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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Anyone starting IVF soon? Join me.

999 replies

Shellster52 · 06/03/2014 03:35

After 3 full failed IVF's last year, I am about to embark on my second last attempt. I started an IVF thread during my last IVF, and everyone got pregnant but me. So I swore I wouldn't do that again this time. But I find myself wanting to chat with people going through what I am, so I am starting the thread again. Join me as I seem to be a BFP magnet!

OP posts:
AnnieHoo · 12/10/2014 16:54

It's rubbish isn't it? I'm sleeping ok. My boobs are a bit achy and can't lie on my front anymore. My nips are like bullets, everyone is picking on me I hate everything in my wardrobe!! Just the normal PMT symptoms then. Smile

I noticed that I've really let the hydration slide since EC! Must drink more water... Urggg

purplemeggie · 12/10/2014 22:34

Oh dear....that's a bit like looking in the mirror! I'm sleeping fine apart from turning over - and that's in spite of the steroids that are supposed to interfere with sleep - I'm just really achey. I was like that all the way through ds' pregnancy too - midway, I was in agony, but then he changed orientation and it eased off towards the end.

Shellster52 · 12/10/2014 23:43

Seems the completely normal thing that every one does Purple of having a plan B to protect ourselves. You are one strong cookie with your plan B being able to say 'this is it and I will find a way to move forward'. What a loving cousin to make such an offer - even if she doesn't yet fully understand the implications. I feel that donor egg is not for me so it kinda leaves me just repeating IVF after IVF as I have no alternative that I feel happy with.

Well at the party yesterday with the 4 day old - I was looking at the regular beer drinking unhealthy looking pot belly father, and the not so youthful looking mother. Made me think, well they are able to conceive and here I am trying to eat healthy and do everything right with no success - screw it - I'm having a drink too! Ended up having 4-5 drinks! I think to put me out of the misery of that situation. Feeling sorry for myself this morning and annoyed I was not stronger and am lowering the odds of my next IVF working. Grr. Sorry, babies all around me at the moment and need to have a bit of a whinge.

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purplemeggie · 13/10/2014 07:00

Poor girl - don't be so hard on yourself. You set yourself such a high target so much of the time - and as you say, others manage it who drink and eat badly, so that isn't all of the story. Letting your hair down, once in a while, is good for RaLG, anyway. xxx

anroga · 13/10/2014 10:30

Hi girls

We had our first IVF consultation on Friday which went well, ALOT to take in so my head is still swimming a bit with all the information that was given to us but we start at the end of November.

The consultant has told us that they will perform ICSI rather than IVF. I will be put on the pill for two weeks and then start long protocal injections after that, after egg collection they will not transfer the eggs until day 5 (think this is due to my PCOS and my age?!)

Has anyone else had ICSI instead of IVF?

Any other information would help girls as I am still trying to get my head round it all!

xxx

Shellster52 · 13/10/2014 10:59

Yes, you are so right Purple. Thanks for the reminder that others are not perfect and it still works. After so many failures I feel I have to step it up a notch for it to work, but perhaps I have to change my mentality most of all. Did a meditation today as part of my trying to R&LG. Apparently it takes 8 weeks for you to get in the habit of reducing negative thoughts and increasing positive ones so I am practicing now in advance of IVF

anroga, sounds like you have lots of info swirling around in your head. I will be starting at the end of Nov too so nice to go through it together. Although I assume the end of Nov is when you sill start the pill? Where as I will start my actual IVF cycle then, so maybe I am a bit ahead. When you say 'any other info would help', not sure what info you are after.

To be honest, it seems that those who don't have all the info and simply trust in the clinic seem to be the most relaxed, as opposed to me who has repeated IVF failures and have since read every study in the world and now have more info to stress about if things don't go perfect.

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anroga · 13/10/2014 11:26

Hi Shellster

Yes it sounds like you are a bit ahead of me as I will start the pill around the 28th of November on the first day of my period. Still nice though that we can keep in touch with each other progress.

Well really just if anyone has had ICSI and success with it. I think you are definately right about just trying to trust the consultants and the clinic and what they are doing rather than reading into it all too much, I am the worlds worst for that!

I think stress is a big factor Shellster, I get so stressed out with work and a friend of mine who had IVF that failed first time round was in a very stressful job in the city. She then got made redundant had her 2nd IVF shortly after and it worked, she now has twins! She swears it was because she wasn't in that stressful enviroment at the time, was off work and had relaxed (not sure how she didn't worry about no income but hey!)

Wish you lots of luck for the end of November x will keep in touch x

Smidge001 · 13/10/2014 12:03

Hello everyone. I had my laporoscopy today and am feeling a bit sore (well actually it's not too bad if I don't move, but I simply can't get myself out of a lying down position on my own!). I have an official post op debrief in a week, but the doctor did see us afterwards and said there wasn't much endometriosis at all - she found one small bit on the outside of my uterus, but tubes ovaries and inside uterus are clear. Kind of in 2 minds as to whether that's good or bad to be honest - back to being unexplained! Anyway, she said to continue downregging and go ahead with this upcoming IVF and we'll take it from there.

