Assisted conception after recurrent miscarriage part 5

[Mel3062]

Hope this is right ladies ...

sue I so feel for you and what you're going through. I've thought the same and OH has raised the point, what if something (god forbid) were to happen to me, I need to think about DD. Given that I'm older still, apparently older ladies (my type older, not yours, you're a spring chicken :) ) can have serious problems towards the end of their pregnancies.

However, I don't know, I felt absolutely fine when I had DD at just-39, and I don't feel any different now. Only you know how you feel, health-wise.

As for chasing that elusive egg, well that's another tricky one. We have absolutely no way, unfortunately, of telling what state our eggs in. I do think of abney and her success, but of course everyone's different.

I was going to ask the same thing as buzzy, have you thought of DE, but I see you don't want to do that and I understand. I know I wouldn't feel any different with a donor egg child than I would to DD - if I've carried it in my body then he or she would be my child in every way possible and I don't believe I would love him or her any differently, of course the whole epigenetic angle helps as well. But I completely hear you and your feelings (and your DH's) are obviously what count, only you know yourselves.

I know my DD's illness has made me rethink the whole process myself, but I still haven't come to any hard and fast decision even so.
I would caution against deciding anything right now, but perhaps taking a break from the whole rotten proceedings might help you. Give your body a bit of time to return to normal, and your heart and head some time to heal too. Getting off the rollercoaster might help things settle and see how you feel in a few months or so perhaps?

Take care of you, we all understand how you feel and we're here for you whatever you decide. xx

Sorry nanny I missed your question. I take Super Omega capsules from Healthspan, 6 a day (3 morning, 3 evening)!

I think most things have been said Sue and I agree that now is not the time to make decisions. Your emotions must be all over the place and I don't know about you but it always takes me a good few weeks or so to start feeling less hormonal and more like myself and not crying at the drop of a hat!

I think it is very hard to know when to stop particularly if you get pregnant naturally, for us because of the expense of ivf we will use our frozen embryo and then if brave enough try with a de and then that would be it. Not sure about adoption but maybe will feel differently when get to the end if treatment.
I would be ecstatic to just have one child and be able to have a family life although that dream seems very far off these days. I am tempted to say if I was you I would enjoy your dd have a rest from it all and then see how you feel after some time away from ttc.

Thanks for all the support and advice ladies. I had a scan at Epu today and it confirmed the failed pregnancy. I am having an Erpc tomorrow morning as hoping to get this pregnancy tested. I haven't started bleeding yet and there is still a foetal pole in the sac so I am hoping to catch it before it disintegrates too much. I told DH today that I was booked in tomorrow and he said " this can't come at a worse time for me as I have booked my car in at the garage and work is so busy that I can't take time off!" Sorry to be an inconvenience! I wish men would think before they blurt stuff out. Anyway my neighbour is taking me tomorrow instead. That's another reason why I was thinking of stopping as DH doesn't have the same need as me for another child and can be a bit of a b*stard when it comes to dealing with emotions. I always feel alone in this struggle!

I spoke to the midwife at ZW today and she was lovely (a bit like Louise at nlc). We chatted about ivf and using cgh as an option in the future but we can't afford to do that. I told her about you duggs that it failed for you so it's still not a fail safe treatment. I also asked her about clomid as I know it works differently to letrozole. I have never tried clomid but would consider that as it tends to push out more than one egg at a time, whereas letrozole tends to just develop one or two. My friend had 3 sacks on clomid at her 7 week scan with 2 having embryos. She sadly lost one but is now 27 weeks with the one baby. Just goes to show you that 2 out of her three eggs failed.

ZW said I would need to wait a couple of months anyway to rest my body so I might be ready to try again then.

pebbles I agree that its hard to know when to stop when I can still conceive as I feel like I am constantly grieving. One minute I am happy I am preg and then it all comes crashing down.

swilondonanny the main reason I am doing this is because dd gets upset that she doesn't have a sibling. She still keeps drawing pictures of her and the baby I lost last year playing together and asks me daily why she can't have a sister. It breaks my heart as I feel like I am letting her down. The reasons change once you have one child. She doesn't have any family her own age and I worry that as we are older parents that she could be left on her own in the future. I think ari also said the same thing about her dd.

I think that the need to have a child of either one or two or three etc feels the same to the person who want it. I keep saying that I would be happy at two and stop but there are ladies on here who are trying for their 3rd with recurrent miscarriages. I empathise with the ladies on here who want to experience being a mum with just one child as I think my dd is the only thing that has kept me going.

Well I am a bit, well don't even know what to call it. Just had DH sperm analysis and he has a low sperm count and they recommend ICSI based on the results!!! No wonder I am not really getting pregnant recently ( last year). I suppose I'd better post on general conception to see how to improve it ( he had a few health issues over last year so am not that surprised but was hoping for better results)

Sue sorry didn't see you post . Yes I do understand that. I have a sister. It is lovely to have a sibling. She is now thinking about having a fourth one. As she feels that her family is not complete yet. She has loads of healt issues and the next pregnancy would be really bad for her health. But she still feels that she really wants another baby.
I hope I didn't upset you. I hope I didn't sound like I was saying you should not try for another one. If I sounded like that I do apologize.
I admire you for your strenght. And how well you cope

Don't worry you didn't upset me! It must be hard for you seeing your sister with 3 kids even if she does want another. I think its more the fact that its hard when the decision to have kids is taken away from us regardless of how many.

