhere for the duration rather than fitting your appointments in around work. I don't know what you do for work - could you work remotely? Could you request flexible working conditions to enable you to continue with your treatment? They have a legal obligation to consider these requests.

Finally, do test again tomorrow and keep taking the progesterone. It could just be a shy one.

Sending you a big hug, Annie - it's such a tough time. And don't try to be too strong. I completely fell apart last time, a week or so after the event, because I'd just tried to get up and carry on. Let it out. Crying is good for you... xxx

purple you are so kind and supportive. Thank you for being there for me when you are going through it yourself.

I needed that wee cry and mini-breakdown and do feel better and able to think more clearly now.

You are right, this is way more important than work. I work on fixed term contracts for the NHS so im not in a strong position to negotiate flexible working. Colleagues on perm contracts have taken special leave for IVF and I did mention this to my boss but he wasn't picking up on it so I didn't push it as I was so desperate for him to agree for me to use up all my annual leave in one go to go for this treatment. He has been supportive in that way and said "all I'm concerned about is that the work gets done". My contract ends in march so if I have to quit for treatment then so be it.

On the positive side I have my little frozen embryo waiting down in Edinburgh so there is hope there .

On Thursday I have an appt with my Ob/gyn who referred us for IVF on the NHS and is going to speak to us about when we are scheduled for treatment so there is also hope there .

And of course it is not over yet for this cycle there is still a little hope left that they are being shy.

Do the progesterone suppositories (I'm on crinone) make you feel nauseous and dizzy? I've been feeling a bit dizzy this morning. Only 3 more days of those to take thankfully.

I've got my blood test on Tuesday as couldn't get an appt for tmw and may not get result for days as GP surgery take ages.

Purple has your bleeding / spotting stopped? It sounds like it could be implantation which would be wonderful. I read that the progesterone can also make you spot. Both times I got pregnant I had an implantation bleed around day 12 so it could be a good sign.

I'm having room spins this morning and I think it's the Crinone progrsterone suppositories. It's horrible. Only 3 more days of these left thankfully!

Hugs, Annie - we're in this together x
I'm on Cyclogest and it's my least favourite bit of IVF. I haven't noticed dizziness, but I do think it makes me a bit nauseous - which is particularly cruel, when you're looking out for that and hoping it's a symptom. It also gives me very achey muscles.
The bleeding hasn't really stopped, but it's just happening (sorry, TMI alert) when I'm doing a poo, which happened in my last pregnancy too, so I'm trying to stay calm about it.
Take care of yourself x

I just had brown spotting when I went for a poo ( sorry!!! Tmi!! ).

Will stay calm like you purple. It is what it is and we just have to be patient.

Hugs back to you xxxx

So sorry annie, so wanted to hear how you're getting on that I spotted your post & stalked you. Sending you a massive hug & really hoping u get a late bfp xx

Oh thank you Ginger I knew you'd be thinking of me my ttc buddy. I wis I had good news to post on the "old birds" thread. It's not looking good I'm afraid. Cramping started this afternoon . Xxx

I'm so sorry, what utter bollocks ttc is. There's nothing anyone can say, you're gonna have some grieving. And then decisions about frostie & nhs cycle. But you really are in my thoughts, sending a big hug & a massive glass of wine x

Oh Annie I am sorry. IVF is a horrible, miserable thing. I'm sure you don't want to get your hopes up but please do test on your official test date - both of my (albeit chemical) pregnancies didn't show until quite late.

In the meantime feel free to rant, rave and cry on here. We're all in the same boat. I know how horribly unfair it feels after weeks/months of planning. Sending you lots of xx

Annie so sorry that the signs aren't more positive. However, fingers are remaining crossed over here, as my theory is that if we all manage to incorrectly symptom spot for non-existent pregnancies, our symptom-spotting for failures must also be equally wrong. (IYKWIM)

I have just returned from my post op appointment and my doctor had the results from the endometrial scratch/biopsy. They confirmed the small amount of endometriosis (which she removed during the lap) and also tested for Natural Killer cells. It seems of the 3 types of NK cells, 2 of mine are raised above the normal range, and that this could be impacting implantation success. She said that the scratch itself can improve things for the coming cycle, as my body will have sent in lots of repair cells which should help counter the NK cells. But she would also like me to take a blood anticoagulant/ thinner, which is meant to improve immune response. Is this similar to what you have been taking purple? Mine will be injected (woopdeedoo) from egg transfer through to 7 weeks (if I get a BFP - just till the BFN if not). $100 per 10 days. oh joy.

Anyway, will try anything of course. Currently on day 4 of Stimms.

Annie, please feel free to let all splurging out here. That's what we're here for. And helps us know we are not alone when we go through the same thing. It's so lovely to have such support on here. I only wish I could be more supportive to be able to control everyone's outcome.

I have about four more weeks until I start IVF again. After my last failed cycle, I just wanted to get on with the next one ASAP as I couldn't stand the failure and just wanted to quickly get on with getting a BFP. I forced myself to be patient and allows my ovaries a break, but now I'm being reminded on here of the emotional toll IVF takes and I must take time to enjoy my sanity and rebuild my strength mentally too.

Just checking in, Annie on your test day. Love Smidge's point about symptom spotting....she's wise, that one.

Smidge - yes, sounds like the same meds I'm on.

Thank you so much ladies for allowing me to go through all these emotions as they happen!

Another BFN this morning but I'm still clinging on to the hope that it's a shy one or it's been hanging around a long time deciding where to settle in and a late implanter...

I got a shock yesterday with the brown spotting and cramps and immediately thought the worst.

The mild waves of cramps have gone and there is still only v slight brown tinged Crinone when I wipe and only after a #2.

Last night I was having room spins as hot flushes in bed and woke up to a sharp pain in left ovary that lasted a few seconds then went away. I'm also having heartburn.

Today's FRER was negative but I do feel slightly queasy and have Had some sharp side-boob shooting pains.

All these symptoms could be the progesterone of course.

I can't get a blood test until tomorrow at GP and result could take a day or so, so I'll just have to go with it and hope for the best.

No problem, Annie. My optimism is dissolving a bit, too. More bleeding and a bit of cramping today....lots of other symptoms, but it's so difficult to tell what's hormones and what might be pregnancy, isn't it? xxx

How are you bearing up, Inconceivable? Are you staying sane

Hi purple yes it's particularly cruel as you say that progesterone mimics pregnancy symptoms. I wish I'd known that and I'd have curbed my optimism earlier.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I would love it so much if you got a BFP xxxx

Thank you x I'm a bit all over the shop this evening. I could not sleep last night. This is really unlike me - I always drop off straight away, whatever's going on in my life. If I'm stressed (work, usually), I wake up in the wee small hours and can't get back to sleep, but I always manage some sleep at the beginning.
Last night I lay there, physically exhausted, but with a fizzy head. Not worrying about anything, just busy with thoughts about all sorts. Eventually, I got up, made some hot milk, browsed through Mumsnet for a bit, and then went back to bed, where I dropped off relatively quickly, but woke up several times during the night. I even managed to convince myself that this was a symptom, because the only other time I can remember this happening, I was pregnant, but didn't know it yet.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably not very well. I've been far too hot over the last few days - thought that might be a symptom, too - but this evening I'm freezing and shivery.
Aaaaaaargh! I just want to know, now....

Annie and Purple, my thoughts are with you both. It's nice that you have both gone through it at exactly the same time and have each other for support. I will keep checking in to see how you are going. The last few days of the 2ww always seem to last the longest with every hour being torturous.