5 days of lucrin injections done so far. They've been going ok actually - it's quite a small amount of liquid to inject, and apart from a bit of a reaction on the first day, the rest have gone in fine and no real bruises. Mind you, I shall be injecting into the top of my thighs for the next few days as my tummy is sore - and I seem to remember that being harder to do.

Blood test on weds to see when I start the FSH. Though I would presume they'd wait til after my period which isn't due til Fri/Sat. Doctor wasn't happy this morning that we'd been having unprotected sex but I swear blind she didn't say we couldn't, and that in fact our discussion was that based on the dates she'd get them to do a pregnancy test before the lap, which I presumed meant we could still try naturally (I mean, why else to a pregnancy test?!). Anyway, I'd done one myself this morning and it was negative. They also did a urine test too and same result. Hope it wasn't just too early though as I'm still 4 or 5 days away from AF. Nothing I can do about it now apart from kick myself

AnnieHoo · 13/10/2014 19:24

Hi all
Sorry to post and run! Heard today that both embryos made it to day 6 blasts. One was not good enough quality to freeze but one was Smile.

inconceivableme · 13/10/2014 20:09

Annie - great news on the frostie Smile

smidge - hope you're recovering ok from the lap. I had one in 2011 and remember the discomfort well. We were advised no unprotected sex during the lap cycles, before or after (after was wishful thinking I reckon!).

Shell - I remember those feelings of envy, anger and unfairness too. I beat myself up too much by comparing myself to others who could conceive easily. I still do to an extent even though I now have an IVF child. It's nowhere near as bad as before obviously but lots of my mum friends are openly planning siblings for ideal age gaps and others have already had their 2nd so had 2 under 2. And we're doing FET, though they
don't know that!

Anyway, my embryo transfer has come forward to THIS Thursday! My lining got ready quicker than expected. I'm glad I insisted the clinic scan me earlier than they originally suggested as I thought this might happen after how I responded - over responded - to the oestrogen on our first, abandoned attempt at FET. So, wish me luck!

Smidge001 · 13/10/2014 23:43

after!! Yes I agree! No need to warn me off that one Grin

Well done on getting the scan done earlier, and good luck for the transfer. So exciting!

And congratulations to annie too on having one make it to freeze. I'm hoping we manage to get some decent frosties this time round as we didn't manage any last time.

Shellster52 · 13/10/2014 23:48

anroga, I too am the worlds worst at reading into everything so join my club! We too are doing ICSI but no success story to report yet. I guess those who have had success are off enjoying their pregnancies or babies and not venting on this infertility thread - so just because you don't see success here, they do exist!

So Smidge, your period this weekend and then you are next to go through the IVF ropes on this thread. I too would be having sex and not wanting to waste a single opportunity to try naturally. I think most people would even if the Dr had of said not to. Let us know how you get on with your blood test.

Annie, that's amazing news about your embryos making it. Even though one was not good enough to freeze, must give you some reassurance that if they made it in the petri dish, then the ones inside you must have stood a good chance of making it to that stage as well. I always thought they were frozen at day 5. Was it just that your embryos took an extra day to get to blast or does your clinic do day 6 freeze as standard? Just curious.

Good luck inconceivable as you join the torturous 2ww with Annie and Purple!

Okay, in the midst of babies all around me and my sister constantly updating me with her baby, I must try and get my head in the right space for my next IVF. Just bought 'IVF Companion' online. It's a hypnotherapy CD with a recording for the stim stage and one for after the transfer. Has anyone else found any good online IVF/fertility meditations they can refer me to for while I wait to start IVF? Or any tips that has helped you feel more positive?

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bluemoonday · 14/10/2014 14:54

Hi all - sorry I've been a bit incommunicado, work is really busy and I'm in Paris at the moment. Nice distraction from the IVF mindmelt!

I have a hysteroscopy scheduled for the 28th Oct and I've had all my blood tests done. It feels reassuring to know that our doctor is trying to rule out all controllable miscarriage issues before we embark on round 3....although it's hard at the same time because i am the world's most impatient woman. I need to get a grip and realise that a couple of months is really not going to make much difference in the grand scheme of things. Shellster, I know you are in the same boat!

Annie, congrats on the frostie, good to hear that you and Purple have reached the dreaded 2ww. Hopefully you can practice a bit of RaLG.

Shellster I don't have any tips for meditation stuff but I do practice a bit of 'thankfulness' and it helps me. Basically at the end of every day, I try to think of 3 good things that happened that day (even if they are ridiculously tiny), and I feel thankful for them. Helps me keep a bit of perspective on the fact that even though i am desperate for a baby, there are still many good things in my life and I'm a lot better off than most people - child free or not. Not always easy to keep a grip on that perspective but I do try!!

purplemeggie · 14/10/2014 20:23

Woohoo, Annie - great news on the frosty. Congratulations. Here's hoping that the two tucked up do their stuff and that's a little sibling x

Smidge, personally, I'd be happy about the endo. I always wanted them to find something too, but it needs to be something they can fix, whereas endo is tricky. We were told there's a "halo" effect for about 3 months after the lap and dye, so fingers crossed that this proves true for you.