With your DH sperm count there is lots that can be done to improve it. A friend of mine had the same prob and they conceived first time with icsi with twins. He had weekly acupuncture and used vitamins from zita west. Brazil nuts and pumpkin/sunflower seeds are supposed to help too plus a restricted diet free from alcohol and wheat.

sue Yes, that's exactly the case for me too. DD still desperately wants a sibling of her own - she has no cousins that are children, all are adults, and she so very much wants someone of her own, even though she knows they wouldn't really be a playmate for her now because she's almost 7. It's the only thing that keeps me on this maddening journey and breaks my heart that I haven't been able to do this for her.

nanny Echoing what sue says - there are lots of things that can help with improving sperm, including vitamins like co-q10, a good fertility multivit like sue suggests, selenium and zinc spring to mind. I didn't have this issue, but if you read around there are lots of things that can help. Also have the two of you done the 'hidden' chlamydia and the other Greek infection testing? Sometimes the antibiotics that are prescribed for these also vastly improves sperm.

NLC just came back to me about hydroxy dose and they are saying that it is right 200mg three times a day! I feel a bit bad about questioning Mr G but said to them I knew other people who were prescribed it by Mr S and it was only once a day, what with the metformin that will make six a day before I even count vitamins and them pred etc...

Is the pregnant girl at works leaving drink as she is off on maternity today, trying to get out of it but feeling like a miserable cow for not going and getting hassled by people to go. Just not sure I can face her happiness and constant stroking of her bump.....

pebbles If you don't feel up to going, then just don't go. No-one should ever feel pressurised in going to any social event, least of all one where you will feel really uncomfortable at the very least! Interesting what you say about your hydroxy dose, I wonder why it's so much more? I was also prescribed just one 200mg a day.

I am normally pretty sociable but said no to all work things recently as have either been having treatment, pregnant or miscarrying!

It worries me such a high dose and also Mr G said he doesn't normally prescribe it and would need to see Mr S but I got him to backtrack as wasn't paying another load of money for an appointment just to get a prescription.

sue I just wanted to echo what everyone else has said. No new words from me other than I am sorry that you are going through this. Just take your time to think what you want to do long term. I also would love to give my ds a sibling. Before he was born I was just saying even if I could just have one. Now I want him to have a sibling so that he is not alone when me and dh die (not for many years hopefully.) But at one level I may have to accept he is my miracle. Also I do not want him to lose out if we are spending all our time TTC and then the fear of each pregnancy. Does that make sense. He is only 3 months old and I am already thinking that.

pebbles could you just take it once a day if you think Mr G has the dose too high. Could it be the difference between different doctor regime. You know Mr S prednisolone doses seem high compared to others. Do you think it is something like that?

Lemon, you echo my sentiments exactly. Especially lately, when I read about the desperate pain of some of you ladies to have baby no 1, I count my blessings and think why should I be allowed to have another one, when I've already had my miracle, and some people would be so grateful to be where I am. But at the same time, I would like so much to give him a sibling. I think about the burden of looking after us when we're old for instance, and that falling on his shoulders entirely. He calls the hamster his brother and the cat his sister and that's pretty pitiful!

We are hopefully getting a puppy next year so that will have to be my furry baby too! Seems like a lot of us are substituting pets. It all helps I think and dd has already named him Fred!

I also feel guilty that we have one ch

I also feel guilty that we have one child and there are ladies on here who are TTC their first.

Changing the subject, did anyone see in the news last week that preg women should avoid all tinned food and using a microwave as it has been proved to increase miscarriages?

I always instinctively kept out of the way of microwaves in pregnancy, but tinned food too? Don't these people know we've got enough to worry about?!

Hmm microwave and tinned food - don't do either... Use special stainsteel pots to cook in as well... Hasn't helped so far.
Anyway, Well I just peed on the test! Am 9dpo. But was told in my RCM to start testing early. There is something - a ghost of a line. Can't tell if blue or gray. So can be evaporation line. But was there within 3 mins. And all the mentaling starts again. Will test tomorrow with red/pink test, as they are more reliable. I just don't know if I should start stuffing myself with all the medication - test might be faulty. Or not and if the test is right I might miss it! Grrr... I can't just start injecting myself with bloody fragmin... Or can I? Don't even know how. Also need cyclogest and prednisolone from positive test. What to do???

Nanny 9dpo is still v early so I would say hold out until tomorrow as a day this early won't make a difference. Then if it is a positive tomorrow you can get on the clexane, cyclogest and pred. Best of luck x

Thank you Duggs, that's true, another 12 hours shouldn't make much difference

Brill, Nanny. What tests do you use? I find the blue-lined ones better than pink. These procedures seem to do the job, don't they? Somehow rummaging around in there seems to trigger something good.

I don't eat a lot of tinned food either but do have jacket potatoes with beans plus cook porridge in the microwave!

swnanny were you on superovulation or using an hcg injection as that could be left over in your system? duggs and I both had this happen.

I think with my last miscarriage I got a bfp at 8 dpo so it is possible though!

Brown Clearblue one with cross, think they are meant to be 4 days early. Always work earlier for me that FRER, and they are cheaper.
They did endometrial scratch with the biopsy - that was last cycle, was told that should help with implantation in next few cycles.
If that test is positive tomorrow I will put it down to my new love of new smirnoff gold though . I don't normally drink alcohol but when I got pregnant in february I had a 'few' shots of cognac. So my conclusion ( if I am pregnant ) would be that I need to drink more from ovulation and my DH not at all ( to improve his sperm count!!!)
I wonder if there is any study done to see how NKcells react to spirits???
If not maybe we should do one?

Sue no, only help I get is with acupuncture, seems to work well so far ( ovulation bit I mean)