Inconceivable - yup, that was me, about six years ago, planning for age gaps. Then five years ago, then four, then panicking at the size the gap had reached. If this one works, it'll be over 7 years. Good luck with your FET on Thursday.

Blue - send my love to Paris. I'm envying the glamour (I work in Staines Wink). Definitely good to have all the tests and rule out anything that you could avoid...think of it as saving time - and heartache - in the long run, rather than delaying your next cycle. I love the idea of "thankfulness" - I do something similar - I pulled myself out of a very black depression a year or so ago, by making a list of each little thing that made me happy in a day, and trying to reach 10 by the end of the day. It could be something as small as honking geese flying over, or the smell of grass, but it worked wonders.

Hang in there, Shellster. It's nearly November... xxx

Shellster52 · 15/10/2014 01:53

Thanks for the relaxation tips Blue and Purple. They are free and easy so will def give them a try.

Like you Blue, I am so impatient. My IVF cycle starts at the very end of Nov so it feels ages away. Your work seems varied and busy so that must help. I have hours of quiet time at my work where I sit on my laptop and IVF is on my mind! Do you know when you might start. Sounds like around same time.

I did a meditation last night that did help put me in a more positive frame of mind for a bit afterwards. They say it takes 8 weeks to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones so if I keep doing it daily, hopefully each time the positivity is a bit stronger and lasts a bit longer. Going to take some effort to remove negativity from my mind when all I know is failure from 9 attempts so far.

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AnnieHoo · 15/10/2014 17:51

purple it's too soon to test isn't it...?

AnnieHoo · 15/10/2014 18:20

I stupidly tested with a first response and got a bfn and feel so sad but I know it's ridiculous as it's only a week tomorrow since transfer. Sad going to be devastated if it doesn't work but have always expected it not to work just stupidly got my hopes up recently. What will be will be ...

purplemeggie · 15/10/2014 18:29

Waaaay too soon to test, Annie. Put that out of your head straight away. It doesn't mean anything.

When I had ds, I only got the faintest of faint lines on the night before my period was due, with one of the uber-sensitive hospital grade tests, so I certainly don't believe in negatives any earlier than that.

xxx

AnnieHoo · 15/10/2014 18:43

Thank you so much for getting back so quickly and lifting me out of my downer!!! I was told to test on Monday, when are you testing?

purplemeggie · 15/10/2014 18:54

Only sorry I didn't spot your message a few minutes earlier and in time to say "don't do it!" Wink

I've been told to test on Wednesday. Seems a bit late, thinking about it, because in a "normal" cycle, AF would be approx 14 dpo and that would (presumably) be EC rather than ET, but I'll wait until Weds anyway. Not in a hurry this time. Yet!

xxx

AnnieHoo · 15/10/2014 18:59

Thanks purple! I'll put them away now and forget about it until next week Wink x

Smidge001 · 15/10/2014 23:43

Oh good luck Annie and purple! V. Exciting!

I just picked up my medication - supposed to call when I get 'full flow' but struggling somewhat to work out when that is. Sounds daft I know, but I'm not sure if the lucrin may impact AF, as well as just having had a lap so (a) some bleeding expected from that (b) hard to tell what aches are surgery related vs pmt and (c) I'm having to use pads and not tampons - this is the main issue - I've no idea how to tell how much blood on a pad equates to an orange tampax! (As well as (tmi!) when I go for a wee some blood/clots disappear down the loo and I miss them, whereas if I was using a tampon they would be obvious to see...)

I think on balance I'm going to call and say today is day 1.

purplemeggie · 16/10/2014 07:17

Smidge, that made me snort out loud! I reckon you'll be able to work it out!

EmmaGH · 16/10/2014 08:04

So many people in the 2ww!!! The suspense is so exciting! Annie and Purple I've been thinking of you. Have I missed anyone?

I'm also in a 2ww period, if we're taking non-IVF cycles into consideration. Although I feel like this is an experimental cycle rather than a 'real' cycle: I've been BBT charting to try to see if I'm ovulating since the IVF/lap/firbroid removal has anyone else done this? It's deeply boring, but usually I have a very distinct 'textbook' dip to show I've ovulated, but this time it was a slow rising temp so it's all guesswork as to when/if I actually did only to discover I have a full 20-day pack of Clearblue ovulation sticks and months' worth of generic ovulation sticks that I must have kept out of storage when we moved. All that hassle could have so easily been avoided.

Smidge, I am joining you in sharing TMI: use a Mooncup. It's (very) messy the first few times you use it, but a godsend for anyone with a heavy flow (I recouped the initial cost in about seven months) and it forces you to have a (very) intimate look at what's coming out of you AND you can measure exactly how much you bleed because it has measurement lines -- and that, disgustingly, may be my favourite thing about it. TMI!!!!

EmmaGH · 16/10/2014 08:11

(I don't think I realised quite how vilely granola I am until I started writing all this stuff down: vegan, yoga-taking, Mooncup-using... urg.

Dare I admit I voted Green last election?!)